The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Flamilton materializes in the common room (yes, we doin’ Harry Potter now >:D) of the H-Tower. “FRIENDS! I HAVE FOUND THE ULTIMATE MAGICTASTICAL THINGAMAWHATSIT TO DESTROY THE OTHER TEAMS!” Flamilton brandishes a beautiful YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Hvr7idHzGUw?feature=share “THEY LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS BETA! I’M NOT BETA!” they grin, quoting the beautyiferous video. “And the best part? ThERe’S mOrE oF tHEsE!” Flamilton begins cackling evilly. “The other sides won’t know what hit them!”
EDIT: flIp oF tHE pAGe?! :000
Silvs raised one eyebrow skeptically. “Really? I have a feeling in my gut that that is a rickroll- nope, not falling for that.”
(if that isn’t a rickroll, well, it can’t kill me to be cautious.) /lh
“IT’S NOT A RICKROLL, YOU BETA” /ref Lionpaw laughs. “ALEXANDER FLAMILTON…WE ARE ALL MEWING FOR YOU!!!!!”
Silvs facepalms. “Me who actually doesn’t use middle school slang and stuff like that-“
Flamilton eyes Silvy even more skeptically. “wELL MY DEAR, (/ref) the better question is WhY yOu’RE iN tHE H-TOWeR?” Flamilton grins evilly, knowing they’ve exposed the catnip spy, and continues vibing to Mewing Master, Sir.
Silvsy yeets a catnip confetti smoke bomb to the ground and skillfully vanishes unseen.
Yass harry potter
Foampaw dramatically spits out her tea, which you hurl in the sea when you see me go by /ref
“THIS IS GENIUS!” She yowled. “THE OTHER ARMIES ARE DOOMED!”
Sharkpaw twisted her neck all the way around, “HAMILTON LOVER?” She grinned grimly.
“Ooh, is that an inderiect Alastor reference? JOIN THE H’s!!!”
Time to bring some Owl House lore into the Hazelpage >:3“I’m taking an executive decision for the Triple H’s and we are going to brand you with sigils so you can’t join another side or worship *cough cough catnip* other sides, it won’t hurt, and especially not if you’re dedicated!” She casually presses the Triple H sigil into her wrist. “Also, it’s a painless tattoo!”“…as someone who also watched TOH, I’m not too sure about this..” said Robo as she walked over.
“It’s just an illusion,” she whispers. “But the other sides don’t know that!”
“Oh really,” Twisted growls, because she has finished her meditation and had been quietly listening. In a sudden and dramatic movement she leaps forward and tries to rip the sigil away!!!
*the sigil poofs away, proving it’s an illusion* “Thanks a bunch, Twisted!” Lionpaw mutters. What, you think I’m as bad as Graye?” she huffs.
Flamilton gasps for a full minute. “TREASON! TREASON! TRAITOROUS!!!!” Flamilton yells, running around and screaming.
naurr you have to wait till my comment gets modded ;-;
Robo grabbed the gummy-bear gun and started firing it at Twisted.
Twisted ducks and backs away. “NEVER CHALLENGE ME!” She bark-howls.
Silvie walks in and is confused but quickly realised what’s been happening. she rushes towards Twisted to help her.
“Silive!” Twisted gasps in relief. She wags her tail.
Magnolia races to help Twisted and Silvie, yeeting enemies into the sky /lhj
“Ha!” Flamilton grins. “I know absolutely no boundaries :DD”
Pumpkinpaw, who used to be obsessed with TOH, is happy that Liomadison doesn’t understand sigils. “Hehehe, they’re killing of their own army! Catnip will surely win!”
