There is a prophecy wheel. Things happen.
Set during The Apprentice’s Quest (totally not skipping Bramblestar’s Storm because I’m too lazy to get it from the library and fact-check)
Raggedstar: *sitting at fancy-looking desk on TV* And that finishes up our Raggedstar Report on how SkyClan, or what’s left of SkyClan, is faring on their quest to the lake. Now, back to Flowerstar with the weather!
Flowerstar: *rolls eyes* It’s called Flowerstar’s Forecast, Mr. Smart Guy.
Raggedstar: *flicks tail dismissively* Yeah yeah, well never mind that. Where’s my coffee? HOLLYLEAF! I NEED MY COFFEE!!
Hollyleaf: *hurries in with mug of coffee* I don’t see why I don’t get to have my own special report.
Raggedstar: Just for leaders, honey. Leaders are the best, wisest, most camera-ready-
Hollyleaf: Have the best memories?
Raggedstar: Huh? Oh yeah, yeah of course!
Hollyleaf: WELL GET REKT SON YOU FORGOT JAYFEATHER’S PROPHECY WHEEL!!!!
Oakheart the Cameraman: BURN!!!!
Raggedstar: Oakheart what are you doing turn the camera to the Gathering right now!! Hey! Hollyleaf, no spilling coffee on me!
Hollyleaf: *laughs mischievously* wasn’t me!
Cliche deep announcer voice: And now, live from the Gathering….
All of my lovely BlogClan commentators from off the TV: JAYFEATHER’S PROPHECY WHEEL!!!
Lionpaw: Did ya see that burn though! GO HOLLYLEAF!!
Wollowpaw: IT’S STARTING!!!
~back on TV~
Onestar: And that concludes my report on how everybody sucks and WindClan is awesome and I’m awesome but no one else is.
Everybody else: Really -_-
Bramblestar: Jayfeather you skipped a whole bunch of Gatherings with your prophecy wheel, now you DID bring it this time, right?
Jayfeather: *sigh* Yes.
Needlepaw: Omg ThunderClan cats are so forgetful.
Sleekpaw: Omg yes they so totally are *flips imaginary hair and chews imaginary bubble gum*
Beepaw: Hey the imaginary bubble gum is my thing! *tackles Sleekpaw*
Sleekpaw: Hey it’s my thing now!
Needlepaw: *eats popcorn*
Tawnypelt: Needlepaw! No eating popcorn with braces!
Needlepaw: But rules are meant to be broken :3
Tawnypelt: *takes popcorn away and eats it herself*
Needlepaw: That’s the harshest punishment I’ve ever gotten…
Everyone but ShadowClan: o.O wow…
Rowanstar: *quickly changes subject* So, yes yes the wheel! Does ThunderClan’s new medicine cat apprentice want to spin first?
Sparkpaw: Aaaaaah omg yes totally do it you get to spin Jayfeather’s Prophecy Wheel aaaah what an honor! I’m so happy for you *squeezes Alderpaw*
Leafpool: Alderpaw do you want to spin first?
Alderpaw: Um, sure. *spins*
Leafpool: *reading* We will split the sky. And later, stars will rise.
Whitetail: Um, so, anyone know that prophecy?
Everyone: *more silence*
Mistystar: Let’s ask the elders! Elders, do you know that prophecy?
Mapleheart: Shoot well that’s not gonna work very well.
Wingpaw: Did ya see Whitetail though? Like Whitetail/White Tail? She should know 🙁
Dawnkit: She’s a completely different cat though…
Wingpaw: But STILL!
Wollowpaw: GUYS SHH!!!
Dewnose: *mutters* you’re practically an elder yourself, Mistystar.
Reedwhisker: HEY! Wanna go bro? You wanna go you wanna go bro? FITE MEH
Reedwhisker and Dewnose: >:(
Kestrelflight: Hey, I found the facts on the prophecy!
Everyone: *quiets down immediately*
Rowanstar: Ooh, teach me how to do that.
ShadowClan apprentices: NO!!!
Kestrelflight: Well, that silence was ruined. Anyway, the interpreter was some guy named… Moth Flight?
Jayfeather: o.O Ancient name
Whitetail: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH OMG MOTHFLIGHT NO WAY I’M HER BIGGEST FAN!!!
Heathertail: NO I AM!!!
Whitetail: FIGHT ME!!
Bramblestar: Control your Clanmates, Onestar!
Onestar: *eats popcorn* go Heathertail!
Whitetail: Favoritism 🙁
Heathertail: See he likes me more >:D
Onestar: Well yeah duh she’s my DAUGHTER…
Willowshine: Hey WindClan shush anyway the sign was a message from StarClan to Moth Flight.
Heathertail: Hey it’s Mothflight.
Willowshine: *shrug* that’s what the wheel says…
Maplekit: HEY NO MESSING WITH MY JAYBAE HEATHERTAIL
Breezepaw: Uh huh u wanna go girl u wanna go?
Wollowpaw: HEY GUYS SHUSH I’M TRYING TO WATCH DON’T MESS WITH ME OR GEESE WILL COME AFTER YOU
Everyone: *shuts up*
Wollowpaw: That’s better *eats popcorn*
Leafpool: Hey hey hey let’s continue it says that StarClan sent a bolt of lightning across the sky during a Gathering-
Cherryfall: Ooh, maybe it’s THIS Gathering! *looks up at the sky expectantly*
Everyone who’s read MFV: *facepaw*
Mist: Now I can’t see 🙁
Leafpool: Um, probably not. Anyway. it was to show that Moth Flight is telling the truth about medicine cats-
Heathertail: So maybe Mothflight is trying to tell us that medicine cats suck!
All the medicine cats including Mothwing and Littlecloud: HEY!!
