The Hazelpage

The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.

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[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]

Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.

Notice Board:
Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.

14,430 comments

  • Sunflight || Sun Flying Across the Sky || Sunni, Sunno || She/They || Mentor to the Incredible Blackpaw! says:

    “Hello!” Sunflight shouted. “Sincere apologies for this. I shall end arson with more arson!” She proceedes to set each flamethrower in the room on fire and destroys them. “MWAHAHAHA!!!”

    • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Newleaf Sun || 🏳‍🌈 Happy Pride Month! 🏳‍🌈 says:

      “Eh, that’s fine,” Flamepaw shrugs, pulling a bunch of new flamethrowers out of her pocket. “I have more! Plus, I can start fires with my mind!” she cackles, setting more things on fire.

      • “You don’t need flamethrowers to start a fire! Use matches or gasoline instead! Or you can use your mind, like Flamepaw said!” Hazypaw said cheerfully and added, “Plus, Flamepaw has infinite flamethrowers.” She says and takes one of flamepaw’s flamethrowers and yet again went crazy with it.
        “ARRSSOOOONN!!” She screeched, breaking everyone’s ears.

        • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Summer Warmth|| 🏳‍🌈 Happy Pride Month from your favorite aroace arsonist! 🏳‍🌈 || ✨ HAMILTON ADDICT ✨ says:

          :000 EVIL ORGANIZATIoN :0000 That is genus 😮

          • YES GENIUS
            I AM WANTED IN EVERY STATE I HAVE EVER BEEN IN.
            AND ONCE I ENTER A NEW ONE, I AM IMMEDIATELY WANTED :D.
            so I’m wanted in PA, NY, NJ, FL, GA, SC, NC, and a few others I forgot existed.
            right now, I am currently hiding on Pluto, trying to hide from the FBI 😀 /j

  • Captain padded into the inn, a mischievous glimmer in her amber eyes. Scanning the scene of fire and flames, her eyes lit up when she found what she was looking for. Carefully navigating through the chaos, she made her way to a wall.

    My guitar. It’s been too long…

    Gently plucking the instrument from the wall, she gripped the strap with her mouth and tentatively pulled it over her head.

    “Now,” she meowed with endless enthusiasm in her voice. “Who would like to join me in starting a villain arc?”

    She reinforces the request by strumming the first few notes of a potential villain song from the guitar that was conveniently, albeit magically plugged into a speaker.

    • “I’LL JOIN!! but only if I can commit arson.” Hazypaw told her from inside the smoke.
      she stuck her head out and watched him play guitar, before turning around and yet again, started going crazy with the flamethrower.
      “ARSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNN!!”

    • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Summer Warmth|| 🏳‍🌈 Happy Pride Month from your favorite aroace arsonist! 🏳‍🌈 || ✨ HAMILTON ADDICT ✨ says:

      “WELL HELLO THERE,” Flamepaw says as she appears out of nowhere. “I WOULD LOVE TO DO VILLAINY AND COMMIT CRIMES. I MEAN, I AM A WANTED ARSONIST, TAX FRAUD COMMITTER, AND FELON IN OVER 79 COUNTRIES, 51 U.S. STATES, I THINK ALL OF THE U.S. TERRITORIES–” she pauses for a second. “I also think I might be wanted on a few of Jupiter’s moons? I know I’m definitely wanted on Mercury and Venus. Somehow my face isn’t on wanted posters on my home planet of Mars yet.” She shrugs. “EITHER WAYYYYY, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO JOIN YOUR VILLAINY CULT THINGY. Oh, and the 51st state is East Virginia. I mean, they have a West Virginia, so why not an East Virginia? Y’know?” she says while burning literally whatever goes near her, regardless of what it is or was.

  • Hatchet the Jokeinator making up the chaotic storm everyone loves. Bunny that jumps over Hatchet into patch of flakes(Flakepatch, mentor of AMAZING Ghostpaw!) says:

    The door opens…
    An over energetic cat pops in…
    You remember it as Flakepaw…

    “Not anymore I’m not! As of 2 months ago, which I wasnt here then, I became Flakepatch!” Wow a warrior for 2 months already almost 3. His overenergeticness makes him run and get a diet coke and the biggest dish of stir fryed rice because yes.
    “This is the life. I missed this place!” Hatchet smiles
    “How yall doin! Been some time since Ive been to the Hazelpage! Oh. Hello there Captain! I’m not a villain cat, i’m a hero cat more so no thank you but your request will call for a good vs evil thingy which means chaos and Hatchet loves Chaos!”

