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A little rebranding!

 

R.I.P. Pokemon Go

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11,724 comments

  • More reposting
    Day 1-Bloom (This is the first part because of the word limit)
    Starting the game, I pick from the four default character options, choose my name, and start spamming the A button like my life depends on it. Hop drags me out of my house when I’M TRYING TO LOOK AT MY PHONE so we can see his brother or something boring like that. I go to his house for literally no reason before going to see Leon. He’s Charizard posing it up, and there’s this one lady in the crowd who looks incredibly fearful for no reason. Weird. Ignoring that I get to go choose my starter. The random number generator gods graced me with Grookey (the pokemon I probably wanted the least because I like the stat spread of the other two better, but hey bulk is good in things like this). I name him Smackbloom, for he is a plant and I am a bloom. Also, his main function is smack. I scratch and poke Hop’s pets to death before continuing onwards. Well, that’s what I would say if I didn’t have to go the Slumbering Weld to find some stupid Wooloo. I go through the Weld as quickly as possible before poking a ghost doggo until it throws fog in my face that somehow makes me faint. This part of the game is never explained. Leon doesn’t come until after we wake up, so great job being a responsible adult Leon. He takes us out of the dangerous fog zone. I go to route one and find my first encounter. This pokemon could be a loyal ally who along with my starter helps me through the rest of my perilous journey. Or it could be a Blipbug. Who dies to a critical hit scratch. Failed encounter count: 1. Sulking and thinking that Blipbug was about as good as sour grapes, I continue onwards and spam A more while Sonia throws a Pokedex at my face. (end of Part 1)

  • More reposts
    Day 1-Bloom (Part 2)
    I finally go to the next route and encounter a Lotad. Being perfectly honest I didn’t even know that Lotad could be encountered on this route. Cool! I actually caught this one and named it Hatlily, because both of our encounters evolve into something with a crazy head, and that head happens to be a Lily. Sure it’s a grass type but water will be useful, and I don’t have to worry about electric or grass attacks as much. I grind more because I’m paranoid, and we go off for the day. No deaths and one failed encounter is the count. Let’s see how much that changes. As of now, we’re not dead. Yet. *screen fades to black as dramatic music plays in the background*