The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Shimmz appears out of thin air after spending an eternity in the dark pit of forgetting-about-the-Hazelpage, only to be exploded by a creeper a nanosecond later. Shimmz respawns, somehow holding a Sharpness V netherite sword and having a full set of enchanted netherite armor equipped. “What’d I miss?” she asks no one in particular, dodging a cheese book like the class dodgeball champion she is.
“A lot!” calls Sols from a corner where she’s blasting Radiohead and Nirvana loudly.
“So WHAt’D I mISs?!” Flamilton starts yelling Hamilton, pulling out a full Jefferson costume, being triggered by Shimmz’s simple question.
Wiffi screeches triumphantly. “Ah. See, I told you all that Taylor Swift would give the Chiefs unspeakable power, and that they would win the Super Bowl. And you DOUBTED me. And now look. You need to learn to trust in Wiffi.”
“All hail TayTay.” Foampaw bowed down. “Karma is her cat after all.”
Wiffi nods. “And it purrs in her lap because it loves her. Which is more than I can say for my cat,” she snorts. “He bit me earlier because his food was a few minutes late. He has a very precise internal clock.” Wiffi narrows her eyes. calculating. “Say, Foampaw… Do you wanna steal Icey’s watch with me?”
After serving Koipaw and closing up her stand, she teleported behind Wiffi. The watch she was holding looked almost identical to Icey’s watch, and was glinting in the window-light. “I already have a plan- Classic swap scenario. It’ll be perfect for the job, we’ll be in the history books of- uh- Stealing!!” she purred quietly.
“I don’t watch football, so I’ll just…” Ripplepaw pulls out her phone and connects it to a speaker, pulls out spotify, and starts blasting New Romantics by Taytay
Icemeadow decides to join the great pancake/waffle war. Not only could this provide useful Allies, should the watch thieves attack, but he would also be supplied with materials to build a defensive fort. Of course, being the massive Oneshot fan he is, he has to go for pancakes. He also just likes them more. “PANCAKES FOR LIFE!” He shouts, as his watch generates pancakes at light speed. He begins working on the great pancake fort 2: electric boogaloo. “Just like old times…” he says to himself.
“Hey, you’re for pancakes? Come with me! It’s a crazy world out there!” Vixenpaw mews, leading Icemeadow to her invisible pancake fort.
Icemeadow follows Vixenpaw, immediately impressed by the incredible invisible pancake fort. It was better than anything he could ever make. “Thanks for taking me to your pancake fort! I have to warn you, though,” he started. “I have this really cool watch, and there are some people that are trying to steal it. If I stay here too long, you and your fort might get caught in the crossfire.” Then, Icemeadow had an idea. “Say, would you be interested in helping me defend this beautiful watch from all that oppose us?”
Koi melts out of the ceiling and ✨gracefully✨ lands on the floor, and while Call of the Flowers plays in the background, she ✨gracefully✨ steals the watch. Then she gives it to a Twoleg, who angrily throws it back at Icemeadow, though Koi once again saves it, since she’s somehow a superhero for two seconds. Putting it on Icemeadow’s head, she floats over to Vixenpaw on her cloud.
“Ooooh invisble pancake fort!!” she yowls exitedly. “Hi Vixenpaw!! How are you on this fine day?” Then, as her Spotify playlist plays in the background, she sprouts magical wings and flies back into the ceiling.
Icemeadow blinks, trying to compute what just happened. He takes the watch off his head, and puts it back on his wrist. Koipaw had just taught him a very valuable lesson. He quickly presses the button on his watch that turns his arm into a robot one, and turns on the magnetic lock feature on his watch, making it nearly impossible to pry off of his wrist, now made mostly of iron. The only way to disable this feature is to say the secret keyword, which only he knows. “Thanks for giving it back, Koi!” He shouts at the spot in the ceiling where Koipaw had disappeared.
Koi falls out of the ceiling and brushes off the dust, mews “You’re welcome!” and flies back in, almost done with her ritual to revive Turtle Tail and Bristlefrost using mangos
Vixenpaw sprints over to Koi. “OOH! Can I help???” She asks excitedly.
