Having an existential crisis after reading warriors by Amberpaw

Amberpaw lists questions they had after reading some books.

Warrior Cats don’t have showers. Which is probably a good thing, because the Erin Hunters don’t have to think of any weird existential thoughts to keep poor Squirrelflight up at night. The Clans don’t have to deal with shower thoughts, but I’m cruel, so hello, I’m Amberpaw, and today I’m gifting to you my existential crisis I have to deal with from reading Warrior Cats. Merry Christmas.
(Er, Amberpaw, it’s May. Mod edit: Actually, it’s June!)

Why do Medicine Cats not call herbs medicine? They call their Cats Medicine Cats, so why not call their cures Medicine Herbs?
Speaking of Medicine, why do the Clans have such a long name for the Medicine Cat den? By the time a cat says “You need to go to the Medicine Cat den” the cat will already died from its wounds! Just call it the Herb House at this point.
How the Warrior Cat do you pronounce Macgyver’s name?
Who named Egg Egg? And why? Is he bald?
When will Warriors collab with Squishmallows?
Why didn’t all the SkyClan apprentices run away to ThunderClan with Finpaw and Twigpaw? They know how bad Leafstar is at naming Warriors. Harrybrook. Bouncefire! Seriously! The poor cats.
Why do people defend Mapleshade but not Breezepelt? Guys, Breezepelt had a redemption arc. Mapleshade went on a mass murdering spree.
Why did SkyClan get to claim the only mediator? Other Clans have arguments too!
On that topic, how long until “Mediators can’t have kits because they’ll be distracted blah-blah-blah” come into place in the Warrior code?
Why don’t they make Greystripe the official Warrior-cat-name-giver-outer? Sparkfire is so much better than Sparkpelt.
What did Clear Sky actually do to make up for his mistakes?
Should Thunder and WindClan mark the tunnel border alongside their patrols?
Why does Twigbranch love Finleap? That guy’s creepy!
Why is every cat related to Firestar? At this point there should be some sort of problem with their DNA.
Why was Silverstream at sunningrocks? She could’ve survived if it weren’t for the fact that she LEFTHERCLANTOGIVEBIRTH.
Who actually realised that Spottedfire was even a thing until AFTER Spottedleaf died?
Why is every kit the exact same?
Why doesn’t Thornclaw take a day of?
Why do cats get so grossed out by FRESH rat meat, and yet happily take week-old scraps of chicken from bins?
Why does RiverClan still say that the prey is running well blah-blah-blah at gatherings? The only food that they eat is fish!
Why don’t the other Clans fish? They have access to the lake, a fine source of prey and yet they still complain that they’re hungry.
Why hasn’t the lake ever frozen?
What if a cat wants to be vegetarian?
Why don’t cats have fun? Sure, there was the daytime gathering, but still only the apprentices actually do fun stuff. The warriors just watched and bickered about which apprentice won the fighting competition!
Why is it a crime to sleep in?
What would they watch if they had youtube?
What happened to the Blazing Star? Is it still in ShadowClan territory?
Where are twolegs when there’s a fire?
Why is Clear Sky called Clear Sky? Like, he’s grey isn’t he? So wouldn’t that make him Cloudy Sky?

So there you have it. Having an existential crisis after reading Warriors. I’ll probably, no- definitely, make a part two to this. But I hope you enjoyed this. And Dovewing should be grateful that she doesn’t have to take a shower.

Amberpaw, out.