The Hazelpage

The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.

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[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]

Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.

Notice Board:
Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.

14,453 comments

  • “Aye! New page. I vote for a war between ChaosClan and PeaceClan!” Ember called out, snatcing a flamethrower and aiming it at Springkit

    • Springkit laughs evilly. ¨Do you know who you´re dealing with? Me, supreme commander of chaos and making shimmerpaw get headaches.” She conjures up a shield that bounces the flamethrower back to Ember.

      • “Aw! So cute!” Ember purrs, then she bows down. “Of course, there is a fine line between supreme commander, and ultra supreme commander, which I happen to be.” Ember makes the flamethrower drop in mid-air, then splat into 5 billion spiders that are cursed so that no magic can be used on them and the only way to get rid of them, is to kill them but killing is not permitted in the Hazelpage, so HA!

    • Baderkit grabs a machine gun loaded with potatoes and starts shooting everyone in peaceclan

    • “Wait, if PeaceClan declares war, then they won’t be PeaceClan anymore, just LessChaosClan…”

    • Ember walks over to PeaceClan. She sits down on a beanbag. “I’m not in the mood for chaos right now.”

  • 🌧️🐍 𝕊𝕟𝕒𝕜𝕖; 𝕊𝕟𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕜𝕤 𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕦𝕟 || 𝕊𝕟𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕡𝕒𝕨 🐍🌧️ says:

    Snakey was still being chased by her evil twin. She turned around squirted them in the eye, and darted away. She ran up to the stage and opened her bag. In her bag was a million enchiladas and tacos and fries. She emptied them all out onto the stage.

    • “You’re making a mess!” Shimmers cried, looking at the food. “And that’s all dirty now, so you just wasted a bunch of food!”

      • 🌧️🐍 𝕊𝕟𝕒𝕜𝕖; 𝕊𝕟𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕜𝕤 𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕦𝕟 || 𝕊𝕟𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕡𝕒𝕨 🐍🌧️ says:

        Snakey grabbed some dirty taco meat and smeared it on Shimmers head.

        • “Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!” Shimmers wailed. “I’m a vegitariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnn!” She clapped her paws and the taco meat fell on Snakey’s head instead, and Shimmers’s head was washed off.

    • springkit makes sure to only take the fries at the top and the ones that have not touched the floor, and stuffs them into her mouth.

  • Blossompaw hides in corner as to not be attacked by ChaosClan. She also grabs a flamethrower and book to protect herself. “YOU CAN’T GET ME!!!!!!!!!!!!” She screams as she yeets the flaming book at the arguing kits. The books falls between all three of them.

    • “Why is that book on fire? This is a disgrace!” Shimmers yelped, clapping her paws to put the fire out. “Books are wonderful and they shouldn’t be on fire!”

  • “OK!” Shimmers yowled over the chaos. “I know some new people have found this page, but we all need to CALM DOWN!” She clapped her paws and everyone was in colored beanbags like Silvy had put them in before. A new book appeared in each cat’s paws.

  • Somehow every time I drink C++ Cherryade I turn back into a kit.Full of Energy!

    Swiftkit runs and jumps everywhere accidentally claws opalkit.And their flamethrower goes off burning somebodys ~Enchiladas~.

    oh no a ChaosClan warrior grabs swiftkit by the tuft and throws him…He turns back into a warrior! Swift-Claw to the rescue and fights on PeaceClan‘s side.

  • Flamecloud wanders into the hazelpage, as she sometimes does. She glances around, making a halfhearted attempt to interpret what breed of chaos has taken root this time around, but gives up.
    It’s the Hazelpage, it’s always confusing, they remind themself. “Howdy folks,” she says, ready to duck any flying food if necessary.

    • “Noooooooooooooooooooo!” Shimmers cried. “Don’t give them ideas! We haven’t had a food fight on this page yet…”

      • “I-I didn’t say anything about a food fight,” Flamecloud stammers, her eyes widening with horror. “Waitttttt,” they groan, rubbing at their forehead, “Are there still a bunch of mind readers around like last time?”
        I am thinking normal thoughts, they remind themself, thinking perfectly normal earthy thoughts.