The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Kli recently came out of her hiding spot. “OKAY WHAT IS HAPPENING HOW MANY SIDES ARE THERE WHOSE SIDE AM I ON BECAUSE LAST TIME I CHECKED IT WAS CATNIP BUT NOW THERE ARE NEW SIDES SO IDK AND SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN.” She screams.
YES PLEASE PAGE FLIP
Silvs bites her lip and begins to recite the different sides.
“Catnip, wolfclan, triple-h, three caballeros, starwars, crayon, TADC, and uhmmm this is all i can remember right now. I’m on catnip and wolf side, currently triple h and crayon side are allied, catnip, tadc and I think the wolfclan side is allied because twisted is on the wolfclan and catnip side and so am I uh…”
“HAMILTON! HAMILTON! HAMILTON! JOIN TRIPLE-H!” Brindlenose randomly appears for the first time ever. She grins and runs around wildly. “HAMILTON! HAMILTON!” She yowls, eyes wide. Brindlenose FINALLY sits down, panting after her wild actions.
“FLAMILTON!!!” She screeches after calming down a bit. Brindlenose lets out a growl and yowls again. “FLAMILTON! WE MUST CONQUER THE WORLD WITH HAMILTON!”
She begun chanting once again. “HAMILTON! HAMILTON! HAMILTON! COME ON, JOIN MY CHANT FLAMILTON! HAMILTON! HAMILTON!”
Brindlenose stops and stares directly at Kli. “Join Triple-H for Hamilton or else I will get King George III to kill your friends and family.” She runs off, switching between LOUDLY singing: “I will kill your friends and family… to remind you of my love!” and chanting LOUDLY: “HAMILTON! HAMILTON! HAMILTON!”
Robo joins in, throwing Husker plushies around.
Silvs yeets Brinn (can I call you that?) into outer space.
“YAY!!!” Brindlenose screams in being obsessed with space. “MERCURY VENUS EARTH MARS JUPITER SATURN URANUS NEPTUNE PLUTO KEPLER-121B!” She memorizes the planets in our solar system before randomly stating her favorite exoplanet last. “FLAMILTON SAVE ME WITH OUR AWESOME HAMILTON POWERS!!” Brindlenose yowls obnoxiously. A new star appears in the sky. “I AM NOW BRINDLE-748B!” She screams, then reappears because she’s too cool to die. 😎 (Also, of course you can call me Brinn! Anything appropriate is fine to call me.)
Foampaw hears King George III and materializes in front of Bindlenose, proceeding to gently smack her in the nose with her staff. “You mean King Foamy III, darling- but I agree! We have to take over BlogClan with Hamilton!” “AND STOP SINGING MY CATCHY SONG!” He yowls. “Only I get to do that.”
“Ouch!” Brindlenose jokes after having reappeared from outer space. (glares at Silv) “OF COURSE I MEAN KING FOAMY III!” She cheers. Brindlenose then flinches. “Sorry for singing your song!” She squeals. “It’s catchy! I’ll use the one Hamilton goes ‘BLEH’ in then!” She walks in a circle, singing loudly “The World Was Wide Enough”. “LEGACY, WHAT IS A LEGACY?!” She screams, and blinks at her fellow Hamilfans to continue helping her sing the awesome song.
Rosepaw starts screaming the Legend Of The Three Caballeros theme song at the top of her lungs, even thought it’s not as catchy as the original song…
“You are still on the catnip side so uhh.. we’re allies” caine spins in the air with the tadc hat
“SO,” Lionpaw mews expertly. “The current sides are: Crayons, but they kinda faded away, the Star Wars peeps, the TADC (Amazing Digi Circus) side, the Catnips, and the *obviously supreme* Triple-H side, feauturing Hamilfans and Hazbinites alike (yes I just named the hazbin peeps)!” She pushes up her nerd glasses. “According to my calculations, the Triple-H’s have better chances of winning because they have more people, better references, and music, while the others only have catnip, Jax, and grilled crayons.”
