The Hazelpage

The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.

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[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]

Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.

Notice Board:
Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.

14,428 comments

  • Shadeleap (she/her) | Shade lit up by Leaping Flames | Shades, Shade, Shadey | Running for SW! says:

    Shadeleap bursts into view for the first time in, like, a month, and starts screaming. “GUYS SOMEBODY GET ME SOME FOOD BEFORE I LEAVE AGAIN!!!!!!”
    Angrily, she storms around the chaos for a while, frustrated that no one was getting her food >:(
    GUYS IM HUNGRY >:((((((((((((((

  • ” ‘SUP?’ ” An angry Whisie stomped int the Hazelpage. She snatched up a sandwich and threw it at the keeper of the store. “Food fight with nobody!” She screeched then hit herself in the face with some eggs.

    • “Lionpaw attempted to slice the eggs off of Fogpaw’s face with the netherite sword, but it only made the eggs bigger because it was enchanted with Maximizing IIIIIIIIIXIIVCIII

      • Fogpaw throws more eggs into every cat’s faces, making Lionpaw’s sword into a pancake

  • Icepaw makes an impenetrable fortress made of pancakes in the center of the Hazelpage. “WHO SHALL TRY TO INFILTRATE MY PANCAKE KINGDOM?” he shouts wildly.

    • 🌸Lilacpaw🌸🌷aka Lila🌷🪷Scorchmist's apprentice!🪷💜Months until running for SW count: 3💜 says:

      “I SHALL HELP WITH YOUR PANCAKE KINGDOM” Lilacpaw would yell and grab a bucket full of really thick maple syrup to use as concrete for the pancakes to stick together. “WE SHALL BE UNSTOPPABLE”

    • “I SHALL!” PanPan Panthi yowls. She runs over with a cat and yeets the poor guy towards Icepaw’s kingdom. One pancake comes loose. “NOOOOOO!” she yells crazily.

    • “no, toast is better!” dino yells, a toast castle foe=rimg around him. toast soldiers rush forward to attack icepaw’s pancakes

      • “PANCAKE CYBORGS, DEFEND MY KINGDOM FROM THE TOAST ARMY!” Icepaw shouts, building said cyborgs at the speed of a very fast turtle. The cyborgs then proceed to run around in circles, confused, but somehow still creating a good defense.

        • dinosaurpaw uses dinosaur cookie cutters to make dinosaur toast. the dinosaur toast runs forward as backup.

    • Wolfpaw is disgusted by anything other than banananananas ruling over the world, and creates a banananananana castle while eating a banananananana. He then throws banananananana peels everywhere so that random cats who had commited the crime of looking at him would slip on them “LET THE NUMBER OF ANA’S VARY EVERY TIME I USE THE WORD BANANANANANA!!!” He shouts.

  • The front door swings open and a powerful gust of wind surges into the room, accompanied by a shrill whistle. A shadowy figure stands at the entrance, measuring only 3 feet in height. A pair of goggles are strapped over his head, sand caking the lens so that his eyes are hard to make out behind them. His mouth is covered by a thick, wool scarf.

    Stepping into the room on his two hind legs, the door shuts behind him. He lifts his goggles above his eyes and pulls the scarf down to his neck, his two cat ears perking up. His tail uncurls itself from behind him to reach the floor, then sweeps away the dust he tracked in.

    Walking over to the register, he says in a heavy New York accent, “‘Ey, one grilled cheese sandwich and a Snapple, stat.” He flips a coin into the tip jar, then proceeds to awkwardly say, in a normal, teenaged voice, “Haha, just kidding! I don’t actually talk like that. Name’s Deftfoot. Thanks for having me.”

      • “Were you, uh, in line? ‘Cause I already ordered.” I shuffle out of the way and look around the place in awe.

          • “AHH! She disarmed me! Ahsjandbeis” *stumbles back in shock and turns to Dinopaw to hear what he’s telling me*

        • “no, i just wanted to say hi” dinosaur says
          “also look out there’s like at least three different wars going on so you might need either an impenetrable fortress, invincibility or an underground bunker. speaking of wars do you want to help me destroy icepaw’s pancake fortress?”

          • “Oh, hi! Sure, let’s do it! Just give me a min—” *stands still and then starts gagging out of no where. Coughs out a massive sword covered in fur balls and picks it up* “I always have one in there for safekeeping! It has tech in it that can’t let it be stolen. So, where’s the fight?!”

          • Icepaw darts forward and rushes in front of dinosaurpaw. “Don’t listen to him,” He tells deftfoot. “Pancakes are way better than toast, right? That’s why you should help me. You would be a valuable asset in the pancake-toast war.”

            • “I ASKED HIM FIRST ICEPAW YOU SNEAK” yells dino, drawing his toast sword.

              • “ACK!” Icepaw shouts, narrowly blocked the toast sword with his pancake shield. “PANCAKE CYBORGS, RETREAT!” He shouts before running into his kingdom and locking the door.

  • Lightsavers can destroy anything. I ALREADY DID THAT DIDN’T YOU READ MY OTHER COMMENTS?
    *get a 8 sided lightsaver sword, a purple lightsaver proof suit, and the Elder Wand*
    SLYTHERINCLAN IS THE RULER HERE BECAUSE WE’RE GREAT AND I HAVE NINE LIVES.
    *teleports everyone to the Pokemon World, and gets her status as Elite Four Member Eve, along with her one-shot K.O. Pokemon Pikachu, Lucario, Charizard, Gardevoir, Lunala, and Hisuian Arcanine*
    RIO, ROSE, ZIPPO! MEGA EVOLVE! RIO, USE AURA SPHERE! ARCKY, USE FLARE BLITZ, FRENZY PLANT AND STONE EDGE! NEPTUNE USE MOONGEIST BEAM! SPARKY USE IRON BOLT BALL! ZIPPO USE FIRE PUNCH! ROSE USE PSYCHIC! ATTACK AT FULL POWER!

  • The door burst open and Skypaw walked in. “GIVE ME SOME COKE!” She yelled. Skypaw used the Force to make magic Rick Astleys appear out of nowhere to destroy the toast castle and the pancake castle but she only managed to get them to run around in circles. “AUGH DANGIT” She screamed.

  • “It seems the pancake-toast-peanut war has reached three sides…” Icepaw thinks out loud. “I must recruit new allies, and develop a strategy.” He decides to create the Pancake-Avengers, and goes around asking people to join him.

    • dino, fitted out in a full suit of toast armour, rushes forth. “DON’T JOIN PANCAKES JOIN TOAST! WE ARE TO BE THE KNIGHTS OF THE TOASTED TABLE (i’m sorry i couldn’t think of anything else)!”

  • Solarflare slides into the room, and takes a seat in a quiet corner with a book. After the long, stressful day, she’s tired and ready to relax with a nice book – Toilet-bound Hanako-kun book 4. She opens it to page 24 and begins to read, listening to the distant chatter of nearby people and the soft music floating around the room. She smiles, content.

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