Bumblestripe -An Example of Manipulation and Entitlement by Mapledrift

Mapledrift shares xer opinion on Bumblestripe and his actions.

Art by Climbstudios (source: Pinterest)

Hello, I occasionally see some people trying to defend Bumblestripe and as someone who has a personal hatred towards the man I’d like to formulate my feelings and emotions into an article
So, here it is
Enjoy !!

Bumblestripe and many other cats in the clan were constantly pressuring Dovewing to get into a relationship with him. Whenever she displayed a lack of interest, instead of moving on from that situation, he proceeded to sulk and essentially mope about how it was cruel of Dovewing to reject him. I distinctly remember some other cat getting annoyed at Dovewing for being mean when all she was doing was rejecting romantic advances. This is incredibly hard to respond to, as what are you meant to say in response ? Oh of course I will date this man that I am not attracted to now that you’ve said that or seem cold hearted and ignore the comment – Dovewing is forced into a situation where she has no option but to feel bad for her actions
That constant pressure on someone can make them feel like they should be reciprocating feelings, when there are no feelings. Here are some thoughts that might cross the mind of a person in this situation :
“Am I being too harsh ?”
“He’s a really nice guy, maybe I should give him a chance”
“I don’t want to make him upset”
So yes, he was pressuring her, whether he meant to or not, the pressure was there by his actions. In reality if someone denies feelings for you, you shouldn’t continually pursue that person, they’ve given their answer. Bumblestripe refuses to accept no as an answer. This isn’t love, it’s infatuation and obsession to the point where he doesn’t actually care about Dovewing’s feelings. Overtime, Dovewing may have began to mix up the feelings of friendship and a crush, to the point where she “returned” Bumblestripe’s feelings even though her true emotions weren’t romantic.

Now we get onto the time when Dovewing and Bumblestripe were mates.
Throughout their whole relationship, Dovewing seemed incredibly uncomfortable . It appeared that she settled for him instead of pursuing a relationship with him because actual feelings blossomed, which is a huge red flag for an unhealthy relationship
Also, Bumblestripe seemed to constantly bring up the concept of having children with Dovewing, even after she expressed discomfort with this idea many times. Even at her close friend (Purdy )’s funeral, Bumblestripe again brought up the idea of having kittens with her.
This constant pestering and and not listening to Dovewing’s opinions are more huge red flags for any relationship, especially with a topic like children. Dovewing was CLEARLY not interested in having children with Bumblestripe which is, after all, entirely her choice. She is her own person and she can make that choice. Yet Bumblestripe doesn’t let it go. He always brings it up, showing again how he doesn’t care about her own personal feelings, only caring about what HE wants out of this relationship. It also highlights how he seems to think that pressuring her into these things is ok, which it absolutely is not.
Whilst he’s trying to convince her to have kits with him, he uses backhanded compliments, complimenting her “motherly abilities”. These are absolutely signs of manipulation as he is complimenting her only to get what he wants out of her. He was still too caught up in his fantasy world to see that he was bothering her, and at this point I don’t think he truly cared.

All in all, Bumblestripe pressures Dovewing into a relationship regardless of her feelings for him. He continues to pressure her so that he can get what he thinks is the perfect future for both of them even when Dovewing clearly doesn’t share these feelings and it is negatively impacting her. He feels like he is entitled to get what he wants, when he really is not.

Thank you so much for reading, feel free to talk about your thoughts on Bumblestripe in the comments. Also, a fun fact, this article was actually originally a comment that I edited and added to create an article. If anyone can find the original comment you win my undying respect

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105 comments

  • You make a lot of good points! I agree with you, great job!

  • Great article! I totally agree with you, especially I’ve actually unluckily encountered someone like him I’m real life (if you’re on the blogchat, you may know). Bumblestripe has never really cared about Dovewing, and I don’t understand why people defend him.

  • Just ‘dovewing feeling guilty’ doesn’t always mean Bumblestripe is guilt tripping or pressuring her. Dovewing just feeling pressured doesn’t always mean Bumblestripe is pressuring her either. She knew his feelings well,but she hid it. She never expressed how she REALLY feel about him. it makes her playing with his heart even though it’s not what she meant. She never made it clear,so Bumblestripe and his companions would all be like ‘why doesn’t she say a yes or no?’ and tries to make her understand it. But she yet just hides her feelings and never made it clear. how is it pressuring?
    It was Dovewing’s decision becoming mates,and feeling uncomfortable is her fault. It could actually be seen as Dovewing manipulating Bumblestripe into thinking she loved him back by the decision. He brought the topic of the topic 2 times. just two times. She never said no,she never even made it clear. never said directly on anything.
    do you mean ‘you will be a great mother’? because that’s the only part where he compliments her motherly abilities. But that’s not called manipulation. That’s called ‘speaking what’s on his mind’. In bluestar’s prophecy,Thrushpelt says ‘you will be a great mother bluefur’ but i don’t see any person saying that Thrushpelt is manipulative.
    you have a good point,but Bumblestripe isn’t really the bad guy everyone says. he’s..misunderstood in my opinion.

