The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
“SLAPPING FISH WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD, AND I WILL BE THEIR LEADER!” Wren screamed at Beepaw.
Beepaw grinned, amused. “Can I join? I’d like to help you take over the world!”
She said it with adorable, kit-like enthusiasm, waving her tail.
Shadow stared at the tissue.
Why am I cleaning up my potatoes?!
Because Embix said so!
Why am I agreeing?!
Because if you argue with a mod they will banish you with their mod powers, idiot!
OH. Yeah.
Shadow stopped thinking to herself and realized with a jolt what Wren had said. She raced up to her with an army of potatoes and screeched, “NEEEEEEVVVVVAAAAAAAARRRR!! POTATOES ARE THE RIGHTFUL RULERS!!!” Shadow’s potatoes began body-slamming into Wren while they dabbed.
“Hey Embix, can I have some of the new seaweed fish and chips?” Wavey asked, sliding in at the bar.
“Yep!” Emberdawn turned around to get a dish. “That’ll be 12 pixels or 6 bitcoins!”
Wavey pulled out a purple wallet with a wave embroidered on it and carefully counted out the money. She placed it on the counter and slid it over to Embix. “Thanks! There you go!”
Jaydapple ran over, breathing heavily from ducking the Slapping Fish. He flashed a glare at his dumber-than-a-kit sister, then stared incredulously at Emix. “Is this NORMAL, Emix!?”
He ducked as a fish tried to slap him, it hit Wavey, and Jaydapple winced. “So sorry, Wavey.” He muttered, helping Wavey steady herself.
He turned back to Embix. “How have you not been hit, Embix!?”
Wren cloned herself and all 1,000,050 Slapping Fish. She used her magical powers to make only her magical work on them. Now, with a new feature: going through walls. They spread back into the world, Slapping everyone.
“I WILL RULE THE WORLD. BECAUSE SLAPPING FISH RULE THE WORLD, AND I AM THEIR QUEEN!”
Fox Trot waved her hands up and down, eventually creating a slapping fish, and Wren proof dome, after she finished that, She ordered some fish sticks
Wishi took down her bandanna dome and it morphed into a spray bottle full of water. “I swear to Starclan, if y’all don’t calm down, I WILL spray.” She then puts the bottle away and sighs. “The only thing that you can’t find here is a flicker of sanity.”
Wren smiled. “CRAZY FISH. DON’T CALM DOWN. YOU ARE FISH. SPRAY THEM, WISHI. THEY ARE FISH. THEY LIVE IN WATER.” Some more Slapping Fish appeared and created a dome around her, to protect Wren from Shadow, her potatoes, and anyone else who could attack.
Emberdawn let out a sigh. “Okay, you are allowed one fish only. Starting now.”
“OH NO U DON’T!!” she yowled at Wren. She grabbed her potato sword and sliced EVERY FISH IN HALF. “POTATOES RIGHTFULLY RULE THIS PLACE!” Her potatoes made a dome around Wren and Shadow smirked.
Wishi smiled. “Spray them? Your wish is my command.” She then sprayed the flying fish, the water turning to steam midair and irritating the fish away. She blew on the tip of her spray bottle like some old Wild West movie. “Want some more of me?”
Fox Trot shifted to her fox form and started attacking the slapping fish
Robin face-palmed herself. “Can’t y’all just make a truce or something? This thing is getting waaaay out of hand.”
Navy nodded in agreement, trying to ignore the fact that she was crying after her horrible day.
Lunaheart sighed and said “if no one will do it, I might as well” and ate all the potatoes, but then she got food poisoning and threw up on everyone. “Sorry” she said sheepishly.
Navy handed her some tissues. “That was brave of you” she commented.
Shadow gasped. “U JUST???!!!!…” she said in shock.
Maple sat in the corner, looking around awkwardly. This was……. strange
Lemonunicorn, for once, didn’t roll her eyes or say a dissapproving comment. She sighed, and used her powers to destroy the fish and the potatoes.
Shadow gasped. “U JUST???!!!!…” she said in shock.
(You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down. :P)
Wishi waved her bandanna once and the whole mess began to clean up. Once it was finished, she was panting and fighting to catch her breath. “Harder than it looks. Truce?”
“Yeah, sure,” Shadow said, still mourning her lost potatoes.