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Breath of Life

~~~

The whispers wake me. The whispers that I hear before dawn, every day. A voice without a body.

The whispers compel me to do terrible things. They’ve been in my head since I was a kit. Once, long ago, I obeyed the voice. I was driven mad with grief over the death of my sister. The voice told me to get revenge on the one who killed her. I listened to it. I will never forget the crime I committed. I can still see the cat’s once-blazing amber eyes, glossed over and staring at something I could not see. I can still feel the sickeningly warm blood on my claws, trickling onto the hard gray floor… at that moment I realized that I was about as good as the murderer I killed.

The whispers drive me crazy. I haven’t slept in sunrises. I’ve given up trying to block them out, trying to be sane—I’ve stopped trying to hold back the hysteric screeches that tear my throat in two every day.

This morning is different, though.

The voice is telling me to go somewhere. I listen with the first spark of interest, maybe even hope, that I’ve had in moons.

“There is a forest.” it says. “Follow the setting sun and you will find it. The forest is a place in which many cats dwell. This is the place that you belong.”

“Which forest? I’m sure there are many I will find if I follow the setting sun alone,” I protest.

The whispers don’t reply right away. Instead, a loud sound like the howling of the wind fills my ears. I wince at the painful noise. Then, almost as quickly as it had come, the howling fades. The figure of a cat whirls in front of me. It’s not really a cat; more like a dark silhouette of one, with scarlet eyes that burn into me like two little flames. I begin to tremble, and fear pounds on my heart. I take a step back.

“You shall travel for one night,” the shadow cat says, its voice like claws being dragged down the brick walls of my alleyway. “If you become lost, I shall guide you back to the path you are meant to follow. Now, the sun will set soon. You must go.”

I nod shakily, and begin to run out of the alleyway. I look back at my home that I will never see again. The shadow cat is gone, and without a single thing to whisper in my ear.

~~~

I pad in lush grass, dew beginning to cling onto my tangled night-black fur. I savor the sweet silence of the evening, inhaling deeply to capture the crisp twilight air.

I suddenly hear the howling-wind noise that tells me the shadow cat is coming. I am no longer afraid of it; instead, it has almost become a friend.

“I have never asked you who you are, or who you might have been.” I say.

The shadow cat walks beside me, its paws making no sound.

“I am not really an individual. But I know every wisp of your fur, every thought that has entered your mind. In a way, I am you. I am your fury and your pain. I am the impulses and negativity that make you mortal. But I am also the dreams that motivate you to live. I am also… your hope.” The shadow cat dissipates and blows away like a pile of ashes. I let out a long, deep sigh.

Every cat has pain and negativity. But they don’t hear their emotions whispering to them. They don’t see their emotions as a… creature. So why do I?

Why me?

~~~

“Is this it?” I mutter. In front of me is a forest, miles of towering pine trees disappearing into darkness. “Is this where I’m meant to be?”

“Yes. Venture into it. See who you find.” the shadow cat whispers to me.

Taking a deep breath, I set paw into the forest, determinedly looking ahead. I continue on, my world spiraling in front of me, all the memories that make me who I am draining down, down, down.

My new life.

My new hope.

It’s here.

I can feel it.

I break into a run, happiness glowing in my chest and flowing into my limbs, strengthening my tired bones.

I feel my shadow cat blow away, like a pile of ashes. All the whispers cease with one breath, a breath of life.

It’s beautiful.

~~~