The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Twisted steps out from under the cardboard box she eventually decided to hide under. “What’s catnip?” she says.
Pumpkinpaw gasps and starts taking a HUGE stack of catnip. “How could you not know what catnip is?” she asks while trying to get Twisted a catnip lover. “Why, it has to be the best thing known to cat! It is a wonderful plant that us catnip lovers believe is superior, if you join our side (the strongest), you will not be obliterated! What do you say?” She hands Twisted the 1,000 page contract and catnip. “You’ll love it, don’t worry!”
“It tastes like… uhhhh….. grass.” Twisted wrinkles her muzzle. “No joke it’s wierd….” Suddenly her fur puffs out real funny and she leaps up. “HYPER TIME, YA’LL”, She screams.
“OH NO PUMPKINPAW WILL BE MAD! I MUST HIDE!” Creams hides under paarty bush “AHHH YES! i’m safe”
Then Twisted looks around. By far, she has never seen anything as weird as this… Not even the time when she was captured by no-snouts (humans).
“How could you call this weird?” Pumpkinpaw asks while throwing catnip at a bunch of non-catnip supporters. “It’s only some people throwing stuff at one another while trying to brainwash everyone and trade souls! Who wouldn’t love that?”
Alasquirt crawls through an ancient, dusty Egyptian tunnel and gasps as they find what they’ve been searching for. “At last!” they exclaim, unaware if anyone was listening or watching. “The answer to how to win the war; I have it! I must bring this to Flamilton and the other H’s instantly! Hopefully nobody will cat-nap me and hold me hostage, because I’m eating this ancient scroll and now only I have the answer!” They yell through the tunnels obliviously
and a bit cluelessly. Alasquirt slowly begins crawling back, so slow anyone could catch them, while swallowing the ancient scroll and letting their stomach acids destroy it forever and ever… and ever and ever and everrrrrrrrrrrr….“What is it?!” Robo crawled out of the ceiling, where she had apparently been the entire time. “What does it say?”
“It said-” Alasquirt broke off with a scream as Pumpkinpaw traps them. “REMEMBER ME ROBO!” They shriek as they pass out from the stink of the potato sack of the comment below.
Pumpkinpaw grabs a sack of potatoes and empties it out. “OH NO YOU DON’T!” she yowls as she traps Alasquirt in it. “CATNIP SHALL WIN THIS WAR!” She drags the sack to the catnip base to keep hostage.
Alasquirt screams as they’re trapped and passes out from the potato scent, but at least the scroll had already been dissolved…
Creams grabs a sack and CAT-NAPS Alasquirt “MWHAHA
(I mean, you and Pumpkin are basically on the same side, sooo tEcHnicALLy I’ve already been cat-napped by you 😛)
( 😛 )
I will go inactive again very soon because of reasons I’d rather not talk about here, but I will be back, love all you guys ❤
I hope you live an awesome life, I think you’re great! <333
We’ll be waiting for you Robo, take all the time you need <3
See you later <33
Real life first 🙂
Lionpaw comically slides in front of Pumpkinpaw, obscuring her from Twisted’s view. “Ahah, don’t listen to her. She’s delusional. Join the Triple H’s! Hamilton and Hazbin Hotel! It’s way better!!! We even have a
knockoffreplica of the Vees’ Tower! Please join us!!! I sang a whole song on a different page about changing others’ minds, pleeeeeeeeeeease!” Lionpaw mews, puppy dog eyes shining and she gets on her knees. “FLAM! GET OVER HERE! WE HAVE A NEW SOUL TO CORRUP- er, CONVINCE TO JOIN THE H’s!” She screams.“NO, DON’T LISTEN TO HER!” Pumpkinpaw yowls as she delets Lionpaw from existence with catnip. “JOIN OUR SIDE, IT SHALL WIN THE WARRR! FREE CATNIP AND COOKIES THAT PREVENT STRESS AND GET YOU BETTER SCORES ON TESTSTSTSTS!”