    • I don’t really remember the context of Bumblestripe’s comments, but I’m pretty sure he brings up the subject of kits multiple times? He mentions it in Bramblestar’s storm, and I remember it being kind of pressuring, and then there’s a bonus scene that I haven’t actually read where he brings up kits right after Purdy’s death. Whether or not he meant to be manipulative, he definitly wasn’t being very conscious of Dovewing’s feelings.

      However I do remember the context of Thrushpelt’s comment, and it’s not really a ‘let’s have kits together!’ thing like Bumblestripe’s was. They were discussing her taking care of Whitekit, and Thrushpelt says that Whitekit’s lucky to have Bluefur to look after him. Bluefur expresses doubt about whether or not Whitekit really is lucky, because she doesn’t think she’s doing a very good job. And yes, he does then say, “I think you’d make a great mother.” Bluefur then feels uncomfortable, and “Thrushpelt shifted his paws as though he was regretting what he’d said,” which already shows him to be more in touch with Bluefur’s feelings than Bumblestripe was with Dovewing.

      I honestly don’t really care about Dovewing/Bumblestripe/Tigerheart very much, but I love Thrushpelt and I don’t really think it was a fair comparison 😛

      • he brought up kits only twice. He never pressured her,just asked her. feeling pressured doesn’t always mean it IS pressuring. very conscious of Dovewing’s feelings? no. Dovewing never made it clear of him of her feelings,and the only reason we KNOW about Dovewing’s feelings is because we know all about tigerdove and her POV.

        Whether he meant anything or not,he did say it. Thrushpelt had a crush on Bluefur,and no one knows Thrushpelt did it just to compliment her,or wanting to bring it up using Whitekit.(no hate for thrush). I think Thrush only did it to compliment her,and i don’t see why Bumblestripe isn’t just because he doesn’t seem ‘regretful’.that was what i was saying,not ‘thrush is manipulative’. Bumblestripe is just realistic in my opinion. Thrushpelt’s personality is like that. He is kind and gentle,and is very sensitive of what he himself says. i doubt he did that because he knew blue’s uncomfortableness,as cats are the same as people,they don’t know if someone doesn’t make it clear,or make clear boundaries,or tell directly that they don’t like them.

    • The definition of guilt tripping is ” to make (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to induce them to do something.”
      However I would argue that what this definition doesn’t include, is that people don’t always think “ah yes I am going to guilt trip people to do something.” NO ! People might not even realise they are guilt tripping someone, and may not go out of their way to do it, but that doesn’t make it any less horrible. Pressure and guilt tripping can happen without the person being consciously aware that is what they are doing, and guess what ? It’s still a bad thing.

      Bumblestripe shouldn’t need a solid no for him to realise what she wanted. If he was pursuing a romantic relationship with her for so long and there was no clear yes, he should have taken that as a sign it wasn’t going to happen. You argue that she was playing with his feelings but I can’t recall anytime when she displayed any interest in romance with him until he had been pushing for it for a long time. She’s not hiding her feelings, she’s acting friendly. She doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, so she attempts to friendzone him, in the hopes it might hurt less.
      People do that in real life all the time if their friend gets a crush on them !!!! If you don’t say anything and still act as friends, people should take it as a hint that you have no romantic interest. Bumble didn’t take the hint. He shouldn’t need a solid no to realise that she doesn’t want a relationship with him, no one should. If he really loves her that much he would notice how uncomfortable she was, and step away.

      It is NOT Dovewing’s fault. How on earth would it be ? She felt extremely uncomfortable with this cat, but there was constant pressure saying that she should like him, and eventually she gave in to that pressure. In real life people may get in to abusive or manipulative relationships even though they already feel uncomfortable with that person, and it’s really not their fault. Like I said before, just because Dovewing never said no, doesn’t mean she said yes either. Bumble NEVER accepted that there could be any sort of relationship between them except for a romantic one, so Dovewing likely felt that if she wanted to keep Bumble in her life, she needed to date him. Even if all she wanted to be was a friend.

