The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Minnow looked around and casually climbed on top of a chair. She yells, “WHO ELSE IS THINKING THIS IS CHAOS??” Suddenly, something slimy landed in one hand (paw).She tossed it at a table, and it landed with a slap.
“Aww, a new page already? The last one was so fun!”
“Yeah! There was acid rain!” Hawkwhisker mewed.
“I’m thinking chaos! Also, can I have my slime back?” Leopardkit asks, pointing at the slime Minnow threw.
Everpaw walks in with a basket, sees all the chaos, goes to the corner with food, fills her basket with cupcakes, shouts something, sits in a corner, and starts eating the cupcakes. After she finished her 4th cupcake, she looks around and says, confused, “What is going on here?”
“Well,” Shimmers started, “there are soggy fries, a portal to space, a Twitter label belonging to me, acid rain, and some mean Haelpagey magic!” She pointed with her tail at each thing in turn.
“No there isn’t!” Silvy mewed, “It’s a new page, so we have to think of new types of chaos!”
“Yes,” Shimmers agreed, “but when I first saw this comment, I’m pretty sure this was on the last page.”
“Oh” Silvy mewed.
“Aww,” she says, “Not many people like soggy fries”
“Noooo,” Silvy wailed, “We need to eat cookies, not cupcakes!”
“How about a compromise?” Shimmers asked. “Cupcakes and cookies!” She made a platter of both appear, as if to prove her point.
Twilightpaw padded over, gazing hopefully at Shimmers and Silvy- and of course, also the platter. “Hey… can we be friends? And also, can I have a cupcake and a cookie?”
“Of course!” Silvy handed Twilightpaw a porble cookie.
“Definitely!” Shimmers mewed happily. She handed Twilightpaw a plate with a cupcake and cookie. She thought for a second and then handed Twilightpaw a rainbow layer soda as well.
“Okay,” Silvy grumbled, picking up a cupcake and a cookie off the platter.
“What did I miss all day while there was HTTP ERROR 500 on my screen all day long?” Hawkwhisker meowed.
“I don’t know. I had that error, too.” Shimmer replies, then throws a pie into a portal. Why? Not even Shimmer knows.
“Nothing!” Silvy replied.
“Mha mha mha, Kirishima. Denki is nice. Mha. Deku deku. Bakugou pow.” Frost muttered, rocking back and forth on the floor
“Are you OK, Frost?” Shimmers asked. She grabbed the platter of cookies, cupcakes, and sodas and waved them around in front of Frost to see if that would snap her out of it.
“No. Mha is life. I have a life?”
“What is MHA?” Hawkwhisker asked with their new nickname; Hawkie.
“My hero Academia. Mha mha.” Frost continued to rant
“The Codekind almost destroyed us- thank goodness the mods were able to fix it!” Minktail purrs, smiling.
“Three cheers for the mods!!” Shimmer shouts!
“Yay!” Shimmers cried. “Go mods!” She made more cupcakes, cookies, and layer sodas appear for any passing mods.
Cheetah sucked them all into her mouth like a vacuum and continued on her way.
“Are you a flerkin or something?” Shimmers asked, creating another trayful.
“I don’t really know what I am but probably.”
Poppypaw slowly crept into the Hazelpage,watching for any fire or weapons. Once she was sure there was nothing too dangerous going on,she sat down next to Minktail.
“Ha!” Silvy popped out in front of Poppypaw out of nowhere and threw a magic potato at her.
“What the-” Poppypaw was cut off as she stared at Hawkwhisker with the flamethrower. “Uh,thanks for the potato.” she murmured,backing away.
Springkit snatches the potato and makes French fries with her Magic Food Maker 3000. “There, French fries for everyone!” She then proceeds to go get a coke from under her coat because you know, you always gotta be prepared for the hazelpage.
“EXCUSE you!” Shimmers growled, snatching the Coke away. “We drink rainbow layer sodas here! Not COKE!” She replaced the Coke with a layer soda.
Hawkwhisker got the flame thrower and started burning down the Hazelpage once again. “MWAHAHAHAHA, THE HAZELPAGE IS BURNING DOWN, BURNING DOWN, BURNING DOWN, THE HAZELPAGE IS BURNING DOWN!” Hawkwhisker started signing to the tune of London Bridge.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Shimmers yowled. “THOU SHALT NOT BURN THE HAZELPPAGE!!!!!!!” She grabbed a huge pail of water out of thin air and splashed it on the flames, putting them out. They were about to be replaced by more flames when Shimmers splashed the water onto Hawkwisker as well, causing them to drop the flamethrower.