Lionpaw glances at Pumpkinpaw. “It’s not like anyone’s gonna do the Draining Spell,” she mews, also actually mewing 🤫🧏
Pumpkinpaw starts evily cackling. “Well, now someone’s doing the Draining Spell!” She forcibly gathers everyone as she starts doing the Draining Spell >:D
“SEE? I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN!” Lionpaw screams, albeit smugly. All the sigils and the branding glove thingy poof away, BECAUSE ITS AN ILLUSION
Pumpkinpaw quickly grabs Lionpaw’s arm and takes a REAL branding glove thingy and a REAL sigil is on Lionpaw’s hand. “HAH!” She screams triumphantly. “Now I’m going to find the rest of the Triple-H’s and brand them all with sigils! CATNIP WILL WIN THIS WAR AT LASTTT!”
“NAURRRRRR!” yowls Lionpaw.
Robo sees it happen and immediately starts firing her gummy-bear gun at Pumpkinpaw.
Pumpkinpaw skillfully dodges the gummy bears and combines some with her destructive catnip to make the ULTIMATE EXPLOSION. As everyone is panicking as buildings fall down, she brands Robo with a sigil, then runs away to find more Triple-H members as she cackles evily
(Me showing y’all some of my writing skills :3)
Silvs gets yeeted out the door of the Hazelpage by Magnolia (my wolf OC btw).
Magnolia trots to the other wolf, Twisted. “Hi, my fellow wolf! also WHAT IN THE STARS IS GOING ON HERE?!?” Magnolia yelps as she gets hit in the face with a Hamilton poster. “OH, YOU’LL REGRET THAT!!!” Magnolia barks as she runs to find the culprit.
Silvs inches back into the Hazelpage, trying not to be spotted as she holds a bucket of catnip at the ready to dump on any attackers.
Magnolia then gets bombarded with a cascade of Hamilton and Hasbin Hotel souvenirs from the Triple-H base.
“I don’t know what’s going on!” Twisted yelps as she dodges another Hamilton poster.
Magnolia dodges some crayons which have been added into the deluge of hamilton and hasbin hotel stuff and skillfully jumps over a bomb that is yeeted at her.
Silvs dumps a bucket of catnip on Magnolia’s head and Magnolia shakes herself. “What’s this…? Ew- YOU GUYS EAT THIS??? No wonder y’all are crazy-” before the catnip starts working on Magnolia. “OoOoOoOoO…” Magnolia plops down sniffing it. “wait WHAT AM I DOING? help- I’M A WOLF!!! CATNIP CAN’T WORK ON WOLVES- can it?” Magnolia adds as she sees Twisted munching on catnip cookies then going nuts.
“…nevermind.” Magnolia tries to leave the Hazelpage but gets dragged back by Silvs. “Oh no, YOU’RE NOT LEAVING ME TO DEAL WITH CHAOS MYSELF.” Magnolia gives up on trying to get free.
“AHEM. HAZBIN IS SPELLED WITH A Z!” Flamilton huffs angrily and yeets another Hamilposter at the Hamilton Hater >:(( /lhj
Magnolia skillfully dodges. “I’m rubber and you’re glue! Whatever you do bounces off me and sticks to you!” /lhj
“Nuh-uh!” Flamilton argues. “I’M the Magictastical Backflipping Rubber Duck–that spits fire!”
Magnolia leaps over Flam, using her secret levitation powers to yeet flam into the sun. “byee, CYA ON THE FLIP SIDE!” /lhj
Flamilton appears behind Silvie, their magictastical Hamilton coat slightly smoldering. “I wouldn’t try that if I were you!”
Silvs yeets her wolf OC out of the hazelpage then picks up a catnip water balloon blaster and totally drenches flam.
“oof, bye magnolia….” silvie waves goodbye and is hit in the head with another Hamioton poster. “im really torn about this battle now…”
“wow. I don’t know which side I’m on” says Silvie a bit confused at everything happening before her. “I want to be on the wolf side but I also want to be on the Hamilton side!’ she looks around “ahhhhhhh!”
Flamilton, watching from the H Tower, realizes the opportunity and teleports through the shadows, materializing right behind Painted. “Well then you’re in the place to be!” /ref Flamilton grins and brandishes a shiny-looking contract. “Just sign here to join! However, it may or may not cost your soul :D”
Magnolia grabs Silvie by the tail and drags her away. “NUH-UH, you’re gonna stay with me, Ravage, and Twisted oh my gosh!!!!”
