The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
As the Hazelpage burst into yells over Sunflight’s proposition of a formal government. Scorchmist pulled a loudspeaker out of her bag and got on a table. “Arsonists!” All eyes flashed to her “We will not stand for this! As a proud member of the #CrazyAnarchist movement and former anti-arsonist, I have some things to say!” She paused, “In the days when the Hazelpage was young, we defended our home from all kinds of threats. Many times did others try to force us into the confines of the governed. However, we stood strong!” She shouted these last words, “We will not fall to government! I will fight along side my arsonist former enemies to fight for the anarchy of the Hazelpage! I hope you will hear me out, and join my cause, the cause of the Anarchist Hazelpage!”
“alright, let’s stop fighting over who gets to be leader! Let’s not fight over arson cheese and water, because arson is arson, and all arson products should be considered equal!” Hazypaw yowled, her heart lightening knowing she wouldn’t have to argue with her fellow clanmates.
“Exactly. Arson is arson is arson is arson. There should be no more questions after I share my life’s philosophy.”
“The Mysterious Arsonarchy Society!” suggests Cherrypaw, who totally did not just finish the second book of The Mysterious Benedict Society and is not plagiarizing at all.
(I only finished the first, can’t get the second in Hebrew 🙁)
I finished all of them, Tulippetal gave me them
“Hey, we’re already tax-fraud, arson, etc, committers, why not be plagiarists too?”
“BRILLIANT REFERENCE,” Hollypaw yells over the wild blowing of her brand new Elon Musk flamethrower.
Robinpaw held up a flamethrower and grinned.
Reedpaw sneaks up and exaggeratedly trips over a drink. Her paw “accidently” flails out and presses the “WARNING. HIGHEST SETTING. WARNING” button on Robi’s flamethrower. A magnificent column of flame shoots out, interspersed with strategic lava splashes.
“Sounds good to me,” Flamepaw shrugs as she pulls out her favorite flamethrower-the one that has ‘Commit Tax Fraud’ written on it with a picture of the Hamilton logo on it as well.
Swanki uses her magical wind powers to put out some of the arson, but only spreads the fire. She then feels a sudden change of heart, and joins Arson as the Spreading Expert.
(heyyyy wind’s my thing 😛)
Dawnpaw joins Sandpaw, once again adding her trademark spray, ARSON, BUT AIR! into the mix.
“Gow awshon! Gow aiw! Gow Aewokineshish! Gow Shandpa!” she cutely and innocently mewls, and sets Sandpaw’s head on fire. “Wook at it gwow!”
“Ugh, why is Dawnpaw so kit-like now?”Shiverpaw muttered. “Though I have to admit she IS cute…especially when she’s setting others on fire,”she hissed, cackling at the last words.
”She’s an perfect spy…”she murmured, in thought.(I just wanted to cross that out lol)
“Yes! As the expert liquid arsonist on the hazelpage, I say that all will fight and defend the anarchy of the Hazelpage! When it was young, arson was not welcome. But now, let us not fight over water and cheese, and listen to Scorchmist!”Shiverpaw yowls. “All arson is beautiful in it’s own way, as the arsonist Flamepaw says. Hazypaw and I will agree over peace!”
Hazypaw sighs. “Thank you, I hated fighting, to be honest.”
She rose her voice. “There will be no leaders among us (besides Flam, the arson lord, of course 😉 ) now, chaos shall emerge, all arsonists united against the arson haters!”
“Woohoo!! Arson! Arson! Arson! KILL THE ARSON HATERS AND THE ARSONFIGHTERS!!!!!!!!” Flamepaw cackles.
“NOT HAPPENING TODAY!” Dawnpaw yowls, going back to being a normal-aged cat for this important announcement. “NOT WHEN THERE ARE…” she shoves a paw into her pouch, and starts pilling chip packs on the table.