Koi nods excitedly. “Aboslutely, the more cult members the better! We’re planning to revive the best characters that died!” She pulls Vixenpaw into the ceiling and into the dark home of the ritual :O
“NO, WAFFLES!” Ripplepaw yelled, over the music from her speakers
“Hmm- Apparently in a waffle/pancake war, there is a lot of syrup. It’s sure getting sticky over here.” She meowed, looking around.
“Who knew?” she asked genuinely before setting up her ice cream igloo a couple miles away from the fight.
“Does anybody need some cold refreshments from the heat of battle?” She calls in her megaphone after setting up a snowcone/icecream stand, hoping to make a few bucks on the side while working her regular job as the official #1 GrAystripe Stan. (she doesn’t sell popsicles, however, because she hates popsicles.)
“50% off your first 5 orders! This offer is only for cats on the grAy pancake side! The rest of you have to pay like regular waffle eating, grEy spelling barbarians.” (/j)
Wiffi frowns. “I would like a snowcone, but just plain ice, not flavored. Just normal, white-grAy ice. Yes, I’m weird. I guess I can’t have the offer because I’m not a pancake supporter, I’m neutral. That’s fine with me though. Even though you’re a pancake stan, do you still take W?”
Idk what the code is for slash throughs so i didn’t try lol
Foampaw slid over the shaved ice. “Sorry, I don’t know what the currency is- I’ll take anything but waffle-currency, though! That’ll amount to about $2 USD.”
(/j means joking, by the way! i didn’t mean it when i called ya’ll barbarians :>)
Wiffi fishes around in her fur-pockets. “Okay, here’s $2 in pennies.” She plonks a mound of copper coins onto the counter, then snatches up the shaved ice eagerly and begins licking it rapidly. Wiffi nods and runs away as a pancake narrowly misses her face. “Gbye!” she mumbles through a mouthful of ice.
(ik, it’s just that wiffi is feeling like a people-pleaser today lol)
*that
Koi runs over.
“Wow, I thought no one in the Clans thought like me!! I didn’t think anyone else liked grAy pancakes!! I’ll order 10 ice creams, 8 for me, and one for Icemeadow and Vixenpaw back at their fort. What flavors do you have? I have waffle, Twoleg, and pancake currency.” A video game tab opens, showing her inventory of:
₩10,000,000
₽200,000,000
$40
1 Fake Watch
3 Twoleg Items
10 Stardust
2 BlogClan leverage
“Woah, customers! Thanks, that’ll amount to about $10, but i’ll level it down to about $6.50 if you’ll throw in that fake watch?” Foampaw meows while making the ice cream using a see-through blue machine.
Koi evilly smiles. “Deal!” She slaps down an 8 dollar bill, along with the watch. “Keep the change” she mews as she waits for her order, crocheting some kitty gloves from Mewtube.
“Mouse fur gloves are so soft!” she comments
Foampaw handed over the frozen delicacies before snatching up the money and watch. “perfect!” he purrs. “have a good day! No refunds!”
“Eh, I’ll take something anyway. I prefer waffles, but enjoy pancakes, so…” Ripplepaw hands over $8 Pancake currency. “2 Snow cones, please! You could also have one of my netherite swords, if $8’s not enough.” Ripplepaw pulls out her Minecraft inventory, showing her $10,000 pancake currency, $20 USD, and $100,000 Waffle currency. The rest of it was filled with Sharpness V Fire Aspect II Netherite Swords, all stacked
by breaking Minecraft lawsbecause she’s just that good into stacks of 64. She also has 2x the inventory slots. “Huh. wonder where those slots came from. Oh well. Anyway, could it be chocolate chip? NORMAL chocolate chip? Thanks!”Cherrypaw pokes her head in, taking a break from being a Quote Machine. “Um, guys? The Super Bowl is over,” she squeaked, unused to forming words of her own after her time as a Quote Machine.
Finally, she folds and allows herself a tiny quote: “Foampaw stands up. “CHEIFS ARE THE BEST! GO KANSAS!” they screech.”
Koi steps onto the poetry platform
” Color?
or colour?
GrAy?
or grey?
Favorite?
or favourite?
The answer isn’t simple
though.
you cant spell any of that
with the word
simple.”
Ghosts clap for her as she evaporates into thin air
Icemeadow wipes a tear from his eye, as he claps energetically. “Beautiful,” he mutters.
