The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Creamos drinks a smoothie
Edit: page flip
Leppo drinks a giant bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos.
Robo drinks a crayon smoothie
Leafpaw drinks catnip, because catnip is the best thing in the world and everyone should eat it every day, all the time, because CATNIP IS AMAZING!!!
Cloudo watches the chaos unfold in front of her eyes, but she sits there completely clueless because when she watched TADC she lost 20 braincells, HH was entertaining but she didn’t like Alastor all that much (I know, I know), and she’d never seen Hamilton.
As she stood there, she took out a cupcake, and watched some MLP episodes… re-watching them all for the fourth time.
Koi sits with Cloudo.
“How do we have the same problems…” she whispers, staring at MLP
(but fr tho I lost a few braincells from tadc 😛 and watched HH and have seen MLP like 5 times XD)
“Well I’m very glad you understand what us at the Triple-H Side are fighting for,” Flamilton grins, “But HOW COULD YOU NOT LIKE ALASTOR YOU MONSTER?!” she sobs. Even though they haven’t seen the show, they love Alastor purely from the clips of it she’s seen and from his songs on the soundtrack. Well, and her friends’ nonstop rambling about the show, which definitely improved her sanity. Hooray! /s /j “Anyway. Go watch Hamilton, you uncultured maniac!” (/lhj I love you Cloudy <3) Then he skips away happily, humming Ten Duel Commandments.
Snowbreeze’s mouth fell open. “Are we talking about . . . pilot Alastor or show Alastor here?” she questions. She puts the end of a purple crayon in her mouth intimidatingly while The Room Where It Happens plays in the background.
“She puts the end of a purple crayon in her mouth intimidatingly” oh my god beautiful Shoes 😭 😛 😛
Ajsdhfhdsfgk thank you! 😛
“Ahhhhhhh, dunno, Alastor who hurt some evil dude named Sir Pentious with a laser beam and acted like it was completely normal while Charlie Morningstar just gaped like oml, what just happened.” Cloudo meowed with a blank face.
“His design is nice tho, but I personally like Angel Dust better.”
“Ah,” Snowbreeze said knowingly, “that’s pilot Alastor. In that case, I absolutely abHOR your opinion. He is the BEST. Except for the fact that his design is good, that I agree with.” The crayon almost fell out of her mouth but she tried to act like that hadn’t happened. “Angel is cool; I like him too.”
Robo takes a break from the war to open a crayon smoothie stand. She starts mixing a lemon-lime one.
Leppo runs up to the stand. “I’ll pay you… 5 purple crayons for the lemon-lime crayon smoothie!”
Robo hands her the smoothie, takes the crayons, and starts mixing a crayonberry smoothie.
“Crayonberry” is an a m a z i n g pun
Why, thank you
Fernpaw drinks a catnip smoothie
Leafpaw watches Fernpaw drink the smoothie, tears welling in her eyes. “This is the most bootiful thing I have ever seen” she sniffed, watching the wonderful moment of someone liking catnip for once
Fernpaw flickers her eyes towards Leafpaw, blinks, then resumes to slurp her pawsome catnip smoothie
I’ll continue here cus ye lol
*Respawns on another server, gives self Creative Mode* “I’M BACKKKK >:D Oh shoot-”
Ripplepaw’s yowl was cut off as she crashed through the ceiling.
creamos is on her phone when, she gets a messege, then she screams at the top of her lungs
“OMG MY MOM IS HAVING TWINs, also that means the war needs to stop, AND THEY ARE GOING TO BE GIRLS, FANILLY”
Cool! But the war shall continuueee!
we NEED THE WAR
“HAH! I’M GLAD YOU WRETCHED TADC PEOPLE FINALLY UNDERSTAND THAT YOU’VE LOST!” Flamilton cheers, jumping up and down in excitement, pumping her fist in the air. “Reminds me of a song!” he clears his throat. “WE WON! WE WON! WE WON! WE WON! THE WORLD TURNED UPSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE-DOWNNNNNNNNNN!” they bow and continue running around maniacally. “BUT THIS WAR WILL FOREVER CONTINUE! TEAM IDKWAOTA, THE H’S ARE COMING FOR YOU NEXT!”
(In all seriousness, congrats to you and your mom! But trust me siblings are a nightmare, I have 2 younger ones, so prepare yourself 🫠)
Haha you don’t know I have *counts fingers* 7 BROTHERS!! so yeah I’ll probably be fine😛
Wretched tho? ur talking to a hamilfan… hello? im a person?
Just to step in here and say that I’m sure Flamilton meant it as a joke! The Hazelpage is pretty much a place where people over-exaggerate a ton to have fun, so it’s not unexpected to find phrases like that here. Besides, they clarify this by saying “In all seriousness” in their last message, which speaks to the jokey nature of the above 🙂 /nm
yeah i was joking
Like Snewy said, I definitely don’t mean it seriously!! I’m super sorry if you thought I meant it though; I’d never actually say that about someone just because of a youtube channel haha 😛
Team IDKWAOTA (IDK WHAT ANY OF THOSE ARE) jumps into the battle and every member is equipped with cannons that shoot out presents that your cat brings home from kitty school covered in crayon juice. Each cannon is intricately designed with the logos of nonexistent fandoms so all the other teams know how they feel. They begin to shoot the crayony presents, showering fur and meat and waxy colours all over the battlefield.