“Not Hot Ranch… not Flamin’ Arson… Not Nacho Arson… Not Spreading Fire BBQ… Ha!” she pulls out an orange Lays chip on fire. “Dawnays: FlamingQ Arson Chips! Get yours today!” she opens a pack and starts eating it. “It’s Arsonly Delicous!” she yowls, then giggles. “Sorry, wrong food.”
“LET THE ERA OF THE ARSON CHIPS START… NOW!”
“Oh, stop that,”Shiverpaw spat. “Me and Sprinkler😉 just agreed to peace, and you have to come along and start the arson product fighting AGAIN? SERIOUSLY?!”
“Yesh,” Dawnpaw cutely says. (I made up that nickname btw so HA-)
“Ugh,”Shiverpaw mutters, casually lighting Dawnpaw’s head on fire
Dawnpaw ignores Shiverpaw for 11 days 😛
“Merchandising, merchandising!”
(This page is becoming so random😛)
Do you think we should create a allegiances thingy? Like Sandpaw the spreading expert, Shiverpaw the expert liquid arsonist😉, Flam the arson lord, Scorchmist the…whatever idk but I think it would be fun😛
that’d be cool, I could be the Cheese arsonist 😛
(I WILL BE THE AEROCAT! THE CREATOR OF ARSON, BUT AIR!! I WILL BE THE LEGENDARY WIND MASTER! (reference))
I will be the Arson Water Campaign Second-In-Command! Too long of a title? Fineeee, how about… Cat With An Extremely Flammable Name? Still too long? Ugh. How about Most Flammable Arsonist? Yes, I would like that title. Most Flammable Arsonist.
“Sunheart, beholder of spicy juice and director of random toasts!”
“Scorchmist the #CrazyAnarchist!” Scorchmist adds to the growing list.
“And like you said, Alexander Flamilton the ArsonLord.” Flamepaw beams, popping into the conversation after getting back home from sparring. “Well, or Arson Lord, like two words, and not just one. It’s not like a one-or-the-other thing, I can go by both,” she shrugs. “I can also be the Hamilton Overlord if it’s convenient,” she grins as she skips cheerily back to her arson spree now that sparring’s over.
That sounds cool! I’m the Part-Time Arsonist! Wish I could be on here more often…
“I BESEECH THY TO BESTOW THIS NAME TO ME: HOLLYPAW, ARSON WITCH!!” Hollypaw bellowed.
Sunflight snuck out of the tavern for a few moments, then popped back in with a large hose. “MY FISH NAMES GEORGE IS A FIREFIGHTER AND HE LENT ME HIS TRUCK!!! DID YOU KNOW THAT WATER FROM FIRE HOSES IS WETTER THAN NORMAL WATER? NOW SURRENDER!!” She began dosing the arsonist cats with perfect precision.
Flamepaw gasps. “AN ARSONFIGHTER!!!!!!!” She pulls out a giant, waterproof flamethrower and begins to douse the water in arson. “DIE, ARSONFIGHTER WATER!!!!!!!!!!!! ARSON SHALL FOREVER REIGN OVER THE HAZELPAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Hazypaw gasps at the insult to her kind.
“Excuse me?” She asks.
“EXCUSE ME?” She repeats, louder this time.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” She screeches and takes out her indestructible arson sprayer cheese. She pours gas over the water and uses her special cheese to spray it in arson, setting the entire hazelpage on fire again.
Everyone stares at her, but she just stood there, lighting more things on fire and “accidentally” burning Sunflight.
Dawnpaw uses her air to make the water go in a graceful arc over the burning Hazelpage, landing on the Keeper of the Lost Cities Discussion Page.
“Oops,” she giggles, yet again a kit. “No watew hewe! Ownwy awshone!”
“NEVER!!!” Sunheart whips back her head, letting out a battle cry. She left into the air, throwing bottles of spicy juice *cough cough alcohol cough* all over the floor. She pulled a match out of her fur, lit it on fire, and dropped it in the spicy juice, starting hundreds of small fires. “SHAME UPON THOU OF FLOOD-KIND!”
