The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Leafbirch then summons water, and soaks everyone with a giant water Blaster, soaking and stopping the Arsonists, but also soaks the Peanut cult. “If you do not want to be blasted, peace is available.” She says, and waits, her Mega Blaster ready.
“HOW DARE YOU TRY TO STOP ARSON?!” Flamepaw exclaims amongst the arson cult. “ARSON IS LIFE AND BARNEY IS OUR LORD AND ALL THOSE WHO SAY OTHERWISE SHALL PERISH!!!!!!!!” She pulls out a can of gasoline and starts dousing the place with it. Then she pulls out a matchbox. “LET THE ARSON CONTINUE, MY COMRADES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She yells happily as she lights the match and throws it in the gas. “MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Primrosepaw appears out of nowhere out of the new slushi machine “I HAVE AWOKEN, FROM. MY. SLUMBER.”
“Hi!” Flamepaw mews jovially. “Would you like to join my arson cult?” She asks as she shoves a flamethrower, gasoline, and matches in Primrosepaw’s paws.
Leafbirch then blasts Primrosepaw with her Mega Blaster. “TAKE THAT PRIMROSEPAW!!!! YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR PEACE NOW YOU WILL BE BLASTED WITH MY MEGA BLASTER” She says, filling up for another soak.
Frostpaw decides to drink as many milkshakes as possible consecutively. After a week, she is on Number #8760. I believe she is still going. /j
“Hi, Frostpaw!” Flamepaw greets her fellow appendix. “Would you like to join the one and only arson cult?”
Sandbreeze takes Frostpaw’s milkshakes. She sips some, and then is obsessed. She drinks more and more until she is just a giant glob.
“Welp, I think we need to go to ChonkClan now,” Sandbreeze says.
Well, nobody wanted peace, so now the Hazelpage is a WATER FIGHT BATTLE ROYAL GAME!!!
*starts spraying everybody with the biggest Blaster on the map soaking almost everyone quickly*(watch Sihloh and Bros. water fight videos on YouTube!)
I SHALL WIN THIS FIGHT
Sandbreeze leaps from her pit of Hazelpage inactivity, visits the ChonkClan doctor and is no longer chonky, and takes out her TP Nerf water blaster. She rushes to the bathroom to get ammo, and then spits out wads of toilet paper all over the Hazelpage. Wads of toilet paper spit at Leafpaw, and Sandbreeze cackles.
MUWHAHHAH NO ONE SHALL DEFEAT TOILET PAPERR
Leafbirch uses a round ballon to stop the toilet paper, and throws it at Sandbreeze. “You won’t defeat me that easily!” She says, then sprays Sandbreeze with even more water. “You realize all the toilet paper is filled with water, so now you can’t control it, right?” She then activated the sprinkler system, and gets an umbrella.
Skypaw walked in and started lighting things on fire with her paws. “ARSON TIME!” she yelled, shooting more 🔥.
“YESSSSSSSSSSS, FELLOW ARSONIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Flamepaw yells, dumping gasoline on the floor. “EXPRESS YOUR INNER ARSON!!!!!!!!!!! BURN DOWN EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Flam grabs one of her flamethrowers and places it in Skypaw’s paws. “There you go, now you’re all set, welcome to le Arson Cult!”
Skypaw shoots more fire and burns stuff
“Oh, a fire and water gun fight? Pathetic!” *Makes so many minecraft stone makers, water and fire, and minecraft commands everyone to a stone maker, and then commands everyone to mine. “A few specific cats will help me make my stone fortress, then a few obsidion makers will mine obsidion for me so my fortress will be unpenitreble! HEHEHE” Heatherwhisper Yowled. She also came out of the broken vending machine which still had stuff in it for some reason.”Hummm, who will help me?” she mumbled “Who ever wants to take over the hazel page! And don’t make me get the snacks! Accio Snacks! Imperio! Take over all the cats who are not working! JUST KIDDING! But please, if you don’t want to be anything with water or fire, come to my army! Also you guys can convinse me to join your team, but I am not easy to convinse.