“OH YEAH?” growls Lionpaw, covered head to toe in catnip. “Well, we have special CUSTOM cookies and there ARE. NO. TESTS. allowed! So there.” she huffs, becoming Vox and teleporting through the Mododo Angelic Security Cam (idk that was a trash ref) that’s totally not a Hazbin ripoff back to the tower. She begins to blast Pop! (Cherri’s Assault) while lip-synching at Pumpkinpaw, a smug grin on her face when Pumpkinpaw looks at her confusedly. She sticks her tongue out at Pumpkinpaw and shakes off all the catnip.
Flamilton appears out of the shadows. “YOU CALLED?!”
“NO SHE DIDN’T” Lied Cine as she stuffs Flam in a potato sack
“Yeah, we need Twisted on our side!” Lionpaw mewed.
Silverstorm covers her ears with her paws. “AAAAAAA WHY SO MANY CHAOS??? wait ik! I’m just gonna keep the scores for the hazelpage xD” *either that or join a different side, which ones do I have the most in common with?
“JOIN THE CATNIP SIDE!!” Pumpkinpaw yowls as she hands Silverpaw some wonderful catnip. “We’ll give you cookies that prevent stress and give you better scores on tests!” She holds the cookie in one hand and the contract in the other. “All you have to do is sign here, even if it’s just a scribble!”
Hamilton and Hasbin Hotel are out cuz idk those, uhh yes, I’ll join the catnip side. *reads contract and signs it* OK GIMME THOSE COOKIES I HAVE EXAMS COMING UP >:3
(for those who are wondering this is my chaotic side)
“I AM JUST HERE CAUSE YES!” Screams Creams as she pats Silverlino (Hehe) “I am friends with the catnip side :D”
“Silverlino? What?” Silvs is cornfused (ehehe confused. it’s a joke in my family).
(Me just making up a nickname 😛 )
Pumpkinpaw gives Creamypaw and Silverpaw some catnip as she munches on her own. “Catnip is by far the best side! The other sides shall lose! Now, who else wants to join our side for free catnip and cookies that prevent stress and give better scores on tests?”
Lionpaw begins sobbing uncontrollably. “NAURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR we lost another one to c-c-catnip!” She yowls in dismay.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this!” Flamilton says evilly, starting to walk enthusiastically to the peasant who has chosen wrong and will pay (/lhj 😛 ) before faceplanting 4 feet away.
Pumpkinpaw cackles evily and starts speaking in a dark voice. “You will lose every single one, one by one, until everyone deems catnip as superior and it rules the Hazelpage!“
“NOT AS LONG AS FLAM, SQUIRT, FOMAY, AND I LIVE, PUMPKINPAW!” screams Lionpaw. She couldn’t believe that just a few pages ago she’d almost joined the catnip side, before she’d discovered the amazing-ness that is Hazbin Hotel.
Fallowpaw, what is your purrsona? I’m asking because I’m making an art piece of all the people on the Three Cabelleros side! And some blogclanners can join last minute. Anyone?…Anyone? Well, just reply to this comment if you want to be in the drawing! And make sure to include what your purrsona is!
Purrsona: Golden-colored she-cat with amber eyes (P.S. Can I have a Three Cabelleros themed accesoire?)
Sure! Thanks for giving me your purrsona! And of course you can have a Three Cabelleros accessory!
*Just here*
* Walks in* “ Ahhhhhhh! What is happening? And why are there catnip everywhere?”
“Do you want to come to my safe haven? There are many different activities and games and books! We also have bluey plushies! Best of all, all are welcome!” Vix slides over to silky and says. “We keep all peeps not ready for choosing sides! We also are allies of every side, so no one can attack.” She says enthusiastically.