Squirrelflight: Fight me bro!
Winterpaw: Hey medicine cats are cool 🙁 DIE HEATHERTAIL
Stormy: Hey Heathertail’s cool sometimes.
Sea: You kidding? No she’s not!
~up in the StarClan TV Headquarters~
Moth Flight: *facepaw*
~at the Gathering~
Leafpool: Shut up and-
Ambermoon: DANCE! *Shut Up and Dance starts playing and a bunch of cats start dancing*
Littlecloud: *facepaw* Oy, in my day the Gatherings were actually for sharing news!
Juniperpaw: But this is so much cooler! *dances*
Leafpool: OKAY DANCE PARTY WHEN WE’RE DONE! *shuts off music*
Lionpaw: Aww, I liked that song!
Sea: Me too.
Stormy: But now we get to hear the end of the prophecy so listen!
Wollowpaw: Hey that’s my job!
Stormy, Sea, and Wollowpaw: NO!!
Wavepaw: No I ship Wollup
Wollowpaw and Lupinepaw: 🙁
Stormy: Coolio yay no more Stormywollow
Darkpaw: Look at the allegiances…
Stormy and Wollow: NUUUUUUUUU!!!!
~back on TV~
Willowshine: The stars that rose were the leaders receiving their nine lives, with Wind Runner being the first.
Leaftail: OMG WINDSTAR’S WARRIOR NAME WAS WINDRUNNER! Fernpaw, are you documenting this for WindClan’s Official History?
Fernpaw: *writing furiously* Yes, sir!
Cinderheart: Well that’s an old prophecy!
Leafpool: Alderpaw, spin again, and maybe you read this time.
Alderpaw: *gulps* Um, s-sure! *spins*
Um, a Terrible Force is Coming!
Willowshine: *reading* A poison will spring from the heart of ShadowClan-
ShadowClan: *gasps* NUUUUUU!!!!
Littlecloud: WHY DIDN’T I KNOW ABOUT THIS???????
Rowanstar: Hey, what about me?
Crowfrost: Don’t forget me! *waves*
Wavepaw: Pun not intended.
Willowshine: Well, let’s find out. *reading* A poison will spring from the heart of ShadowClan, and spread to the other Clans. A storm of blood and fire will sweep the forest.
Lizardtail: Well that’s ominous…
Lionpaw: You included your canon dad?
Wavepaw: Yupperdoodles :3
Kestrelflight: *reading* The sign was a message from Molepelt and the interpreter was Featherpaw. Anyone know a Molepelt or Featherpaw?
Everyone: *turns to look at the wrong Featherpaw (Featherpelt, not Featherwhisker) who is currently at the Gathering*
Featherpaw: Umm, I haven’t received any signs yet…
Willowshine: Well, let us know when you do!
Leafpool: Actually, I think this is a different Featherpaw. Look, it says that the meaning is that Yellowfang, the future ShadowClan medicine cat, becomes mates with Raggedstar and gives birth to Brokenstar, who nearly destroys the Clans, and trains kits below six moons.
Featherpaw: Oh, phew. Not me.
Onestar: Wait, really? I didn’t know that…
Harespring: Which part?
Onestar: All of it!
Kestrelflight: *nervously* Well, how about that dance party?
Jayfeather: *puts on Shut up and Dance*
Everyone: *shuts up and dances*
My lovely BlogClan commentators: *dance*
Wingpaw: Can you believe Onestar didn’t know about the Yellowfang thing?
Stoatkit: Ikr! It’s such old news.
Stormy: SHUT UP AND DANCE, GUYS!
Sea: -with me 😉
Owlheart: *pushes Wollow toward Stormy*
Stormy and Wollow: AAAAAAAH NUUUU
Wavepaw: BUT WOLLUP
Mist: Guys, the ending is happening! 😀
Wollowpaw: My job 🙁
Onestar: Okay this is completely crazy WINDCLAN WE’RE LEAVING!!!
WindClan: Aww *leaves*
Mistystar: Jayfeather please don’t forget your wheel next time
Jayfeather: *puts on shades* of course not
Alderpaw: Mentor you’re embarrassing me…
Jayfeather: HOW DARE YOU
Mist: Yikes. No messing with Jayfeather XD
Mapleheart: Sounds about right.
Jayfeather: *props up shades on his forehead and looks at camera that Oakheart the Cameraman has hidden in a bush* Until next time… *winks*
Leafpool: Um Jayfeather why are you talking to a bush?
Jayfeather: *props shades on*
Wollowpaw: JOIN GOOSECLAN!!
Cindertail: JOIN DUCKCLAN!!!
Gigglepaw: JOIN CUDDLEDUCKCLAN!!!
Sunnystripe: JOIN FOWLCLAN WHICH IS BASICALLY ALL OF THEM!!
Wollowpaw: Hey that’s me!
Wavepaw: Shoot I can’t advertise secret Clans… *quickly changes channel*
Cliche deep-voiced announcer: And as we watch the Melodie in her natural habitat (aka Wavepaw and Icepaw’s house), she enjoys curling up on the couch, being carried out on the porch, and kneading Wavepaw’s silver blanket. Some of her favorite toys are various strings, as being shown right now.
Melodie: *leaps gracefully and perfectly for string*
Owlheart: Okay Wavey you just hijacked it to show your cat…
Stoatkit: She’s cute!
Wavepaw: Yes she is and I get author privileges :3
Wingpaw: Ooh, author privileges. Lucky!
Wavepaw: Okay I’m ending it now. BEST ENDING EVER!!! To quote Jayfeather-by-me: “Until next time…” now CYA!!! *waves wildly as the screen magically fades to black*
Wavepaw: *pops up again on now-black screen* and no pun intended! 😀