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Okay, so…

I am making a fanfic called Reedsong’s Revenge and I need some opinions on the plot. Honest, please.

Reedkit is born to Goldberry of Mudclan and a kittypet who was passing through at the time, Pumpkin. Pumpkin is gone by the time Reedkit was born but he looks a lot like Pumpkin and Pumpkin’s legacy is everywhere. After Pumpkin left, Goldberry became mates with Fawnstar and Fawnstar is his adopted father. Fawnstar is a great father to Reedkit, and his sister, Nettlekit.

Then Reedkit overhears Fawnstar talking with probable mentors. Grasstail interrupts, saying that she wants to mentor Nettlekit. When Fawnstar asks about Reedkit, Grasstail says that he’s just okay. Reedkit heads back with a heavy heart.

Fast forward, Reedkit and Nettlekit are apprentices. Reedpaw starts to fall in love with Grasstail. One day, after catching a giant, fat pigeon Grasstail’s eyes are sparkling in his direction. She says “I’m so proud of you.” Reedpaw takes the praise, but he doesn’t notice that another cat, Horserunner, is right behind him. The praise was directed at Horserunner, but Reedpaw doesn’t know that.

They become warriors. Reedpaw is Reedsong thanks to his speaking up against a clan at a gathering as an apprentice. Nettlepaw becomes Nettleflower.

During the vigil, foxes attack. They kill Fawnstar. Reedsong is devastated. They end up sitting vigil for him, instead. After the vigil, Reedsong sleeps, and Fawnstar comes to him in a dream, saying that his life is about to get much harder and that he feels sorry for him.

Dawnstar is the new leader. She is kind and loyal, but it becomes clearer later on that she has a certain hatred for him… She later tells him she hates him due to his kittypet heritage. They have a Firestar/Tigerstar rivalry.

Reedsong also has grown more in love with Grasstail, and one day asks to be mates. Grasstail laughs, saying no. While Reedsong was away on a solo hunting patrol, Grasstail had announced that she was mates with Horserunner. She was expecting his kits and would move to the nursery in a moon and a half. Reedsong is very sad.

Nettleflower and Logheart, Grasstail’s brother, have three kits: Fawnkit (after Fawnstar), Flickkit (who would become Reedsong’s apprentice), and Flowerkit.

One day he can’t take it anymore. He leads Dawnstar away out in the territory and kills her. Right after, he sees green eyes glaring in a bush nearby and recognizes them as Grasstail’s. He makes her promise not to tell.

The new leader is Iciclestar. He appoints Reedsong deputy, but then Grasstail spills the beans about Dawnstar’s death. Reedsong is banished fro the clan.

Reedsong wants revenge on all those who wronged him. He was smart enough not to try to murder Iciclestar, as he only had one life and Iciclestar had nine. He lures Grasstail out to the Thunderpath, telling her that he is a loner named Reed and that he needs help. She takes pity on him. Then the monster kills her. He lays her body in her nest. He felt a pang of uneasiness that he killed unborn kits, but he pushes it down.

He attempts to kill the med cat, but his apprentice spots him. Reedsong flees.

He cannot come back to MudClan, and he seeks refuge in Meadowclan. The leader, Splotchstar, lets him stay for one night only. Reedsong wants to impress her so much that he’d become a full MeadowClan warrior.

While out on patrol, he is picked up by an eagle. It carries him to its nest. It’s razor-sharp beak aims for his throat. Then everything goes black.

He wakes up in SunClan, the evil spirit clan. Everything is on fire, and there is no shade. (In Moonclan, the good spirit clan, it is a lot like StarClan but the forest is illuminated silver at night.) A tom, Silverstripe, approaches him, and tells him that Grasstail and Dawnstar are in Moonclan. Reedsong is furious, and Silverstripe promises that he will help him get the ultimate revenge.

That’s the end. Tell me what you think! I left out some tidbits, obviously. This takes place generations before my fanfic The Dark Shadows takes place. In canon clan cats, it takes place around Redstar of ThunderClan’s rule. https://warriors.fandom.com/wiki/Redstar