The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
CloudPaw pauses the waffle/pancake war for a minute, and makes a VERY terrible mistake, by meowing, “Well… atleast there’s no Grey/Gray war!” She has no idea why she would be worried about something like it, because she used both grey and gray, so she would be neutral.
edit: page flip!
“CloudPaw pauses the waffle/pancake war for a minute, and makes a VERY terrible mistake, by meowing, “Well… atleast there’s no Grey/Gray war!” She has no idea why she would be worried about something like it, because she used both grey and gray, so she would be neutral.
edit: page flip!” sings Cherrypaw the quote machine, splashing everyone with eggnog. She takes a break from being a quote machine, taking time to sing “Moddos roasting over an open fire”, according to the following lyrics:
Christmas day is a holiday
Of feasting and desire!
But the very only way:
Moddos roasting over an open fire!
Capture and steam them through
Cooking on a fire sweet
They make a fine crew!
Guaranteed lots of mods to eat.
Eggnog and boughs of holly
Make for the perfect Christmas treat.
Deck the halls and sounds of jolly
Snow crunching under our feet!
Christmas day is a holiday
Of feasting and desire!
But the very only way:
Moddos roasting over an open fire!”
Out of breath, Cherrypaw scurries away, pursued by angry mods.
“I literally see no difference,” Leopardpaw yawned from inside the couch. “I use both, so yeah. Do you want a giant pizza?”
Flamilton eyes Cloudpaw. “GrEy you say??” she growls, her eyes narrowed to an honestly disturbing level. “THIS MEANS WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY FELLOW GRAAAAAY SUPPORTERS, STAND WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“YES!”Shiv yelled after three months of not checking the Hazelpage. “GRAY IS THE CORRECT SPELLING!”
“I SHALL STAND WITH YOU FLAM” Holz screeches, charging forward with a bendy plastic sword.
Koipaw yells ‘GrAY forever!!! HEY GRaySTRIPE, HOW IS IT IN STARCLAN? I HOPE IT ISN’T GRay AND CLOUDY!!’
“Gray! Gray! Gray!” Solarpaw chants.
It’s GrAAAystripe
“Hey guys, anyone want a pack of tomato and vinegar chips?”Shiv asked casually, striding out from where she had been watching for the past two months and popping a few vinegar and sea salt chips into her mouth. “Waffles and pancakes are getting old, you know.”
“Oooh, those sound good… but..” Vixenpaw runs over to the corner. “GET YOUR VEGGIE STRAWS HERE! LIMITED OFFER! 5 DOLLARS OFF!” she screeches.
CloudPaw nods, and steals 5 pounds of tomatoes from ShiverPaw, and then mush them up into tomato paste, before putting that tomato paste onto a pizza with pineapples on it. It’s the perfect crime.
Koipaw gasps. “I’ll take every salt and vinegar chip bag you have!! I’ll also take a bag of tomato and vinegar chips! I have ₩1000 (waffles) here to buy them!!” A lot of waffles appear into the world.
“WAFFLE CURRENCY IS THE TRUTH!” Flamepaw yells, smacking a pancake supporter with a giant waffle.
“YESSSS MY LEADER I SHALL ALWAYS SUPPORT YOU” Hollypaw gives her a golden waffle of glory.
Harpy Wynn pulls out a 1000 won bill, but quickly realizes it meant 1000 waffles, and puts it back in her wallet. “Well, it was too cheap to be true in won, anyway,” she says with a shrug.
“I think I’d get the sour cream and onion, hmm,” Harpy Wynn says thoughtfully. “But still, I’m totally down for a good ol’ pack of chips!”
“Yes. Sour cream and onion are #1.” Hazypaw appears here for the first time in a month and then disappears again.
Emberkit slurps her drink as she watches what was going on.
Hollypaw squishes her with a waffle. “Squishing Emberkit with pancakes is so last year.”
Leopardpaw squishes Hollypaw with a pancake. “Squishing random cats with pancakes is so not last year.”
Pineconepaw opened the door to an unfamiliar place. She stood there with only her front paws inside, trying to comprehend the excessive amount of chaos. As cats threw waffles and pancakes and yelled GRAAAAAAY GREEEEEY at each other, Pineconepaw, horrified, took a step back and attempted to flee, only to be spotted by….
Flamilton eyes Coni. “Now what’s your opinion on grAy/grEy?” she asks, appearing from the shadows, holding a waffle sword. “There is one correct answer.”
Pineconepaw gulps and manages to let out a tiny mew. “…I prefer to use gray.”
