The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
the door bursts open dramatically, and in strolls cindersky. skyshimmer appears in a puff of smoke nearby and asks, “what’d i miss?” (the entirety of act i, dude, get on our level /j /ref)
flamilton magictastically appears adorned in their green suit (even though the beige-ish orangey one hammy wears at the beginning of the show is by far the best one grr >:( /hj) and scrambles to excitedly greet skyshimmer. “OH, WELL HEY THERE SHIMMZ! ALEXANDER FLAMILTON✨😌” /ref they yell.
skyshimmer waves to flam. “HELLO :)”
(can proudly say that i recognized both the lyrics in ur name)
flamilton starts excitedly yapping about hamilton.
(ayyy I didn’t know you listen to AJR!! very nice very nice✨)
(theyre good but mostly i listened to that one because you mentioned it had hamilton in it haha)
(ahh gotcha!! 3 oclock things is top tier I love it✨)
“Shimmz!” Shrubpaw cried, bounding over to meet them. “Have you ever watched the szin hamilton animatics on YT?”
“I HAVE!!” you hear from the other side of the room. shimmz has teleported.
Shrubpaw instantly burst into song. “After the war I went back to New York!” /ref
“A-AFTER THE WAUGH I WENT BACK TO NEW YOUGHK” shimmz continued.
“I FINISHED UP MY STUDIES AND I PRACTICED LAWRR” Shrubpaw sang.
help i read that with a british accent-
“I PRACTICED LAW, BURR WORKED NEXT DOOR!” flamilton continues
“EVEN THOUGH WE STARTED AT THE VERY SAME TIME,” Shrubpaw sang with a glance at Flamilton.
ALEXANDER HAMILTON BEGAN TO CLIMB
HOW TO ACCOUNT FOR HIS RISE TO THE TOP?
Foampaw walked through freshly opened door, wanting to screech the entirety of “What’d I Miss?” but heard Shimmz do that bit already.
“YOUR KING IS BACK EVERYBODY!!! AFTER LIKE 3 MONTHS!!!” They yowled instead. “So, has the fully armed battalion (/ref) of the Triple H Army claimed control over this page yet?”
Drifter started screaming the lyrics You’ll Be Back at the top of xeir lungs, shooting King George shirts from a t-shirt cannon from the rafters of the hazelpage.
“YOU”LL BE BACK SOON YOU”LL SEE YOU”LL REMEMBER YOU BELONG TO ME”
DA DA DA DAT DA DA DA
Oh wait I got triple-H virus
*shlurps Bluestar fan exclusive drink*
LETS GO BLUESTAR YAYYAAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYYAY
‘YOU’LL BE BACK
TIME WILL TELL
YOU’LL REMEMBER THAT I SERVED YOU WELL’, Fallowsy sings along.
“OCEANS RISE, EMPIRES FALL!” Hart sings. “WE HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER THROUGH IT ALL!!”
‘AND WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE
I WILL KILL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO REMIND YOU OF MY LOVE
DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA YA DA’
“YOU SAY OUR LOVE IS DRAINING AND YOU CAN’T GO OOOONNNNNNNNN!!”
“AND WHEN PUSH. COMES TO SHAV” shimmz sings along.
“FOAMY!!!” flamilton gasps, their mad screech audible to literally everyone in the hazelpage. “WHY INDEED WE HAVE! I SUPPOSE YOU COULD SAY THAT WE FOUGHT THE FIGHT AND WON THE WAR, AND THAT NOW ALL OF OUR ENEMIES HAVE STAYED GONE!” flamilton looks way too pleased with their hamilton/hazbin references.
Out of all the songs in Hamilton why is no one singing the best one (tied with king George solos but ykyk)
IM HELPLESSSSS
LOOK INTO YOUR EYES AND THE SKYS THE LIMIT
HELPLESS
DOWN FOR THE COUNT AND IM DROWNIN’ IN ‘EM
*Looks for someone to sing along*
flamilton dramatically jumps into song. “I HAVE NEVER BEEN THE TYPE TO TRY AND GRAB THE SPOTLIGHT WE WERE AT A REVEL WITH SOME REBELS ON A HOT NIGHT LAUGHIN AT MY SISTER AS SHE’S DAZZLIN THE ROOM YOU WALKED IN AND MY HEART WENT BOOM!”
