Happy Mail!

Hey dudes, it’s day some-number-I-honestly-don’t-remember-what of self-isolation and quarantine. I know it’s been incredibly tough to be alone, so I thought it was a good time for a Happy Mail!

It’s been lonely. I’m not going to dance around it. We may be surrounded by family, we may be in contact with friends, we may receive email from teachers, but there’s some pervasive emotion that keeps banging us on the side of the head. There’s so much unknown, and there’s so much uncertainty, and in uncertainty there’s a lack of routine, and with a lack of routine, for lots of folks, there’s a threat to mental health.

Now that you’re all alone to your thoughts, those prevalent thoughts of self-doubt and low self-esteem tend to start to build. I want you to read this, look at the screen, and recognize as I am telling you this that they are just thoughts. You are okay.

When we’ve formed so much of the edifice of our self-esteem on things like accomplishments (doing well in school) or personal traits (being hard-working, intelligent, etc.), and then those things start to seem less real (as we start to struggle to do well in school with the isolation, we start to become a little bit more lax with our routines), it’s no wonder that we start to feel a little bad about ourselves.

Let’s get one thing straight. You do not only have worth just because you are good at school, or you are smart, or you are beautiful. You have worth because I have worth. You have worth because Iceflower has worth, and Sundance has worth, and Kate has worth. You have worth, my dear BlogClanner, and you are loved.

Think about your self-esteem in terms of community, if that helps you. For example, say you feel awful because you got a 67% on your latest online exam. You think you’re not smart, and you just hate yourself for it. Well, I, Kat, just got a 55% on an online exam. Do you think I should feel bad about myself for the bad grade? Why not? Well, use those same reasons towards me for you.

I’m not expecting you to say, “oh perfect, Kat, I’m cured, now I love myself.” I’ve not been able to get there myself yet, and I don’t expect to ever be in a perfect state of self-love. It’s something you have to work at every moment; after all, that’s what love is, isn’t it? If you’ve read my hug page comments, you are probably very tired of this quote, but it applies so consistently to the Ideal that is self-love:

“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” – Mr Rogers

Now that we’ve discussed helping yourself, I’d like to talk a little bit about helping other people. As I’ve mentioned, a lot of people are dealing with mental health issues lately. Your friends might be dropping a lot of heavy information about their own states on you.

Friendship does not mean that you are a therapist. You can be a consoling ear, but know your own limits. Your help and your involvement can only go so far. Remind yourself that you are allowed to take a step back to breathe, and it is not your responsibility to solve your friends’ problems.

I sincerely hope that your journey of self-love is an optimistic one, and if you need any help, drop a comment on the Hug Page or the Tavern. If you need more emergency help, please use one of the hotlines we have on the Hug Page, or reach out to a professional. Getting help can be scary, but it’s so incredibly worth it.

Good evening BlogClan, and good mental health.