The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Wiffi giggles maniacally as she pelts the TADC ranks with Nerd gummy clusters and mini Starbursts. “I love this place!” she screams. She catches a flying mahogany crayon and munches it. “Great StarClan, that’s delicious!” Then she proceeds to begin blasting candy across the room, an evil smile plastered across her face.
(NO PAGE FLIP WHYYYYY)
NOM NOM * NOMS CANDY*
Vixenpaw starts crying as she realizes she started a war. She warbles through tears, “I never meant to start a war…” (No seriously guys I cry over the weirdest things… I’M SO SENSTITIVE AAAAAAAA HELP) She stays in her corner, refusing to let anyone come near her. (NO ACTUALLY IN 4TH GRADE I DID THIS) She pushes the well-wishers away with a flick of her tail. she puts on her Beats Solo Cubed headphones and listens to depressing pop-punk music, such as Fall Out Boy, Paramore, and My Chemical Romance. (BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT A CATCH, DONNIE BY FALL OUT BOY IS DEPRESSING) She shouts, “I won’t move until *SOMEONE* (ahem hem hem hem) comes over with an offering of tiny Bluey figurines in tiny top hats.” she throws her t-shirt cannon, hitting someone with the taco bell bong, and curls up in a corner, ready for hours of wait till someone braves the gauntlet to bring her her bluey figurines in top hats. She then decides to read the most depressing book chapter she knows, Harry Potter, (The Last book, aftermath of the Great battle…) and starts sobbing in the corner even more. She sings beautifully but sadly in the corner along to her depressing music.
Creamos spawns with the TINY bluey figures with top hats and says¨we BOTH
started this war¨
“Plus me.” Foampaw joins in, also giving a tiny bandit figure with a little suit and tophat before joining back into the war.
Sorrelpaw strolls in, sees the ongoing war, yelps and dives under a pile of doughnuts. “What’s going on?” She whisper-shouts.
“Their is a war going on between Hamilton allied with hh vs Tadc vs probably Dune part 2 or something” Creamos the leader of the Tadc side says “wanna join the Tadc side” creamos gets on her knees “plz say yes I’m probably the only Tadc supportive here”
Is now a good time to say I haven’t heard of any of those?
“Don’t worry, mate.” Icemeadow tells Sorrelpaw, as he picks up a donut from the pile and eats it. “I haven’t seen any of them either.”
“Neither have I, for that matter! Watch out!” Ripplepaw yowled as more Jax shirts are fired. “I’m more of a Minecraft fan, but let’s not get a third side into the war. 2 sides is more than enough chaos.”
“Please join the Hamilton and HH side, we have gummy bears and free Burnt Sienna crayons for tasting!” yells Robo from across the room, setting the speaker to play Stayed Gone.
*Flicks back a few pages*
“Oh, so three sides are throwing gummy bears at each other and eating crayons?” She asks
“Yep. Want to join?”
“Wait, so there’s no catnip?” Leafpaw asks, shocked. An evil grin spreads across her face. “Well then, CATNIP SHALL NOW BECOME A PART OF THIS!!” She grabs some bags of catnip and dumps them all over the place, laughing maniacally.
Lionpaw casually sets up a stand of gummy bear shooters and puts up a poster:
“Free Gummy Bear Guns! Only 1$” and cackled maniacally. She handed them out to the Hamilfan/Hazbin Hotel supporters and shot a gummy bear into her mouth; burnt sienna-flavored crayon-flavored gummy bear!
“Delicious.”
Leafpaw sees the sign and giggles the most maniacally of the most maniacallest way possible as she dumps a pile of catnip everywhere. “MWAHAHAHAHAHAH CATNIP IS OBVIOUSLY THE BEST THING EVER!!!!” She flees the scene while eating a delicious burnt sienna crayon-flavoured gummy bear with a hint of catnip, forgetting the 27839 other things she accidentally left behind, but who cares? It’s a burnt sienna crayon-flavoured gummy bear with catnip!