“TRYING TO CATCH YOUR EYE FROM THE SIDE OF THE BALLROOM EVERYBODYS DANCING AND THE BANDS TOP VOLUME” Drifter continues, blasting the Helpless backing track from a speaker
“RIDE TO THE RYTHM AS WE WINE AND DINE, GRAB MY SISTER AND WHISPER, ‘YO, THIS ONE’S MINE’,” shimmz continues.
“MY SISTER MAKES HER WAY ACROSS THE ROOM TO YOOOUUU,” Shrubpaw sang along. “I PANIC THINKING WHAT SHE GONNA DOOOOO?”
“TRYNA CATCH YOUR EYE FROM THE SIDE OF THE BALLROOM
EVERYBODY’S DANCING AND THE BAND’S TOP VOLUME
GRIND TO THE RYTHYM AS WE WINE AND DINE
GRAB MY SISTER AND WHISPER ‘YO THIS ONE’S MINE'” Lio yells.
Aaaaaaaah I love Helpless as well!
‘I’M HELPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS’
What in Starclan’s Hunting Grounds is going on here?
Lio grins. “Hamilton is. The Triple-Hs have successfully overrun this page.” >:3
Moonlitpaw seems confused “Ok then, does this place allow Star Wars? If not I must declare war.”
Lio shrugs. “If I remember correctly, there WAS a Star Wars side earlier in the war, but we fought the fight and won the war and they disappeared after like half of their members sworn allegiance to the Triple-H.” she grins, pleased at her hamilton reference.
Oh **proceeds to blast Star Wars Theme**
“and I suppose that you could say we made them STAY GONE!” flamilton adds, then starts laughing at what he thinks is the greatest joke/hazbin reference that they most certainly have never used before ever
i didnt realize you did 😭😭
*Rowny teleports into the Hazelpage because she sensed someone mention Star Wars* “Yass!! Moon, we must join forces to declare war on the Triple-H army! Star Wars shall rule the Hazelpage!” She exclaims, jumping up and down excitedly.
flamilton watches the star wars army come back to life after like six months and looks at lio. “well, this is getting interesting…” /ref they loudly whisper, loading up their Hamilton t-shirt gun and preparing to yeet it anywhere and everywhere.
Noooooo I don’t wanna choose between Hamilton and Star Wars😭
We are better!!!! We have Grogu!!!!! We have Darth Jar Jar!!!!
“Don’t forget Darth Rey, and Darth Nubs, and Darth…. I forget his name.” Rowny adds.
Liomadison gasps loudly.
“NEVER QUOTE VALENTINO IN MY PRECENSE!” she declares, glaring at flam 😛 /nm /lh /sil
“I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I JUST LOVE THAT SCENE IT’S SO WACKY😭😭😭” flamilton sobs /lh
oop i got stuck in italics-
I know, I do too 😀
BUT THE WAY HE SAYS IT BRO OMG ITS AMAZING-wElL tHiS jUsT gOt InTeReStInG
(in reply to Lio!✨)
OMG YESSS😭😭😭😭
We shall (attempt) bring the Triple-Hs to their knees. (Umm there are three of us but we have Grogu) I have a bad feeling about this…… **Grabs Grogu and a lightsaber**
“YOU AND WHAT ARMY?!” Lio yells, smirking. /nm /lhj
“This army!” *stands in the back of the Hazelpage with two Loth Cats*
Lio shrieks. “THEY LOOK JUST LIKE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!” she casually kidnaps the loth-cats and converts them to triple-h after convincing them she was their mother 😛
(yes i have watched star wars and yes they do look like my purr lol)
*Rowny disappears from the Hazelpage for exactly .5 seconds and reappears with three Loth Wolves* “Okay… What about this army?” She asks.