Icepaw gets up from his seat, still sipping his C++ Cherryade. “Hey, good to see there are others who like to remain dry and not burn the whole place down,” He tells Heatherwhisper. “I’m the king of the unstoppable Pancake Fortress, and the founder of the Pancake-Avengers, where we throw pancakes at people for fun. You seem like a powerful adversary, so maybe we could form an alliance?”
“Yes, We shall! We can take over the Hazelpage, or if your not up to it, we can just chill out throwing pancakes at cats.” Heatherwhisper replied. “We need to get more members!
“YOU CALLIN’ THE ALMIGHTY ART OF ARSON PATHETIC?!” Flamepaw bellows. “But I WOULD appreciate taking over the Hazelpage.” She reminds herself. “Soooo, would you like to join the almighty Arson Cult? Or at least form an alliance? We’re a formidable enemy, because, y’know, ARSON.”
“I’m not Heatherwhisper, but I am in an alliance with them, and I would gladly form an alliance with you. We can take over the hazelpage, together!” Icepaw shouts.
“Hurrah!” Flamepaw shouts as she commits more arson.
“SECOND THAt!!” Hazelpaw roars. “JOIN…. OR ELSE!!” 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
“I will make an alliance, but not all members will want to join ✨ARSON✨🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥. You seem like a good ally… Whelp!” Heatherwhisper yowled loud enough that everyone that joined can hear. “Also, we need to make a plan.” She added.
Flamepaw I will form an alliance with you.
Well, because it was my birthday yesterday I will eat cake *eats cake* now I am back
Can I have some cake please 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Chestnutsplash trots on to the Hazelpage for the first time. She has no idea what’s going on; admiring fires, cults, etc etc. She casually sits in a fire drinking a capri-sun, zoned out. She wears some cool hippie glasses because she can.
Lionpaw nearly slices Chestnutpaw in half with a netherite arson sword.
“AHAHAHAHA- Sorry! AHAHAHAHAHA”
“YOU BROKE MY HIPPE GLASSESSSSSS 😡😡😡😡😡” Chestnutsplash yowled, quite calmly. “Now I send you to the 4th dimension.”
Onyxkit trots in for the first time, having completely unnoticed the fire, water, obsidian, and TP everywhere. She sits down and orders a C++ Cherryade, and sips it while drawing what she see’s in her big sketchbook. It’s chaos.
Hollykit gazes around the room. “Amateurs,” she announces. Then she goes to her type bar and types in a single command.
/gamemode creative
Onyxkit decides that she will draw this, but an obsidian sword slices right through her sketchbook. She turns her head around “WHO THREW THAT?!?!”
laughs maniacally“I didn’t!” Flamepaw yells immediately. “Off-topic, but would you like to join the arson cult?”
HELLO FELLOW ARSONIST I WILL GLADLY MAKE DESTRUCTION ACROSS THE HAZELPAGE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
“WOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Flamepaw hollers, committing some more arson.
Shadow the Wolf comes back after another long journey to drop a ring in a volcano and sees the whole world aflame. “Is this Arson-geddon? If so…” *pulls out a Phantasy Star IV Flame Sword* “Flaeli!!”
Fire shoots out of her sword and reflects the dark flames of arson doom. “Let the Cult of Arson unite!”
muhahahahahahahahahahahaha *cough cough*
“ARSONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Flamepaw yells, appearing next to Shadow out of nowhere. She bows to her fellow arsonist and chucks a flamethrower at her. “LET ZE ARSON… BEGIN!!!!!!” She cackles maniacally. “MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!!”
“HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA-“ Chestnutsplash choked out and slipped on C++ Cherryade before face planting on the floor. “CURSE YOU CHERRYADE She yowled and set the drink on fire.
Flamepaw commits some more arson, especially on the cursed C++ Cherryade. “ARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!” She cackles maniacally.
I WILL FORM AN ALLIGIANCE WITH ARSON
“VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD,” Flamepaw cackles maniacally as she commits some arson.