Solarpaw gives a nod, materializing nearby. “We will protect you from the pancake and waffle war, my grAy-using friend.”
“Indeed we will,” Flam nods solemnly. “GrAy is the ONLY CORRECT ANSWER.”
Koipaw salutes her and gives her a grAY pool noodle
Roxy grinned happily, “Welcome Coni!!”
Before throwing a GRAY (depends on how you spell it tho!) pancake in her face 🩶🥞
“Gray, grey, same thing.” Leopardpaw mews, glancing briefly at them before chucking a pancake pool noodle.
CloudPaw watches as UFOs from Pluto steal all the milk in the HazelPage, then cows yeeted themselves up to the UFOs, kung-fu chopped the aliens, and stole their milk back. “This is normal!” CloudPaw says, nodding, as somebody tries to yeet a pancake at her. She takes the pancake, takes out maple syrup from nowhere, and eats the pancake. Then she watches as the Swifties turn Shake it off to full volume, and Taylor Swift aggressively says, “That’s what people say MMHMM MMHMM” and then suddenly she heard the Apprentice Army explode, and suddenly, all the apprentices had carrot bazookas, and the mothers all had chicken swords. Somebody yeeted a billion pancakes in the air, and CloudPaw eats every single one of them >:3
The HazelPage then slowly combust from the amount of chaos that was taking place within it, and then somebody starts a llama fight, and that’s how the HazelPage was saved 😀
Hollypaw charges past, riding a llama and holding a waffle sword that she most definitely didn’t steal from Flam.
Flam is seen chasing Hollz and her llama, trying to recover her stolen waffle sword.
“The only way to catch up is to ride a llama… or teleport randomly to her, like that’s normal,” CloudPaw meowed, then disappeared once more.
Cherrypaw dashes out. A moment later, she returns with a Lucky Cat mask she purchased from the dollar store for… well, a dollar.
“NO ONE CAN RECOGNIZE ME NOW!” screeches Cherrypaw, then blows her cover by saying, “CloudPaw watches as UFOs from Pluto steal all the milk in the HazelPage, then cows yeeted themselves up to the UFOs, kung-fu chopped the aliens, and stole their milk back. “This is normal!” CloudPaw says, nodding, as somebody tries to yeet a pancake at her. She takes the pancake, takes out maple syrup from nowhere, and eats the pancake. Then she watches as the Swifties turn Shake it off to full volume, and Taylor Swift aggressively says, “That’s what people say MMHMM MMHMM” and then suddenly she heard the Apprentice Army explode, and suddenly, all the apprentices had carrot bazookas, and the mothers all had chicken swords. Somebody yeeted a billion pancakes in the air, and CloudPaw eats every single one of them >:3
The HazelPage then slowly combust from the amount of chaos that was taking place within it, and then somebody starts a llama fight, and that’s how the HazelPage was saved 😀”
Mallowpaw opens his eyes really wide, and blinks. “What-“ Mallowpaw asks, but he spontaneously combusts before he can fully comprehend what in StarClan he just saw.
Deftfoot’s spaceship, the Catalyst, which is shaped like a cat head, smashes through the roof of the building and drifts to a screeching halt. The mouth of the cat-ship opens, wisps of vapor emanating from it, and a tongue-like ramp lowers down to the floor. Deftfoot walks down the ramp, lifting his goggles off his eyes.
“Wooh, man! Think I stuck that landing pretty good, huh?” 😸
A part splinters off the ship and falls to the floor inches away from him, but he keeps smiling dumbly with his hands on his hips.
“GRAY OR GREY?” Holz screeches at him, while riding past on a llama. “THAT IS THE QUESTION.”
“On my planet, we prefer Grae. Best of both worlds,” Deftfoot says, pulling a KitKat bar out of his little satchel.
*she smacked the KitKat out of Deftfoot’s hand*
“THERE IS ONLY ONE ANSWER!”
“HEYYY OKAY!” Deftfoot pulls out a universal eraser. “This device will permanently eliminate something from existence. So who’s it gonna be, GRAY? OR GREY?!” I aim it back and forth between both words, who jump around nervously.
“GREY. WITHOUT HESITATION.”
“I MEANT GRAY. THAT WAS A TYPO.”
Harpy Wynn coughs as dust and vapor gets into her eyes and lung. “That was a cat-astrophic landing,” they say jokingly while snickering at their own pun.
“Tank woo!”
