The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Nettlepaw quickly sets up a stall. ‘Get your Eagles Tour tickets here!!’
A sign says…
Seats Available:
Tavern – 200 tickets left
The Elder’s Den (quiet music so as not to disturb the elders’ fragile eardrums) – 350 tickets left
The Sunning Patch – 400 tickets left
The Hazelpage (crayon snacks included) – 500 tickets left
The Apprentice Army (apprentices only) – 170 tickets left
Polls – 325 tickets left
The Rotation – 240 tickets left
The Music Discussion Page (karaoke included) – 120 tickets left
Buy now!
“I’d like to take a Hazelpage seat, of course! what type of currency do you take?” Foampaw unloaded her pockets. “I still have some pancake currency from the war a couple pages ago- and I might have some clear quartz in here too, and a couple buttons!”
‘Anything of value!’ Nettlepaw says, delighted to have found her first customer. ‘But the quartz sounds fine.’
Foampaw handed the apprentice 3 clear quartz points. “Would that be enough, fellow entrepreneur?” He asked.
Leafpaw walks up to the stall and places some tires made out of catnip in front. “Could I have a Hazelpage ticket? I have some catnip tires!”
‘Sure!’ Nettlepaw accepts the tyres.
“May I have a ticket for The Hazelpage? I can pay with some of these painted rocks-I mean totally real gemstones!” Stormpaw takes some painted rocks out of her pockets.
‘Those painted rocks do look like gemstones…I accept!’
Squirtpaw bounced towards Nettlepaw, revealing her usually invisible existence on the Hazelpage. “Woahhh, I want a Hazelpage ticket! Do you accept cupcake wrappers and beehives? I also have some old newspaper comic strips involving Calvin and Hobbes!” She shuffled through her pockets like Foamy had done to pull out one of the few copies of the final printed Calvin and Hobbes strip. “It’s worth a lot,” she promised, not sharing the fact that this one had a stain on the back from one of those washing machine mixtures that looks like fruit punch.
‘If it’s worth a lot, then I’ll take it!‘ said Nettlepaw greedily.
Squirtpaw hands Nettlepaw the strip, keeping the stain that lowered the value by at least 40%, if not more, hidden from her fellow apprentice with a small smirk.
“I’ll take a ticket to the Elders’ Den and The Sunning Patch,” Mallowpaw says, holding a cup of tea while emerging from his cheese fortress, where it is raining only inside of it. He pulls out a cheese book titled Flames of Hope from his invisible backpack and holds it. “Does this constitute as currency?” Mallowpaw asks.
“Also,” Mallowpaw asks, taking a sip of his green tea. “When exactly is the date of the Eagles Tour?”
‘Yes, it counts!’ Nettlepaw replied. ‘And I don’t know when the tour is but you’re still buying the tickets cause I like the currency.’
can i have the hazelpage and apprentice army also the sunningpatch lol tx Nettlepaw
(Squirrelpaw, this is super unrelated, but could you please change your name from IAR testing to AR test or just state test? Believe it or not that can tell people where you live and that’s really dangerous. Stay safe!)
(state is ok, as long as it’s not more specific than that 🙂 )
i did also a ar test is something different for my school and I am fine that people know what state I live in but not what city but thanks for the concern
Alright! sorry, that’s just something that would scare me so I was just seeing if you were aware 🙂
“I’ll
stealpermanently borrow a ticket everywhere!” AAAAAAApaw said as she took her tickets.“Here’s a penny as a tip”
‘Oooooh, gimme a Sunning Patch ticket, please!’, Fallowpaw meowes excitedly.
Ill take a Hazelpage!” Vix says. “Do you take… let’s see… Oh! Purple crayons as currency? If not, i still have waffle currency i smuggled from Eggo and pancake currency as a certified pancake supporter.”
Could I have a Hazelpage ticket? I have some DELICIOUS crayons!!! >:3
Ooo crayons *Stormpaw snatched one of your crayons and began chewing on it*
“OMG HOW DARE YOUUUU EAT MY SACRED CRAYONSSSS!!!!!”