“AND BECAUSE HAMILTON IS THE BEST, OBVIOUSLY!” Brindlenose yowls, after having reappeared from being yeeting into outer space by Silvs although the new star “Brindle-48B” is still out there because “yes”. “ROBO, LIONPAW, FLAMILTON, KING FLOAMY III, WITH ME!” She calls her fellow Hamilfans obnoxiously loud (because when I scream, I scream VERY VERY loud 😅). “1776! NEW YORK CITY! PARDON ME, ARE YOU AARON BURR, SIR?” Brindlenose grins as she waits for the Hamilfans to continue the song.
Flamilton magictastically appears from the shadows. “THAT DEPENDS, WHO’S ASKING?!”
“THAT DEPENDS WHOS ASKING!” Lionpaw shouts
“OH WELL SURE SIR! MY NAME IS ALEXANDER HAMILTON, I’M AT YOUR SERVICE SIR! I HAVE, BEEN, LOOKING FOR, YOU!” Brindlenose scream-sings.
(P.S. “Lionerdo DiCaprio” help I can’t…. I’m DYING of laughter. Why is it so funny for no reason?!?!)
“I’m gEtTInG nERvoUs…” Flamilton quotes excitedly.
Sir, I heard your name at Princeton, I was seeking an accelerated course of study
When I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours”
“Sir, I heard your name at Princeton, I was seeking an accelerated course of study, when I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours…I may have punched him, it’s a blur, sir. He handles the financials?”
you punched the bursar???
“. . .” Brindle-Burr blinks awkwardly. “ Yes..! I wanted to do what you did, graduate in two, then join the revolution
He looked at me like I was stupid, I’m not stupid
So how’d you do it? How’d you graduate so fast?” She sings.
(HI PINEEE!!! i didn’t realize uve heard Hamilton!!!)
(hehe it’s funny bc my most recent instagram post has a hamilton quote as its caption :p)
YES
…Yes. I wanted to do what you did, graduate in two, then join the revolution.
He looked at me like I was stupid, I’m not stupid.
(Hehe I’m a jack dawson simp)
(My stupid but then again smart brain understands “Lionerdo DiCaprio” but not the rest of your name.)
“THAT DEPENDS, WHO’S ASKING?” Foampaw yowls along with the crowd of her fellow members of the triple H army.
“Youar WRONG tadc and cat nip are better” Caine munches on a catnip cookie
(doctor who lore now)
Nova comes in the TARDIS and says “hmmm i wish there were a way to end this war”
(although there will NEVER be a way to end it) she time travels to the time when the war started. “what now?”
“who are you?” asks a voice and someone comes out from behind the shadows.
“NOOO!” Brindlenose wails. “DON’T END THE WAR!” She begins to yowl-sing Hamilton lines. “I WISH THERE WAS A WAR THAT WE COULD PROVE WE’RE MORE THAN ANYONE BARGAINED FOR!”
Creams from the past looks at her (this is the time before she starts the war just cause she said she loves tadc) ( YES i DID start the WAR)
“SO,” Lionpaw mews expertly. “The current sides are: Crayons, but they kinda faded away, the Star Wars peeps, the TADC (Amazing Digi Circus) side, the Catnips, and the *obviously supreme* Triple-H side, feauturing Hamilfans and Hazbinites alike (yes I just named the hazbin peeps)!” She pushes up her nerd glasses. “According to my calculations, the Triple-H’s have better chances of winning because they have more people, better references, and music, while the others only have catnip, Jax, and grilled crayons.”
“Yeah we do!” says Robo as she throws confetti around.
“We’re just cooler.” Brindlenose says simply. “Especially since we have Hamilton.”
