The Hazelpage

The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.

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Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.

Notice Board:

- The opening hours of the tavern have been extended! Thanks to new staff hirings, we are happy to serve guests 24 hours a day! We hope you'll warmly welcome our new barstaff: Pearl the Purple Microkitten and Lucy the Alarmingly Long Lemur!
- Be sure to check out our new vegan options, including a Tofu and Seaweed Fish and Chips; a Beetroot and Bean Burger with Pineapple and Chilli Salsa; and Nachos Topped with Chili, Zesty Guacamole and Five-Tomato Salsa!
- We are now a proud supplier of beverages from the Lua Luau Lemonade Company! As such, we will now be serving the highly popular flavours of C++ Cherryade, Java Julmust and CSS Cola! All from an introductory price of 12px (Pixels) each!
- And for people looking out for something to do in the tavern, we have several new board games on offer in the gaming cupboard! Be sure to have a go at Pixel Perfect, the game where players try to write their messages in rhyme! We assure you it's a heck of a good time!

8,125 comments

  • Avatar 🐅🌟Tigerpaw/shine (Tiger Dashing Under Shining Sun/Tiger Shine/Tiger) (mae/mim/mair/mairself, rav/rae/raven/ravenself, she/her/her/herself)🐅🌟 says:

    so um….. we all fully identify as cat, right?
    how do we eat cookies then?

    • Silvy turned around in surprise, “A new page already? The fun was just beginning!” Silvy sighed sadly. “I guess we have to move on from the porble and purple cookies now.”

          • “Oh,” Silver mewed kindly, “It’s not so bad! Look, the workers are stacking up new plates of food on the counter!”

            • Silvy stopped crying. “Food?” she asked, “FOOD?” “GIMME DA FOOD!” Silvy bolted towards the plates of food and started stuffing herself. “FOOD FOOD FOOD!!!” she chanted.

            • “Look!” cried Silver, trying to cheer up Silvy. “They have Rainbow Cupcakes! And one last purple cookie!”

              • Silvy sadly snatched the last purple cookie in her paws and ate it in one bite, chewing miserably.

                • “There, there,” mewed Silver. “Here’s a good book!” Silver handed Silvy a magical book that became whatever the holder’s favorite book was.

  • “Ok, enough of the cookies. The cookies have been going on for too long,” Silvy declared, “From now we eat RAINBOW CUPCAKES!!!”

    • “I do like cupcakes…,” mewed Silver happily. She clapped her forepaws together twice and a large pile of cupcakes appeared on a silver platter. “Ooh… It’s so my style though!” she mewed staring at the silver platter. (Get it? My nickname is Silver and the cupcakes are on a silver platter? Haha, I’m so funny!) “All are welcome to have some!” she yowled as she grabbed a few. (They didn’t have any wrappers so it’s easy for a cat to eat!)

    • Avatar 🐅🌟Tigerpaw/shine (Tiger Dashing Under Shining Sun/Tiger Shine/Tiger) (mae/mim/mair/mairself, rav/rae/raven/ravenself, she/her/her/herself)🐅🌟 says:

      ¨What do they do? Are they cursed?¨ Tigershine asked, taking a few steps back.
      ¨Nerd,¨ Stormi muttered, burying her nose in frosting.

        • “Well, I would curse something if I could,” Silvy muttered, “But I used up my magic potions already.”

          • “That was last page!” Silver mewed. “I don’t have problems like that though, I just clap my forepaws, and what I want appears!” Silver paused. “But please don’t curse anything!”

            • “Well I can make things happen my snapping my claws/fingers,” Silvy commented, “Last page I made portals disappear, I wonder what will happen on this page…”
              She snapped her claws/fingers and suddenly, colourful confetti burst out of nowhere, sticking to Silvy’s pelt. “Uh,” she mewed, “That’s all?” “Nope,” a voice said behind her, “Look behind you.” “Huh?” Silvy asked, turning around. She gasped as she spotted a large bomb the size of a car behind her. In a matter of seconds, the bomb blew up, causing a huge hole to appear in the ground and send Silvy flying far away, her fur in flames. “Argh!” she grunted, as she landed face first onto the ground. In the distance, she could see flames flickering on a lone tree and smoke coming out of a giant hole in the middle of the ground, “Uh oh,” she mewed, slowly backing away as a soot covered and angry Silver climbed out of the hole and started charging towards her.