(Hey unfair all flammable liquid belongs to ME, the expert liquid arsonist😛)
(actually Sunheart here has been using spicy juice since before you made water arson)
(I know but is that really spicy juice or just alcohol?)
(we call it spicy juice because… it’s funny, but it’s still alcohol)
“I’m the LIQUID arson expert,”Shiverpaw hisses, flattening her ears as she looks at the water. “For your information, arson fighter, I switched the water for flammable liquid two days ago.”
Turning to Sunflight, eyes blazing, she pours alcohol and some hydrogen(or whichever) over her, then starts to yowl. “Flam, help me set her on fire!”
Reedpaw marches onto the scene, wearing “Arson Water!” merch and waving a flag with the big words “ARSON WATER” scrawled across it. “Booooo! Scram!” she says to the non-flammable water.
Flamepaw’s eyes light up as she’s summoned. “OF COURSE MY FRIEND!” she cheers as she lights a match, cackling maniacally.
Shiverpaw starts humming to the sound of Sunflight yelling with shock. “No cat—I mean NONE—insult us and get away with us!”she snarled, eyes flaring. “Cheese arsonist, can you give me some of the flaming cheese? And some flaming chips from Dawnpaw please!”she cackles, lighting every anti-arsonist’s head on fire casually.
“Want some Spicy juice *cough cough alcohol cough* to go with that?”
“What chips?” Dawnpaw asks, going into merch-mode. “I have every kind of chip that exists in normal form in Arson Form! Tell me the not-arson name and I’ll find it for you!”
“Chips (British)? Or chips (American)?” Scorchmist says, confused.
“Both!”Shiverpaw yowled. “I don’t care if it’s French fries or just Chips, but BOTH!”
“Sure!” Dawnpaw sweetly meowes, and brings out her two favorite chip (american) flavors: FlamingQ Arson chips (lays) and Arson Cream & Onion (also lays). Then, she takes out her favorite kind of chip (british): smiley-faced arson fries.
“HERE YOU GO!” she yowls, and throws all three onto Shiverpaw.
“BOTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Dawnpaw screeches. “BOTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Hazypaw scrambles towards Shiv. “Sorry I was late! School’s been a lot recently! Here!” She gives Shiv the cheese and races away to her class, teacher yelling at her.
“It’s fine!”Shiverpaw shouted after her as her teacher started yelling(btw I’m also back to school)
(yeah, tomorrow’s my 5th day)
(I have finished my 5th day and have now been granted a weekend)
A random kit, named Lilykit opens the door a crack a stares at the utter chaos.
“Do you want fireworks?” she sweetly mews. “I heard you like fire!” “Anyway…” she says, dumping water on the arson food and on every cat, then turns around and runs out the door, making a sweet face🙂(totally didn’t do this so I could have a comment on here)
Before she can, Shiverpaw pinned her to the ground, eyes blazing with fury. “Friends let’s DESTROY the arson fighters!”she snarled, voice dripping with spite as she sets Lilykit on fire.
Flamepaw gasps. “HOW DARE YOU DESTROY MY PRECIOUS ARSON!!” she yells at the door, even though the arson-destroying child is probably gone. She continues to glare at the door, then gives up because the door was winning the staring contest, and set some more things on fire.
Lilykit escapes to a lake and jumps in. “Don’t kill meee!” she screams.
Shiverpaw’s voice was full of hate as she snarled, “you filthy rogue! We are never going to forgive you!”
(Purely a joke, ofc, not really insulting you)
Hollypaw, dripping wet, picked up her flamethrower to dry herself off. She helped the others.
Hazypaw stares at Lilykit with a disappointed look.
“MY CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!”
