The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
“I miSs wRiTinG LikE tHiS,” Silvy sighed sadly.
“oH, a nEw pAge!” Silvy said, “Now we can have a fresh start, without burning baguettes, stealing cookies, growing large noses and throwing stuff into the fire!”
“YaYYYyyIeeeeYiPpEEEE!!!!!!!!” Coldie laughs.
“Or the Viper gods chasing us down,” Silvy sat down thoughtfully on a small wooden chair.
Lil smiled at her. “This will be fun, a fresh start,” she said happily, sitting on the floor next to Silvy.
Springkit, scheming in the corner, gives a mischievous smile. ¨If you think that the great springkit will allow this page to go un-chaosed, your wrong muahahaha >:D´´
“What do you mean?” Silvy frowned, “All of us wants chaos, right?”
“Normal life.” Coldie nods.
“Me ToO.” Coldie agrees.
“Hello.” Rabbitflame bounces into the Hazelpage holding some math homework. “Anyone want to finish this for me?”
Viperfrost hisses, turning away. “I told you I’m allergic to homework!”
“I can do it for you!” Silvy smiled.
“Ooh, can I help?” Sparkpaw asks, giving Silvy a delighted look.
“Of course!” Silvy looked happily at Sparkpaw.
(Shreds homework) “I hate homework”, Featherclaw mutters.
¨So do I!¨ Tigershine agrees.
Plumspots gives them a hard stare. “Homework teaches people to manege your time well and also helps people learn. I don’t know why people hate it” She says.
“Ah yes, wise words,” Silvy said as she clapped slowly in approval.
“HOW dArE YoU eVeN ASk mE.” Coldie growls.
“Epon!”
“Epon? What’s that?”
“!sdrawkcab ti daeR”
.dias yvliS kO“
“.trams os eb I” syas emalftibbaR
Read it backwards!
Springkit cackles. ¨MUAHAHAHAAHA I HAVE MADE A MACHINE TO FINISH ALL YOUR HOMEWORK! but the catch is, whoever can steal mycookie and win the contest will win it!Bewear though, for i am armed with vipers arson power, Silvys hynotising Banana Power, and a flamethrower and a rocketthrower stolenfrom Topazkit!¨
“I can do my own homework,” Silvy shrugged.
……………. Silence. Then suddenly…………….. “GIVE IT TO ME!!!!!!!!!” Coldie leaps up from where she sat and tries to take the machine from Springkit.
Silvy watched the commotion with wide and excited eyes, grabbing a packet of cookies and ripping it open.
Minktail gets to feyr paws, marching over to Springkit.
“As self-proclaimed Blog mom, I hereby revoke your flamethrower and rocketthrower. You can keep the arson and the hypnotizing bananas, but no more weapons on the Hazelpage. That goes for the rest of you, too,” she adds, narrowing her eyes at the rest of the BlogClanners who they have also adopted. “Now, drink something and have a snack before the chaos continues. I brought Capri Suns!”
“Awww, you’re no fun!” Silvy complained, “This is what makes the Hazelpage! I was looking forward to eating my cookies while watching the chaos.”
Then, after a moment of hesitation, she karate kicked Minktail then forced a purple potion into Minktail’s throat, causing the self proclaimed blog mom into a deep sleep. “No moms allowed!” Silvy announced, “The Hazelpage defines “chaos” and I won’t have nay adults ruining the fun!”
(No offense to you in anyway, this is just a joke 💜)
Silvy casually picked up one of the Capri Suns and started drinking it, along with her purple cookies.
She slumped to the ground in a deep sleep. Suddenly, fey lifted their head, confused.
“Wait- didn’t you say that those cookies were cursed?” Fey ask, raising an eyebrow. “Also, that hurt. You have a seriously powerful kick.” They then fall back into Silvy’s potion-induced sleep.
“Not anymore,” Silvy replied brightly, to the sleeping Mintail, “That was last page. The cookies are fine now. Besides, they’re “purple” cookies.”