Wiffi bursts into hysterical sobs, turning into a human puddle as she enjoy’s Koipaw’s gift to the world.
Flamegg tornado bursts through the door and screeches: “SING ALONG!!!!!”
seven foot rats
rats along his rats
Snowbreeze, making her appearance on the Hazelpage for the first time in literal years, can’t help but be tempted. She pulls a microphone out of nowhere and sINGS:
When he calls your RATS
It all fades to RATS
Harpy Wynn grabs Snowbreeze’s microphone, and yells:
Yeah he sees your RATS
And feasts on your RATS
Snowbreeze produces another (and better >:)))) ) microphone out of nowhere and yells:
When he calls your RATS
It all fades to RATS
“I LOVE THIS SONG,” Flamilton gasps. YEAH HE SEES YOUR RATS
AND FEASTS ON YOUR RATSSSS
WHEN HE CALLS YOUR RATS
IT ALL FADES TO R A T S
Ripplepaw just watches, very confused because she doesn’t watch Encanto
Yeah he sees your RATS
and feasts on your RATS
Koipaw is seen in the background suspiciously dragging a pot over as she sings along following Snowy’s verse:
yeah he sees your RATS
and feasts on your RATS
(MWAHAHAHA WHICHEVER MODDO MODDS THIS; MY USERNAME MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA *cough*)
Snowbreeze annihilates the pot with one zap from her super-powered microphone, but her microphone accidentally doesn’t annihilate the pot and instead only shrinks it. Pretending that that didn’t happen, she sings,
“hhhhEEEEYYYYYYYYY
“We don’t talk about RATS”
I am very proud of you Snoes.
I first thought you called me Shoes help
Hey Shoes!! 😀 /j
JhfjdhsgfhkKGHDK HI
Oops I meany Snows 😭✨
No, I know, I just thought my quick misunderstanding was funny! 😛 /gen
It was XD
ShOeS 💖😛
Hiii Snowy XD
Leopardpaw awkwardly grabs a flying microphone and sings-
Yeah he sees your rats
and feasts on your rats
And he sees your RATS
And feasts on your RATS
No way I just watched Encanto for the first time in months just an hour agoAs the door to the inn was aggressively thrown open like an ogre’s outhouse door, waves of deliciously villainous green smoke rolled over the rough hardwood floors. A looming, human-shaped shadow stood menacingly in the doorway, its smile mischievous and its green eyes glimmering with amusement. On the floor in front of it, an army of rats scurried to and fro, hiding in any nook or cranny they could find amidst all of the Hazelpage’s disastrous mess and chaotic discord.
As the smoke settled and the lights adjusted to the newcomer, the appearance of this stranger became evident. It took the shape of Bruno Madrigal, but appeared to be a bit smaller, and its balance was strangely unstable, as if it struggled with walking on its own two feet. And, as it sang, it was evident that the voice did not belong to the prophetic Madrigal. Instead, the voice rang like an enthusiastic meow, sounding much younger and a little more mischievous, as if the whole situation was little more than a prank.
“When he calls your rats, it all fades to rats!”, the Bruno lookalike replied.
“WE DON’T TALK ABOUT BRUNO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Emmy yells. Then, in a softer whisper, she adds, “But we do sing about him.”
“I wasn’t here for one month, what is going on, and why is a mod here-” Ripplepaw steps in for the first time in a month, but get extremely confused at what’s going on.
Snowbreeze twirls the microphone cord around one of her paws. “I heard singing, so I came for the singing.” Ironically, she spoke that line instead of singing it.
Shimmz applauds loudly. “Yeahh, I love singing!” she shouts. She then starts singing The Lakes by Taylor Swift because it’s an amazing song and is incredibly underrated >:(
(Winter is indeed very cool, I agree so much)
“I LOVE SINGING TOO!” Snowbreeze shouts, and then begins dancing to Shimmz’s spectacular performance because she doesn’t know the words.
(Yessss it’s the best season 😛 )
(Winter >> All other seasons, which is ironic, considering I don’t have 4 seasons-)
(True! 😉 And what seasons do you have?)