“No,” CloudPaw murmurs- “You landed on a pile of ten thousand pancakes and waffles, squished two purple llamas while we’re at it, and now you’re smiling dumbly, like this is all good news to you.” Then CloudPaw shrugs, “It could be worse- you could have accidentally landed in the POT and listened to the sounds of Mods running this way and that, avoiding apprentices strategically.”
Flamilton runs around, the words “GRAY SUPREMACY” painted on her forehead as she runs around with a pool noodle and a waffle sword. “MY FELLOW GRAAAAAY AND WAFFLE SUPPORTERS, WITH ME!!!!!!!!!” she hollers, carrying a boombox on her shoulders that continues to rotate between How Bad Can I Be?, I’m Just Ken, Never Gonna Give You Up, and, of course, Hamilton.
Sandi got up from eating a dropped cookie on the floor and jumped onto the tables, grabbing her own boombox out of the table.
GRAY FOREVER, THE COLOR OF ALMIGHTY RIGHTEOUSNESS! she screamed at the top of lungs.
Harpy Wynn makes a small banner that says ‘GRAY’ in gray on a gray background. She holds it vigorously with her talons above her feline head and shouts, “Gray supremacy indeed!”
CloudPaw steals Flamilton’s boombox, and throws it into a neverending hole. Then, she slowly fades into the background.
“I hAvE tHe HoNoR tO bE yOuR oBeDiEnT sErVeNt. WHERE ARE WE ATTACKING?” She screeched.
“A DOT HAM” Flamilton yells, quoting Hamilton. “ACTUALLY, NAH, WE’RE NOT BUt WE ARE GONNA ATTACK THOSE DISGUSTING PaNCAKE SUPPORTERS!!!” /lh
Jumping out from above, a pancake landed directly on top of Flamilton. “Oops, that wasn’t on purpose.” Leopardpaw dashed away on a rainbow llama and disappeared back into the Hazelpage’s walls.
“YESSSS” Holz screeches, running alongside Flam.
Wynn barges into the tavern and transforms into her harpy form, but soon gets surprised by the old-but-always-new Gray/grey Debate going on inside. Putting aside the sudden confusion, they quickly summon their lightsabers, holding them
majesticallylike Ahsoka Tano. “It’s treason, then,” Harpy Wynn says as she smirks and turn her lightsabers in a mesmerizing grAy hue, looking at the pancaked and waffled battlefield like Anakin in front of younglings.“AcTuAlLy!” CloudPaw meows, “It’s more ‘everybody agrees gray is the correct spelling except Defty,'” then she climbs a tree, and disappears.
“Waffles are but considerate pancakes…” she murmured from the shadows, eventually stepping out so an eerie light illuminated her face.
“They’ve evolved for us. Created little pockets to cradle our beloved syrup.” She whipped around to glare at the pancake lovers.
“Waffles have been there for us since THE STONE AGE!”
She then leveled with the rest of the cats.
“Waffles are pancakes… BUT WITH ABS!”
“Which is why FireStar HATES waffles!” CloudPaw yowled, shoving 2000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 pancakes into her own mouth. Then she disappeared into the shadows once more.
“BECUASE FIRESTAR AIN’T GOT ABS!” she then took a small lighter and burned the pancakes that had been stuffed in her mouth.
Vixenpaw nods approvingly. “Good job, young Jedi. I have taught you well.” before disappearing into her grAy pancake base.
Flamilton scowls from her waffle fort. “RELEASE THE WAFFLE CANNONS!!!!!!!” they exclaim, waffles bombarding Cloudpaw and the other MANIACAL PANCAKE SUPPORTERS. /lh
Hi Guys,Whoa a war well the correct spelling IS GRAY *slaps nonbelievers with sheathed paw
Hollypaw raised an eyebrow. “I agree, but using your paw as a weapon? Unacceptable. The only correct weapon is the waffle sword.”
CloudPaw looks down as suddenly the skies changes Golden, and suddenly, it started raining syrup. Then all the pancakes and waffles of the world becomes soggy and uneatable, hopefully ending the war… Because now they’re the same 😀
“Well, I’d beg to differ. You see, young pacifist, that while the pathetic pancakes were being soaked to death, the waffles collected the delicate substance through use of their pockets.” :3
*calmly slaps cloud paw with a waffle*
If y’all listen to Taylor Swift on the Hazelpage it will become the Lavender Haze lpage.
“MEET ME AT MIDNIGHT” suddenly booms from Hollypaw’s phone, and she grins as the song starts. “It is now the Lavender Hazelpage.”