Sparkpaw marches back inside of the Hazelpage carrying a bucketful of snow. “Should I wake Minktail up?” she asks.
“Nooooo,” Silvy pouted, “She’ll ruin all the fun!”
“I resent that,” she murmurs sleepily.
“Well, okay, sure, uh, here’s the snow bucket. You can do the compromising stuff,” Sparkpaw says, turning back outside. “I’ll get more snow buckets, since you can never have too much snow, right? Oh, LETS FILL THE HAZELPAGE WITH SNOW! IT’LL BE FUN!!”
“GOOD IDEA!” Silvy said brightly as she accidentally spilled the snow over Minktail’s head, waking her up,
“Yaaaaay,” Sparkpaw says excitedly, dumping the contents of two buckets onto the floor and sending snow flying everywhere.
“Wait a sec,” Silvy muttered as she dug through her massive collection of potions, “I think I might have a snowing potion somewhere. “Ahhh here it is!” Silvy pulled out a yellowish greenish looking potion, “All you have to do is throw it in the sky and the whole place will be filled with snow forever! Well at least for this page. The snow will disappear in the next page.” Silvy yeeted the potion into the air, making the potion shatter in a thousand little pieces. For a moment, nothing happened until all of a sudden, snow started forming across the floor, getting higher and higher each second,
“NOOOOOOOOOO!” yowled Silver angrily. She pulled a large vial out of the air beside her. “This is my magic potion to fix the snow so it doesn’t fill the Hazelpage!” She tossed the vial into the air high above Silvy’s reach. With a wave of Silver’s tail, the contents undid the spell and the cold and wet cats were dried.
“Woah! Everyone, CALM IT!” yowls Silver. A few cats mutter about how yowling isn’t very calm, but Silver ignores them. “There is a fireplace in here! If you put snow near a fire, it melts! If you put snow in here, we will have a very wet Hazelpage!” A few cats murmur agreement.
Springkit sighs, and proceedsto hypnotise Coldheart into giving her the homework machine.
“I said the person who stole my COOKIE could have it! That means cookie, not machine!” as she throws the machine into the portal that only allows SPRINGKIT to access.
“No that won’t do,” Silvy shook her head in disapproval, “No more portals!” She snapped her claws/fingers and the portal suddenly disapeared, leaving the machine vulnerable.
“Meh. I can do my own homework. That seems like a lot of work,” squawked Raven as Furze Bounce yoinked Springkit’s cookie.
“Ahhh, finally someone who realises it’s easier to just do homework than do all this complicated cookie stealing business,” Silvy smiled, “C’mon, join me snd let’s watch Coldie and Springkit fight for that homework machine.”
*viper steals cookies and runs*
“That’s not very nice,” Silvy frowned, “I had enough trouble trying to take back my cookies last page and I don’t need cats stealing them from me again.” Silvy sighed, “I’ll forgive you this time, but next time, I won’t be so kind.” She waggled a finger at Vip Vip. “At least these cookies doesn’t have a spell that gives cats large noses.”
“And don’t think I’ll go easy on you just because you’re a mod,” Silvy lowered her voice to Vip Vip, who was already running away with her purple cookie. Then, taking a deep breathe, she took her sonic shoes from the last page and chased after Vip Vip.
“NOOOO!” Vip howled, clutching her porble cookie and racing around the building. “It’s mINEEEEE!!”
“Porble?” Silvy asked, confused. “Oh you mean purple,” Silvy mewed. She raced after Viper again, then heroically leaped up into the sky in attempt to land of Vip Vip.
Vip howled sadly as xe was squished into the ground. “The cookie is MINEEEEEEEEE i tell you, mine!!”
Silvy took one look at the sad Vip Vip, and started to feel sorry for xem. “You can have five cookies!” Silvy cried, handing them over to Vip.
“AHHH YAY!!” Vip said, before promptly bursting into tears of joy.