      She wasn’t playing with her feelings, and I don’t think we should brush under the rug that fact that bumble LITERALLY MADE HER UNCOMFORTABLE. There’s no way to admit that he was making her uncomfortable and still defend him ? She was uncomfortable with his advances.
      That’s it. There shouldn’t be any argument whether Bumble was in the right or wrong here when Dove was feeling uncomfortable because of his actions

      Right, onto the thing with him calling Dove a great mother. I have first hand experience with this exact kind of manipulation.
      He was calling her a “great mother” in the context of trying to convince her that she should have kits/ proposing the idea of kittens out of the blue. How is that not guilt tripping ? He is making her feel guilty for turning down the idea of having kits. He might not realise he’s doing that, but it is what he is doing.
      From personal experience, I have told I will be a good parent, when I tell people I never want kids. It is absolutely a form of manipulation and pressuring. There’s no question about it, the pressure to reconsider your stance on something when someone insists it is the right thing for you, is really overwhelming.
      I can tell you Dove would have felt guilt for not having kits. She would reconsider her viewpoint, try and think if maybe she could have them, because “oh bumble said she would be a good mother ? therefore maybe I’m just being silly not wanting to have kits”
      There’s no way to say that this isn’t manipulation. It might not have been Bumble’s goal to manipulate, but it was manipulation. I’ve been through this situation, and I will tell you, in the context that Bumble was talking, there is no way to look at his words as anything other than manipulation

      As Flame said, the context in which Thrushpelt said the same thing was when Bluestar was TRYING to be a mother. He was acting as reassurance, comforting her, and also like Flame said, he immediately felt awkward for what he said, out of concern that it might have felt like guilt tripping. He wasn’t intending to convince her to have kits.

      A big difference between Thrush and Bumble is Thrush is happy to step back and just be Bluestar’s friend, whereas Bumble doesn’t see any alternative to having a romantic relationship

      • bumble DIDN’T guilt trip! It’s called ‘saying what’s on his mind’
        and what dove meant or not,it’s still not making clear and hiding her feelings. Even if she didn’t want to hurt him,it’s her own fault she was feeling uncomfortable! she never said a clear yes or no. i don’t know why dovewing feeling uncomfortable is bumble’s fault,when all he did was make it clear. if Dovewing made clear boundaries on it,things would’ve been better.

        and I’M talking with MY EXPERIENCE. just because you had once been in that situation doesn’t mean all ‘you’ll be a great mother’ is manipulation. Bumblestripe didn’t manipulate Dovewing! actually,Dovewing maniplated Bumblestripe,by being mates when she didn’t actually have feelings for him,it’s manipulating him to think she loves him.

        • Hey, you two. Gonna pull the plug on this conversation because it’s clear that both of you are fairly passionate about this topic, and I’m sure no one wants to watch a debate spiral into an argument. I think, at this point, it’s not wrong to say that there were mistakes made by both Bumblestripe and Dovewing and that nobody was completely in the clear or completely at fault in that relationship. Just because one phrase may look innocuous at first doesn’t mean that it could end up feeling manipulative by whoever’s on the receiving end of that phrase. We can all agree Bumblestripe and Dovewing had poor communication (and poor timing) in their relationship, which was a huge contributing factor in their separation.

          Please remember to stay civil and respectful if the two of you are interested in continuing this thread. BlogTeam will be watching what goes on here in case we need to intervene again.

  • I sometimes wonder if one of the reasons dovewing left TC, yh ik she went to be with tigerheart/star but was another reason to escape bumblestripe? 😛

    • I think it is, and I think Dovewing was right to leave overall because she felt comfortable and happier in ShadowClan.

  • These points are so solid and how they are displayed ties it all together perfectly! Awesome article, and I definitely agree.

  • Yes! Bumblestripe is terrible! He does nothing but make Dovewing feel bad.
    Lupin is awesome

  • exactly why im neutral on dovewing (well, more of a 65% hate and a 35% ok with her) bumble was so manipulating and clearly made dove uncomfortable, not to mention it was extremely rude to mention children at purdys funeral. just like you said, it was an infatuation. Call me petty, but I haven´t finished tigerhearts shadow but I would love to see bumbles reaction when he learns dovewing and tigerheart. (heck they´re my 6th favorite couple)

    • Thank you !!!! It literally was infatuation, and whatever your opinion on Dovewing, absolutely no one deserves this treatment. I’m glad she managed to get out of that relationship

  • I couldn’t have put it better myself! When I first read warriors, I noticed Bumblestripe’s behavior but I didn’t think about it. Then when I re read the books I developed a powerful hatred for him! Great article!

    • Thank you I’m glad you liked it !!! Bumblestripe sucks but his actions are interesting to analyse

  • Go Maple! Great article! Couriosly Blossomfall and Bumblestripe are douchebags, and Briarlight is fantastic, but she’s the only dead littermate! Seriously, Erin Hunter??

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