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
oOpS iT wAs An AcCiDeNt 😇😇I tOtAlLy DiDn’T mEaN tO eAt YoUr SaCrEd CrAyOnS
oh ok, then it is ToTAlLy fINe, dw 😇 😇 (🤬)
‘If you can get the crayons off Voidkit then I will accept!’
Voidkit barges in, and then chicken screams “BJORK CHOP”, and then steals some crayons and stuffs it in his stinky toes and runs away with a trail of markers.
“I didn’t do that, pretend that didn’t happen!” He yells behind his back at the confused people staring back him.
“Say what now?” Squirtpaw lifted her head up, ramen noodles sticking out of her mouth. Her squirt gun slid into her grasp. “Oh-ho-ho-ho-HO, NO YOU DON’T” She clicked her squirt gun and fired at Voidkit, a huge gust of water splashing him. But had he dropped the crayons?
“Well then-” Foampaw stared at the kit running off. “I can now say with pride that I saw a child running off screaming ‘BJORK CHOP’ at the top of their lungs in a chicken accent while stuffing crayons in his toes!”
While everyone is distracted, Fallowpaw snatches one of the crayons out of Voidkit’s paws and starts chewing on it. ‘Mmmmm, delicious!’, she meowes.
Leafpaw steals Nettlepaw’s stall and destroys the sign, making her own that says:
‘I will give you tires made out of catnip if you can do my homework!’
She then waits and puts on puppy-dog-eyes, waiting for her first
victimcustomer.edit: woahh speedy dodo!
“yum! Tires out of catnip! er, no, not yum. Y’know. FOR CARS. LIKE NORMAL… cats.” Amberpaw steps in front of Leafpaw.
“Hello, my good sir!” she salutes. “How are you on this fine day? Can I get a tire made out of catnip? What’ll it cost me?”
“Of course you can! They are very
delicioususeful, and all you have to do it do my homework!” She takes out a huge stack of paper, full of more than 5374324248937 homeworks. “Here you go!” She ties Amberpaw to a chair and watches them closely.Amberpaw stares at the homework, the letters turning to Ancient Greek the longer she stared. “Arrrgh, I just want catnip tires to eat— no, use. WHY CAN I NOT READ THE LETTERS AXZNBGJALKGJ.”
Leafpaw checked on
her victimAmberpaw, and sees that she is struggling with the homework. “Nettlepaw just ate all the tires, but I just got a few packages of catnip off of eBay, I’ll give you them if you can finish the homework!”:0
“the temptation is too hard to resist! How about… for every page I finish, you shall give me catnip?” Amberpaw blinked smugly at Leafpaw and grinned, her paws slipping off the desk and banging her head. “Ow! I guess I can’t do the homework now! I’ll just take that catnip to pay for my *cough cough* hospital bills. thank you oh so very much.”
“Oh naurr!” Leafpaw gasps, shocked that her
victimcustomer has to go! “Don’t worry, Amberpaw! The first 30 pieces of homework are for med school! Just complete them, you’ll be alright, and you get catnip!”“arrrgh, alright. But if I get a concussion I’m blaming you.” Amberpaw stares at the homework and scribbles some gibberish.
Autumnpaw sees Leafpaw destroy the stall and screams,
“bUt i WaNTeD a tIcKet!!”
This quickly attracts attention, so she pulls a red crayon out of her invisible pocket and throws it as a diversion, taking off in the direction of the bedrooms.
‘That’s my stall!’ Nettlepaw screeched, eating all of the catnip tyres in 0.01 seconds. ‘I’ll have to set up a new one.’ She set up a new stall selling crayon smoothies.
“HOW DARE YOU EAT MY CATNIP TIRES?” Leafpaw yowled. “DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO MAKE THEM??” She sobbed silently, as she has no more catnip.