Hawkwhisker got the flamethrower back. “Aww…Can I sign ‘The Hazelpage is burning down’ some more? Pleeease??” Hawkwhisker mewed with their sparkling Hazel eyes filled with pleading.
“Looks like Silvy is doing it for you,” said Raven, pointing her fluffy tail towards Silvy, who was throwing magic potatoes everywhere and setting the entire Hazelpage on fire.
“I’m not even gonna try to stop her,” Shimmers grumped. “I’d probably end up with flaming fur or something…” She created a protective shield around her in case Silvy decided to try it.
“FIREEEEEEE!” Silvy bellowed, as she threw magic potatos around the room, creating flames everywhere.
“Hi, Poppypaw,” Minktail mewed, casually ducking as Hawkwhisker pulled out the flamethrower. “Want some cookies? I may or may not have stolen them from Silvy a couple pages back.” She smirked mischievously, offering Poppypaw a purple cookie.
“That isn’t possible I’m afraid,” Silvy frowned, “They can’t be my cookies since I ran out a few pages ago and I only got them back last page. The original cookies ran out quite a while ago.” Silvy grabbed the cookie out of Minktail’s paws and inspected it, looking very confused. “Also, the purple cookies ran out first,” Silvy murmured.
Hawkwhisker slid from the shadows with the Flamethrower. They soon started singing. “THE HAZELPAGE IS BURNING DOWN, BURNING DOWN, BURNING DOWN! THE HAZELPAGE IS BURING DOWN, BURNING DOWN!”
Silvy continued throwing magic potatoes everywhere, especially at Shimmer’s sheild as she watched it bounce off the invisible sheild and fly over everyone’s head and set more flames.
Shimmers calmly licked her paw. “I’ll make the fire disappear when it gets too out of hand,” she mewed, strengthening her shield just in case.
wolli rolled off the table hir was laying on and onto the floor, “does anyone have some chewing gum?” they asked
“No. but I have porble cookies and magic potatoes,” Silvy mewed.
“And I have rainbow cookies, cupcakes, and layer sodas!” Shimmers chimed in. She held out a tray to Wolli. “Also, chewing gum is toxic to cats, and we are all cats on the Hazelpage!”
“I’m a cat??” Rose looked down at himself and screamed. “OH MY GOD I’M A CAT.” After he screamed, he took a bite out of one of Shimmer’s rainbow cookies. “Nothing made with rainbows can be poisonous.”
“Everyone’s a cat on the Hazelpage!” Shimmers said. “You didn’t know?”
“I always have gummmm!” Frost throws gum everywhere
“YOU’LL NEVER GET MY GUM! You’ll burn before you do!” Hawkwhisker said proudly as the Hazelpage burned. “THE HAZELPAGE IS BURNING DOWN, BURNING DOWN, BURNING DOWN! THE HAZE-” A random cat yeeted Hawkwhisker’s gum to Wolli.
“No!” Shimmers yowled, intercepting the gum and throwing it out a window. “Gum is TOXIC to cats!”
“STOP BURNING DOWN THE HAZELPAGE, UNLESS YOU WANT US TO ALL SUFFOCATE OR BURN TO DEATH!” Sparkpaw screams, freaking out. She picks up a fire extinguisher and starts spraying it all over the place.
Silvy simply threw a magic potato at the fire extinguisher and it disapeared in a cloud of smoke and flames, accidentally setting Sparkpaw’s fur on fire. “Oops,” Silvy mewed, backing away slowly.
Sparkpaw yelped with fear and stop-drop-rolled, putting out her smoking fur. Waving her paws frantically at the ceiling, she tried to use magic to put out the fire but accidentally starts a thunderstorm instead. “Oops… oh, hey, there is rain though…what do I do now?” she asks, glancing desperately at Silvy and Shimmers (who actually knew how to cast magic spells.)
Shimmers clapped her paws, frantically trying to send the thunderstorm away. She succeeded in making it not a thunderstorm anymore (so there wouldn’t be lightning), but also started raining harder. A hole about half the size of a cat also appeared, probably so that the Hazelpage wouldn’t flood and the water would have somewhere to go.