(P.S. My opinions on Hamilton are STRONG. lol)
King Foamy pulls out a pie chart signaling the amount of members in each group. “As you can see here, the members in our army overpower the ones in the TADC army, or any other army!” They exclaim. “The evidence is undeniable!”
yeah, overpower by 1 member /lhj
“At least she admits we’re better.” Lionpaw smirks, Keefe-style.
Silvs gives free chocolate chip cookies to everyone. “I’m so tired of all this battling :’] when is it gonna stop?” Silvs watches the triple-h team blow up some bombs. “I suppose never.”
“yeah, hoping it’ll end is too much to ask for,” Ammie materializes beside Silvs, grabs her popcorn, and then fades away.
“though catnip will surely win.”
realest thing I’ve seen today /lhj
“It probaly won’t” Caine flues in the air
“WE’RE NEVER GONNA STOP UNTIL WE MAKE YOU DROP AND BURN UP AND SCATTER YOUR REMAINS! /lhj ” raps Lionpaw, donning a cheesy french Daveed Diggs impression.
“HELLO CAN I GET A SIDE OF HEMLOCK AND A DOUBLE CATNIP SANDWICH with extra of those red berries please,” Sunpaw asks innocently. “It’s for my birthday!”
“CATNIP?!” Brindlenose roars. “NO CATNIP! JOIN THE TRIPLE-H SIDE NOW! WE DON’T LIKE THE CATNIP TEAM!” She screams, as that’s what she mostly does (I actually scream A LOT irl).
Silv hands Sunpaw a double catnip sandwich. “Sorry, we don’t have hemlock or death berries (yes ik) but want some catnip cookies? They make you do better on exams! Plus they are SO delicious!”
Pumpkinpaw spawns out of nowhere with the hemlock, double catnip sandwich, with extra EXTRA red berries, her contract and special cookies. She hands Sunpaw’s order to them and starts her business pitch. “Hello! I see you like catnip, would you like to join the most superior side, aka the catnip army? Join us and your soul won’t be taken, like the Triple-H’s do. And…” she whispers, holding out the most delicious cookie ever. “We have free cookies! Packed with catnip! We won’t obliterate you and defeat you if you join our side! :DD”
“No!” Brindle-Burr buts in. “We don’t take your soul and fill it with lies like the Catnip and TADC sides!” Burr blinks. “Join Triple-H, and we can conquer the world with our awesomeness! Plus, we have Hazbin Hotel, Harry Potter, AND LAST AND CERTAINTLY BEST, HAMILTON!!!”
“Plus, we have Burr, me! And Flamilton. Oh! And King Floamy III. This is more than you could ever ask for!”
Foampaw does a little happy dance in the backround as they always do when someone mentions their name. “AND we have ice cream! Who doesn’t like ice cream!” She yells, trying to help seal the deal.
“AND CHLORINE WATER!” she screams.
“hello, welcome to McDonald’s! how may I take your order?” greets Storm (my wolf OC) “yeah I can do your order, although I’m not sure about the berries….” he looks at the order and takes the berries off. “yeah, as I said not sure about the berries. he was about to pass it to sunpaw when –
Brindlenose storms in with a pawful of bright red berries, almost gleaming. “DEATH BERRIES, AT YOUR COMMAND!” She roars.
She pauses. “Oh, wait. You said ‘red berries’, not ‘death berries’. . .” Brindlenose shrinks back with an uneasy laugh. “Ah… haha.. ha..” She edges away. “Erm… well, I uh… better get going..! See you..!” She disappears into space as Brindle-487b and waits for a purpose to come back.
“Can i have a bote of you sandwhich? And i WON’T destruye you, just cause it’s your b-day” sets Caine
Koi blinks. “How long has this war been going on…” Using their time travel machine, they travel back in time to the beginning of the war.
“I BELIEVE THIS WAS THE BEGINNING!! https://blogclan.katecary.co.uk/the-hazelpage/comment-page-187/#comment-1875409”
(but seriously, and it took me like 5 minutes 😭)
“By my calculations, the longest lasting sides of the war are the Triple-H’s, the TADC side, and- if they still exist- the crayon side!!”
