The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Creations eats a frozen waffle.
“Fight me if you dare,” they mutter while their mouth is full of frozen waffle.
“OKAY THEN I WILL” shouts dino, aiming a punch at creations.
Marb is standing on a massive stage. She looks down at the audience, a group of BlogClanners.
She clears her throat, then picks up the microphone.
“Tomato is a fruit, so therefore, that makes ketchup jam.”
She then looks down at the audience, waiting for them to react.
“AWRUASJrgwi4rm;wfi3uawgYGI;puyfe dptfpyeif puF utf ut” dino says, unable to form words in his shock. “DRIo6 nMF{ETDNED*FM{*Mfi68fm8[d6r”
“What does ketchup jam taste like? It sounds good..” Sparkpaw pauses, as if thinking. “Hey, do you have any handy?”
“No. No. No. I meant if tomato’s a fruit, ketchup is therefore jam!” Marb explains.
“What am I doing here?” Hollykit, a child, asks.
Primrosepaw malfunctions and disintegrates
Marblerose and a small group of other BlogClanners are gathered round a broken coffee maker. Finally, Marb speaks.
“So. Who broke it?” she asks. “I’m not mad, I just want to know.”
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Moonshade yowls as she knocks down a tea strainer
“No. No, you didn’t,” Marblerose says to her.
“I’VE SEEN THIS ONE!” Creations yells because yes. “IT WAS ME! I must have traveled back in time to not break it but I broke it anyways!”
Sparkpaw stares at her paws. “It was me. I must have sleepwalked into it.”
dino listens to all the confessions. “welp, it wasn’t me.” he decides
“You know…” Hollykit pointed out, “YOU’VE been awfully quiet, Marble!”
A shadowed figure appears in the doorway, and Sandbreeze appears, grinning evilly.
“All of you must surrender to the dark side…” She pulls out a lightsaber. “Or die.”
MUWHAHAHA
Sparkpaw tilts her head innocently. “Is this the part where I have to say ‘NO THAT’S NOT TRUE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE’? Or is it the part where I give you a sandwich? Because if so, I don’t have any sandwiches with me.”
Sandbreeze stares at Sparkpaw, confusion shadowing her face. “What a strange one,” she mutters. “But the Dark Side are enemies of the earth food sandwich! I prefer roasted porg!”
“What’s roasted porg? Did you spell it correctly? Because I am a cat who knows how to spell somehow. S-O-M-E-H-O-W. See?”
dino grins. his entire life has been preparing for this moment. putting a paw behind his head, he pulls out a lightsaber and moves his back paws into fight mode. dino holds the lightsaber diagonally, pointed away from his body and runs forward.
time slows down, and just as he’s about to attack sandbreeze, he does a frontflip in the air and lands behind her.
“haha that’s right, I was on the dark side this whole time” yells dino. “you all thought I was going to attack her”
Cinderspark laughs and pulls out her own lightsaber. “Finally, someone who agrees with me! I’m in!”
Sparkpaw stares in confusion at the cats with lightsabers. “I feel like I missed something important…” Then her eyes narrow and she pulls out a random yellow lightsaber with a sandwich on the tip from thin air. “You said you didn’t like sandwiches? Well, here comes nothing!” Sparkpaw yells and jumps forward at the other cats, but she casually slips on a banana that appeared out of nowhere and accidentally breaks the random Star Wars machine behind Sandbreeze because idk we’re now in the Death Star. “How do you USE this thing???” Sparkpaw yowls.
“Do you have bread? Because if so what KIND of bread? Where are the chefs? Is the bread even good?” Creations pulls out an empty plate. “I have butter, but I’ll eat that separately.”
Sandbreeze gives an evil laugh as she stares at her allies, then leaps on top of a table. “Now, Sparkpaw, you must surrender to the Dark Side. I will destroy all sandwiches on this planet you call Earth! MUWHAHA!””
“Creations, we are not talking about bread!” Sandbreeze pulls out her lightsaber and prepares to burn the bread into ashes.
“NEVER!” Sparkpaw throws a sandwich at Sandbreeze, handing some bread to Creations. “SANDWICHES RULE!”
egg just sits in the corner like those guys in hoodies who go to clubs who don’t do anything just stand there in the shadows
Marb notices her and sits with her in the corner because she’s also the type of those people.