    • Hazypaw stared at where Loonsong had disappeared.
      “Okay then.” She whispered before disappearing back into the smoke and yet again started going crazy with the flamethrower.

    • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Summer Warmth|| 🏳‍🌈 Happy Pride Month from your favorite aroace arsonist! 🏳‍🌈 || ✨ HAMILTON ADDICT ✨ says:

      “Arson indeed,” Flamepaw clarifies.

      • At this point, Silentpaw enters. “ I swear I will murder the one with no obsession with arson,” she hissed, and a dragon shot a blast of fire at her. “ From now on Flamepaw and her flamethrowers belong to ME. So does the abyss. This place belongs to fire.”

        • She grabs a flamethrower and tosses it at Hazypaw. “I will feed everyone to the flames! ARSON SHALL BE ENDED WITH MORE ARSON! COME ON FLAMEPAW GIVE ME YOUR MIND SO I CAN SET FIRES.” She cackled nastily. Her eerie blue eyes burned like cold flames, and her dragon roared.

          • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Summer Warmth|| ✨ HAMILTON ADDICT ✨ || Running for deputy! 🫶 says:

            “Hi,” Flamepaw says. “Um. I’d rather not kill arson with arson. But I like the attitude!”

          • “Thanks, do you have another dragon? If not I’ll just use this flamego creature I just created. OR I COULD USE BOTH!” A giant creature with sharp teeth and claws with fire coming out of its tail. “Or I could go into the pokemon world and find a Charzard (how do you spell that???).” she added and disappeared.
            A moment she reappeared with a Charzard (idk how to spell that so I’m just gonns leave it like this) behind her.

  • Skypaw blasts the door open with her laser rifle. “Okayyyy…” she says, confused about the chaos unfolding in front of her. She quickly tapes a poster on the wall saying “Flamepaw/spirit; Wanted. 50 000$ prize”, then slowly backs away, out the door. Of course, no one pays attention to the poster.

    • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Summer Warmth|| ✨ HAMILTON ADDICT ✨ says:

      “Oh well wouldja look at that,” Flamepaw says as she stares at the wanted poster. “I’m wanted here too, along with Guam, Quebec, I think Egypt, oh and I’m pretty sure Vatican City too, which means I’m most likely wanted in Italy too, and I know I’m wanted in the U.S., all 51 states, and I think Spain, Mexico, most of Central America…” She smiles. “And now I’m wanted here! That’s a great addition to the list! And for fifty-thousand dollars! Nice! I’m worth a lot more than my brother! He’s worth maybe 5 cents, and I think that’s because of inflation.”

  • 🌊 Holzie 🌊 | 💫 Hollypaw/stream, she/her 🦖 | 🌌 Holly That Grows By Stream 🌌 | 🐯 The ultimate Calvin and Hobbes fan! 🪐 says:

    “MWAHAHAHAAA,” Hollypaw mwhahas. “I’M AN APPRENTICE NOW, WHICH MEANS…” Hollypaw pauses. “Actually, that doesn’t mean anything. Anyways, arson.” She then proceeds to hoist up her flamethrower and proves that bread is flammable.

    • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Summer Warmth|| ✨ HAMILTON ADDICT ✨ says:

      “Arson!” Flamepaw says, giving HollyPAW ( 😉 ) a nod of approval. “If it’s flammable, it’s my best friend.”

        • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Summer Warmth|| ✨ HAMILTON ADDICT ✨ || Running for deputy! 🫶 says:

          Flamepaw waves at Reedpaw as fire starts to bombard her. “Well, this is pleasant,” she says as she sits down and eats a piece of arson bread.

  • Dewpaw / - Fern | needs mentor | s/h | New to Blogclan | Clicky - Clicky!| https://blogclan.katecary.co.uk/cropped-blogclan-1-png/ says:

    The black she-cat known as Dewpaw stares at her table, which was now a pile of smoking ashes, and proceeds to electrify all flamethrowers with her mind. “That’s why you don’t disturb a ghost-seer” she clarifies, and hisses at a ghost who was trying to hit her on the head with the leg of her table, which had strangely survived the burning, afterwards, she snatches a loaf of bread, puts it on fire, and says “it is now an Atomic Bread.” and throws it on Flamepaw, on whom the brea- ATOMIC Bread – Explodes.

    • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Summer Warmth|| ✨ HAMILTON ADDICT ✨ || Running for deputy! 🫶 says:

      “Ooh, more bread!” Flamepaw cheers as the atomic bread explodes. “Man, I bet there’ll be some radiation from that, so we should probably move it. I myself eat uranium and lead and I’m immune to radiation, but I dunno if everyone else is…” she smiles. “I love how I’m always targeted,” she says as she continues to get pelted by atomic bread and fire and other things that she’s not sure she wants to know what they are.

      • Ravenpaw, previously known as Dewpaw, lifts an eyebrow at Flamepaw, and continues to pelt her with Atomic breads which were appearing from nowhere since she doesn’t know where to get it from.

  • Icemeadow opens the doors, and awkwardly dances inside. He sits down, and orders a root beer. It had been a while since he had been to the hazelpage, and it seems arson had fully taken over. “Ah, I’ve missed this place.” He says, talking to himself, before pulling out a flamethrower and jumping on the table, laughing maniacally as he burns everything in sight.

    • Silv can’t remember when she was last on the Hazelpage, so she smiles joyfully when she notices all the burning things and people with flamethrowers.
      “This seems fun,” she says, pulling out a pack of matches.
      Flamepaw is running across the room spilling gasoline everywhere.
      Silverdusk casually strikes the match and drops it, lighting the entire room on fire.
      “Oops.”

      • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Summer Warmth|| ✨ HAMILTON ADDICT ✨ || Running for deputy! 🫶 || 💖 Happy Disability Pride Month! 💖 says:

        “WHAT DO YOU MEAN OOPS?” Flamepaw objects. “THERE IS NO ‘OOPS’ WHEN IT COMES TO ARSON!!!! THAT IS NOT AN OOPS!! THAT IS AMAZING TALENT YOU HAVE THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

        • Emberpaw/shine | Embers Shining Through the Night | Emb, Emms, Emmy | 📖 📚 🐈‍⬛ | She/her says:

          “Why, thank you,” smiles Emberpaw as she walks into the room. “Y’know, I’ve never come here, so I must show you my true talent.”

          Immediately she pulls out her bow and lights and arrow on fire. With deadly accuracy, she shoots everything (non-living) in sight, adding to the chaos and destruction.

    • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Summer Warmth|| ✨ HAMILTON ADDICT ✨ || Running for deputy! 🫶 || 💖 Happy Disability Pride Month! 💖 says:

      Basically it’s the tavern but kind of like a roleplay with your own purrsona and much much much more chaotic 😛

      • “Yes uh VERY chaotic, for example, Flamepaw is wanted in about 51 us states, and some more countries I forgot existed because I forget that a lot of things exist” Meowed Hazypaw as she proceeded to pelt random cats with pieces of arson bread.

  • Sunheart flicks an ear then slams her glass down on the table.
    “Ay Jimmy! The arsons are at it again!” she swiveled her chair around.
    “One’s holding some sort of atomic bread. That’s new.”
    Sunheart ducked her head as a flaming arrow wizzed by her ear.

    • Hazypaw looked at the arrow that had almost hit Sunheart. “Clover, don’t shoot arrows at random cats that aren’t even a part of the battle!” She told her new Flamego creature she had just named on the spot. It looked at her sadly and went back to doing arson.
      “Sorry, she’s crazy, like most of the… creatures around here.” She said, looking at the dragon shooting blue fire everywhere. “Anyways, bye!”

    • Flamepaw/spirit || Ospreysplash's awesome apprentice!! || She/her || Arson is life || Spirit of Flaming Arson in Summer Warmth|| ✨ HAMILTON ADDICT ✨ || Running for deputy! 🫶 || 💖 Happy Disability Pride Month! 💖 says:

      “Actually, the atomic bread’s pretty good!” Flamepaw says as she catches another piece as it gets hurled at her. “And us ‘arsons’ are at it a lot,” she winks.