The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Rustpaw looks upon the Hazelpage. She doesn’t apply anymore. Smoke marks her disappearance and she poofs into a shadowy corner, watching the madness from the sidelines.
Shrubpaw uses special powers to detect Rustpaw’s presence. “Come!” She cried from the other side of the room. She pounces forward and adds, “Hru doing btw?”
“Hello!” Rustpaw mewed, suddenly noticing Shrubpaw. “Just waiting for the ball drop, I guess.” *points at the monitors that are definitely there.*
Sorry, had to say it, my new years hasn’t happened yet
Shrubpaw nodded, unsure what to say or if she should burst into song.
Flamilton majestically appears in the corner next to Rusty, nearly dodging a flying crayon. “Well hello!” they grin. “Lot of crayon projectiles today, huh? Now would you perhaps maybe possibly like to join the Triple-H Army?” they ask innocently. “We have cookies! And we’re *mostly* safe from flying projectiles!” And right on cue, an airborne potato is yeeted at Flamilton’s head.
‘And’, Fallowsy adds. ‘We shout along with musical songs the whole day!’
“Yes indeedy!” Flamilton agrees.
“Fine. But I only know one line,” Rusti almost murmurs.
flamilton excitedly gasps. “which one would that be?”
Drifter strolled into the hazelpage, flicking xeir long ebony tail with interest as chaos unfolded. Tales from older warriors didn’t do this place justice xey thought as Drifter sat at the counter on a bar stool, humming softly. Drifter grabbed a cup, poured some apple cider into it and watched the others scream lyrics with pale amber eyes.
[sorry for the neopronouns lol feel free to use other pronouns]
edit: page flip???
Flamilton casually takes a break from yeeting Hamilton merch at anyone and everyone not in the Triple-H Army to sit at the bar and loudly slurp some root beer. “Slurpilicious!” they declare happily. Then they proceed to turn to face Drifter. “Howdy! Care to join the battle? The Triple-H Army has cookies! And, uh, other stuff!”
I grinned, tipping my hat “Why not? I’ve always been a fan of the Schulyers myself” I chuckle, slipping into a shirt with Angelica’s silhouette and the caption “WORK!”, officially joining the Triple-H army
“Hooray!” Flamilton cheers, spontaneously deciding to eat a raw potato in celebration and immediately starts choking on it because Flamilton is very dignified.
Shrubpaw gasped very loudly and dramatically. “YES! You can be Angelica and I’ll be Eliza!” She started singing in the middle of ‘the Schuyler Sisters’. “LOOK AROUND, LOOK AROUND, AT HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW! LOOK AROUND, LOOK AROUND, AT HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO BE ALIVE!!”
“HISTORY IS HAPPENING IN MANHATTENN AND WE JUST HAPPEN TO BE IN GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLDDDDD” Drifter sang along at the top of xeir lungs
“IN THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD!” Shrubpaw sang along, nodding her head.
‘OH! OH! CAN I BE PEGGY?’, Fallowsy meows, and without waiting for an answer, she starts singing along: ‘LOOK AROUND, LOOK AROUND AT HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW!’
“YES OFC! WE’LL BE THE SCHUYLER SISTERS!!” Shrubpaw responded.
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Also, I don’t understand this page anymore :,)
where’s the waffle and pancake worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?!
Has it literally been overrun by the Triple H??
‘Yup’, Fallowsy replies, nodding and looking like this: 🙂↕️. ‘Shall we give you a demonstration of the chaos here?’ Without waiting for an answer Fallowsy starts tossing her fur like Glinda (Wicked) and sings: ‘Whenever I see someone less fortunate than IIIIIIIIIII… And let’s face it, who isn’t less fortunate than IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII? My tender heart tends to start to bleed… AND WHEN SOMEONE NEEDS A MAKEOVER I SIMPLY HAVE TO TAKE OVER! I know, I know exactly what they need! And even in your case… Though it’s the thoughest case I’ve yet to face… Don’t worry, I’m determined to succeed! Follow my lead, and yes indeed, you will be popular! You’re gonna be popular! I’ll teach you some musical songs, make you watch Hamilton! Little ways to cause chaos! Ooh! I’ll show you what films to see, how you keep angry Triple H’s happy! Everything that really counts to be popular! I’ll help you be popular! You’ll quote the right musicals, be good at rap battles! Know the gen alpha slang you’ve got to know! Let’s start, cuz you’ve got an awfully long way to go!’