Silvy threw a sack of a hundred purple cookies to Vip Vip then slowly walked away in satisfaction.
on*
Why did I read porble in a NY accentbecause yespoiblePURBLEPURBLE PLACEOMG PURBLE PLACEI HAVE JUST BEEN TRANSPORTED BACK TO 2010 ON THE FAMILY DESKTOP COMPUTER PLAYING PURBLE PLACE FOR HOURS“Btw I have cookies,” Silvy squeaked.
“Can I have one?” Poppy asks quietly,jumping down from the chair she was sitting in.
“Of course!”
Raven’s OC Furze Bounce yeets out of a portal and tries to snatch one of the cookies. Raven does absolutely nothing to stop it.
“ENOUGH OF THE PORTALS!” Silvy bellowed. She snapped her claws/fingers and suddenly, the portal along with Furze Bounce disapeared.
“You can never have enough wormhole portals,” smirked Raven.
Tigershine screams ¨YEET!¨ at Furze Bounce. She likes the word.
“YEET YEET YEET YEET” Silvy screamed, as she handed Tigershine one hundred purple cookies.
Tigershine tried and failed to come up with a creative way to say thank you while yeeting.
Yeet yeet yeetyeetyeetyeetyeetyeetyeet yeet yeetyeet yeet yeet yeetyeet yeet. yeet yeet. yeet yeet yeet yeet
YEET
“May I have one?” Cinda asked quietly, looking up from her art.
”Homework’s simple,” Cinda says flatly,” It’s just a couple of questions.”
Silvy handed Cinda more purple cookies.
Aquila sat down at a table and wondered how to make a summoning Maple ritual. Her pen tapped against the wood in the master’s drum beat as she thought that Aelin and Redblaze would be good at planning this…
“you need three donuts, a magic wand, a black hat, and a deck of playing cards
and a flamethrower, cant forget that! C:” Viper said, glancing at a mysterious cauldron.
“Why thank you, mysterious Viper!” Aquila smiles, wondering how on earth she was going to get all those ingredients, “You wouldn’t happen to have a spare flamethrower by any chance?”
Viper randomly produced a hefty flamethrower, seemingly from thin air. “Why, yes, I do!” she exclaimed. “Cursed? No, it’s not cursed, I promise!”
“It’s cursed,” Silvy said promptly as she touched the flamethrower.
Suspenseful music played and Viper smiled sinisterly as all the lights went out for a moment, then flickered back on. “Nope! Not cursed at all! You take it!” she said, punting the flamethrower into Silvy’s arms before dashing away and out the door.
“Oh thank you!” Silvy cried as Viper ran away. The flamethrower threatened to explode as it burst into flames, singing some of Silvy’s fur off as she hurried to somewhere.
Tigershine appears and steals the flamethrower. It causes Scourge to appear. ¨Yep it´s cursed. Now run¨
You can’t forget three cursed cookies, an octopus, an italian baguette and a random purple potion!” Silvy added, shaking her head.
“Exactly!!” Viper said, producing three porble cookies.
“Ahhh yes. Three cursed porble cookies. Just what we need for the ritual,” Silvy meowed.
Redblaze materialises from out of the void.
“Who hath summoned me?” she meows
“T’was me of course!!!” Aquila chuckles, “Now do you think you can write a summoning ritual?”
Redblaze frowns.
“There’s a first time for everything!” she yells excitedly, dipping her claws into a pot of ink and scribbling over a piece of paper
“REVENGE REVENGE REVENE!!!” Silvy shrieked.
Ravenfrost burst in.
¨Wait, why am I here? I´m not even real,¨ she said.
Tigershine burst in.
¨Because I summoned you to the living!¨ she yowled.
¨Wait, you can do that?¨
¨No, but Elizabeth can!¨ Tigershine opened her hand to unveil a small lego she-cat with glowing blue eyes.
¨Hello.¨ said Elizabeth.