“Page 187-204 I think. . .” Brindlenose puts on her glasses. “🤓👆 According to my calculations, this war has been going on for approximately 17 pages! Almost 20.”
“Anyways,” Brindlenose blinks. “Who’s side are you on, Koi? I’m on the best one, of course, Triple-H, since it has Hamilton!!!”
“did you borrow my TARDIS to do this?” asked nova.
“Ser! I DID start the war, also i should open my smoothie stand again” Caine opens her stand again “COME ONE COME ALL! NEW SMOOTHIE FAVOR!! CATNIP-TADC SMOOTIE!! COME BUY IT!!”
“I TOLD YOU I STARTED A WAR!” Foampaw mewed at literally no one.
Even out of all her chaoticness, Brindlenose finally sits down and begins to ponder for real for ONCE. She thinks and thinks, eyes narrowed in concentration. “Y’know, I’ve been thinkin’,” she stated, blinking and looking around. “What are we doing with our life? Having a (fun) WAR? Being chaotic for no reason?” She begins to rethink her lif choices. “Yeah,” she grins. “I’m content with my decisions in life. TRIPLE-H FOREVER!!!”
(P.S. I am now Burr (since Brindle and Burr both start with B. >:D Now one of my nicknames is an odd combination of Brin and Burr: Brirr. Anyone got some suggestions on how to make a better Brindle/Brin/Bri/etc + Burr name as awesome and cool or close to as awesome as cool as King Floamy III and Flamilton???)
“Can somebody please clarify what the Triple-Hs are?” Ammie asks. “I have no clue what it is.”
( actual question here, guys. :0 )
Triple h means Hamilton+Hazbin Hotel
“Hamilton, Hazbin, and I think Harry Poawter combined.” Brindlenose announciates the ‘Potter’ oddly.
“Three H’s, triple. So, Triple-H! Join our team, please!! We’re going to CONQUER THE WORLD!” Brindlenose exclaims excitedly.
“The Triple-H’s are the Hamilfans and Hazbinites!” Lionpaw explains. (Basically Hamilton and Hazbin Hotel lovers <3)
(Well, the three H’s stand for Hamilton and Hazbin Hotel, and the Triple-H side is the war side in which all fans of either Hamilton or HH (or both!) plot against the other sides, particularly the catnip side! :DD /lh)
Caine trows a bomb at Burr ” NO TIME FOR THINKING”
“WATCH IT!” Brindlenose roars. She throws a bomb about to explode right at Creamypaw.
“5! 4! 3! 2! 1!” The bomb blew up, but no explosives. “CONFETTI!!!” Brindlenose screeches as she gets covered in confetti.
Caine stares at the conffetie “this reminds me of gummigo’s death….”
*cherri bomb spawns*
(I don’t mean to sound rude or controlling and you can totally ignore this comment, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t pick Burr as the mix for your nickname as I’m in the Hamilsquad as Squrr… 😛 Again, totally up to you! I dont mind if you stay as Brirr, super awesome nickname, I’d just feel much more comfortable if I was the one using Burr as the Hamilton name since I came up with it first and am really connected to it if that makes sense🙃)
“INDEED!” Alasquirt screams, pumping their fist into the air thrillingly.
(Oops, sorry! I didn’t know. TvT)
(No trouble! ^^ HAMILFANS UNITE! 😛)
(YES! The fact you said “HAMILFANS UNITE!” on my birthday when I’m probably one of the biggest Hamilfans ever makes it even better.)
(EDIT: oh no i’m posting comments too quickly oh dear /hj)
Too lazy to read everything but what have I missed???
“Chaos..” Caine goles back to the shadowss
Foampaw puts on “What’d I miss” from Hamilton, and starting belting out the lyrics.
