The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitinglyΒ and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rusticΒ carumΒ bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls,Β three floorsΒ and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top!Β We’ve returned, freeΒ from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up yourΒ HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Koi stares blankly at everything like Niffty does in front of a camera, before speaking. “Bro it’s so chaotic, I love it but it’s so chaotic I think I’m becoming insane… bleh :p”
Koi does a backflip.
Koi does a frontflip
Koi attempts a page flip.
Edit: Second page flip I’ve made..??? Also who knows, someone else might have an unmodded comment that ACTUALLY flipped the page hehe :p
Pumpkinpaw is confoozed, having no idea who Niffty is. “Is she from Hazbin Hotel? I’ve only watched the Pilot episode and I think I’ve seen her. Anyways, catnip is better than all and Niffty does not matter.” She starts throwing catnip at whoever she can.
Silvsy disagrees. “ABSURDCLAN IS SUPREME! Catnip will NEVER win. CHAOS AND MEMES FOR LIFE!!!”
YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO NIFFTY IS HOW DARE YOU ATTACK MY CRAYON ARMY
Ummm… I also don’t know who Nifty is… (plz don’t kick me out of the crayon side)
“Yes Niffty is from Hazbin,” Koi confirms. They turn around and begin doing handsta- er, pawstands. Koi walks around the Hazelpage on her paws, before flipping back to normal and then beginning to sing a random song.
*Dodges catnips and gets a explosive crayon and fires it at the catnip supplies * ” Muah hahahhahahahhaha! The missiles shall explode in 3..2..”
Harpy Wynn watches Koi flipping. (Gosh, that sounds so off :P)
Yes Koi is flipping… um they’re flipping backflips and pageflips and front flips hehe
:O
TwistedStalk is confused. Heck, she doesn’t even know how she got here.
“wELL hElLO, newcomer!” Flamilton grins, appearing out of nowhere from the shadows. “It looks like you could use some help from the big boss of the H’s themself!” she smiles even wider, very pleased with her Hazbin reference. “Care to join the H’s? We have cookies!” he pulls out 5 cookies from his pocket, demonstrating the glory of the H’s.
Silverstar yeets Flam into the volcano. “nope, nope, and NOPE.”
Harpy Wynn abandons her double-bladed lightsaber and puts on a clone force 99 helmet with clone war era blasters in one of her talons and a blue lightsaber on the other side. “Now I’m even more committed to the Star Wars side; long live the Galactic Republic!” She yells, flinging her body to a nearby pocket ball table.
Guys, I found a poster for the Star Wars lovers side!
https://images.app.goo.gl/UdS3FiE2i3zDSjCp7
yesss, I have that poster in my room!
Lettuce flavoured crayons in honour of the Darth Fallow and Shroomi collab!
Yessssss!!!!!!
I AM THE MIGHTY SHROOMRISE NOW AHAHA
Or should I be Sunshroom?
Alasquirt rolls out a trail of water cannons, standing on their magical stage. βAttention, everyone!β they yowl, grinning. βYes, I know itβs been a while since someone with style treated the Hazelpage to war water weapons worth using, armies, rejoice! I present to you, the SquirtlegunbreezeCANNON+Caffeine7000! Light, powered by solar caffeine, easy to refill, and easy to fire! Simply aim at your enemies and shoot!β Their grin widens. βOnly five tons of pretzels each cannonβ¦β
nonono Squrr you gotta say it like β¨ s t y l e β¨ otherwise it’s just not right /j“Instead of a cloud-chasing, mediocre catnip lover!” Flamilton adds, grinning.
Ahhhhh how did I ever forget π /jβAre catnip-lovers insecure, perusing and provoking war?β Their grin grows wider.“Fiddling between catnip and chaos, is nothing working?” she agrees, both of them now grinning maniacally.
βOh, they shall listen to our chirping! Every day, we have stronger formats! Theyβre looking at the future, weβre the side that wins before that!β They begin to cackle, holding their grin like Flamilton.
Flamilton starts doing a very strange dance as by now they’re high on sugar and pumped up and ready to destroy Team Catnip. “Are they as strong as they purport, or is it based on their support? They’d be powerless without those catnip leaves!”
Koi claps wildly, watching this amazing adapation of an amazing Hazbin song that still rhymes. “WOO!!” They throw roses at the stage.
Robo heard the song from all the way across the hazelpage and immediately came over and started dancing along.