(Dry and rainy 😭😭😭😭😭😭)
(Oh 😭😭😭)
“Oh yeah? WELL SING THIS!” Ripplepaw cranks up the volume to the max, making the Hazelpage tremble. “‘CAUSE BABY I COULD BUILD A CASTLEEEE, OUT OF ALL THE BRICKS THEY THREW AT MEEEE”
Snowbreeze trembles from Ripple’s power. She doesn’t know this song, but she can join in and fire another. “YEAH I WOULD WALK A THOUSAND MILES, AND I WOULD WALJK A THOUSAND MORE”
“JUST TO BE THE MAN WHO WALKED TWO THOUSAND MILES TO FALL DOWN AT YOUR DOOR”
Shimmz does not like this song, but oh well 😛
(I’m pretty sure it’s 500 miles, not 1k? But oh well I’m playing along with it)
Icemeadow cannot believe that someone is singing the song that he has considered his favorite song for multiple months. He did not originally plan on joining in the singing, but since he actually knew this song, he immediately jumped in, singing along. Only, the next part of the song, after Shimmz finished the chorus, was incredibly hard to translate onto text. So just trust that he knows what comes next, and is also singing it at the top of his lungs.
Snowbreeze kept singing along with Icemeadow, delighted by his passion with the song. She began dancing and making colored lights fall across the stage like a disco ball.
hehe i had the same question :p
edit: wow a willowdawn is here??? :p
“We’re all singing, apparently! Shoes is just joining in!” Sols calls, snatching a microphone from some unsuspecting individual.
Shoes blinks at her apparently now new name, and then shrugs and prepares for whatever song she’ll sing next.
I have started something no one in mankind could ever of come up with 💀
Snowy the SHOESS!!!
Koi bounces back into the Hazelpage even though she just posted a comment a while ago.
“LOOK AT MY NAME EVERYONE!! I WILL CATCH THEM FOR YOU ONLY FOR
₩400
OR
₽100
OR
$5” she mews excitedly. "I CATCH YOUR TARGET OR YOUR MONEY BACK"
She eyes the moddo currently modding this comment, using her magic powers of looking through the cameras. "EVERYONE MAKE SURE TO KEEP YOUR COMPUTER CAMERAS CLOSED" she yowls, making a stand appear.
woahhh
its chaotic in here
*snatches the mic from snowy*
THE MENU TODAY IS SNOWY COFFEE, SNOWY SOUP, SNOWY SIDE DISHES, AND SNOWY SOFT SERVE. ENJOY!!!!
I got this idea from the picture up the top
maybe we should make this a Hazel cafe like up there with the stage if it isn’t already
Cloudo does not know what they are doing, so uh-
she jumps into a vat of pudding, specifically vanilla, and starts making a snow angel in it, gasping out, “Vanilla is the best flavor!”
Then, she gets up, and gets out a tomato, and turns it into a veggie straw, before blowing through it, and summoning the wind-beast. The wind-beast is 95% wind, 2% tomato, and 3% ICE-CREAM.
Then the wind-beast throws itself onto Cloudo’s supa secret storage of rubba duckies, and Cloudo yelled, “HEY, THAT’S MY SUPA SECRET STORAGE OF RUBBA DUCKIES, GET AWAY FROM THERE, YOU MONSTER!”
Then the Wind-beast into a monster, and started honking, and Cloudo scoffed, “I didn’t know Monsters were clowns,”
Then the monster turned into a clown, and it started honking it’s cherry nose, before saying, “I yeet people who think i’m weird to Venus 24/7!”
Holz is riding a camel. We don’t know why she’s riding a camel, but she’s riding a camel. She starts to throw WAFFLES into the crowd, her GRAY mittens nearly flying off her paws.
Sols grabs the WAFFLES and cheers, “GRAY mittens! WAFFLES with syrup! All hail Holz and her camel!”
“No, GREY!” Ripplepaw yells, grabbing a waffle anyway. “I do prefer waffles, though. So I’ll take one!”
Vixenpaw yells, “RANDOM DANCE PARTY FOR NO REASON” to the other 2 people in her grAy pancake base. She yells loud enough that all the Hazelpage could hear but couldn’t see where the yelling was from. She rushes out the secret entrance and sets up a booth where she checked the GrAy Pancake IDs of everyone that wanted to join. She rushes back in to play Chipi Chipi Chapa Chapa on repeat for 10 hours.