Ravenfrost´s eyes widened. ¨Wait, you can talk?¨
¨Yes. I can. Now if you´l excuse me… I´m leaving.¨
Elizabeth disappeared.
¨Wait! Elizabeth, come back!¨ Tigershine yowled. Several cats gave her funny looks.
She turned to Ravenfrost. ¨Welp… I guess you´re stuck here now…¨
A cat exactly the same as Ravenfrost, except with yellow-green eyes, trotted in.
¨Wait… what?¨ Ravenfrost said, confused. ¨There are two of me?¨
¨No, silly! This is Stormblaze. Say hello, Stormi! She´s my cat. You´re based off her. You may notice, the only thing you don´t share is the river-blue eyes and level of fighting skills. Sorry Stormfloof, but Ravenfrost fights better than you.¨
Stormi purred.
Ravenfrost fainted.
Stormi purred more.
¨Aw, my little lovebug!¨ Tigershine said, smiling and petting Stormstormstormstorm with her tail.
¨Uhhhhhhh…….¨ said someone in the corner.
“Huh, so you found a way to summon the wormhole portals.”
“May I have a drink? Arizona Sweet Tea, shaken, not stirred.” Falconstorm meowed to the nearest moddo, a dark gray feline with bright, electric cyan eyes.
¨I would also like tea!¨ Tigershine calls.
¨Wait, aren´t you too young for tea?¨ Ravenfrost asks.
Tigershine turns to her, a very somber expression on her face. ¨Listen, this is the BlogClan Hazelpage. There are no limits on tea ages.¨
“Ahhhh wise words.”
“Hmmm, sounds too complicated for me,” Silvy shrugged, giving Falcon a purple cookie instead.
“Thank ya for this poible cookie!” Captain meows.
“No problem,” Silvy mewed distractedly.
Shimmer sits proudly behind a small shop with a sign that reads, “Free ‘Books'”.
Tigershine is confused on what a shop is (an actual shop, or an online term?) but takes a book anyway. It´s that one book she needs in the warrior cats series that´s next. She doesn´t know what it´s called. It´s A Vision Of Shadows 2 in her mind.
Then the book screams. She immediatly pulls Ravenfrost out of the air to deal with it and casually walks away. Ravenfrost won.
Thunder and Shadow? I’m on that exact same book 😛
Dove runs up to them. “hElLo eArThLiNg”
“Oooooh!” squeals Silver as she hops over. “What do you have?! What do you have?! I love books!” She stares harder at the sign. “Wait…,” she mews. “Is there a difference between books and ‘books‘?” she asks suspiciously.
Viper smiles ominously, holding a crate labelled books. The crate makes a snarling sound, which ae covers up with a cough. “No difference at all!”
“Umm… no snarling books please, thanks,” Sparkpaw says, backing away. “What is in there?”
Viper says nothing, though she covers the crate with a blanket. The blanket has been torn to shreds already, and looks as though it’s been used many times by whatever lives in the crate. Viper smiles sinisterly.
“Ummmmmm…” mews Silver. “I think I’ll stick to the library…” Silver runs away to the corner to listen to Aru Shah and the Song of Death in her headphones.
“Oh are they cursed books?” Silvy asked brightly, “I really want them now.”
“Hmm, I can’t seem to remember.” Shimmer says, hiding a sign of some sort behind her back.
“Ohhhhhhh, what’s that behind your back?” Silvy asked, leaning closer.
“Hand over the sign, Shimmer!” growled Silver. “I need to know if they are cursed! Books are some of my favorite things!” Someone suddenly started humming “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music. “Ugh… Now I’ll have that song stuck in my head all day!” she wailed.
“GIMME”
“GIMME THOSE “BOOKS” RIGHT NOW”
“Be polite!” hissed Silver.
Dove sat down in a chair. “Who wants corn?” She asked, picking up random cobs of corn from no where. “I hAvE lOtS oF iT”
“Hey!” Silvy protested, “What about cookies? Cookies are much more better!”