After a while, she realized something. “HAHAHAHAHA I CAN GET MORE OFF OF EBAY!” She grabs her computer and starts ordering 903472934804932840397439847472398473294732487498 packages of catnip.
Ooooooo catnip tires!! I’ll do your homework if you give me those!
Leafpaw ties Stormpaw to a chair and puts him in front of a desk with a huge stack of paper. “This is just the paper homework! I have at least 4 times as much online! Have fun!”
An advertisement is projected onto the sky. It shows Mushroombreeze, holding a mushroom looking thing.
“New mushroom shaped crayons! Available in all flavours! (Don’t worry, I won’t poison the other teams with them ;))”
“hmmmm, what is your most popular flavor?” Amberpaw asks Mushroombreeze. “Wait, are crayons legally allowed to be eaten?”
Most popular flavour is death cap! They don’t believe it works 😅
“I’ll take it!” Amberpaw snatches the crayon and chews off the top. “What do I owe you– *COUGH* mmm, very… Delicious.”
ITS FREE BAABAHHAHAHAA
Firepaw grabs a handful of crayons and runs off saying “I will pay you back Mushroompaw I need them for some Polerecho and Piney stew on the Apprentice Army page.”
Oooooooh,I want a mushroom crayon!!!!!!!!!’, Fallowpaw yells, and she runs away without paying.
Oooooooh,I want a mushroom crayon!!!!!!!!!’, Fallowpaw yells, and she runs away without paying.
How DARE you!
“MEEEE I WANT A MUSHROOM SHAPED CRAYON!”
You are handed a crayon shaped like a mushroom 🍄
“Thanks!” Leafpaw runs away and starts dumping catnip all over it.
“Can I have a dandelion-flavored mushroom crayon?” Mallowpaw asks casually. He holds out cheese coins. “Will these do?” He asks.
Hmmmm I’ll allow it. Jk of course! Nunumnummm
Wiffi cAsUaLlY does the Macarena and cAsUaLlY holds Amberpaw at squirt-gunpoint.
“ah! no! Please don’t shoot me with probably-freezing-cold-water that I will most definitely d!e from!” Amberpaw cries. “Why do you even have a spray gun?! GUNS ARE ILLEGIAL. more or less. They should be.”
“Don’t kill meeeee” Amberpaw stares a Wiffi. “Or I’ll call you Wifi.”
“NOOOO!” Squirtpaw shrieked, jerking Amberpaw away. “Only I get to hold others at squirt-gun point!” She pulls out her own squirt gun, the Squirtlegunbreeze5000.
Wiffi jerks Ammie back and giggles maniacally. “I don’t think so!”
(Ammie says, watching over Wiffi’s shoulder irl, “guns are illegal!”)
Autumnpaw creeps back down the stairs, glancing around to see if her red crayon diversion worked. After pausing for a moment, she goes up to the bar.
“Can I get a Pear Blossom Fizz?” she says in an Australian accent to no one in particular.
‘Do you mean a crayon Pear Blossom Fizz? A mixture of yellow, lime green and light orange crayons, with a sprinkling of wax on the top.’
“Do you work here? Because what I really mean is I need to talk to a staff member.” Autumnpaw raises an eyebrow, because she doesn’t think apprentices can be staff members. Her fake accent wavers as she tries not to smile at her own thought.
“*EL GASP* did the Eagles’s tour Stop the War??? :O” ask creamos
Idk I was thinking the same thing!
*Shroomi proceeds to eat mushroom crayons*
Koi gasps. “OHMYSTARCLAN YOU’RE RIGHT- THE EAGLES TOUR IS AMAZING!! But… what about the crayon stall battle…?”
Leafpaw grabs a microphone made out of crayons since a CERTAIN SOMEONE NAMED NETTLEPAW ate all her catnip tires. She climbs on a totally safe ladder onto a totally stable platform and starts to speak.
“Everyone who is a HH lover, I have just watched the first episode! It’s actually pretty good.” After that, the ‘stable’ platform breaks under her, but she quickly goes through her inventory, grabs a water bucket and does a water bucket MLG and swims through the totally not poisonous water.
