The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitinglyย and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rusticย carumย bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls,ย three floorsย and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top!ย We’ve returned, freeย from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up yourย HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
*Ivo stared around, gulping down a huge amount of fanta + coke + boba intensly* “this place will never get old” *She exclaims, tossing catnip to random ppl*
“You’re so right,” Flamilton grins from the Triple-H Tower. “However, catnip is less than appealing! You should know that by now, I would hope!” /lh
“No, catnip is better than anything else… except cheese of course” Ivo does a slightly evil-sweet smirk from her chair
‘Oh, you wanna start a Cheese vs. Fries battle? Well, letโs get this started…’, Fallowfrie/Darth Fallow meows, and she yeets Ivo into a frying pan๐
HEY, GIMME BACK MY FRYING PAN *snatches frying pan from fallows* AND CHEESE STICKS WILL FOREVER RULE.
*why do you hate cheese so much though? just curious :3
It stinks and tastes like sweat๐ AND THATโS MY FRYING PANNNN! Darth Fallow/ Fallowfrie snatches her frying pan back and starts cooking fries.
some cheese don’t taste like that lol like (I think this is the name of the cheese) brunost! it’s a type of norwegian cheese that’s made with brown sugar.
(now excuse me as I continue to rant about cheese) /lhj
Ivo jumped out of the trying pan, throwing cheese expertly into Darth Fallow’s mouth. “Nuh uh!” She taunts, flexing her cheese T-shirt
CATNIP ARMY YESSSSSSSS
*gives ivo a cheese and catnip sandwich then noms down on another one*
Ivo grabs the cheese and catnip sanwich, flexing it at Fallows and Flamilton before stuffing it in her mouth. “Still tastes like mint!” She grinned
hi people!! Mostly back but will still be pretty busy over the next two weeks :p
Hiiii Robo!!!!! Good to see ya again <3
Wait the catnip battle is still going onโฆ
FINALLY got to access this page without my phone crashing ๐ญ Iโm too scared to go back to the last page, so, tell me which battle has ended and which has begun? :3
It’s now Catnip vs. Triple H vs. Star Wars + Three Cabelleros! And Cheese vs. Fries…
Rosepaw climbs onto a table and begins shouting, โTHE THREE CABALLEROS AND FRIES WILL RULE DA WORLD!!!!โ in a super wacky voice that doesnโt sound anything like her regular voice, but she likes to talk like that sometimes, so, she just does it.
Ivo stares at Rosie “did you just say fries and not cheese?”
*calmly whacks rosie with a frying pan* THIS should fix your brain that is against cheese. /lhj
๐ถReedough walks in with a mischievous grin๐ถ
Reedpaw grins, long fanged teeth peeking from beneath an oversized hood, rain streaming off her poncho.
๐ถTHUNDER๐ถ
โMy catsโฆ I am back,โ she declares, pulling out a textbook. โLetโs see, I need to catch up.โ She then proceeds to read through the past ten pages of Hazelpage History.
“Excuse me, what team are you on? ” Silvs politely asks as she casually dodges a tsunami of miscellaneous hamilton and hazbin hotel souvenirs.
Flamilton materializes from the shadows, holding a magictastical, sparkly, old-timey-looking scroll. “weLL my dear Reedo, while you revise the *proper* history of the Hazelpage Wars”-Flamilton knocks aside that boring old old-peoplely textbook and places an almost identical book on the table in front of Reedo (however, this one was written by the almighty H’s ๐)-“might I offer the opportunities of joining the Triple H Army? Not only are we the largest and sigma-est army, bUT we also have fReE cOOkIeS!!” Flamilton beams, waving the shiny scroll that may or may not be a soul-binding contract.
“HELLO AND WELCOME BACK REEDOUGH!! It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?” Hazypaw laughs, “I should go look through the past 10 pages too, it’s been awhile since I was up-to-date with this page.”
“IT IS MY B-DAY I HAVE GROWN WISER!! I WILL USE THAT TO MAKE TADC AND CATNIP THE BEST THING EVERRRR” Caine proceds to trip “i’m ๐๐๏ธ” gets up
“YAAAA!” Pumpkinpaw yowls. With Creams’ amazing new knowledge, they will finally win the war. She throws catnip like confetti as a celebration and munches on them as they fall to the ground.
Foampaw opened her mouth as the newly-founded cheese and fry armies were having a food fight, a bunch of fries being thrown into her mouth. She summoned some โจTajรญnโจ (fries and Tajรญn are like the perfect combination, youโve gotta try it) and sprinkled some into her mouth.
โAhhhh. Nice food break.โ She purred after eating it all in a single swallow
almost like a snake??Yes, tajรญn is soooooo good! The frie army is now the frie-tajรญn army!
Flamilton, standing next to Foamy and watching these new armies battle from the Triple-H Tower, catches a flying block of cheese and a handful of fries and shoves it in their mouth. “It’s basically like nachos!” they say excitedly, pulling out their state-of-the-art Hand Binoculars 2000 and watching this new battle. “I must say, this little break is quite nice, although I’m looking forward to demolishing these two new little armies!” /lh
Silvs then yeets cheese sticks into everycats’ mouth.
FEEL THE WRATH OF CHEESE.
(testing underline to see if it works)
You will feel the wrath of CHEESE.
“I HATE CHEESE HOW DARE YOU.” Frogpaw yells as she tears the cheese off her pizza.
HOW CAN SOMEONE HATE CHEESE?????!?!??!!?!!?!?? I’M CRYING RIGHT NOW ๐ /lhj
I do tooooo, cheesehaters unite!!!
aww it doesn’t work :((((
Ivo nommed on the cheese “you always know best, Silvs!”