Dove pouts. “Nu! Have corn” Throws corn everywhere”
Tigershine pulls a corn ear from her ear where it had somehow gotten lodged. ¨Mmph!¨ she calls as she digs in. ¨Tastes like corn. I wonder why.¨
Ravenfrost gives her a weird look.
“Woah,” mews Silver. “Everycat just calm down now!” She catches a cob of corn in her mouth. “Hmm…,” she mumbles around it, “I did want corn on the cob.” She trots over to the door that leads to the kitchen. “Hello? Can you cook this for me?”
¨YeS cOrN pLeAsE¨ says Tigershine
*Gives corn*
“I’ll only eat your corn if it’s porble, purple or cursed,” Silvy said stubbornly, chomping on an ice cube.
“Chomping ice cubes huts your teeth!” scolds Silver. She snatches her container of ice cubes out of her paws.
“SQUERBLE! why is this called the hazelpage? its more of a chaos page. IVE BEEN EATING AIR MY WHOLE LIFE IM SORRY I KNOW IM ON A DIET” Scorchie drops to the floor and starts crying and then throws a potato at Viper and Springkit “You can fight over my super legendary apple potato i wont need it. THE POLICE ARE COMING FOR ME! IM AN AIR EATER! AHHHHHHHHHHHH” does circles on the floor and someone throws a wine bottle at me “NO ALCOHOL!”
“Chaospage, good name,” Silvy muttered, edging closer to the legendary apple potato. Then, out of the blue she snatched the legendary fruit thing and started running away with her sonic shoes, throwing cursed potions behind her.
¨Ummm…… should we be worried about this?¨ says Tigershine, examining a cursed potion.
Why squerble to you too.
Flame stumbles sleepily into the Hazelpage, rubbing at her eyes. “Who ever thought it would be a good idea to start a Thrushpelt fanfic at 12 o clock last night had bees in their brain,” they mumbled, then paused. “Oh wait, that was me.”
She glanced around the Hazelpage, noting that chaos, as usual, appeared to be present in large quantities.
“Those bees in your brain are bees of creativity!” Cheetah shouted. “Be thankful for them!”
“The best ideas are created when you’re sleepy,” Silvy informed everyone, “Especially at midnight.”
“Wait,” Silvy mewed suddenly, “Since when did 12 o’clock at “night” exist?”
“If you must sleep though,” mews Silver, “feel free to do so on those comfy pillows over there!” She waves her tail toward the reading fort she had made in the corner. “I made it for reading, but if you are in need, you may use it!” Flame dashes over to the fort and ducks inside.
“Ooh, cozy!” she mews sticking her head back out. “It is like magically 10 times bigger than the outside in here!”
“Yes,” meowed Silver happily, “It took forever to make, but I finally finished all of the guest bedrooms!”
¨Uh guys? Is it just me or is the Hazelpage moving?¨ Tigershine asks.
The Hazelpage has sprouted chicken legs and is running. Purple cookie crumbs and cats fly everywhere.
¨Uhhhhhhhh…. this doesn´t seem right…¨ says Ravenfrost.
¨Yes.¨ replies Tigershine. ¨But this is the Hazelpage. Nothing is ever right here. It is only upside down and backwords front. So this is normal.¨
¨We´re literally in a walking chicken cottage, Tigershine.¨ says Stormblaze.
¨Wait, you can talk?!¨ exclaim the other two. Up until this point, Stormblaze has never spoken.
¨Yes, I can talk, and I think you are both lame.¨
¨Uhh, well, thanks, me-clone, I guess?¨ Ravenfrost says.
¨Technically, you are my clone.¨ Says Stormblaze. ¨Also, my name is not Raven, or Squirrelbird, Or Stormi, or whatever you call me. I refuse to be called anything other than Chixklovana.¨
¨Well, I guess I´m Raven? I like my rogue name better….¨ replies Ravenfrost.