              • Silver dashed past Silvy, who seemed to think she was attacking her. She clapped her forepaws and suddenly everything was repaired (including the tree).
                “Sorry!” mewed Silvy.
                “It’s okay, just don’t do that again!” Silver meowed.

                • “Hey! When did I say sorry?” Silvy shouted angrily at Silver, “You can’t make things up about me! And the tree was supposed to stay like that, along with the hole!” She stomped away in fury, muttering angrily under her breathe.

                  • (Remember to be kind, even on the Hazelpage! I’m sure you’re simply joking, but sometimes it can come off in a way that isn’t so nice. :()

                    • I’m sorry about that 😃
                      I was just joking, but I guess it didn’t turn out that way. I apologise if I offended anyone!

                    • No it’s okay! It was just a simple joke:D Sorry if I made it seem like it wasn’t 😃

      • “No, they’re not cursed,” Silvy gestured to the pile of rainbow cupcakes.

    • Avatar 🐅🌟Tigerpaw/shine (Tiger Dashing Under Shining Sun/Tiger Shine/Tiger) (mae/mim/mair/mairself, rav/rae/raven/ravenself, she/her/her/herself)🐅🌟 says:

      Also, This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks
      why don´t we drink those to go with the cupcakes

      • “Hmm…,” mewed Silver. “I think something is missing.” She clapped her forepaws again and large cups of layered soda appeared. (Yes, this sounds strange, but why not?) There was grape flavored on the bottom, blue raspberry, lime, pineapple, orange, then cherry flavored on the top.

      • Silver clapped her paws and the cupcakes were back and Hawkwisker was back on their feet, cupcake-free. “You’re welcome,” Silver mewed as she grabbed another cupcake and another soda.

    • “Gay cupcakes?” Frost asked, curiously. “I wonder how it taste like?”

  • Silver jumped up on a stool and cried: “The floor is lava!’ She then hopped to the top of the counter for more space.

  • “Have you heard of this game on the Hazelpage?
    It’s all the rage!
    It’s called Pixel Perfect, a game where players try to write their messages in rhyme!
    Go to Viper’s cave party after you rhyme!
    You’ll have such a pleasant time!
    There’s no cave monster! Viper has committed no crime!
    There’s just bread, food and fun!
    We host it to keep the blog from being over-run!
    It’s all for mentor-less apprentices to have fun!
    Did I mention how you won’t get eaten?
    And how at this game, I cannot be beaten?”

  • Poppy walked through the door,her fur soaked. “It’s raining hard.” she commented,shaking out her fluffy coat. “I was trying to get to the Tavern,but this place was closer and I didn’t want to get any damper than I already was.” She watched the chaos going on for a while before jumping onto a couch and laying down.

    • “Oh hello there! Welcome to the Hazelpage where all sorts of magic, miracles, chaos and disasters happen!” explaimed Silvy, handing Poppysky the last porble cookie. “There’s lots of food here, so please stay!”

      • “Yes!” mewed Silver, jumping around on the counter. “Please stay! New cats are so much fun! Feel free to have some rainbow cupcakes and layer sodas!” Silver wared her tail toward the platter with the cupcakes and sodas.
        She frowned. “Wait, where are the cupcakes and sodas?” she mewed, startled. “All I see is a bunch of fighting cats!” A look of realization crossed her face. “Ohh…they must be fighting over the last few!” She clapped her paws and the platter was refilled and the fighting stopped immediately.
        Silver rolled her eyes. “Honestly! fighting over cupcakes!” she muttered. “It’s as though they are kits!”
        When Silver saw the shock on Poppy’s face, she mewed, “What you can do here on the Hazelpage is only limited by your imagination!”
        Silver began to walk back to the other side of the counter. “Oh, I forgot to tell you! The floor is lava right now!”
        She glared at a few cats sitting on the floor. “But some cats don’t listen to me!”