Primrosepaw decides to join Egg and Marble
Creations starts floating menacingly.
“B R E A D I S R E Q U I R E D.”
Marb inhales all the bread in this room so Creations gets none.
Sparkpaw pauses in the middle of a bite of tuna sandwich. “Is tuna allowed? Or did they change the warrior code again?”
Cheetahheart shrugged, winking playfully at Sparkpaw “Who cares. Have fun eating your tuna sandwich.”
(Bahaha i have never seen this place before XD)
(I only discovered it because of a recent purr…)
“Wait a moment, how am I eating something with bread when Marb ate all of it? Does this bread even exist anymore? Did the tree fall in the forest if you didn’t hear it? No. I refuse to believe that. The bread that I already ate IS still in my belly. Even if I can’t see it.”
“HEY GUYS DO YOU THINK I CAN FLY?” dino yells from the rafters. “I PROBABLY CAN”T BUT IT’D BE FUN TO TRY ANYWAY”
he leaps down from the ceiling.
“NOPE CAN’t FL-igfmwfugepas,sw4ou;g” screams dino as pterodactyl wings sprout from the sides of his body. however, he did not read the ‘how to safely control your new pterodactyl wings’ instruction manual, so he still falls to the ground.
“DON’T WORRY I’M OKAY.” dino shouts.
LEMME TRY TOO IM A MOON
Moon yowls as “Rocking around the Christmas tree” blares.
“ITS THE START OF NOVEMBER! AT LEAST HAVE SOME DECENCY” screeches dino. he grabs the music playing machine thing and changes the song.
(i meant to say i changed it to another christmas song but I couldn’t think of one)
(uh huh… the start of November and it just snowed like crazy… )
“Next time read the manual.” Sparkpaw stares down at Dino with that know-it-all look. But then her eyes widen with surprise and she flattens her ears.
“TURN DOWN THE MUSIC MOON!” Sparkpaw yells over the music.
“Y’know what…” Sparkpaw stares thoughtfully at the ceiling. “That DOES look fun.”
She somehow jumps all the way onto the rafters, then leaps down.
“WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!” She yowls as she plummets ungracefully down to the ground.
“Hey, that WAS fun. I’m going to try it again!”
the tavern is now stuck in an infinite loop of k\jumping from the rafters.
Sparkpaw is sitting on the middle a round table with a bunch of BlogClanners. “Okay. So. Let’s have a SERIOUS CONVERSATION.” She says it as if the words “serious conversation” mean everything. “If you laugh, or even smile, you’re out.” Her gaze sweeps all the cats, as if daring them to disobey.
“We will begin the conversation on the topic of flying hippos.”
Silverkit manages not to laugh or smile at the thought of flying hippos and raises her hand. “Why flying hippos?” (Seriously though I’ve got weird emotions which are good for theatre Ex: if my mum and I are watching a movie and it’s a really sad part and my mum’s crying, I’ll just be watching it with no reaction)
Hazelpaw takes on her most serious face. “Flying hippos is a very cursed subject. It would be very hard for a hippo to fly, and the wings would be enormous. Therefor can we close the subject now?” she says without changing her facial expression.
“who said they had to have wings? they could just… fly.” dino reasons.
“Flying hippos actually harness the power of the wind and clouds. They do not have wings.” Sparkpaw’s face stays expressionless.
Creations sits there, dumbfounded.
“I need more coffee–this has to be a dream,” they shake an empty mug upside down.
“Coffee? Coffee is not permitted in this SERIOUS CONVERSATION.” Sparkpaw pokes Creations with one claw. “And it’s not a dream.”
“wouldn’t it make more sense to begin with the crisis occurring in schools across the globe? the playgrounds are becoming sentient and trying to eat the children. perhaps we can fit the flying hippopotamuses with battle armour and go to war.” dino suggests.
“Yes, Dino, that is a better idea. But I don’t think the hippos would like that. They are very fond of swings. Perhaps there is another solution?”
Sparkpaw tilts her head, still not smiling. “Remind me – where are the playgrounds’ mouths?”
