My Issues with Forbidden Relationships by Flamecloud

Flamecloud explains why they dislike forbidden relationships

Hello all and thank you for taking the time to read this article!

Now, if you know me, you know this is a very Flamecloudy article just by the title 😛 if I’m being honest, I am most certainly, undeniably, terribly biased here.

I want to make this clear before we start: I’m not judging you if you like romance. I’m not judging you if you enjoy the drama. I’m not judging you if these are your favorite ships. I’m glad you can appreciate what has me ranting and complaining about, I’d much rather ship a ship than hate it, so honestly I envy you 😛 Hopefully, even if you disagree, you can find this article interesting and enjoyable to read, and maybe understand some of my points.

As a person in general, I don’t particularly enjoy romance. The ships I actually like are few and far between, while the list of ships I could do without is a mile long.

It’s not just warrior cat specific, it can be applied to almost every fandom. I just don’t like most romance. I especially dislike romance related drama.

Therefore, forbidden relationships in warrior cats holds a special place on my hate list. After all, what could cause more drama than two cats who fall in love even though they absolutely can’t be together?

And, in reality, they really can’t be together.

To begin, it’s against the warrior code. Mostly. The poor, poor warrior code probably has permanent indents from how many times this particular rule has been stomped upon, but in reality there is no place where the warrior code specifically says cats can’t have a mate outside of their clan. (Medicine cats have their own rule, but that’s not in the code itself.)

What it actually says is this: Defend your Clan, even with your life. You may have friendships with cats from other Clans, but your loyalty must remain to your Clan, as one day you may meet them in battle.

Also applicable: Boundaries must be checked and marked daily. Challenge all trespassing cats.

Theoretically, if the cats could find a neutral spot to meet without crossing clan boundaries and maintain a relationship without allowing it to come into conflict with their loyalty to their clans, it could be permitted. I would actually not mind this, because a more casual relationship would avoid most of the conflict, but when the warrior cats fall in love they fall hard.

It’s been shown over and over again that it’s not possible for a cat to be loyal to their clan and also a mate in a different one. Ryewhisker and Cloudberry, Graystripe and Silverstream, Crowfeather and Leafpool, and Tigerstar and Dovewing are all examples of where romance came first. In other cases, loyalty comes first, and the romance comes to an end. There is no balance.

Is this rule worth having? Personally, I think the answer is no, not because it’s a bad rule but because it’s been broken over and over and over again. The rule itself, though, isn’t bad when you consider what this series is about. Without the rule, people would find mates in the other clans more often. At first, this would cause the usual heartbreak and drama, which is in and of itself a reason for the rule. Eventually, however, it would probably lead to more peace. Now, peace is good. But an integral part of warrior cat culture is violence and clan sovereignty.

That doesn’t mean the clans couldn’t change. Maybe in time they’d become one giant, peaceful clan. But, in truth, wouldn’t the plot you stuck around for through the arcs be largely destroyed? There would be no fighting between clans. Any threats would be easily nullified by one huge, united clan. And, of course, forbidden romances would become a non-existent phenomenon. To live in, that’s a lovely world. To read, that’s a boring world. The removal of the rule would end the series, or at least drastically change it. I think it could be an interesting twist, but it could also kill the series if not executed properly.

However, the situation could vary depending on what clan the cats are in. With the forest territories, where the clans were all connected at Fourtrees, any clan could attack any clan. But, in the lake territories, it simply isn’t plausible. Shadowclan can attack Skyclan and Riverclan, Skyclan can attack Shadowclan and Thunderclan, and so on, but Shadowclan can not attack Windclan without going through Riverclan. So, if they were willing to deal with having to walk through a whole clan’s worth of territory to reach each other, two cats from a different clan could meet without having to worry about meeting on a battlefield.

But, does this actually happen? No. Not yet, anyway. The main reason is because the clans haven’t been at the lake territory for all that long, and forbidden romances are only somewhat common. Plus, wouldn’t it be soooo boring? (No, actually, this could be a situation I might enjoy reading.) However, another reason is that, well, it’s kind of hard to form a solid relationship with a whole clan in between you.

Which leads into another point: forbidden romances tend to be rushed. Firestar and Spottedleaf hardly spoke, but when Spottedleaf died Firestar acted as if he’d lost his true love. Likewise, Bluestar and Oakheart exchange a couple conversations, a few tense glances, and spend one night together. This can be reapplied to most of the others as well, with a few conversations over a short period of time and suddenly they’re absolutely head over heels for each other.

I have nothing against brief relationships. Sometimes, more often than not, actually, things don’t work out or the people involved just aren’t looking for a serious commitment. That’s fine. What irks me about warriors is that these brief relationships get treated like they were lengthy and serious, and that these cats who have spoken about twenty words to each other are actually deeply in love.

I just don’t find that believable, and as a result I struggle to feel for the ensuing angst. It doesn’t give me time to be invested. Bluestar and Oakheart are technically mates, but if they were humans, they wouldn’t be married. They would be people who went on one date. They’re almost as bad as Romeo and Juliet’s 24 hour mess. I can’t imagine forging a decent friendship in that time, let alone deciding I’ve met the love of my life.

Why are they so rushed, you ask? Well, my friend, because they’re forbidden. It’s difficult to create an in-depth relationship when the cats aren’t allowed to talk to each other. Their interactions are limited to eye contact, gathering chats, exchanges at the border, and late night meet ups. There’s only so much development you can fit into that.

Essentially, forbidden relationships are not a good set up for a good relationship arc. They will almost always be brief, and they are almost always cut short.

Let’s focus on that last bit. They always cut short.