“SO WHAT’D I MISS? WHAT’S I MISS? VIRGINA, MY HOME SWEET HOME, I WANNA GIVE YOU A KISS, I’VE BEEN IN PARIS MEETING LOTS OF DIFFERENT LADIES…”
the word “virginia” reminds me of the line in a song by John Denver “almost heaven, west virginia” xD lol
unless chaos are important, nothing.
Squrr poofs into the middle of a random battlefield. “WHAT’D I MISS?!” They shriek, slipping on Thomas Jefferson’s iconic magenta coat. (Also I had a soccer game and some random opponent got mad at me for faking her out and she was like “who do you think you are?!” and I legit bowed and said “Aaron Squrr, my good lady!” and she was so confused 😭😛)
omg popping into the convo to add that soccer opponents making random comments is so real 😭 one time I was on defense and these two offense girls on the other team were standing nearby while all the action was happening down at their goal lol, and one of them was like “I know everyone on this team’s names 😌” so I turned and glared at her and then she FLUSHED and said “except hers,,,,,,,,” and then they stopped talking aflksdjfs
AHAHDGSHJWNANBS THAT’S FUNNIER 😛
OMG LOL VKUFKYFFY
LOL I PLAYED AGAINST A FEW OF MY CLASSMATES AND ONE OF MY FRIENDS FROM SCHOOL. (i play for a different town or whatev then the one i live in cuz…… yes.) I WON- (plus i was an awesome goaley 🤭 – idk why i put that emoji-)
(Oh my god I wish I were there to see it hahaha 😭)
(I wish you were too 😛)
BAHAHAHA-
BAHAHAHA IM SO PROUD *sobbing happily*
“VIRGINIA, MY HOME SWEET HOME, I WANNA GIVE YOU A KISS!” Flamilton quotes, appearing next to Squrr excitedly. (No that’s actually amazing what 😭 😭 Like I say silly stuff all the time, but this is true epicness :0 /gen)
free ice cream!!! sorry I only have strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla! ): hope you like it anyways!!!
https://r.mtdv.me/watch?v=MM70s9lyVg
wait no correct kill to throwing the mod into the pot hehehehe /lhj
“I’m not that gullible,” Squrr smirks knowingly, putting on a random but ✨ s t y l i s h ✨ top hat with a pie charm on it. They run off cackling while holding cupcake cherry bombs (the cherries on top are the bombs) and wonders who to bombard with the bomb that only causes icing and dough to splatter on everyone nearby instead of even harming them at all. Though not falling for the trick, it can be confirmed by anyone that Squrr is not the sharpest spoon in the bucket.
Flamilton dramatically kicks open the doors of the H-Tower, Vox-style. “MY FRIENDS!” they gasp, literally bouncing with excitement. “GUESS WHAT HAPPENED AT CAMP TODAY?! SO, LIKE, ONE OF THE OTHER JUNIOR COUNSELORS, DURING LUNCH, JUST CASUALLY ASKED ‘ANYONE HEAR HEARD OF HAZBIN HOTEL?’, AND I LOOKED AT HIM DEAD IN THE EYE AND WAS BASICALLY LIKE, ‘WELL HELLO THERE YOU WAYWARD SINNER /ref’ AND I’M SO HAPPY NOW OH MY BARNEY!!!!!!” Flamilton pauses for air, flopping down on the nearest couch to face their comrades. “Any questions? :DD”
(no but this actually did happen today, although I was a bit calmer irl haha 😛 )
DID YOU ACTUALLY SAY THAT OMG HAZBIN IS TAKING OVER OUR LIVES <3
(I have two friends who watched hzbin before me, and bc Hazbin is literally 99% of what I think about, i like, flipped the switch on them being normal, weird guys, to HAZBINITES <33 oh yeah one of them is a skibidi kid and he showed me (wait for it, wait for it /ref)
BAHAHA- imagine if that happened with warrior cats-
😛
*here
my grammar has died
my grammar is a hazbin
my grammar will never rest in peace
I will forever judge my past self for this
forever
and
ever
and
ever
and
ever
and
ever /ref 😛
“ Hi, what’s going on now?”
