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(Commenting here since we reached the thread limit)
Tysm Spark! I changed a couple of things, though it’s still a work in progress:
https://justpaste.it/fjzba
In the meantime, what did you think of my answers to your questions about Quailsnow?
Edit: Page flip!
I agree that Quailsnow’s corruption would make more since if its gradual! I’ve been thinking that if we were going with the ghost mystery plot than maybe Softcloud’s schemes could be tied with Moonpetal’s death, something that Softcloud is unaware she was the cause of. Softcloud’s relationship with Quailsnow would become more compliated, as Quailsnow sees Softcloud as the only cat in the Clan who wasn’t holding him back (at least in Quailsnow’s head). Softcloud could also find a redemption arc for herself if Smokebreeze lays out the facts to her.
That’s a great idea! Now, how does Softcloud cause Moonpetal’s death? Of course it should be indirect if she isn’t aware she did it herself, but in what way? She could have been manipulated by other cats to make the wrong decision leading to Moonpetal’s demise, or she could have let curiosity get the better of her leading to something happening that she dismissed as nothing? And I believe that Smokebreeze should lay out a redemption arc for Softcloud to follow, but will Moonpetal be forgiving of Softcloud’s actions or will she be in suspicion of allowing a second chance?
Sorry for the late reply, I was on vacation! I believe Moonpetal would at first be hesitant to forgive Softcloud but learing to forgive her would be a big part of her arc! Softcloud’s littermate Shimmerstream might be more reluctant to forgive her sister though, as she was close to both Softcloud and Moonpetal. Other ideas that I’ve had since our last talk was that Moonpetal would privately teach Smokebreeze some medicine cat skills so that Featherflight could still have a replacement in wait if needed, Lightshine is the only other cat beside Smokebreeze that could see Moonpetal and he gets involved in the case, and possibly Lightshine being temporary possessed by a Dark Forest cat? Let me know what you think!
That would be cool! If Lightshine did see Moonpetal as a ghost, how come he never told the leader? Or if he did tell the leader, why didn’t they believe him? I think it would be interesting for Lightshine to get possessed (similar to Willowshine if you know what I mean) but what intentions does the DF cat have?
I’m thinking that Lightshine would be the kind of cat who would like to have all the facts of a situation before he gets Bayoustar involved, and since Moonpetal can’t remember what or who killed her, Lightshine doesn’t see the need to inform his Clan of his ghostly visions. This part of Lightshine’s personality is also one of the reasons why the rest of the medicine cats look down on him, as he takes prophecies into his own paws and refuses to get anyone else involved, which makes him come off as a bit narcissistic. As for the Dark Forest’s intentions with Lightshine, Lightshine is very intelligent and is actually the most intelligent medicine cat around the lake. His curiosity and pursuit of knowledge comes off as reckless, something I think the DF could take advantage of. All they have to do is offer answers to his questions, questions that his Clanmates find too odd to answer, and they could easily win him over.
That makes total sense! After Lightshine falls victim to the DF, does his personality change in any way that makes the other medicine cats suspect anything? (Other than Moonpetal.) Or is Lightshine so smart that he is able to cover up everything?
EDIT: Since this is the end of the comment thread, you can start a new thread!
this sent me into an actual panic how did i take this long im so stupid what im really sorry silv
I imagine that Lightshine’s personality doesn’t significantly change. The other med cats already have a negative view of him, and he’s not really that close to his Clanmates for them to notice any changes – other than his mother Tansyshine of course. Moonpetal’s doesn’t let anyone in either, and she thought she liked it that way until she died and was forced to watch the world move on without and she realized that she didn’t make a significant impact on anyone. Moonpetal and Lightshine end up having an understanding of each other as they learn more about each other. Moonpetal is somewhat aware of Lightshine’s alliance with the DF, so she’s on the look out for signs.
Got it! Is there anything else you’d like to discuss before we start writing chapters?
I’ll like to develop the leaders more – Twilightstar, Raccoonstar, Bayoustar, and Flickerstar and how they operate their Clans. Twilightstar is defiantly going to play a role in Quailsnow’s ambitions, as she’s the current leader of ShadowClan.
Sorry for the late reply, yes ofc we can talk about that! How does Twilightstar (cool name) play a role in Quailsnow’s ambitions: does she side with them or is she a reason for Quailsnow’s villany?
Also side question: Are you active anywhere else on the blog?
I’m a bit shy, so I haven’t done much on the blog yet, but I do have some articles and character analysis ideas I’ll like to get to eventually! My English class this year has been intense so it’s been hard to motivate myself to write anything that isn’t for that class at the moment, but I hope I can start becoming more active once I get my grades back up!
As for Twilightstar, I think it would be interesting if Quailsnow use to adore her as his leader but eventually started to believe she was holding him back. This could also be his stance on the warrior code as well, as Twilightstar of course enforces those rules. Twilightstar does understand Quailsnow though but believes everyone should be given limitations, and fears his ambition for the sake of the Clan.
Oh okay! Got it 🙂
That seems good! Does Twilightstar have any character flaws that are explored other than somewhat strict?
Sorry for the late reply! I don’t really have much else to say on Twilightstar, but I’m open to any ideas if you have more!
Okay! How about a different leader, then?
Apologies for the late reply! I’ll really like to expand on Flickerstar, leader of WindClan. Despite being a pain to deal with at gatherings, I don’t see him as a villain. I’ld love to hear your thoughts on how we can bring him to life!