Froggo was chaos deprived. Whenever there wasn’t an absolute war going on she got quite bored. what if they started BlogClan war 1??? Nah, not chaotic enough. Well actually…..
Frogpaw got out her mega Taki shooter 3000 and started shooting Takis at the nearest BlogClanners, and well, Foampaw must’ve had bad luck because she was only a few inches away.
“TASTE THE SPICE!!!”
Silvs started throwing cheese sticks at Froggo.
Foampaw, unfortunately, was facing directly towards โจHer Majesty Queen Froggo The Eleventhโจ as she sprayed the Takis, and, although Foampaw was Hispanic, they somehow didnโt have a good spice tolerance.
โAHHHHHH!โ She hissed, fire pretty much flying out of her mouth. โIโM A CHARMANDER??โ
Flamilton hides behind a massive pile of Husk plushies right outside of the Triple-H Tower. They’ve never had Takis before and are genuinely afraid of Takis. Trembling, they dive into the pile of plushies and jam in a pair of earbuds, drowning out the chaos and bloodshed with Hamilton and Hazbin. “The Takis can’t hurt you, Flam…” they whisper, peeking through the plushies to find Takis literally everywhere.
Ivo leaped in the air and caught some takis in her mouth “nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom. I wish they were cheesier though.” she meows
โLemons forever!!!โ Silverpaw screams
Flamilton peeks out from where they were hiding from Froggo and her Takis. “If by ‘lemons’ you mean the Triple-H’s, then yes! I agree! Lemons are the best!”
(Yay Hazelpage is back!)
the hazelpage has been here for a while! also hello my fellow silver prefix person
UNRELATED BUT I THINK SILVER IS THE MOST OFTEN USED PREFIX ON BLOGCLAN NOW
โMY FELLOW CATS!โ Foampaw yelled, standing on a table and summoning a megaphone. โWE MUST BINGE-WATCH HAMILTON IN CELEBRATION OF FOURTH OF JULY!โ
A random cat from the Catnip side of the war yelled out โwhy?โ
โHOW DARE YOU QUESTION THE KING OF THE HAMILTON SIDE? I SHOULD GET YOU BEHEADED!!โ He yowled.
โBut I admire your bravery, I guess. Itโs uhโฆ educational, yeah! ITโS TO TEACH YOU ABOUT HISTORY IN THE BEST WAY: โจMUSICAL THEATERโจ!!!โ
And with that, they started spraying Hamilton T-Shirts everywhere with his portable T-Shirt gun.
Ivo appears as the random cat from behind her stack of cheese
“*inhale* I HAVEN’T WATCHED HAMILTON AND I DON’T LIKE HISTORY” Ivo yelled
Flamilton jumps up onto the table next to King Foamy. “Don’t worry, I know how to convince them!” Flamilton grins evilly, whispering the plan to him. They then clear their throat and yell, “ANYONE WHO WATCHES GETS ICE CREAM!
only at the price of your soul and undying loyalty to the Triple-H Army!”They grin back at Foamy. “Works every time! Well, more like 82-ish percent of the time, but whatever! Rounding! Math! And stuff!”โGreat idea, Flamilton!โ Foampaw meowed. โIce cream always gets them!โ
“Why thank you, my dear friend!” Flamilton grins. “Ice cream is amazing, I must admit!”
(By Hamilton side, I mean triple H. Excuse my offensive mistake, please ๐ /hj)
Icemeadow kicks open the door to the Hazelpage, moving in rhythm with the music in his head as he enters. It had been a while since he had commented, although he had still occasionally checked the Hazelpage since his last time here. He pulls down his Lab Coatโs hood, and looks around. Itโs been a long time since he was last here, so thereโs probably a lot of new stuff going on that he missed.
โฆ
Nope. Somehow, The Great War of Blogclan was still ongoing. Some sides had fallen, some sides had risen, but it was still the same war. This was great until he realized he had forgotten which side he was on. โDoes anyone here remember which side I pledged my undying loyalty to??โ He asks.
Flamilton stares at Icy for about 37 seconds before shrugging and saying, “Well, you can always join the Triple-H Army! We have cookies!”
โI THINK IT WAS THE TRIPLE H ARMY!โ Foampaw yelled a lie from the other side of the war (/ref, only hardcore ones will get that reference ๐) although it might be true because he in truth had no idea either. But he tried to take the opportunity to recruit a new member to his army.
Pumpkinpaw appears infront of Icy after mysteriously being gone for a week with her reading glasses (even tho i have glasses irl ๐), holding the signed contract. “Welcome back! On this handy contract you signed, you belong to the Catnip Army! Here is further proof: https://blogclan.katecary.co.uk/the-hazelpage/comment-page-193/#comment-1910016 ” She laughs, because one of the Catnip Army members have returned. “Now, would you like some free cookies?”
โMost excellent!โ Icemeadow exclaims. He had remembered signing that contract, although he couldnโt remember which side it was for. โAnd yes, please, cookies would be nice,โ he tells Pumpkinpaw, preparing to return the battle.
Fallowfrie randomly yeets Silvsto and Ivo into her frying pan and then becomes president of the United States of Hazel cuz why not, and banishes cheese from the whole Hazelpage and puts it in the law. Everyone who dares to own cheese will now go into jail for 100 years and will need to listen to Chipi Chipi Chapa Chapa there for those whole 100 years.๐๐๐
I LIKE CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA ๐
Chipi chipi chapa chapa dubi dubi daba daba /lhj
CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA… (and so on for 100 years๐)
CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA (k that’s enough chipi chipi chapa chap or this will be spam) MWAHAAHAHAHAAA
“CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA” Ivo screamed, her cheese destroying the pan๐๐ง