“Oh, nothing, just all-out war!” Lionpaw shrugs, yeeting Alastor and Vox shipping plushies. “HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!” she yowls.
*yeets special pride-month themed crayon with the lesbian flag🤎🧡💛🤍🩷💖💜 at Liomadison for no other reason than destroying triple h*
Lionpaw catches the crayon with one paw. She begins sobbing happily. “Hamilsquad’s making a difference! Even though my Hamilname isn’t in my display, Darth Fallow remembered ittt- WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
Flamilton stares at the plushies. “You… you ship Radiostatic?” they gasp. “But why ship that when there’s Radioapple!” Flamilton pleads, despite the fact that they also really like the idea of Vox being a desperate romantic.
and, let’s be honest, kinda ships it anyway… 😛“BUT YES PRIDE MONTH YES YES YES YES YES-” Flamilton yells, starting to run around maniacally while waving about 14 pride flags all at once, before running into a wall.“Have to disagree with ya there, you won’t get it unless you’ve read Radio Healed the Video Star on AO3.” she mews. (if im honest, any cheesy gay hazbin ship is amazing 🔥) “BUUUUUT, because you’re my friend, I’ll make an exeption in the production line.” she snaps her fingers and now she’s yeeting RadioStatic, RadioApple, HuskerDust, and StaticMoth shipping plushies. (btw look at this masterpiece of staticmoth i found on DA: https://www.deviantart.com/w1theredsoultempus/art/Staticmoth-week-day-6-Night-Out-1044034396 )
You’re so right about cheesy gay Hazbin ships, I legit live for them aaaaaa 😭
(also I’ll have to check out that fanfic haha, I haven’t read fanfics in ages but I love them sooo much 😛 )
(Update: finally got around to reading the ‘fic and I’m addicted aaaaaa 😛 😛 😛 )
YESSSSSSSSSS RADIOSTATIC FOR LIFE WHOOO
“chaos. this is the hazelpage,” shrugs silvs while eating a strawberry-catnip donut. “You wanna join the catnip army? Silverpaw/cloud is a part of it.”
silvs yeets catnip confetti in the air. “CHAOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!” she yells as she sees triple-h throw bombs everywhere, narrowly missing one. Then the bombs turn out to be cupcakes…. with catnip icing???!??
Gold
“NO! WHO PUT THIS CATNIP ICING ON?!” Brindlenose roars. “GET IT OFF!!”
“IF I FIND WHO DID THIS, I WILL BE GETTING KING FOAMY III TO KILL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, BUT NOT FOR LOVE.” (not literally though dujdhfhdifhdiixnshehsjsjsje)
Brindlenose throws a REAL BOMB into the air, waiting for the time to tick down. Little did everyone know, it would erupt into Hamilton and Hazbin Hotel plushies!
30…
29…
28…
(continue the numbers counting down)
wait what’s the “Gold” in bold supposed to mean (omg gold and bold rhyme, i could be a poet with those rhymes now /j (credits to Nettlespring who said that on the Happy Birthday, Brindlenose! thing :D))
4..
3..
2..
1..
nova leaps into the air and tries to grab the bomb for no reason thinking it might destroy the hazel page. she was met with a face full of hamilton and hazbin hotel plushies. “ahhhhh!”
“AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!” Brindlenose laughs, grabbing a Hamilton plushie of John Laurens. She tosses an Alexander Hamilton one to Flamilton, Aaron Burr to Squrr, and a Lafayette to Lightningpaw. There were still duplicates though. Hundreds. Maybe thousands, it seemed. Well, who cared? Hamilton and Hazbin Hotel were awesome, anyways. (me never having watched Hazbin Hotel before: …👁 👁
👅… 😅 (that face is awesome tho))