Ofc ofc! Star Wars is awesome >:)
You wish to join this nobel cause? **Throws you an Ewok that is definitely okay with being thrown and a lightsaber confetti machine that I happened to have on me**
I wish to gather volunteers for the Star Wars Army!!! (If anyone replies else I WILL eat my Star Wars day planner) The previous attempts on its life have left it scarred and…. Well, non-existent, but it shall rise! (Umm, I joined Blogclan and kinda declared war, ok then…)
**waves lightsaber confetti machine and stores Grogu in backpack**
*grabs lightsaber and Mandalorian arm gauntlets* “I’m in.” /ref
Yessss
*looks back and forth at the lightstaber and arm gauntlets, then throws lightsaber in a random direction and picks up The Dark Saber*
Lio yeets hamilhazbin merch at moonli and rowan, cackling like alastor. “THIS IS THE WAYYYYY!” she screeches, using star wars quotes against them.
“Well, seeing as you know soooo much about Star Wars, perhaps you should join our noble cause.” Rowny remarks slyly.
” no way!” Drifter exclaimed shooting hamilhazbin shirts out of a conveniently placed cannon at the newly formed star wars side
Lio pretends to think about it. “N-N-N-N-N-N-NO WAY THERE’S NO WAYYYY!!” she summons the spirit of Catherine of Aragon.
*steals Grogu so he can be my best friend forever*
If I am not mistaken, our army currently consists of:
Moonlitpaw
Rowanpaw
Exactly Two Loth Cats (They Can Claw!)
Grogu (All Hail Him Our Rightful Ruler)
And umm…… That’s about it……..
I’m calling Din Djarin, Boba Fett and Ahoska.
FOR WE ARE THE GRAND ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC, AND WE HAVE THE BEST THEME MUSIC.
Would anyone else like to volunteer? We have Ewoks…… Anyone???
Well, Lio kidnapped the Loth Cats, but now we have three Loth Wolves instead.
*snatches the loth wolves after being convinced that her dad had finally came back from the store with the milk*
The loyalist committee should be arriving any day now….. Any day… /ref
An egg breaks open the door, and begins cracking. Flameggy hatches from her egg and begins floating while belting the defying gravity riff at the top of her lungs. “HELLO HAZELPAGE….”
“HELLO FLAMEGGY!” Shrubpaw cries, teleporting to meet them. She immediately takes candy from the free candy bowl and drops it in the egg. “Would you like to join Triple-H?”
Flameggy eats the candy happily! “I would LOVE to. What exactly are the three H’s??”
GUYS I’M JOINING THE STAR WARS SIDEEEEEEEE
Yasss!!! Welcome to our army Jacki!!!!!
Lio gasps loudly. “AUGHHHH NOOOOO BETRAYALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she shrieks at the top of her lungs, summoning her inner catra.
shimmz appears. “werk werk ANGELICAAAA werk werk ELIIZAA and PAGGY.” she states, then disappears in a puff of gay smoke.
I didn’t know smoke felt romantic attraction, and neither did I know it has a gender /j
I love my dead gay smoke! /heathers ref /lhj
OMG HEATHERS FAN SPOTTED
tHaT wAs OnE hEck oF a FiShInG tRiP
Drifter paused in covering the hazelpage in gold and black glitter and sang along at the top of xeir lungs “WE’RE THE SCHUYLER SISTERS WE”RE LOOKING FOR A MIND AT WORK WOKR”
Sigma Alpha Male
Creamos barges in! “IS THAT WHAT MEH HEAR! THE TRIPE H TOOK OVER YER PAGE?” she tsk “I SHALL NOT ALLOW THAT< SO HEAR YE HEAR YE I WILL DO SOMETHING ABT THAT!" (me causally trying to start Hazelpage war 2) "BUT THIS TIME I SHALL BATTLE WITH THE POWER OF MURDER DRONES CAUSE I THINK PEOPLE LIKE THAT MORE"
Note: are we still in hazelpage war 1?)
Fallowsy marches into the room with an army of doves. ‘PEACE GUYS!’, she meows while throwing flowers around the room. ‘Why choose between Star Wars and Hamilton if you can live in peace?!’ Then she rises this flag:
https://justpaste.it/irdl3
‘PEACE!!!’, she yowls once again.