>:O
*wakes up from a really long nap and throws snow everywhere before realising it’s not christmas anymore*
*lights the snow on fire*
*becomes a dragon*
*drinks milk*
*eats potato and chips turns into a bone guy from the comic*
*becomes a cat drinking milk*
*sips spicy juice*
*commits arson*
*pulls out a roasted pineapple still left over from Wills’s old name*
*is sad that it’s not Christmas*
*Continues typing with asterisks*
*sighs for no reason*
*walks in and sees everything burning* Ummmmmm………………. what’s going on…………….?
“MY DEAR, THIS IS THE HAZELPAGE, OTHERWISE KNOW AS THE MYSTERIOUS ARSONARCHY SOCIETY, THE ANARCHIST HAZELPAGE, AND MORE! NOW, COMMIT ARSOOOONNN!” Reedpaw sets herself on fire because her name is so flammable.
“I think Reedpaw’s got it-” she’s cut off by more of Reedpaw’s screaming.
Sunpaw runs over and steals Flamepaws flamethrower and becomes the #1 Arsonist of all eternity. :3
“GASP!” Flamepaw gasps. “MY FLAMETHROWER!” she glares at Sunpaw for a long time before just grabbing her backup one and dousing Sunno in arson >:D
Hazypaw stares. “bread.” she says and starts arsoning random things.
“Guys, check it out, I have an Elon Musk flamethrower!” Hollypaw showed off her shiny, gleaming flamethrower. “Took me ages to get, but I love it!”
Hazypaw immediately steals the flamethrower because why not?
Hollypaw yoinks it back :))
Hazypaw screeches and steals it back again.
“You know, I feel like arson‘s becoming old,” Hollypaw admitted. “It’s been around here for a while. What if we spice things up? What about tax fraud?”
Hazypaw commits arson and stares and Hollykit like she does with everything and then commits more arson whilst eating a piece of bread whilst playing the world’s smallest violin whilst typing on her computer whilst thinking about the birthday party she’s going to later whilst staring whilst her mom is sleeping whilst she’s bored.
(what-
is-
this-)
😛
“Or maybe… a little more AIR!????” Dawnpaw the airprentice says and conjures a hurricane.
“WE SHOULD MAKE OUR OWN AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER SPINOFF,” declares Hollypaw, controlling water in the most odd manner.
“Never watched atla, but sure!” Dawnpaw faintly shouts over the roaring of the tornado.
“GASP!” cries Reedpaw. “ARSON IS THE ORIGINAL! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO UNBALANCE THE VERY FOUNDATION OF THIS PRODIGIOUS ARSON-Y SOCIETY!!!” She sets Hollypaw on fire.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ………….should I…… leave?…….
NEVER >:0
“I REFUSE TO LET YOU PASS!” Hazypaw yells, blocking the exit. She starts cackling evily.
Reedpaw starts cackling for absolutely no reason at all~
“YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” Sunheart screams.
Hollypaw gasps. “THAT’S IT!” she yowls, the proceeds to burn the very tippy-top of Reedpaw’s ears, as if they were candles.
*OvErLy DrAmAtIc GaSp* “ARSON NEVER GETS OLD!”
Flamepaw brightens. “TAX FRAUD IS AMAZING!! I LOVE IT!” she exclaims, showing everyone her favorite shirt, which is a blue shirt with white lettering that says “Commit Tax Fraud” and has a picture of Barney the Purple Dinosaur on it. “But I also love arson. SO WHY NOT BOTH?!?!?!” she declares, looking much too excited.
Sets the tax fraud shirt on fire oops 😅
“Both???” Hollypaw gets a paper asking her to pay her taxes, then sets it ablaze. “GENIUS, FLAMEPAW!”
“Exactly!” Flamepaw says excitedly, grinning as Holzie’s taxes burn. “DEATH TO TAXES!!!! WITH ARSON!!!!!!” she cheers as she stands up on a table and starts burning everyone’s taxes.
Hollypaw tries to light two candles, but accidentally melts them both in the process.
Hazypaw smiles, looking proud for no reason.
Dawnpaw tries to help Hollypaw, but melts herself while realizing she’s made of wairx (air wax).
RIP Dawny