βOh, I see! And hereβs the sugar on the breeze, they will be the losing team! Theyβll feel sorry they didnβt join when they had the possibility!β Alasquirt copies Flamiltonβs strange dance as they jump into a tap-dancing Hamilton duet.
“I shockingly don’t have 5 tons of pretzels, but I do have some
painted rocksgemstones!”βGemstones, you say? Well, thenβ¦β They stroke their chin very β¨smartlyβ¨. βAlright thenβ¦ twenty for one cannon. Take it or leave it.β
“on second thought, I just realized the hazelpage is all about chaos.” Fernpaw nodded. “so I suppose I should… steal it!” Fernpaw dashed away with the SquirtlegunbreezeCANNON+Caffeine7000 completely forgetting her
painted stonesgemstones and leaving them behind.Alasquirt stares for a moment in disbelief before realizing Fernpaw left behind the βgemstonesβ. They pick them up and cackle quietly. βYouβll have to try harder than that, my friendβ¦β They make their way back to the stage, waiting for their next
victimscustomers.MelodyPaw just sits on a seat, her eyes blank. βAlright. Letβs do this, I guessβ she said, rolling up her sleev-FUR as she accidentally pours her juice on Harpy Wynn. MelodyPaw suddenly stands up on her seat and starts to belt out Taylor Swift songs. after she is done she yowls βYALL JOIN THE CATNIP JUICE SIDE! I AM THERE LEADER AND WE WILL MAKE A BIG FORTRESS AND MAKE AN EVIL ARMY OF TAMED GOOBERS. OH AND WE WILL RULE THE WORLD TOO. WHOS IN?β She smiles her goofy smile, everyone now looking at her.
Flamilton watches the scene play out with their extremely high-tech hand binoculars from the H Tower. “Diabolical!” they growl to their fellow H’s. “I think we’re gonna have to make them wish that they’d stayed gone!”
Alasquirt sighs with a lollipop sticking out of their mouth. βTheyβre gonnaβ¦ say hello to a new side of warrrr! Everyone knows this side shall win it allβ¦ fire the cannons OFFFF!β
“And BOOM! goes the cannon!” Flamilton yells excitedly. She yells at the screen she and Squrr are staring a bit too excitedly at, “weLCOME to the war!”
Robo fires the cannons, humming You’ll Be Back.
Hopping in here to give you props for the Newsies lyrics
Thanks!
Harpy Wynn stands up and shakes the juice off. She creates a twenty-meter long speaker and turns on Smells Like teen Spirit by Nirvana, bobbing her head to the music. “Nirvana is so much better than catnips!” She screeches as she lands on the top of the gigantic speaker, ultimately claiming the high ground just like Obi-Wan Kenobi.
TwistedStalk is literally so freaked out right now. She looks around at the CHAOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS CHAOS CHAOS
“I THINK IM GOIN’ CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYY”, she howls dramatically. “I GOTTA GIT OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAA HERE”. With a growl, she whips around and walks in circles cuz why not.
same-
βUHβ¦.I SAID WHOS IN?β MelodyPaw mewed again, this time grabbing her pet goober-rock.
βIβm not!β shouts Rosekit randomly, while everyone just stares at her.
Edit: Then Rosekit changed her mind and decided to join with a satisfied smile. π
Silverstar puts up a metal sign on the wall that says “sign up for AbsurdClan, a very chaotic clan that fights for the power of memes and chaos! Join now!”
Darth Fallow randomly starts humming the Empire jingle (Star Wars fans know what I’m talking about) MUCH, MUCH louder than the Hamilsomething people sing their Hamilsomething stuff and all anybody can hear is the Empire jingle.
Creams appears next to Koi “um hey, um I’m kinda bored of the war so can i watch one piece with you, after that i’ll be back in the war π “
Koi nods excitedly. “yesyesyes of course lemme set up the TV.”
Fernpaw stepped up onto the great pancake. (which she just made in 0.7458793459 seconds)
“why should we be following this ‘Hamilsomething’ thing? why shouldn’t Star Wars be in the war? I hereby announce Fallowpaw and I are a part of the Star Wars Band!! it even has war in its name! 316241326480730 cookies to those who want to join!”
Fernpaw then begins flinging light sabers all over the place.
YASSSSS, STAR WARS WILL RULE THE HAZELPAGE!!!!