The Hazelpage

The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.

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[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]

Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.

Notice Board:
Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.

14,453 comments

  • *Whhispers to me self* Everyone will just think this is a huge ball of chocolate. Although its a chocolate covered bowling ball. *looks around* no cops . . good.

    • Leopardkit sees a giant chocolate ball “Yum” she thinks. She grabs the chocolate ball and gets her paws stuck in it. “Eww!” she screeches as she throws it off. She claps her hands and the bowling ball melts. She waves her tail in the air and the chocolate on her paws turn into a chocolate vending machine. “That’s better.” She meows. She waves her tail in the air (again) and the vending machine walks to the other side of the room. “Much better.” She meows with a smile on her face.

  • *Looks at Viper* “I saved this enchilada from destruction.” Lilykit glares in hope. Hope that viper will be proud of the brave enchilada that has suffered.

  • Badgerkit sneaks away with the hazelpages enchiladas *hehehe*

  • Pinestripe walks into the Hazelpage, keeping her chicken daughters Peach and Cherry close to her as they excitedly bounce around.
    Peach escapes her mother’s protective paws and skips away. She stops in front of a waiter and starts spinning in circles.
    “She’s just begging for food,” Pinestripe explains awkwardly, rushing up to scoop up the little hen. “Come on, kids, let’s go buy something for you to eat.”

    • Shimmers lazily clapped her paws and Peach’s favorite food appeared in front of her. “The stuff they sell here is a little strange. I’d avoid it,” she mewed helpfully. “Oh, and try these!” She clapped her paws again and a platter with rainbow cupcakes, cookies, and layer sodas appeared. Some porble cookies appeared, too.

  • “You know how yesterday I climbed onto a table and screamed, ‘Long live the new leaders! May the BlogTeam rule forever?'” Hopfall says, “WELL APRIL FOOLS!!!!!! Do you really think I would be disloyal to Cakestar? WE WILL GET HER BACK!!!!!!!! LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Then Hopfall adds, “All members of the revolution please put your name in a comment so I know who’s on my side and who’s not. Also, we need to start plotting how we’re going to get Cakestar back.”

  • Shimmer the were-cat leaped up onto a table and screamed, “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME, MERE MORTALS!!!!” Then started running around in circles on top of the table.

    • “Hmm….” Leopardkit says. “I might not be able to catch you with my paws, but what about my magic?” She traps Shimmer in a net. “Ha! Caught you!”

      • “NOOOO!!!!!!!” Shimmer yowls dramatically, then slips out of the net using her temporary small size to her advantage, leaping back onto the table.

  • DINO NUGGIES AND CHOCCY MILK! GET 5 DINO NUGGIES FOR A RABBIT AND A CHOCCY MILK FOR A WATER VOLE OR TEN MINNOWS!

  • “C for Cakestar!” Jaypaw screams at the top of her lungs. “Vote you lazy hoolagains” She jumps on top of Viper screaming!

  • *bristlemoon (star) was pretty much the only smart and noble cat in the hazel page,but recently…. lets just say she’s going crazy*
    bristlemoon: THE RAIN IS POISONOUS!!!
    two hours later
    bristlemoon:IF ANYONE WANTS MY THRONE CHALLENGE ME
    *le deku mha punch*
    *le all might mha punch*
    *some cat’s dramatic death scene*
    *dramatic sobbing scene*
    bristlemoon: WHO WANTS TO PARTY!!?!?!?~

    • “Party? Wif Choccy milk? WILL THERE BE CHOCCY MILK?” Lilykit squealed. (bristlemoon is a very pretty name)

    • “Not me! There’s already a party in the Hazelpage and it’s driving me bonkers!” She yells. Then she throws a flaming sword on the ground.

  • Mistfeather sits down on a beanbag. Mistfeather hears a small squeak. Mistfeather looks down. Viper’s toy dragon stars attacking her. “AHHHHHHHH! VIPR GET THIS DWAGAN IFFFFFF MEE!” Mistfeather’s speech is a bit off due to the dragon choking her in it’s small squeaky hands.

    • “I WILL SAVE DE DAYYYYYY” bristlemoon (star) yowled *she dashed torwards mistfeather and took off the dragon* “VIPER COME GET THIS NOW” she yelled

      • Viper shrieked indistinctly as she battled an octopus behind the large soda she’d purchased. “WHAT DID YOU SAY???”

  • Uh does anyone have anymore vinegar? Would it work on evil sisters who are not twins and BFFs? Moonkit asks while having her tail tip chewed by Blacky and while being pummeled by Opalkit

      • “HAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She shouts triumphantly, then whispers to ravens OC “heres a mini bottle of vinegar attack the kits who attack me and U will get 33,000000 pieces of all types of fish in the world.”

  • Hopfall comes in with a huge ice cream cake. It is 200000000000000000 feet tall and 300000000000000 feet wide. Hopfall trips and ice cream cake floods the hazelpage, turning the hazelpage into a sea of ice cream cake. In that sea of ice cream cake Hopfall is half-swimming half-eating.

    • “Nooooooooooooo! I shall save the kits!,” Amberpaw mumbles through a mouthful of ice cream. “Ooh, this is delicious…..”

  • “I HOPE THINGS HAVEN’T BEEN TOO QUIET WITHOUT ME!” Silvy yelled as she barged in, wearing a pair of huge sunglasses.
    Then, without notice, she leaped into a pool of mud, screaming, “MUDDDDDDDDD” at the top of her voice.

    • Viper blinked rapidly, sidestepping any mud splatter. “ITS BEEN VERY QUIET!” she yowled quietly.

    • Shimmers sighed, looking down at her now muddy pelt. “Thanks, Silvy!” She said sarcastically. “I REALLY wanted to be muddy!”

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