Sorrelpaw walks in holding a foldable table under one arm. She heads over to a quiet spot on the outskirts of the Hazelpage . Carefully, she unfolds the table and plugs a blender into the random socket on the wall. Beans wheel a massive chalkboard in front of the stall. It reads:
Get your crayon drinks here! We serve all sides of the war! Read the menu!
Smoothies………50p, an extra £1 for each flavour
Milkshake………………£1, 50p for extras*
Juice………………………………………………..50p
FLAVOURS:
All Crayola flavours 😏 except crimson, which is sold out. However, we’ll be getting a delivery tomorrow.
*Extras:
Cream
Sauce
Sprinkles
OFFER OF THE DAY:
BURNT SIENNA & RAW SIENNA SMOOTHIE FOR ONLY £1.50!!!
Sorrelpaw sits down, puts up a canopy and waits for customers.
XD RAW SIENNA
“Delicious!” Renda yells. Unfortunately, i know nothing about Crayola, so I’ll just have the sprinkles!” she takes the sprinkles and runs off, but not before hitting a tiny switch on the plug labeled “Self-distruct” causing the plug to fly out. “Woopsies!”
Snowbreeze comes up to the stand with three car wheels, which probably don’t count as currency but she’s sure they will count anyway. “Hi there, could I get a Sunset Orange smoothie and a Middle Blue Green milkshake, please? Cream and sprinkles on the milkshake too.”
Sorrelpaw squeals at the beautiful sight of the car wheels, grabbing them and running off behind the stall.
Two hours of chewing on tyres later, she remembers the milkshake. “Uuurgh!” She groans. “Why did you order so many things? Now I have to do maths in my free time!”
*Grabs calculator*
“2 pounds, please. That is equivalent to half a tyre, but… I love chewing tyres so they’re mine now”. She cackles and hands over the milkshake.
Snowbreeze, now covered in dust from waiting for two hours straight, happily accepts her milkshake without any thought as to what Sorrel said. “GREAT. I am SO thirsty.” She drinks about half of it in one gulp, and then is rehydrated enough to remember something: “Didn’t I also order a smoothie?” she asks.
“oops”
Sorrelpaw waddles off into the sunset, which is ironic because Snowy wanted a sunset orange
“GET BACK HERE!” Snowbreeze roars, grabbing four more tires and putting them on her feet so she can catch up to Sorrelpaw.
“hehehe”
Sorrelpaw jumps on… Tigerstar I’s back, speeds away and sets all the villains free, so Snowy is left far behind attempting to get Hawkfrost back in his prison.
“PRISON?” Snowbreeze questioned. “All I want is a SMOOTHIE – “
RAW SIENNA PLS.
shroomi presents sorrel with some free range bunny eggs.
“Will you take these as payment?”
Renda casually places a large delicious key lime pie in the middle of the room and starts eating it. “Yummmmmmmmm!”
Snowbreeze crashed comically into Renda like a rubberhose cartoon character. “KEY LIME PIE”
Mallowpaw suddenly emerges from his cheese fortress and wiggles his paw. “Don’t mind if I do!” Mallowpaw says, licking his muzzle and running at full speed towards the key lime pie. He steals a piece and eats it.
Swiftpaw screeches and runs towards the Hamilton side and yowls “ We will win the warr
Blinking, Wiffi enters the Hazelpage. “Um… okay. Yeah. I’m just gonna go… eat key lime pie, I guess. And try not to get splatted in the face with a—” Her words were cut off when hot sienna crayon wax splatted in her face.
“Well, this means war,” Wiffi commented mildly. She slinks over to the IDKWAOTA side and grabs a water gun. “Take that, Flamilton!” she yowls while also being utterly calm.
Flamilton, now drenched in water and crayon wax, nonetheless smiles at Wiffi and grins, “You’ll regret that, my friend! Don’t worry, one day you will 😀 ” then vanishes back into the shadows as Hamilton plays in the background.
YES JOIN THE GOOD SIDEEE!
Creamos gets on a stage with a microphone and says
“You know…. people watch tadc once, and be like “yeah it was fine whatever, I guess this guy called Kinger is my favorite character” that was me…. that was me.
I watched it one time and I went “yeah whatever it was a good show” BUT I did get confused for example, I was like “who is this guy called Kufmo who died the fifth minute in the show? explain please! help why are there people dying already?!” (well he really didn’t die though, he abstracted)
But then……. I watched it a second time and that’s…
when I became a faithful tadc fan.
Most of the people I know WHO LOVE tadc, had to watch tadc a second time! To actually like it
so yeah, go watch the tadc a first time and then go watch it second time and focus on the dialogue of the characters.
I will always live for the “Ladies first…… wait why would I say that? *pushes poor Gangle out of the way*” line of Jax”
Creamos wipes a small tear from her cheek, cause her speech was to beautiful
(No actually go watch tadc,… If you want to 😛)
I’m a boring potato
ah, so am i
ah, but I am a couch potato, which in my humble opinion towers over the mere ‘boring’ potato
(okay, but if there are any BLUEY fans on the hazelpage, anyone remember when bingo goes, “bo-ta-to”?)
YES BINGO MY SPELLING MASTER