The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Harpy Wynn gobbles some caramel popcorn from a distance, watching the factions fight while trying to create the *blacksaber* because they think the disney+ Star Wars shows are overrated aside from Clone Wars and some others.
dinosaurfirebee looks around nervously
“um, hi!” she mumbles
“does anyone remember me?” she asks, fiddling with her massive paws
“I used to be Moonshade…”
“Hey, Moonshade, or should I say, Firebee! We’re on a brink of war, but why don’t we have a cup of tea?” Harpy Wynn asks, looking at dinosaurfirebee.
“Hi!” Icepaw greets firebee. “Would you like to join the pancake avengers? We have a really cool pancake fortress, but you’ll have to fight in the war against toast and peanuts and banananas and hashbrowns. Yeah, this really has spiraled out of hand.”
Hatchet blinks as he looks at the battle then smiles running towards pancake kingdom.
“I HATE TOAST! PANCAKES ARE WAY BETTER! TOAST IS BLEH! I also hate bread with seeds so. . . ” He spawns 44 pancakes out of no where and gobbles them down then spawns more and flings them like frisbees
“What’s wrong with toast?” Flamepaw asks.
Creations proceeds to turn into bread.
“HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY BRETHREN.”
“Welcome to the pancake-avengers.” Icepaw says to hatchet.
“DO YOUR DUOLINGO!” Harpy Wynn screams, reviving Duolingo the dragon she created pages ago, and yes, it’s supposed to be a pun.
“NEVER!!” Screams Loonsong, committing arson and burning a pile of Duolingo bird stuffed animals. “I will never continue my Italian lesson” she whispers
Duolingo randomly steps in to the room, going directly toward Loonsong. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” The giant green bird says. *Shows duolingo meme* “SPANISH OR VANISH!”
Loonsong screams
“Then I shall bring forth the most cursed ship of them all!” shouts Loonsong. She drops her voice down to a whisper. “Duolingo bird x Hooty”
“NOOOO!” Roars
ArsonFlamepaw. “The Duolingo owl is eeeeeeeeeviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllllllllllll and kidnaps your dog and bombs your house when you sign up!! It’s why I do CONJUGUEMOS!!!!!!!!!!!” She yells maniacally. She stops yelling for a moment, thinking. “But you can bomb my friend Lilyclaw’s house. SHE does Duolingo but never does her Spanish too much. And you know what they say: Spanish or vanish.”Icepaw goes back in time and distracts leafpaw with his distraction dance for long enough to move his kingdom into the sky, out of reach of the lightsaver, then puts an invincible pancake-avengers only forcefield around his kingdom, and then returns to the present.
Minecrafter Skypaw walks in and slams the door behind her. “GIVE ME SOME COKE!” She waved her Netherite sword. “OR ELSE I DESTROY THIS TAVERN WITH MY RAVAGERS!” She waited at a table while reading the 10th KotLC book she got from the future. “AND NO DIET COKE! ONLY NORMAL COKE!”
Icepaw throws a coke towards skypaw. “Welcome to the Hazelpage,” he tells her. “Be careful out here, it’s pretty dangerous. You could easily get caught up in a pancake-toast-peanut-banana-hashbrown war… like me. Anyway, Enjoy your coke, and know the pancake-avengers are always open to new recruits.”
“ARSON!” Screams Loonsong, while riding on the back of a fire-breathing dragon. “ALL HAIL BORK!”
“Guys….” Wolfpaw says fearfully while eating a banananana dipped in cheese. “IT’S AN ARSONIST!!!!!!” He then begins to throw banananananas at the dragon. “LET PANCAKE, TOAST, AND BANANANANA LOVERS UNITE AGAINST THE ARSONIST!”
“YES,” Icepaw shouts, really not wanting to get burnt today. “LET US UNITE!” He then proceeds to throw pancakes at the dragon like frisbees. “WHO SHALL AID US IN THIS LEGENDARY BATTLE?” He asks, staring straight at the toast, peanut, and hashbrown kingdoms.
Loonsong’s dragon turns into the Duolingo bird. “Haha! Fools!” It says in ten different languages. “You can not kill Duolingo! IT’S FRENCH OF THE TRENCH!!”
He proceeds to get hit in the face with french toast. (Get the joke?) and dies. “Naur!!” He screams “Kleor!” (Mako-mermaids reference)
Loonsong proceeds to drop the toast, peanut and hashbrown kingdoms into the abyss.
“NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Flamepaw yells. “ARSON IS LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SHALL JOIN YOU, LOONSONG, SEEING AS I’M A LOYAL MEMBER OF ARSONCLAN AND OBSESSED WITH ARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She pauses. “But I DO like toast. BUT I LIKE ARSON WAY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (edit: I can still edit!!)
Wolfpaw clears his throat. “Who wants to help me defend my banananananana castle against those pathetic pancakes and toast?” He shouts to everyone in the room, casually throwing another cat into the pot of cheese.
“Not me,” Marblerose says, still in front of her peanut fortress.
*Does a front flip and lands on his side of the castle* I’ll help!
*Polarecho would sit in the midst of all this chaos, tryna think of a meme of her own lmaooo*
*Duolingo bird appears.*
“POLARECho, you haven’t taken you r French lessons today*EVILGRIN* come on before I find out what cat tastes like..”
Polarecho would bare her teeth at the green owl.
“NAH MANNN< HARD PASSS< I DONT WANNU LEARN FRENCH."
THe green chicken whirls around and frowns,
"Very well,"
The world goes dark as duo squeezes the light out of Polarecho…
Shadow sits in the corner of the tavern, eyeing the Duolingo green chicken’s bloodstained table. She shakes her head sadly as she flips the next page of her book, all while taking a sip of a mix of all the different drinks she ordered *cause why not*. Shadow is confused over the strange ways of the Hazelpage tavern, but then again, she is confused about many things in life…
Shadow laughs at the Duolingo bird suddenly, smiling:
“But you do not have Elvish from LotR, do you, BIRD?”
The green chicken thingy turns towards Shadow, flapping its wings in anger
“How dare you, you– you–” it stutters.
“And now the only language you speak is war,” Shadow growls, bearing her pearly white fangs, “so I challenge you to a DUOL!”
*laughs uneasily at a failed attempt at making a joke and takes another drink of her rainbow drink thingy*
“What’s happened?” Spirit says awkwardly, awaking from her long, stressful unconsciousness. “What’s all this colour?” She says bleakly, staggering toward the bar before saying , “Two shots of milk, please and one expresso of chocolate.”
Roselet has transformed into Rosechilla. She wonders why the blog is now suddenly yellow. And why has everyone turned into chinchillas? She shrugs and starts pranking everyone in the Hazelpage for April fools day.
Haha