“Wait! You fotgot the GUMMY BEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS!!!” yowls Lionpaw.
Ceamos comes is in her very secret base when she says ¨i SHALL CATNAP(NOT poppy playtime) A FEW CATS AND BRAINWASH THEIR BRAINS AND MAKE THEM FAITH FULL TADC FANS¨Creamos processed to catnap Flamespirit to brainwash their Brain!!!! (helpp idk why i am doing this😛)
Fernpaw eats all of the candy there is. “great starclan, these catnip gummy bears are delicous!” she says as she chew on the gummy bear before smiling menacingly. ” I have no idea what anyone is talking about! ” she shouts.
“You wish you could!” Flamilton yells from the burlap sack in which she’s being dragged in. “But I sold my brain about a week ago for some Hamilton tickets! They usually sell the tickets for souls or kidneys or something, but I never really had a soul I think-” they pause to think about that for an awkwardly quiet moment-“and I lost my kidneys in a bet 24 years ago!” he beams proudly, then clears their throat. “Anyways… EV’RYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA’S FAVORITE FIGHTIN’ FRENCHMAN!” she hollers at the top of her lungs, certain that her fellow Hamilfans will hear her summoning calls to save their almighty tyrant overlord… aka, her.
“NOOO FLAM!!” Lionpaw screamed.
She sprinted over to where Creamypaw was dragging Flamilton. Nobody messed with the Hamilfans, (NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER GIVE UP) She swiped the sack out of Creamypaw’s TADC-stained hands and swapped it with a grilled burnt-seinna flavored crayon. “For the troubles.” Lionpaw smiled and freed Flam out of the sack and handed them another crayon. Then, she munched on one of her own. “nOm NoM nOm,” she yelled at the top of her lungs.
“Thank you my friend! Now, FOR THE BURNT SIENNA CRAYONS!” Flamilton yells as she brandishes a giant (grilled) burnt sienna crayon like a sword, then proceeds to bombard the TADC army with gummies.
“OH NO I BEEN CAUGHT” CREAMOS helped it then had an idea, she hiD with Poor flamespirit still in the bag “I WILL GIVE YOU A BAIRN SO I CAN BRAINWASH YOUUU” at cream’s secret base, she ties Flamespirit in a chair and stuffed a barin in her head (lol Flamespirit is powerful now) 😛
“LAFAYETTE!!” yells Robo, dashing over to the sack and cutting it open. She grabs her gummy gun and pelts Creamypaw with Haribo Goldbears.
(Aargh forgot to do the extra name change so emojis would show up, sorry for the broken display name)
(Hey, wait a second, our quotes are from the same song! Neat!)
(yea I actually got the idea from u!)
“Woah! Me too! I lost all my braincells decades ago, while listening to one of my classmates (No, sills, I’ve not lost my 2 braincells yet). HAHA YOU’RE TOO SLOWWWW!” Ripplepaw yowls as Creamypaw tried to grab her. “Cmon, it’s no use, I don’t have a brain…” She trails off, then adds in a whisper, “nor a soul or conscience, for that matter…”
Mushroompaw jumps into the battle and cries: STOP!
The war does not stop. Mushroompaw announces there is a new side on the war.
“ Team IDK WHAT THOSE ARE shall WIN this WARRRrRRRRRrrrRrRrR!”
Flamilton stops and drops everything, running over to Mushroompaw. “Y-you’ve never heard of Hamilton?” Flamilton gasps, practically melting into a puddle of tears. Then she pulls out a boombox. “Well. Let me enlighten you, friend!” they grin, beginning to blast You’ll Be Back as loud as the boombox will allow.
Sorrelpaw runs over munching on a burnt sienna crayon. “Let’s do this!” she says.
