The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
(Coyotepaw immediately started to advertise her Cafe.) ”Croissants free for every customer who has commented on the Hazelpage!” she would screech, ducking to avoid a firecracker.
“HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY BUSINESS!” Pancakekit shouted at Coyotepaw, bonking her with the firecracker and holding up a sign with nothing on it. “PANCAKEKIT IS SELLING FREE CHEESE FOR THE AMAZING PRICE OF ONE DOLLAR UNTIL I CONQUER YOU ALL!”
“Hmmm,” Creations pondered. “What would the price of the cheese be if we were all conquered?”
“If you were all conquered, I would take over the world and I would get all the cheese I wanted, leaving you mortals to starve,” Pancakekit replied to Creations with a smirk.
eh? THere Is NoT oNe!!!
Creations put on a Clear Sky costume.
“Creation,” Day sighed, “I am mildly disappointed in your DotC choices”
“woah hello there hazelpage,” meowed frosti, sauntering in with a spinach smoothie. “tis been quite a while, if i recall correctly?”
“Who the heck are you and why do you a have a smoothie made of vegetables?” Pancakekit said as she dropped her sign. She scrambled to pick it back up again. “I mean, um, free cheese!” Pancakekit said to Frosti while shoving the sign in her face and also yoinking a block of cheese across the room. It hit Creations in the face.
Creations stumbled and hit the floor, still in a Clear Sky costume. “Ow.”
Lilsson smashed into a table head first from the ceiling, soaked in orange paint that smelled like bread. ‘Goooday sirrr’ she said to a cat in front of her ‘merry christmas’!
Creations inhaled.
Before screeching.
“Cheese.
Helps
Aid
Our
Solemness.
Iguana
Sock.
Bananas
Eat
Sock
Tails.”
Pancakekit blinked. “What?” she said in confusion. “Chaos is most certainly best, but bananas don’t eat iguanas.” She threw another piece of cheese at Creations. “Cheese is good though. As you can see.” Then she started throwing her entire stock of unlimited cheese all around the room.
Sunflash waddles into the chaos. She has recently discovered the STINKY-CHEESEINATOR and is now shooting it at Creations and Pancakekit. ” YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”
*Pigs start invading the universe*
“……..” Sunflash looks up from firing her cheese gun and watches the evil pigs flood her brain.” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” She soon realizes that this is just her imagination flying though
“Uhh, hi?” Violetpaw said in confusion, looking around. “This is the hazelpage, right?” she said.
Creations tumbles in the air and gives a very far away reply. “Yep. Welcome, Violetpaw.”
Osprey quietly connects her computer to a stereo and scrolls through YouTube, wondering what to play
She chooses Tetris 99 theme music, and places I on full volume, before running away
“GASP! TETRIS 99? A CULTURE PERSON AT LAST!”
a cat of culture i see
Snowpuff hobbles in, covered in shreds of paper, crumbles of graphite, and appears traumatized from school and the interweb in a several-month battle. She slowly walks, and takes a seat. She puts a dead mouse on the table.
“I’ll take 5 shots of buttermilk…” She huffs out, while shaking some of the debris sending a flurry of paper and blue petals all over the place.
“Aw shoot, I’ll clean that up…”
Rabbitflame’s ghost of inactivity flits through a window to sadly gaze around at the page she had once spammed. “I’ll come back soon.” she sadly proclaims before disappearing into the silent night.
Loonsong leaps in. “I have arrived!” she screeched, loudly anouncing her presence. “And I have more cheese!” she declares, throwing cheese at everyone and blasting Hamilton music, drowning out Osprue’s music.
Loonsong then notices a large spider in the corner and screams loudly. “Kill it!! Kill it with fire!!” she screams, running in circles. “It’ll kill us all! Starting with you!” she points to a random cat. “Then you!” she points to another. “And then all of us!!! Were DOOMED!!” she collapses on the floor, panting, then leaps to her feet and crashes into a wall, slouching to the floor where she proceeds to lay for the next hour.