A Warriors Skit: Starclan’s Blessing? by Star That Falls Through Navy Sky

Star That Falls Through Navy Sky shares a skit about what goes on in StarClan between arcs. Minor spoilers for AVOS and/or recent super editions!

DISCLAIMER: This is all a joke

Salutations and welcome to this skit. I am Star That Falls Through Navy Sky and this is my second article. Hopefully it won’t be as cringey as my first (although with that introduction it probably will be). I thought of this skit after reading TSR spoilers (does anyone like spoilers? I do for some odd reason except for these ones ): ). I then wrote a post telling people not to give up on warriors or the blog. The editors seem to decide everything about the books, from naming kits to (RoF spoiler) killing off much loved characters (still haven’t gotten over Briarlight) (End of RoF spoiler). After reading a lot of ranting posts about these mysterious individuals, I had an ingenious theory ; what if the editors were Starclan cats, out to take revenge on all the living clans. Without further ado, here is my skit… Do not read if you haven’t read RoF!

Bluestar: CLAN MEETING PEEPS!
*the cats gather*
Yellowfang: What is it about this time?
Bluestar: We need a new warrior cats book so we can be important and annoying
Everyone: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Bluestar: it needs a name. Any suggestions?
Tallstar: I have one. Let’s call it unnecessary sequel #397
Bluestar: a bit too factually correct. Next!
Frogstar: worthless fan fiction?
Bluestar: we at least have to pretend that it matters! Next!
Skystar: Skyclan gets the spotlight!
Bluestar: NO! You already have like 3 million books about you! Next!
Onestar: doesn’t Thunderclan also have 3 million books about them?
Bluestar: well we just got a book about how you give bad advice so shut up!
Onestar: that hurt
Yellowfang: like my character development after I died
Onestar: you do know that you just roasted yourself
Darktail: I’m selling Onestar repellant if you want to get away from him
*gestures to Crowfeather’s Trial book stand and a badge reading ‘Onestar sucks lol’*
Onestar: where in Starclan did you come from?
Darktail: nowhere…*slides creepily away*
Crookedstar: well Riverclan hasn’t had anything named after them for ages
Bluestar: FOR THE LAST TIME THIS BOOK IS ABOUT THUNDERCLAN!
Crookedstar: I’ll steal all of your secret prey stash if you don’t give in
Bluestar: well I’m self centred so…FINE
*everyone from Thunderclan facepalms*
Brambleberry: *high fives Oakheart and Leopardstar* yesssssss! 1-0 to Riverclan!
Gorsepaw: as football coach of Starclan I should have been notified about this!
Bluestar: well we have to have something to do with Thunderclan!
Firestar: WHAT ABOUT ME?
Tallstar: good grief
Bluestar: consider it done! River of Fire it is!
Bluestar: now main characters!
Cinderpelt: I thought we already had Twigthing and Whatsherface?
Bluestar: we need new ones tho
Firestar: I thought we were still on Uselessheart?
Pinestar: it runs in the family
*awkward silence*
Pinestar: we need kittypets!
Bluestar: but we don’t need lame characters
Firestar: OOOOOOH BUUUUUURN PINESTAR!
Pinestar: shut up
Tallstar: if you keep misbehaving then I’ll have to tell daddy!
Firestar: YOU DONT KNOW MY FATHER!
Heatherstar: actually he does
Firestar: *shuts up*
Bluestar: now onto shipping and pointless love interests!
Onestar: here we go again with Crowfeather’s favourite past time!
Bluestar: we must destroy the TwigxFin ship!
Everyone: Here Here!
Bluestar: we must introduce a wierd guy called Tree who can love Violetcanblindyouwithhershinyness
Firestar: can he be related to me?
Moth Flight: can he be related to me?
Bluestar: I command a battle!
Firestar and Moth Flight: rock, paper, scissors!
*Moth Flight beats Firestar with Rock*
Firestar: dang it!
Rock: WE NEED A POINTLESS PROPHECY WITH ME IN IT! YOU OWE ME MOTH FLIGHT!
Bluestar: this sure is going to be a bestseller!
Everyone: AGREED!

So I hope you enjoyed my useless skit!

PS: Gorsepaw is defo football coach of Starclan