…………………
Uh…………
Is my thing glitching……………..
it say “your comment is awaiting moderation. this is a preview; your comment will be visible after it has been approved”
but it’s not my comment and it has been approved
Cloudo probably added that herself to fool us :PP
lol It’s inspired by Shimmz since she does it sometimes 😛
(And I thought the replys to the first few times she did it were funny lol)
“Salutations!” Flamilton grins. “Now, I WOULD say ‘good to be back on the air’, but I’ve been here, haha!” xe spend a solid 3 minutes just spinning around on one of the barstools before continuing. “Aaaaanywaysies, do you wanna join the Triple-H’s? Not only do we have cookies, but we have, like, a BUNCH of fully armed battalions! And our fortress is pretty sick! In fact, I’d go so far as to call it the room where it happens!” xe smirks, very pleased with xemself.
“Yes! What xe said!” Shrubpaw shouted, pointing at Flamilton with a grin. “I can say that I give Triple-H a review of a trillion out of five stars!” She began to hum “Satisfied” to herself.
“Precisely, Shrubsy!” Flamilton grins excitedly before yeeting Hamilton merch at anyone within range.
…I mean- I haven’t seen Hamilton- qouting from Joy (then Holz since they were Holz when they said this) “The one that died: Cloudpaw/song- The actual k*ller: Flam because she realized some people hadn’t watched Hamilton and got angry” – Holz
(No but seriously Holz loved putting me in the worst situations for some reason in those polls lol /nm)
(Yes I stalk the old polls and past pages of fanfic org, that is not at all weird-)
But I have watched Hazbin so- (and half of the songs from Hamilton) spare me lol /J
(Also I think I did join Triple H before I disappeared forever-)
emmy emerges hesitantly from their spot in the rafters, where they’ve hidden unnoticed for the past four months. they leap gracefully to the floor, shaking back their hair and their eyes darting around warily.
“is the war finally over?” they ask the empty room, fully expecting the fortresses of old to materialize and pelt them with hamilton merch and… cheese. they shudder.
when nothing happens, they begin quietly, “you know, if it’s not… i did watch hamilton. but hopefully it’s over, because I need a breather. the rafters get uncomfortable after the first couple months, you know?” they pause. “but in my mind…” a disco ball lowers from the ceiling, and emmy starts tap-dancing across the wooden floors. “i’ve been in paris meeting lots of different ladies… i guess I basically missed the late eighties.” time freezes as they wait for someone to continue.
Drifter slid off xeir stool and walked over to Emmy, nodding along to their words “I have no idea what this song is but yeah, hamilton can get kinda annoying after a while, even if you’re a fan” Xey muttered with a twitch of xeir whiskers, tapping xeir paw to the beat of the unknown song
“I TRAVELLED THE WIDE WIDE WORLD AND CAME BACK TO THIS!!!” yowled Lionpaw, popping in from the void.
‘guys am I the only person who hasn’t seen wicked?’ Cheeso asked from ✨a random corner✨
‘YOU ARE INDEED AND YOU NEEEEEEEEEED TO WATCH IT’, Fallowsy yells.
“nah, i haven’t seen it either,” Emmy replies calmly. ” i don’t get the hype, honestly.”
“It’s SO GOOD!” Shrubpaw shouted. Then, in a tad lower voice, she added, “It’s probably going to get the best movie of the year, if you ask me!”
Dawny sighs. She walks over to a bar stool and pours herself hot chocolate. “I thought this was going to be less crazy but there is the war going on. *she looks around and sees a shirt that says “I’m not throwing away my shot” with Hamiltons head on it* “Well, here are all the remnants from the war” she says. Dawny sees the Duolingo that she almost ate. “Hey. We cool now?” The Duolingo nods and gives her a French lesson to do. “So if I do this we are good now?” The Duolingo nods again. Dawny starts doing French while there are a bunch of Hamilton merchandise around her.
Fallowsy is very inspired by Dawny’s t-shirt and gets one with king George on it with the lyrics: ‘I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love’
“Hello everyone!” *Silentwhisper shouts as they appear*”So recently I took a loooong blog break due to mental health issues but now I’m back aaaaand I’m wondering what has been going on since I last left!
Hi there!
There was recently a Hamilton war. Would you like a remnant *hands you a Hamilton cap*
“Triple-H has taken over the blog, general chaos reigns, and wicked is now here too” I called from my perch in the rafters, hopping down with a flourish of my ebony tail and tipping my top hat before taking a seat at the counter.
Insanity happened as usual
YAYY MY MENTOR Glad your back!!
Triple H took over but they still celebrated with wafflez… so basically we know Wafflez>pancake
Naaaaaahhhhhhh crepe>pancake>waffle
I think you mean waffles+crepes>pancakes😌
Oh yeah I meant this ofc 😎
😎😎😎
Autumnleaf turns to address the room, takes one look at the chaos, and leaves her hot chocolate abandoned on the counter, swishing outside into the freezing HTML stream.
It probably wasn’t the best place to look, she admits to herself.
“Getting sick of scrolling down, down, down, down…” she sings under her breath, and chuckles.
It’s too true.
