Why I Hate and How I Would Rewrite Leafpool’s Wish by Briarpaw

Briarpaw discusses Leafpool’s Wish.

Or rather, I guess, why I’d love to rewrite Leafpool’s Wish.

Leafpool’s Wish starts out at the end of the badger attack. Cinderpelt died, and there are injuries to be taken care of. Leafpool knows she’s pregnant, but she tries to hide it.

Long story short, she and her sister, Squirrelflight, go to the Moonpool, get some advice, give birth, and Squirrelflight takes the Three.

But the writing was so awful.

Yellowfang is a lying hypocrite, Feathertail as well, who tries to pressure Squirrelflight, who’d said no, I won’t take them, and tells her she’s barren to make her take them.

Leafpool’s shown to be whiny too, but I didn’t catch it, but people say she’s whiny anyway, so I guess she was whiny.

All the characters in Leafpool’s Wish was incredibly OOC.
This book convinces people that Leafpool, Yellowfang, and Feathertail were all mean brats who tried to make poor baby Squirrelflight take the kits to ruin her life.

Wait.
This is getting rushed – can you see that in writing? I just saw someone writing on their blog with a quick summary of

[Leaf: Heyo, sis, take my kits! Squirrel: What? That’s against the code! Heck, no! Leaf: Yeah, that’s why I’m going to shove them to you and ruin your life! Squirrel: Told you, sis, no! Yellow: Squirrel, you’re barren. Squirrel: Oh. Um… But… Brambleclaw! He’d be angry. Yellow, Feather, Leaf: Take them! Take them! Take them! And fourteen hours later, still Yellow, Feather, Leaf: Take them! Take them! Squirrel: Ugh, fine. Hey, Ferncloud. You’ve got tons of kits. Want more? Yup, here they are, bye! Ferncloud: Ugh.]

Since I’m a pretty hardcore Leafpool fan, I was so, so angry. I know this isn’t OP’s fault, obviously, but people having this impression of Leafpool, Yellowfang, and Feathertail makes me want to bang my head against a wall. The whole time reading Leafpool’s Wish, I felt so frustrated by everything.

Here are the minor changes I would do if I could rewrite Leafpool’s Wish:

1) Leafpool would tell Squirrelflight hesitantly, and Squirrelflight would worry, and suggest herself taking the kits. Leafpool instead would worry about Brambleclaw, and hesitating, Squirrelflight says Leafpool means much more to her than Brambleclaw.

2) Squirrelflight would be barren for real, and Yellowfang would use this card as her last hope. Or Yellowfang never tells this stupid lie and Squirrelflight would take the kits like Number One.

3) Leafpool would not snap so foolishly at Crowfeather. Why did she snap at Crowfeather? She acts like… I don’t know, so weird. She should still be hesitant, and Crowfeather could’ve explained the Nightcloud situation. They would’ve just parted nicely, and Leafpool trying to tell Crowfeather about Jay, Lion, and Holly before Crowfeather gets called by his patrol.

4) Spottedleaf would not call Leafpool foolish. Now, sweetheart, you told Leafpool to go. You shouldn’t call her foolish for an action driven by you. Of course, this is another reason to hate Spottedleaf, but this so angers me and this was put for no reason.

5) Squirrelflight and Leafpool would leave earlier, since by the time Leafpool left, she would’ve been humongous. But this doesn’t need to be necessary.

6) This was something that was made for no reason. Warning, this sounds obnoxious XD
I wish ‘kits’ wouldn’t be called ‘babies’, because it… sounds wrong? Told you it sounds ridiculous. But honestly, the novellas call kits babies and it bugs me. It felt really odd.

But I didn’t just hate Leafpool’s Wish. There were some parts I adored.

1) Leafpool and Jaykit’s relationship was cute. Leafpool believed in Jaykit and it was so, so lovely.

2) Hollykit’s personality and overall the siblings’ relationships. Hollykit was so likable and cute in this one, probably because she’s so tiny and cute, but her volunteering to help Leafpool with a leaf and her and Lionkit taking care of Jaykit was so adorable.

3) The short scene of Leafpool and Crowfeather. That scene was just so heartwarming and sweet. And this was me, trying to think of warm expressions I hadn’t used yet.

In general, Leafpool’s Wish’s quality was downhill for me, and the characters were all extremely OOC. Yellowfang in particular. This ruins her so much.

Okay. I’ll really wrap it up.
The reason I hate Leafpool’s Wish is because every character was OOC, and it portrays many characters in bad light. Just… OOC. Leafpool’s emotions are so messy, Yellowfang turned into a liar and a hypocrite, etc.

They seem selfish and mean, seeing how they pressured Squirrelflight when she’d already declined multiple times.

There are logical issues, like the ThunderClan not putting two and two together, how they believed the “special herb” or “Squirrelflight’s pregnancy”.

The book hurt Squirrelflight and Leafpool’s sisterly relationship, which was great, and that Leafpool’s litter are able to walk and talk in a few days, while in the main series they only crawl and stuff.

All things quoted in OotS about Squirrelflight doing in for her sister is ruined because in LW, it’s clear Leafpool and StarClan made her take the kits.

Firestar was so dumb like in OotS, believing Ivypaw’s ridiculous dream. Did he swallow something bad? He and the Clan believes that Leaf and Squirrel will go on a quest for a moon for a single herb. Fits in perfectly.

There are annoying inconsistencies, like Spiderleg apparently fathering Hazelkit, Berrykit, and Mousekit, and Squirrelflight having amber eyes. The timeline is messed up as well.
Leafpool had interacted with several queens in this book, at least three, with Daisy, Ferncloud, and Sorreltail, and Sandstorm too, but none notices that she’s expecting.

Plus, holly bark isn’t black. I hate how people shame on Leafpool for feeling disappointed she can’t name her kits. Yeah, she did, but people can have selfish thoughts in their lives, please. Crowkit would give it away, but still. I’ve always thought of covering the name up with naming Lionblaze Tawnykit and Jayfeather Featherkit or something. Featherfeather! Oh, Stormkit.

I’d always thought about making an article of this topic, but I never found the time. This is really messy, I think I’ll edit in in the morning.

Thanks for reading!