The Hazelpage

The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.

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Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.

Notice Board:

- The opening hours of the tavern have been extended! Thanks to new staff hirings, we are happy to serve guests 24 hours a day! We hope you'll warmly welcome our new barstaff: Pearl the Purple Microkitten and Lucy the Alarmingly Long Lemur!
- Be sure to check out our new vegan options, including a Tofu and Seaweed Fish and Chips; a Beetroot and Bean Burger with Pineapple and Chilli Salsa; and Nachos Topped with Chili, Zesty Guacamole and Five-Tomato Salsa!
- We are now a proud supplier of beverages from the Lua Luau Lemonade Company! As such, we will now be serving the highly popular flavours of C++ Cherryade, Java Julmust and CSS Cola! All from an introductory price of 12px (Pixels) each!
- And for people looking out for something to do in the tavern, we have several new board games on offer in the gaming cupboard! Be sure to have a go at Pixel Perfect, the game where players try to write their messages in rhyme! We assure you it's a heck of a good time!

8,643 comments

  • (first time on Hazelpage)
    (Skypaw peaks around and hides somewhere then spies on the chaos)
    *Grabs a cookie and silently goes back to hiding place and just chills*

    • Firepaw runs to Skypaw’s corner. “YOU AIN’T CHILLIN FOR LONG!” she shouts. “ALSO, HERE’S SOME LEFTOVER PIZZA THAT BLAZESTRIKE STUFFED IN MY MOUTH!” *stuffs pizza in Skypaw’s mouth* “WELCOME TO CHAOS, AKA THE HAZELPAGE, AKA LOKI’S VACATION SPOT!”

      (It’s also my first day on the Hazelpage, too! Don’t worry! And I don’t have an official account either yet!)

  • (no rhyming for me because I’m terrible at it)When she was done eating the cookie, she quietly went outside (as sneaky as cats can be, ya know) then she laughed quietly and hid under the long, smooth grass. What can I do now? She wondered. Maybe try and move this long grass so it looks like the grass is dancing? Yes! She thought. Or would someone try to scent me down? Skypaw wondered. I should disguise my scent with the long grass so they don’t check the patch of grass she was hiding in. Good idea, she thought. But wait!
    They won’t know I am planning to do this! They won’t just come out! What do I do to get them out?

  • Firepaw grabs a car bomb from the street, brings it inside the Hazelpage. KABOOM! “….should I have done that? Oh well, blew something up yay!”

    • Blazestrike glanced at the gaping hole in the ceiling, then looked at the shrapnel on the floor. “You blew something up, all right. I don’t think anyone else has managed to destroy half the Hazelpage on their first day.”

  • ignore my comment of sneaking out of hazelpage becaus i just read firepaw/stream’s comment
    Eats pizza and says “Thets Irefaw” then she sighed, everyone’s chaotic i could just scream “pgpgejgeisngseu” and no one would care, well i’ll just dress up as Firestar (in bathroom or hidden outside EXTREMELY good if theres no bathroom) *dresses up as Firepaw/heart/star* and planning to do something…
    |
    She runs out really far away and makes this weird cat-tigerstar-robot out of nature. leaves, pinecones stuff like that and makes it come in hazelpage and say ” I am Tigerstar and I’ll throw these cakes full of the blood in my claws and throw it in ur face!”
    *throws it in everyone’s face now they have blood faces and accidently throws one in his own face*

  • Cinderspark panted heavily, staring as sloths and bread shot over her head, and nearly dodged a waffle. She barreled onward, wincing as she hit something metal. An ominous beeping noise echoed around the room. “Oh no…” the timer on the dynamite continued counting down. Cinderspark sipped a smoothie as it slid in her reach, before running into a sofa.

    (Not bad for my first comment here)

  • returns to hazelpage *still has the firestar suit* and says “hey yall want music” then puts down a duck who’s insane *found in a trashcan*

    (yall can decide what the duck does as long as it’s crazy

    • When the duck walked up to the Hazelpage,
      And he said to the cat, running the page,
      “Hey, dun-dun-dun, got any explosives?”
      The woman said, “No but we sell roses,
      “They’re sweet and red and pretty chaoses.”
      “Wanna give them a go?”
      “How about no.”
      And he waddled away, waddle waddle waddle.
      And he waddled away, waddle waddle waddle.

      • And then the duck returned. “WHY, YOU-“ Firepaw shouts as she stops chasing Dawny and bolts after the duck, who speeds up.

  • Cinderspark grins, realizing what she can do. Uh oh. 10 seconds on the dynamite. Cinderspark grabs the dynamite in her teeth, and yeets it at a window. KABLAM! There was now a missing window in the Hazelpage. Cinderspark calmly grabbed a slushie and sipped peacefully, plotting her next move.

  • *the first time I’ve ever commented on the hazelpage*
    Frostpaw looks into the chaos and eats zesty guacamole
    While chilling in the corner and chewing it slowly
    She grabs a piece of dynamite- KABOOM!
    “Whoops, I just destroyed half the room!”

    • Still chasing the duck, Firepaw shouts,”Welcome! I see you’ve destroyed something on your first time, too! Welcome to the club!”.

  • *stomps in*
    Welp, today I crave chaos. Oh goody, it’s on the menu

    • “Hey, hey, grumpy, no need to be mad! After all, it’s the Hazelpage! Also, here’s a double triple serving of chaos. You’re welcome!” Firepaw shouts as she slides over to where Lightningshadow is, sets down a plate, then resumes chasing the duck.

      • *grabs the plate of chaos happily*
        “Thank you kind firepaw”

  • Cinderspark carefully constructed a food bot. After that, she grabbed a lit sticks of dynamite and yeeted them everywhere, nearly destroying the entire hazelpage. A little corner remained.

    • “Whoop de dang doo! There goes that duck!” yells Firepaw, as she ducks falling debris and continues running after the duck.

      (Does anyone else think it’s weird that the Hazelpage always regenerates the walls?)

      • Yeah, it is weird that the Hazelpage regenerates walls.

        “Whelp, Firepaw, I’m coming with you!”
        Frosty yowls, and shatters the window with her loud mew.
        She chases after the duck, shaking her fur from window shards,
        But the duck is runs so fast that time goes in the other direction and Frosty starts running backwards.

  • “CHAOS WITHOUT ME???” Doepaw yowled. “HOW DARE YOU!!!!” Then, she leaped onto Skypaw and used her training to pin her to the ground. “I OFFICIALLY DECLARE THAT TODAY IS WAFFLE-l CELEBRATION DAY!!”

    • “Happy waffle celebration day!” Frosty cries.
      She pulls out a food generator (that’s spitting french fries)
      And proceeds to explode the Hazelpage with waffles!

        • “No you don’t,” Firepaw shout from the ceiling.

          • “Well”, freepaw shouts back, “I’m the only civilized one here, so who else is going to clean it up?” Freepaw shoots a waffle at Firepaw immediately proving he is not civilized.

    • Frosty grins mischievously, “Well, you won’t be missing it for long!”
      More waffles explode from her food generator- ka-BLONG!

  • Ospreymist marched into the Hazelpage for the first time.
    ”HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FLAMINGO HAT????!!!??!?!?!??” she yowled, ducking as a rubber chicken flew over her head. A dull explosion sound sounded from one corner of the Hazelpage.

    • “I see it’s your Hazelpage debut!”
      Frosty exclaims, “You can destroy something too!”

        • Frosti grins and immediately triplicates everything in the Hazelpage. This backfires and she is buried in a pile of chaos. She sticks out her head, shouting, “Found the flamingo hat!”