“Heh, I’m probably not mature enough for that show- I MEAN MY PARENTS WON’T LET ME OTHERWISE I’D TOTALLY BE MATURE ENOUGH FOR IT .3. ” Squirtpaw calls out, pulling on her t-shirt that says “Alasquirt”, hovering over the artwork by her bestie Witheredrose (follow @Tordilla on Pixilart).
“Welcome to the fandom!” exclaims Robo from across the room, tossing Leafpaw a squirt gun and some custom HH character crayons.
(edit: speedy moddo)
“Ooh yum!” She swallows the crayons in one gulp.
“YES!! WELCOME TO THE ARMY!” Foampaw celebrates. “FAVORITE CHARACTER 3 2 1 GO!”
WE ARE GOING TO WAR!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH HH YAYYYYYYYYYY NETTLEPAW WHY DID YOU EAT ALL THE CATNIP TIRES I WAS GOING TO STEAL THEM FROM LEAFPAW I MEAN WHY THEY ARE GOOD T-T
“WELCOME TO THE H’S, MY DEAR FRIEND!” Flamilton yells from the Triple-H Fortress.
Mallowpaw emerges from the shadows and notices Leafpaw and Nettlepaw’s conflict over shops and catmint tires. He suddenly has an intense flashback and digs through the layer of cheese, snow, Coke, pancakes, waffles, and all sorts of junk crowding the Hazelpage floor. He find Dawnwind’s old shop from a couple of months ago and clears the area around it. “Selling cheese books!” Mallowpaw shouts as he cleans and repurposes the shop and places a few hundred cheese books on the counter. “I have the whole Wings of Fire series, and the Warriors series! All made of cheese!”
MEEE! cries Roxy, throwing all her cheese coins at Mallow, shouting, MEEE I WANT CHEESE BOOKS!
Mallowpaw looks to his side. “I can’t really help you now,” he mutters. “You’d better talk to Leafpaw before she eats every cheese book.”
Roxy gasps, “Oh no! Not the CHEEESEEE!”
She runs off to Leafpaw, determined to get back the cheesebooks.
Leafpaw grabs all the cheese books when Mallowpaw isn’t looking, and is so quick that no one saw her. She then starts nibbling the pages while reading the books, sprinkling a bit of catnip on it.
(also me and one of my irl friends are having an arguement on whether catnip or catmint is better so you better not say catmint instead of catnip)
*Autumnpaw takes a bite out of Leafpaw’s cheese book*
“Mmmmm, thanks.” she says with her mouth full, still trying to speak in her strange Australian accent. “Do you know someone that works here?”
“HEY!! THAT’S MY BOOK THAT I TOTALLY DID NOT STEAL” Leafpaw stuffs all the books into her mouth, she’d read most of them already. “HAHAHAHA!! NOW YOU CAN’T EAT THEM!”
“Awww…” Autumnpaw shrugs. “Whatever. It wasn’t even that good anyway. And I ask once again, where do I get a room and who would be accepting my payment? This place is a mess.” she glances around, noting the castle made of cheese in the corner and the various shops and stalls scattered around.
“I don’t really know.” Leafpaw was already bouncing away, her mouth full of cheese books. “But you better not go anywhere near my closet of catnip!” She somehow reaches her closet in less than 0.000001 seconds and curls up inside a tiny little cardboard box hidden inside 192731893719837893719 piles of catnip.
Autumnpaw rolls her eyes, grumbling slightly.
“Fine then. I’ll ask someone else.” she glances around, then walks to the counter.
“Hello? Can I talk to someone who works here? I heard something about Embix running the place?”
