Mapleshade: The Eternal Mystery by Sorrelpaw

Sorrelpaw share a skit about Mapleshade.

Artist unknown (Source: iFunny?)


Sorrelpaw: Hi!! I’m Sorrelpaw.
Sizzlepaw:And I’m Sizzlepaw la dee da.
Sorrelpaw: We’re doing an article today called “Mapleshade: The Eternal Mystery”
Sizzlepaw: Which is about Mapleshade!
Sorrelpaw: *rolls eyes* I’m reasonably sure everyone has guessed that already. Maybe judging from the title. Ya know?
Sizzlepaw: If you insist.
Sorrelpaw: Which I do.
Sizzlepaw: Ooookay whatever. But this article won’t be the normal Mapleshade article because we aren’t trying to defend her or to oppose her.
Sorrelpaw: Yes. We are observing Mapleshade through a point of definite neutrality.
Sizzlepaw: Really?
Sorrelpaw: No, not really. I’m going to defend Mapleshade until your ears fall off.
Sizzlepaw: Whateverrrr. Tell me when you’re ready to get on with the article.
Sorrelpaw: I iz ready nowz.
Sizzlepaw: Okay. So get on with it. Why did we give this article the name “Mapleshade: The Eternal Mystery”?
Sorrelpaw: You forgot already?
Sizzlepaw: nO, I’m trying to get you focused!
Sorrelpaw: Do you realize that if you get me fur-cused you don’t need to be here? I could spin a good article on my own.
Sizzlepaw: Oh I know that. But I have to be here to help you stay fur-cused (is that a CAT PUN I SEE?! Cat puns are eerie-sistable. Technicallly that was a ghost pun but ghost puns are coooool toooooo.)
Sorrelpaw: So much for staying focused.
Sizzlepaw: Okay okay okay… It’s called “The Eternal Mystery” because Mapleshade is a MYSTERY.
Sorrelpaw: The main things mysterious about her will be listed in this article. Fur-st off, how did she transform? We all know she was just a simple queen who wanted revenge for her kits. How did she turn into the bloodthirsty, terrifying leader of the DF??
Sizzlepaw: That’s purrhaps the easiest to answer. She already had some hate towards ThunderClan, and RiverClan. In the df where she could brood over this anger, it grew and grew until BAM she started becoming the vengeful kitten.
Sorrelpaw: Quite correct!
Sizzlepaw: So what’s the second mystery?
Sorrelpaw: The second meow-stery is, what kind of relationship did Mapleshade and Birchface have?
Sizzlepaw: Yes. Frecklewish (thunderclannnnnn) came to see Mapleshade and then when she asked, was birchface the father, Mapleshade was silent but Frecklewish assumed that Birchface was the father without Mapleshade speaking.
Sorrelpaw: How could that happen? The only reasonable answer is that, well, evidently Birchface and Mapleshade had enough of something going on between them that it could fool a Clanmate into believing they were actually MATES.
Sizzlepaw: Which will lead us to wonder, what relationship did Mapleshade and Borchface (not going to correct that hilarious typo) have?
Sorrelpaw: Borchface ecks dee
Sizzlepaw: And if they really did have a relationship…
Sorrelpaw: Was it paw-sitive or negative? Could it be claw-mpared to Appledusk and Mapleshade’s relationship?
Stop it with the puns SORZU you are killing me.
I’m afraid not, SOZZLE.
Did you just call me sozzle
Like you called me Sorzu.
I’m mar-fur-lous aren’t I?!
Yes and you’ll be more marvelous if you tell us the final reason why Mapleshade is mysterious.
Easy. Because of her fans. Okay okay because she’s supposed to be an evil character but instead she has legions of fans. And those fans are real life non DF people. How does she do that?! She doesn’t go threaten people, saying if ya don’t be me fan i gonna killz uz.
Yep. So how? In the comments feel free to tell us what you think!
And we’ll leave it at that. Farewell and keep faith and keep those cat puns coming 😉 The world needs lots of cat puns. Fur-tunately, we have lots 😉

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