Cinderkit looks, then just takes her donut and leaves.
Dawny leaps from her seat and sings
SO I LEAP FROM MY SEAT
AND LEVITATE DOWN THE HAZELPAGE
CRASH THE TRIPLE-H PARTY LIKE A RECORD SCRATCH AS I SCREAM
WHOS AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD MEEEEEEEEEEEE
Well you should be *mysterious laugh*
Fallowsy has no idea what is happening, but she knows this isn’t a musical song so she freaks out and starts yelling: ‘WHAT IS THIS FEELING, SO SUDDEN AND NEW? I FELT THE MOMENT I LAID EYES ON YOU! MY PULSE IS RUSHING! MY HEAD IS REELING! MY FACE IS FLUSHING! OH, WHAT IS THIS FEELING? FERVID AS A FLAME! DOES IT HAVE A NAME? YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! CONFUSION!’
Shrubpaw joins the chat when she realizes the context. “UNADULTERATED CONFUSION! FOR YOUR WORDS, YOUR LAUGH, AMUSEMENT! LET’S JUST SAY… I CONFUSE IT ALL!
‘EVERY LITTLE WORD HOWEVER SMALL, MAKES MY VERY BRAIN BEGIN TO CRAWL! WITH SIMPLE, UTTER CONFUSION!’
Dawny screams “AUUUUUUGH” and yeets King George who is like “Wait bestie NOOOOO” to Mars and then she storms off.
flamilton gasps loudly for a solid 3 minutes and promptly dramatically collapses.
Shrubpaw stood on a table and leaned over Flamilton’s body. “The Wicked Witch of the West is dead!” She cried, turning on “No One Mourns the Wicked” on a nearby radio.
Flamilton sits up and starts coughing. “Wait, what’s up?” they ask. “Because I don’t even know what’s going on anymore!”
Shrubpaw freezes, clears her throat, and turns off the radio. “I-I meant… ohh noooooo! The Good Witch of the South is dead!” She wailed dramatically.
Fallowsy suddenly spawns and says: ‘It’s good to see me, isn’t it?’
Shrubpaw points. “Look, it’s Glinda!”
I WAS TAME I WAS GENTLE TILL THE CIRCUS LIFE MADE ME MEAN
don’t you worry folks we took our all her teeth *evil smirk*
WHERE ARE YOUR TEETH?!? /lhj
flamilton blinks. “the only thing I’m scared of is my little brother! so, uhh, ha-cha-cha!”
Crystalmist, a LeafClan warrior, strolls into the Hazelpage. She flicks her long, gray tail apprehensively. Something is happening.
After sitting down next to the fireplace, her eyes dart across the room, looking for something. Anything. Or was it already too late?
Yes it was, since Fallowsy already started burning the whole Hazelpage while singing Burn. ‘🎶The world has no rights to my heart🎶’, she meows while setting Crystalpaw’s tail tip on fire.
Shrubpaw started singing along, but didn’t shout. “The world has no place in our bed 🎶 They don’t get to know what I said 🎶.”
“I’M BURNING THE MEMORIES! BURNING THE LETTERS THAT MIGHT HAVE REDEEMED YOUU!” flamilton sing-screams from across the room.
“🎶You forfeit the place in our bed! You’ll sleep in your office instead!!🎶” Shrubpaw continues
“WITH ONLY THE MEMORIES OF WHEN YOU WERE MIIIIINEEEEEEEE!!” Flamilton sings.
Shrubpaw hesitates before singing, “I hope that you, buuuuuurrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…”
Flamilton proceeds to yeet a bunch of papers that most certainly aren’t her taxes into a fire.
*peeks from behind you*
Boo
Crystalmist paced around the room rapidly. “I cannot believe it! This could not have happened! It’s been 5 WHOLE MINUTES AND I STILL HAVEN’T ORDERED A JAVA YET!!!!!!!!!!” she screeched, absolutely freaking out due to coffee withdrawal.
She practically ran over to the counter, and poured herself an enormous cup of hot java(script).
Finch looks around at the sheer chaos unfolding.
well then if everyone’s quoting musicals let me offer you some free advice..
Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves 😈
(Also talk less, smile more)
And don’t let them now what you’re against or what you’re for!
AND SHAKE HANDS WITH HIM, CHARM HER
IT’S 1800 LADIES, TELL YOUR HUSBANDS: VOTE FOR BURR!
i dont like adams ¬¬
well he’s gonna lose, that’s just defeatist!
*Silentwhisper sat at a table and sipped a quick drink before loudly announcing;”HAS ANYONE SEEN SONIC 3?!”
Nope :p (But I heard its really good but I havent watched 1 or 2)
redpaw paced around the room, wondering why she hadnt had a Wispa in 10 seconds 😱
(grabs another from her stock and runs away, cackling maniacally) 😈