The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Sparkpaw leaps onto a Christmas tree she somehow hasn’t destroyed already and climbs to the top. “This tree is now the property of ShadowClan. But not the ground beneath it. Just the tree,” She meows. “Make me think otherwise.”
Primrosepaw grabs a giant fan and stands over at and begins flying “WHO DARE SAY CATS CAN’T FLY”
“I dare,” Sparkpaw destroys the now existent milk for the second time. Then she throws it at the fan. The milk.
Creations proceeds to become confused. Then it proceeds to grab a block of cheese and throws the cheese into the fan as well.
Lilacpaw is also confused, so she throws her sandwich into the fan as well
Shadedpaw thinks that this is some new trend, so they begin to throw their lunch at everything, including the fan.
Sandkit sends a C++ Cherryade waterfall at the fan and says, “Cats Can’t Fly”.
“According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a cat should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.” Marblerose says while wearing her peanut merch, then summons peanuts and dinosaurs everywhere and walks away.
Silverkit throws open the door dramatically. “I HAVE ARRIVED!” She announces, sitting down at a table. “Anyone wanna play Pixel perfect?”
“I do!” Shadedpaw, covered in scraps of food, yelled from across the room.
“sure” says dino. he forgot that this wasn’t just a page for complete and utter chaos. although this will definitely become chaos as well.
Wolfpaw walks grandly through the door, surveying the chaos with a nod. “Just like always…” He says to himself. He then proceeds to summon the long-extinct dinosaurs with his awesome magic powers and shoots melted cheese at everyone with a water gun.
dinosaurpaw is summouned also at the mention of dinosaurs
Hazelpage description: totally calm, not chaotic at all
Hazelpage comments: D E S T R U C T I O N. C H A O S. N O O N E I S S A F E F R O M S C OR C H M I S T’ S L I G H T S A B E R.
Wolfpaw sumons a lemon out of literally nowhere and climbs onto a table, using one leg to knock all the cats and food off of it. “BOW DOWN TO THE ALMIGHTY LEMON!!!” He shouts. “Or else?” Someone from the crowd shouts. ” Or else…OR ELSE HE’LL SUE YOU FOR ALL YOUR PIXELS AND PIECES OF CHEESE!” The cat who had spoken up in the crowd shrinks in terror, terrified at the thought of losing his pieces of cheese.
Marblerose finds the lemon and eats it, not even wincing at its sour taste. She then puts on her peanut merch, summons peanuts everywhere and shouts, “JOIN MY PEANUT WORSHIPPING CULT!”
Wolfpaw gasps dramatically, realizing the Almighty Lemon’s reign was over. He then summoned a banana. “THE ALMIGHTY BANANA SHALL RULE OVER THE UNIVERSE, DOMINATING EVERYTHING, INCLUDING THE PEANUT CULT!” He shouts, glaring at the peanut. He then shoots cheese at the peanuts with his cheese water gun and eats all of them.
Marblerose starts a peanut worshipping cult. She then walks onto the Hazelpage in her new peanut merch. “EVERYONE BOW DOWN TO THE MIGHTY PEANUTS!” she yells. “JOIN THE PEANUT WORSHIPPING CULT!”
dinosaurpaw looks around. all the picture frames in the tavern contain peanuts. he blinks and everyone is wearing peanut merch. he blinks again. everything is peanuts.
no one is safe
“BANANANANAS! ATTACK!” Wolfpaw shouts, ordering the army of bananananas to use their banananana powers to fight the peanuts.
“PEANUTS! ATTACK!” Marblerose shouts even louder, then orders her army of peanuts to use their peanut power to fight the bananananas back.
Wolfpaw wonders where all the chaos went and decides to un-rickroll peop-I mean cats.
“ALWAYS GONNA GIVE YOU UP
ALWAYS GONNA LET YOU DOWN (by a rope)
ALWAYS GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESSERT YOU (which one, you ask? Perhaps cookies and cream ice cream?)
ALWAYS GONNA MAKE YOU CRY
NOW I’M GONNA SAY GOODBYE
AND I’M GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU!!!!!!???!!!!!!”
Shadedpaw.. passes out.
Marblerose stares at passed out Shadedpaw.
“Oh no. Please don’t be dead,” she says, “my peanut worshipping cult needs you.”
After 59 seconds after Shadedpaw passed out, they wake up again and fast fowards time, enough for all the food in the tavern, including the banana and the peanuts. They robotically get up and says in a metallic voice:
“I am a high-tech baked potato stick. I declare that baked potato sticks are the most superior food ever existing. Anyone who dares to deny this fact will instantly be grossed out and saddened by watching a video of a gnome throwing up rainbows
(https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o2E2wLm_LlY
Fast forward to the end.) mixed with the our hero, the great potato stick(Yes, he is dead, we miss him very much. RIP). After that, they will be forbidden from eating any kinds of food forever.”
Creations attempts to pick up his trombone, but because they don’t know how to pick up a trombone as a cat, they proceed to yeet the trombone instead.
the trombone hits dinosaurpaw in the head.
dinosaurpaw is unhappy.
Marblerose sees how unhappy Dinosaurpaw is. She takes the trombone that lies next to him and turns it into a peanut.
The peanut suddenly sprouts wings and flies toward the light switch at the speed of light. Shadedpaw realises the danger and dives for the peanut, but misses it and crumples to the ground. The peanut hits the light switch and there is an explosion. Everything is dark.
Wolfpaw creates a glowing banana orb to light up the room, but accidentally eats it. “WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO???” He runs around screaming, causing panic in cats and dinosaurs alike.
While everything is dark, Marblerose smiles and laughs her best evil laugh. She knew what she had to do next. She grabs a flamethrower that was randomly lying next to her, and sets the entire Hazelpage up in flames. She then summons dinosaurs everywhere, then shapeshifts into a hawk and flies up high to watch everything that happens down.
Marblerose walks up to the bartender.
“Hi, can I get a uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”
The bartender appears to have passed out, so Shadedpaw replies instead.
“What’s an uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…?”
Marblerose continues uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhing.
Flamedove enters, declaring “I WANT A DRINK OF WATER! AND TO JOIN THE CHAOS! WHO’S WITH ME”
“I can get you some water,” Marblerose says, then gives Flamedove a glass of water. She grinned, knowing that Flamedove didn’t know that the water is actually a potion that made you a member of her peanut worshipping cult.
“Yum, peanuts–UH, I mean water. :)”
Marblerose laughs her best evil laugh. “MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Now you’re a member of my peanut worshipping cult!” She grins. “Now, let’s use our peanut powers to conquer the world!”
Flamedove screeches “PEANUTS FOREVER!” and then becomes a pheonix “CAWWWWW I WANT PEANUTS”
“I am with you!” Shadedpaw jumps onto the highest looking thing in the Hazelpage, and yelps as they realise it’s a piece of wood caught on fire.
“LETS GOOOO” Flamedove screeches