¨Hold up, stop the train. What are we even talking about again?¨ says Tigershine.
Cinda sat behind a cafe counter with a sign saying ‘FrEe BuRrItOs!’
“That’s illegal!” Cheetah pointed her finger accusingly at Cinda. “You need a license to give away free food here.”
“No we don’t!” Silvy protested, “Free burritos are always welcome! Here have a porble cookie!”
Cheetah took the cookie and happily munched.
¨You do??¨ Tigershine asked. ¨And are they magic burritos?¨
“Depends on what Cinda put in them…”
“I agree!” yowled Silver. “Didn’t anyone tell you that food here is 12 pixels unless you have a license!?” She stalked over to her mansion-fort in the corner.
“If you need to get a license,” Silver growled, “this… is… the… cat… to… talk… to!” she exclaimed, dragging a cat out by their tail.
“I will NOT give a license to some stand on the street, Silver!” exclaimed the cat angrily.
“Yes, you will!” Silver hissed, sitting on his tail. “I’m staying here until you do!”
“Fine, fine,” sighed the cat, turning around, “What are you giving— Ooh burritos!” he produced a piece of paper from thin air and scribbled furiously with a pen from a nearby table. “Here is your permission! Now! 100 burritos, please!”
Cinda handed over the burritos and snatched the paper. “Yay! Now I can have an official burrito stand!” she mewed, giddily.
Cheetah frowned but sighed. “I can’t argue with the legality of burritos.”
sunnie quietly padded up to cinda’s burrito counter.
“may i pls have a buwwito?” sunnie makes her puppy dog (kitty cat?) eyes at cinda because she wants a burrito.
(
KITTY CAT EYES YES)“Hello, cats of the Hazelpage!” cried Silver from on top of a tall stool. “I have built us an extension to the Hazelpage!” she waved her tail toward a large fort-like structure in the corner. It was made of pillows blankets and unused chairs.
“You may scoff– you know what? I’m done with the fancy language! Anyway, I used my special magic to make it a 20 bedroom mansion!” Silver yowled. “It even has a pool!”
“You’re lying!” shouted one cat.
“Yeah!” yowled another.
“Go and see for yourselves if you must!” she meowed. Several cats pushed through the entrance of the fort/mansion.
Silver dashed through after them to see their reactions to her creation. The cats that had entered were staring around at the soaring pillow/blanket/stool walls in awe.
One cat played in the fountain in the center of the entrance hall.
Silver yowled to get their attention. “You can find maps over there!” she pointed toward a stack in the corner. “DON’T GET THEM WET!” she hissed at the cat who had been splashing in the fountain.
It had taken her forever to map out the whole place, but she had figured cats would get lost if she didn’t. “If you need me, I can usually be found at the library or the pool!”
Ravenfrost gasped in wonder. ¨This is better than walking in the forest!¨ she cried out. Her call echoed on the stools.
Stormi sighed. ¨You´re all idiots. Is it really safe to be walking in a pillow fort? Does it have support beams?¨
¨Shut up, Stormi! This is the BlogClan Chaospage! And the fort is magic! ¨ called Tigershine, striding around. ¨Is there a roleplay section? Ravenfrost, c´mon!¨
Ravenfrost sighed and went with her. Stormi decided to go explore. She eventually found the storymaking section, where Ravenfrost and Tigershine were. Tigershine was telling Ravenfrost that when she went on patrol, she should gather juniper berries. She should also catch two voles and meet Boulderheart by the border to share one before she went back to camp. The two of them leapt into a comment on BlogClan and disappeared. Stormi followed them. She came across a rich forest full of beautiful things she had never seen. Ravenfrost and Boulderheart were twining tails and brushing pelts. Ravenfrost told him Mistpaw´s new mentor was Tigertrust. Boulderheart apoligized for killing Birdbirch in the last battle. Ravenfrost forgave him and offered a vole. Stormi left.