“well, based off the confidential reports i hacked into, the mouths appear to be situated in the bark, sand or uncomfortable rubbery stuff at the bottom of the playground. the equipment either traps the children in it, or moves violently, like some sort of feral animal, shaking off the children. the ground then rises up into this blob-like form, where a gaping hole in the bark, sand or uncomfortable rubbery stuff catches the child before retreating into the earth and ensuring the playground appears safe as to catch more victims.” dino explains, his expression serious as ever.
“additionally, an inexplicable quantity of purple geese have been appearing several kilometres north-west-north (always north-west-north) from each site. it is unknown, however, whether these purple geese are indeed the children, or infact a by product of whatever happens underground.” dino continues, still with a very straight face.
“So, if we were to take away all the sand and replace it with wood chips, maybe they wouldn’t have mouths. And if you had to hack into something…” Sparkpaw leans forward. “THEN THE SITE YOU HACKED INTO MIGHT HAVE MADE THIS POSSIBLE.”
“WAIT WHEN YOU HACK INTO A TREE IT PROVIDES WOOD CHIPS, WHEN YOU HACK INTO A DOCUMENT DOES IT PROVIDE WOOD CHIPS?????” dino yells.
Brambleheart walks in, out of breath. “It’s been a while since I’ve last came, huh?” She finds a nice sun beam and curls up, listening to her headphones. The Hazelpage is a great place, and she intends to stay for a while.
Cheetahheart creeps up on Brambleheart, determined to scare the life out of her.
She creeps up behind her, and, with a large jump, goes “BOO!”
Brambleheart gets no peace because cats who are trying to fly (and failing) are falling on her head. Including Willa. “EIIIEEECHHHHRIIIIIIIII!” Willa screeches, trying to flap her paws like wings. She falls on top of Brambleheart’s head. “Sorry!” she apologizes quickly. “I thought landing on you would be easier.” Bramble notices that Willa is talking to her paws, not Bramble. Apologizing to her paws. That is very rude Willa! “Why?” Willa challenges. Because you didn’t apologize to Brambleheart. “Why would I need to apologize to Brambleheart? She should be thanking me for gracing her with my presence.” Yeah, whatever. I’ll apologize for you then. “No!” Willa decides immediately. “I shall do it myself!” She turns to Brambleheart grandly and says “I apologize” as fancily as she can manage and, with as much dignity as possible, climbs off of Bramble’s head.
Hollykit inhales the sun beam.
“Sun beam? SUNBEAM?” Sparkpaw yowls as she falls onto Hollykit’s head. But because she is an apprentice and Hollykit is a kit, Sparkpaw’s fur covers Hollykit’s body completely. “Oops.” Sparkpaw hops off.
Primrosepaw decides to jump into the non-existent-existent shaved ice machine causing a blizzard everywhere “IT”S CHRISTMASSSSSSSSS”
“NO IT’S THANKSGIVINGGGGGGGG!”
Willa summons a turkey and stabs it with a frozen tongue of flame. Freezing-hot fire spreads along the turkey, freezing it alive. She takes a large bite of the wing, and spits out feathers, cannon-style, at Prim’s head.
:0 “NO ITS CRISPMASSSS!” Primrosepaw summons a Santa version of Bork and throws the Bork to the nearest group of Blogclaners, while throwing a Shrek-gingerbread-thing in Willa’s direction
“Ahhhh!” Sparkpaw yells while dodging gingerbread. “It’s not either, mousebrains! It’s HALLOWEEN!”
Sparkpaw slaps the radio and makes This is Halloween music blast all over the room.
“HA!”
Pandaflame stepped into the entrance, taking off her coat and adjusting her red scarf before looking up at her surroundings.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been here, eh?”
“Probably.” 😀
“Maybe… W A N N A J O I N I N O N T H E C H A O S ? 😁”
“YEAH, SURE!” Pandaflame screamed in reply so she could make herself heard above all the chaos.
“YEAH! JOIN US!” Sparkpaw is screaming because everything is so chaotic.
Any body want to chanlenge that, cereal is a soup, a newcomer, willo steps op and asks.
“nah man i agree with you lol” dino laughs
“I do not agree. Soup is bad. Cereal is amazing. Hmm…” Sparkpaw holds up a bowl of cereal. “But don’t eat it. Cats are gluten intolerant.” Sparkpaw throws the bowl at a random falling cat because everyone’s trying to fly now.
Marb keeps summoning cinnamon rolls just to inhale all of them.