“Definitely! “She mews quickly, ” Anything to get away from this chaos. ” * looks around nervously before following Vixen.*
“Cause their can be.” says Creams as she put sunglasses and scoots away 😛
“Pffft, what do you mean, ‘what is happening’? The Hazelpage is ALWAYS like this!” Ammie says, grinning while pointing their squirt gun at Silky. “Hello, how are you on this fine day?”
*stares at her with a concerned look*
Pumpkinpaw throws catnip at random people before noticing Silverpaw. She then drags a huge pile of catnip and her special cookies that prevent stress and give better scores on tests, along with her contract. “Hello, my fellow feline! Would you like to join our side for free catinp and these cookies that prevent stress and give better scores on tests?”
“CREAMYPAW SPAWNS* “I HAVE A BOMB! AND… umm.. IT’S A VERY BIG BOMB! THAT CAN DESTROY THE WHOLE BLOG! AND DON’T TRY TAKING IT AWAY FROM ME CAUSE I GLUED IT TO MY HANd!! very smart me >:D” Says Creams
Flamilton smiles. “Don’t worry! If I wanted the bomb, I would’ve simply gotten a free hand with it 😊”
“In true Alastor fashion.” Lionpaw salutes at Flam approvingly, respect for Alastor in her gaze.
Koi looks at Creamos as she spawns in front of them. “Naurrr, please no explosion me :< I have COOKIES :<<"
Twisted gapes. “UMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmm….”
“Yo, wassup dawg,” she says, for a split-howl talking on a cringe slang. Then she notices the bomb.
She lifts her head and howls. “RUN FOR YA LIFE!” She bays.
“someone can just, yk, supersonic-speed-unglue it from your hand with a time traveling machine orrrrrr they could just do it the easy way- with olive oil :3 no, don’t look at me like that. I’m just stating a fact. I would DEFINITELY never do that :p” Silverpaw said, appearing on the scene casually.
“Oh no! Please don’t commit please don’t commit violent bombing and terrorism!” Blazey shouts, quickly shimmying away and out of harm’s way. “Not near me, at least.”
*Gasp* is this Blazey? :O
‘Tis I! My journey has been hard and treacherous but at long last the school year has ended and I can come back to the Blog,
YAY!!!
“USE IT ON THE OTHER SIDESS!” Pumpkinpaw yowls as she throws her destructive catnip at the Triple-H base. “WE SHALL RULE THE HAZELPAGE AT LAST!!”
“Cherri Bomb?” Lionpaw perks her ears in Creams’ direction. She casually spawns NPC Cherri and Angel to tag-team the TADC side. “ATTACK!” she screams, grabbing a glitter bomb.
I finished the Cabelleros drawing, Fallowpaw! Here’s the link:
https://justpaste.it/auyq2
I hope you like it!
Yeets lettuce passionately
Ammie eats the lettuce passionately.
>:0
Yeets catnip passionately and blows up the Triple-H’s base >:)
“N’yeah…no,” Lionpaw smirks. “Alastor cast a force field and uh…ya plan failed.” she makes a point of looking at her claws, uninterested.
Creamos trows the bomb, but it doesn’t come off. “GOOD THING I HAVE AN UNGLUINATIOR” she applies some and throws the bomb to the H’s side.
“DESTRUCTION!!” She notes down the date this happened “May 16 2024, bomb was thrown and probably destroyed the whole blog”
Koi dances in one spot. “I CALL UPON THEE TWOLEGS AND WARMYS, NOFURS AND HUMANS, WOLFKIND AND CATKIND ALIKE TO HELP MEE FLIP DA PAAAAAAAAGEE!!!”
They keep jumping around in one spot until electricity appears and electrocutes the entire Hazelpage, freezing it in place as Koi attempts a page flip.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOPEFULLY SOMEONE ELSE’S UNMODDED COMMENT IS THERE TO PUSH ME ONTO THE NEXT PAAAAGE,” Koi yells as they are frozen midair.
“I GOT YOU!” Lionpaw yowls, having about 10 other Hazelpage comments unmodded.