“Well, I did what I could,” Shimmers sighed. She strung a hammock up on the underside of a table and draped a tarp over the table, so she wouldn’t get wet from the rain.
Then, Shimmers crawled into it with her audio book at the highest volume that wouldn’t hurt her ears.
“You think you can stop EVIL HAWK, also known as; Woodpecker?” Hawk’s evil version said. “It was me who burned the Hazelpage, Shimmerpaw. Also, you can call me Peck.”
“Hey! Amber! Come hear right now and eat that cat!” Leopardkit says pointing at Hawk’s evil version. Then she watches as her pet lion eats Hawk the evil.
“NOOOOOOOO! THE FIRE!” Silvy wailed as she flew up into the stormy clouds and disappeared in depression.
“Timeee is brokennn.” Frost sings
“What do you mean?” Shimmer asked. “In the Hazelpage, time is not a thing!! Wait, if time isn’t a thing here, then… how do I know what it is???”
“Anyone want to play a game,
Of which it has a perfect name.
Literally, Pixel Perfect is it
It really is a very big hit.
So why not try and make a rhyme?
(Meat goes well with rosemary and thyme)”
Says Rabbitflame, to whoever will listen,
“That recipe goes well with lamb or chicken.”
“Of course I want to play Pixel Perfect,
It is absolutely worth it.
Even though it takes forever
Because I can’t really ever
Think of a rhyme
But I’m doing pretty well this time
So everybody join in this game
It isn’t lame
On the Hazelpage (which is just chaos)
What counts as a loss?
Spending an entire day to make a rhyme this long
Or maybe just trying to prove someone wrong”
Says Everpaw, while watching cat set fires with their paws,
“This place must have no laws.”
“Does Pixel Perfect
Rhyme with
Pixel Perfect
Rhyme with
Pixel Perfect
Yes it does.” Leopardkit rhymes as well as she can. “Sorry, I’m not good at Pixel Perfect”.
Red walks into the Hazelpage after spending an entire month of vaer life binging the entire MCU timeline for no reason whatsoever
there was a reason, WandaVision.“Sup peeps?!” vae calls into the clamor.Silvy threw a whole bag of porble cookies at Red is excitement as she dropped flaming magic potatoes everywhere.
Navy parked her TARDIS outside and wandered in absently. “I suppose it’s been a while? What year is this? When was I even last here?”
“There’s no thing such as time here,” Silvy responded, “It could have been a minute ago or maybe a billion years ago.” Silvy shrugged as she handed Navy a couple of porble cookies and carelessly threw a magic potato behind her.
“Thanks!” Navy’s eyes widened with delight as she took a bite of one of the cookies. “I suppose things can get very difficult around here without the concept of time, especially when you throw in the possibility of time travel.”
“Hm, yes,” Silvy mewed.
“It’s been 5 years since you disappeared in 2021. It’s now 2026 and I’d like to welcome you back to reality. Or IS it reality or just a trick of your mind? Huh!” Says Holly casually (Hi I don’t know you but uh hi??)
“NAVYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” Aquila screeches, rushing over and nearly tripping over a chair leg. She reaches Navy and grins happily, taking her vortex manipulator out of the pocket of her surgical scrubs (I got a new obsession oops), “How are you?” she asks happily, fiddling with the vortex manipulator because she fidgets constantly.
Springkit jumps onto a table and yells ¨I WANT GUACAMOLE, BYRANI, ALBAIK CHICKEN BURGERS, AND JAIRO¨
she then sobs because she lives and america, the nearest albaik is 6 hours away, and the real quality albaik is halfway around the world in Saudi Arabia. And her mom isn´t letting her go buy jairo from the Jairo Man (idk why i call him that but istg that vendor SELLS THE ABSOLUTE BEST JAIRO IN NEW YORK[city or state you will never know >:D]) AND ALL THEH AVACADOS ARE ROTTEN AND IN THE TRASH (insert the rest of springkits food rant here)
“I want chicken curry with naan and poppadoms. No dips, yes I like it DRY!” Holly says in a very casual voice.
Me: *walks in* “CAN I HAVE A PEPPERMINT?” *Looks at everyone staring at her.* “What? Does anyone know what I’m on about otherwise I’m just weird.” (I don’t even know what my brain is doing but it is a very catchy song soooooooo…)
¨Nope!¨ Leopardkit says as she stuffs her face with peppermint.