“GIMME SOME!” Em yells, throwing money on the counter. “CHEESE IS GUD. BOOKS ARE GUD. CHEESE BOOKS ARE GUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
‘Ew, cheese is DISGUSTING!!!!’, Fallowpaw schreaches and she vomits on her stolen mushroom-crayon. ‘Ooooh, I have an idea!!!!’, she suddenly meowes, and in 2 seconds she sets up a stall. ‘Buy your warrior cats books here! Pay with a mushroom-crayon!’, she yells.
‘Well, I’m selling tasty crayon smoothies for a better price!’ yowls Nettlepaw,
totally not trying to start another warFallowpaw quickly changes the price on Nettlepaw’s stall. ‘Look how expansive that is!!!!’, she shouts while pointing at the stall. ‘Mine is so much better!!!!!!!!!’
‘Don’t listen to her!’ Nettlepaw warns, silently changing the price on Fallowpaw’s stall. ‘She tells nothing but lies.’
‘Listen to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! My books are totally not gonna fall apart when you open them!’, Fallowpaw shouts while holding a book. It falls apart.
MY PINEY STEW WITH CRAYONS ARE BETTER THAN YOUR CRAYONS NETTLEPAW!!! firepaw changes her price lower than Fallowpaws and Nettlepaws prices
I WANT WARRIOR CAT CHEESE BOOKS
Roxy slams open the doors of the hazelpage, leaps onto the table, and shouts,
” VEX ROBOTICS IS COOL, CHECK IT OUT!!!”
before jumping down and scurrying back into the chaos of the hazelpage.
“Whats vex robotics?” Renda shrieks, numping onto Roxy’s table.
“it-it’s a pretty cool elective! Basically- building robots but for students!” Roxy cried, thrilled to find someone curious. 😛
Holz becomes a mad scientest, puts on a eye-scorching purple-with-yellow-spots lab coat, and gets out a weird-smelling and evil-looking test tube.
“HELLO
LAB RATSFRIENDS, I AM EXCITED TOUSE MY INVENTIONS ON YOUHAVE FUN WITH YOU GUYS!!! WHY DON’T YOU JUST TAKE A SEAT IN MYCHEESE-IFIER 4000WONDERFUL COMFY ARMCHAIR!!!”definitely didn’t just learn how to put a strike through text and wanted to test it out“Hmm, is there any catnip involved?” Leafpaw asks while munching on some catnip.
‘I want to be your victim/friend!!!!!’, Fallowpaw yells and she jumps in the ‘wonderful comfy armchair’.
Firepaw pushes Fallowpaw out of the chair and runs off into the hazelpage
How very nice to meet you
Join the clubUntelated, but how do you strike through text?
(del)stuff(/del) but using the pointy ones instead
Flamilton hides in the Triple-H Fort, watching from afar as she doesn’t want to be experimented on but would love to see what happens to everyone else.
Leafpaw goes into her closet of catnip and starts grabbing a bunch of random stuff. She uses the power of the ✨crafting table✨ and starts combining them all to make… EVEN MORE CATNIP.
“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM UNDEFEATABLE! NOW THAT I KNOW THE SECRET RECIPE OF CATNIP, EVERYONE SHALL BE DESTROYED!” she yowls as she casually scrolls through TikTok. “NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!!”
“Oh no!” cries Roxy, then, takes some of Mallow’s cheese books. “Countered with CHEESE! Cheese shall RULE the hazelpage!!” 🧀🧀🧀
NOOOO! CATNIP shall rule the Hazelpage!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CRAYONS AND CATNIP SHALL RULE THE HAZELPAGE
“No, catnip shall rule the Hazelpage! NO CRAYONS ALLOWED!”
YESS CRAYONS I WILL GO TO WAR FOR CRAYONS
“yayyyy, catnip! yayyyy, cheese!” Fernaw meowed, inocently and genuinely happy that people are talking about things she understands.
*casually destroys all the carfting tables and trees and burns them all* “Are you sure about that?”
“Yes, Ripplepaw, I am very sure about that!” Leafpaw holds out her crafting tables, overflowing with catnip. “You made a typo! All of the carfting tables may be gone, but I still have my crafting tables! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!”