  • “Is the Hazelpage hiring waiters?” Lil inquired, “They seem rather overrun and look as though they could use some help.”

  • “THINGS HAVE BEEN TOO PEACEFUL!” Silvy announced, “WHOEVER CAN CREATE THE MOST CHAOS WILL WIN THIS EXOTIC GOLDEN CHOCOLATE EGG THAT HAS A POTION THAT CAN MAKE YOU FLY!!!!” Silvy held up a huge golden egg in her paws. “And don’t think about stealing it,” Silvy added, “This egg is very intelligent and obedient and will not budge unless I say so. It’s impossible to steal, break or make it vanish, so don’t even try doing that.”

    • Viper slowly approached with a flamethrower. “Can I hold it for a moment?” he asked cheerfully.

      • “Nope!” Silvy said brightly, “Only the person who creates the most chaos can have it!”

    • “Meh,” Silver said. She was still sitting on the counter with her tail dangling over the edge. “I can do that anyway!” She clapped her paws and suddenly she was levitating. She bowed, then returned to the countertop.

    • Shimmer makes her mind go blank. Soon, the Hazelpage follows suite. “There.” She whispers. “There is nothing left, so I made the most chaos.”

      • “But it wasn’t exciting enough!” Silvy told Shimmer, “I want explosions!”

        • “Fiiiiine. I just hate to ruin the awesome Hazelpage” Shimmer drawls, producing fireworks. She set them off, and they spelled, “Enough explosions for yah?” in millions upon millions of fireworks.

            • “Oh, but I wasn’t done yet.” Shimmer mischievously replied as she set up more fireworks, this time directed at the audience. In the background, you can hear somecat shouting, “DUN, DUN, DUHHHHH!!!”

    • springkit fires a flamethrower into the crowd, and commits arson on one of the tables, then causes amonkey to swing on the chandelier, and then dumps cold lemonade on everyone.
      ¨i made the most chaos GIMME¨

      • “Ahhhh yes!” Silvy cried, “Just what I wanted. You and Hawkwhisker can share!” Silvy gave Springkit a half of the exotic golden egg.

        • Lil smiled and creeped up to a red button on the counter and smiled as the ground began to quake and sparklers went off around the room. “And chaos begins to unfold,” she whispered, watching the ceiling erupt into fireworks and lights.

    • Silver sat down on the countertop and clapped her paws and a container of popcorn appeared. She started snacking on it. “I love the Hazelpage,” she sighed as she watched the chaos unfold. One of the fires started spreading to where she was and she dumped the pail of water she had next to her on it. The pail magically refilled.

  • Captain trotted into the dark tavern, gripping a Mario plush in her jaws. The captain’s hat she normally wore was replaced with a Mario cap, and she had a backpack shaped like a Mario kart was open, spilling out loads of sweets as she walked. “Sorry I’m late!” She put the plushie down. “I was at Super Nintendo World. What did I miss?”

    (All of these things are actually real pieces of merchandise from the theme park!)

  • Captain trotted into the dark tavern, gripping a Mario plush in her jaws. The captain’s hat she normally wore was replaced with a Mario cap, and she had a backpack shaped like a Mario kart. The backpack was open, spilling out loads of sweets as she walked. “Sorry I’m late!” She put the plushie down. “I was at Super Nintendo World. What did I miss?”

    (All of these things are actually real pieces of merchandise from the theme park!)

    • “Not much!” mewed Silver. “We changed from porble cookies to rainbow cupcakes and sodas, the floor is lava, and there’s a challenge to make chaos in a post above!” She looked at the sweets on the ground. They were in wrappers. “Mind if I have some?” she asked pointing with a claw to the sweets.

        • “Oooh!” Silver cried. She clapped her paws to make a few pawfuls of sweets levitate to where she was, so she didn’t touch the lava. She grabbed them out of the air and ate several.