Always. *

(*ignores TigerDove momentarily because that always looks fancy like that)

Forbidden relationships, in addition to moving to fast, end as quickly as they begin. They either break up, decide they can’t be together, someone dies, or a combination of the three. This tends to happen around the time that the she-cat gets pregnant, either shortly before the secret is out or directly after. It usually leaves someone stuck with kits. Only in the case of TigerDove do they actually keep their relationship intact with no one dying.

Bottom line: it rarely ends well, and almost never ends with them together.

Micah and Moth Flight: Micah dies, leaving Moth Flight to raise her kits

Ryewhisker and Cloudberry: Ryewhisker dies, leaving Cloudberry to raise her kits

Appledusk and Mapleshade: Mapleshade is pregnant, tries to hide the kit’s origins, is discovered and exiled, her kits die, turns out her mate is cheating on her, and she kills him then dies.

Hal and Featherstorm: Featherstorm raises her kits alone, Hal is out of the picture until he reappears in time to be a jerk and then die.

Reedfeather and Fallowtail: Fallowtail raises her kits alone until Reedfeather decides he wants them and they spend some time playing capture the kit. Eventually, it goes back to Fallowtail raising her kits on her own.

Yellowfang and Raggedstar: they break up, Yellowfang’s pregnant. They hide her involvement in Brokenkit’s creation, and Raggedstar raises him as his sole biological parent. Raggedstar later dies.

Oakheart and Bluestar: meet for one night, Bluestar gets pregnant. She declines Oakheart’s proposition of keeping their family together, raises the kits with Thrushpelt, gives the kits back, and Graypool raises them. Oakheart later dies.

Firestar and Spottedleaf: Spottedleaf dies, hangs around in his dreams, then becomes double dead right before Firestar dies.

Graystripe and Silverstream: Silverstream dies, leaving Graystripe to raise the kits alone.

Tigerstar and Sasha: They break up, and Tigerstar dies. Sasha raises the kits alone.

Crowfeather and Feathertail: Feathertail dies while epically stabbing a mountain lion with a giant rock

Crowfeather and Leafpool: They decide they can’t be together, Leafpool turns out to be pregnant. She gives her kits to her sister and brother in law.

Jayfeather and Half Moon: unfortunately had a couple decades in between their existences, they can’t be together.

Alderheart and Velvet: they decide they can’t be together

Onestar and Smoke: Smoke gets pregnant, and Onestar ends their relationship. Smoke raises her kits alone, and one of them later comes back and murders some people.

The only exception I could find was Tigerheart and Dovewing. While I find Dovewing infuriating, I have to give them this: they managed to stay together and stay alive. And, okay, they actually talk to each other more than three times. Congrats. I still hate it because it finds plenty of room to be melodramatic even if no one dies and it ends well.

So what exactly does this tell us about forbidden relationships? Well, most of the time they simply don’t work. They break up, realize they’re not going to work, or die. I think the reason that so many of them die is because A.) death’s dramatic, and B.) the forbidden relationships wouldn’t be nearly as interesting if everyone did something like TigerDove. The forbiddenness is what makes them interesting. Happy endings don’t have the same allure.

Allas, this creates a pretty repetitive relationship outline:

Speedy Insta love: pretty face, rules in the way, let’s meet up in the middle of the night! And now we’re married!

Melodramatic Angst: We can’t be together, but we gotta be together!

Kits: Oh shoot, I guess that’s the end of the secret!

Tragic Ending: Buy one get one free! Includes death, break ups, and sometimes murder!

Post Ending Angst: Even though we knew each other for a month, my heart has been torn in two. I will think of you to the end of time.

Sound about right? Sure, some couples skip some steps, but you get the drift. Forbidden relationships aren’t a set up that works, and the authors like it that way. Personally, I find this really, really annoying, because it always turns out the same.

It’s….*drumroll*….cliché!

Rushed preparation, widely produced, and bad for you? Forbidden romances are the fast food of the romance world.

Personally, I greatly prefer to read about families, friendships, and mentor/apprentice type relationships. They can be gentle and supportive, filled with sweet moments and caring, but can also have complexities that make them interesting. Or, even a healthy, well developed romance where people are happy.

Where are my stories where littermates help support each other through trying times? Where are my older siblings trying to set a good example for their younger siblings? Where are my new parents trying to figure out how to raise a kid? Where are my best friends who are basically family? My adopted families forming connections that aren’t through blood? The mentors trying to guide an apprentice into a decent cat? The partnership between deputy and leader as they struggle to keep a clan safe? A grandparent watching their own kits have kits?

Of course, these stories do exist in warriors, but they are often sidelined. They are a component, but they are not the stars of the show. Romance tends to come first.

These are the stories I wish I was seeing when I read those first telltale hints of longing for some handsome stranger that can’t be had. I know they are possible. They can work just as well. These are the stories that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, the ones that get me invested, the ones who leave me wanting more instead of making me think “Great. Here we go again.”

Because, of course, we have to have the drama drama drama, and it’s just too tricky to try and make something more original interesting. Once cats become an official couple and figure out their issues, it’s about time for them to get sidelined so that a new character can step up and fall in love. The romance has to be fresh, because once the drama’s gone it’s as useful as rotted fruit.

It’s not just a warriors thing, it’s a literature thing. There are exceptions, of course. Some books do quite well on actually having family be a thing. Warriors fits that too, sometimes. I love Graywing and his adopted kits, the sibling moments between the original three. I just get tired of seeing the same relationship happen again and again.

I guess my main question here is this: Why does something have to be forbidden to be desired?