Shimmz casually joins the new side because she has never watched any of these ridiculous things everyone is fighting about and
casuallymunches on a waffle,casuallyleaning back in the beach chair that shecasuallybrought.Icemeadow finally looks up from his library copy of Darkest Night for the first time in like seven pages. “I’m listening,” he says, as he begins printing novelty “Team IDK What Those Are” T-shirts and handing them out to his comrades.
“I’ve heard of Hamilton, wanted to watch, long story short my dad said no, because I had to study. Oh well.” Ripplepaw shrugs and continues to munch on her Lime crayons. “I’ll join. Why not?”
YES JOIN MEEE
Leafpaw bounces around, collecting free samples from everyone, promising that she would join their side, but then runs away with free stuff. When she hides in her closet of catnip, she starts eating all of the edible stuff before slowly eating the closet itself. “Yum!” she exclaims, then puts on a fake mustache in order to get more free stuff, hoping to find a chair this time.
Ceamos stands on the tallest point where EVERYONE sees her “WAIT!” everyone stops “Why did we start this war anyway” Asked Creamos, everyone mutters their agreement “i say we should stop this war…” Creamo pauses “The Tadc side retreats from the war.” announces Creamo. and before anyone could say anything, she adds “and don’t feel so good about yourself, Hamilton side!”
“OUT FOR LOOOOVE, LOOOOOVEEEE, THINK OF WHO YOU CARE ABOUT, PROTECT THEM AND BE OUT FOR LOOOOOVEEE, LOOOOOVE! YOU GOTTA FIGHT WITHOUT GLOVES AND WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, YEAH YOU JUST MIGHT RISE ABOVE AS LONG AS YOU’RE OUT FOR LOVE!” Foampaw yowls the Triple H battle cry as she sprays the TADC army with lime jell-o.
Flamilton starts pelting Jell-O cups at the TADC army. “They’re losers, they’re fossils, and I don’t mean to sound hostile, but honestly, these TADC fans are cowards!” (/ref) Flamilton yells, aiding Foamy in the Jell-O attack.
“We’re going to make you wish that we’d stayed gone!” yells Robo from across the room, shooting the TADC line with her water gun.
Sorrelpaw climbs onto a big doughnut and attempts to make a speech, except no one can hear her because she keeps stopping to munch the doughnut.
“EVERYONE INTERESTED IN THE FLAVOURS OF CRAYONS! I AM MAKING AN GUIDE WHERE I EAT ALL THE CRAYOLA CRAYONS, COMMENT ON THE FLAVOURS AND RATE THEM! CHEER IF YOU’RE EXCITED!!!!!
Sorrelpaw’s dramatic ending gets ruined as she eats one too many bites of doughnut and the whole thing collapses on top of her. “Timber!!” Comes a muffled voice from inside the doughnut.
Icemeadow screams enthusiastically.
“Sorrelpaw!” fernpaw exclaims, rushing over. “I can fill myself with doughnut pretending to save you!” Fernpaw devours the doughnut, letting out a satisfied burp after finishing it. “I still don’t know what everyone is talking about!” she says, a piece of doughnut stuck to the side of her mouth. she then grins evilly as she licks the piece of doughnut into her mouth.
Creamos ignores Flamespirit and sits next to shimmz in a beach chair, cause creamos is not involved in the war.
Leafpaw looks around, disappointed that there is no catnip. She drags a huge pile of catnip and starts cackling manically.
“I NOW DECLARE THAT CATNIP SHALL TAKE OVER AND DESTROY EVERYONE!” She gets the catnip everywhere, to the point where everyone is drowning in catnip as she calmly munches on some.
Ripplepaw goes into the pause menu and enables cheats. “/gamemode creative Ripplepaw, THERE!” Ripplepaw yowls as she floats up. “HAHA! I AM SAFE FROM THE CATNIP!”
Leafpaw brings so much catnip that the entire server crashes. “MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Take that, Ripplepaw!” she yowls back while eating more catnip.