Creamos trows a bomb, that lands in the middle of the H’s meeting.
“TAKE TAKE THAT HAMITLTION (How ever it’s spelled) LOSERS!”/lhj. Screams Creamos
it’s called hamltlton /lhj
Unfortunately for Creamos, the word ‘loser’ has absolutely no effect on the Hazbins. Lionpaw begins to sing Loser, Baby because irl she has a really good Husk impression. “So things look bad and your back’s against a wall; your whole existence seems super hopeless; You’re feeling filthy as a dive-bar bathroom stall; Can’t face the world sober and dopeless; You’ve lost your way, ya think your life is wrecked; Well let me just say you’re…CORRECT! (Wait what?) You’re a…loser, baby; A loser, starclan baby, you’re a…take it away Hazbins!”
Flucifer appears next to Liomadison, wearing Lucifer’s magictastical hat. “Messed up little whiny goblin! (Hey!) You’re a loser, just like me! (Thanks goblin!) You’re a screws-loose loser, an only one-star reviews-er!”
“YOU’RE A POWER-BOTTOM, AT ROCK BOTTOM! BUT YOU’VE GOT COMPANY!” Foampaw continues the chain, belting at the top of her lungs like the ultimate huskerdust/husk in general fan she is.
“WE’RE BOTH LOSERS, BABY!” (/ref) Flamilton yells angrily. “AND IT’S HAMILTON, ALTHOUGH I’M NOT SURPRISED SOMEONE ON THE TADC SIDE MISSPELLED IT!” /lhj /nsrs
“Did you just-”
Frogpaw goes into alpha mode, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Her army of frogs attack, “NO ONE MAKES FUN OF HAMILTON!”
We all seem to be bringing other fandoms lore to the hazel page, sooooo
Thorni gazed out the window of the abandoned Justice Building. Its walls were lined with crayons and bundles of cos and iceberg lettuce. Finchpaw scanned the ground, looking for Darth Fallow. A scheme is overdue.
Twisted looks at Finchpaw. “Uhhhhhh… what side are you on again?” she asks.
Flamilton stares at Finchy awkwardly and begins coughing loudly to cover up the awkwardness, but then ends up choking on air. “Yeah… I’m with Twisted, what fandom is that? You’re on Team
LoserCatnip, right?”Foampaw whispers “you’re all losers, baby” under her breath, even though that joke has already been used.
Ammie calmly places down her hot cocoa and grabs a hat and a Nerf gun. “I wonder when these alleged ‘wars’ will cool down.”
“Probably never.”
She glances off to the side, where insane cats are screaming at the top of their lungs for no reason, before turning Hamilton on the TV and putting catnip in her hot cocoa.
“Ooo! Can I watch too?” Foampaw mewed, already setting down the 2 tubs of mint chocolate chip ice cream she brought with her.
Silky takes some catnip gummy bears and shoots them at the Triple-H’s, ” Catnip will win the war! Muahhahahahaha!!!”
Lionpaw poofs into existence beside Silverpaw. “Nuh UH! We will fight the fight and win the war!” /ref
Flamilton snaps their fingers, and the tainted gummy bears turn into magictastical backflipping rubber ducks and fall to the ground harmlessly (at least, harmless to the H’s…). “You’ll have to try harder than that!”
more new fandom lore! (piarates of the carribean!)
silvie looks around the deserted island “what am I going to do now?” she asks herself and sees a ship off in the distance. the ship comes closer and closer before a small rowboat comes to the shore. out steps….
Flamilton watches this scene play out with their binoculars, all from the comfort of the H Tower. “SOMEONE GET MY POPCORN!” Flucifer yells excitedly, hoping some drama happens.
Kli throws popcorn at Flam, then runs away.
hey guys!! I’m working on a special little something for this page that I’m really excited for :DD but before I get that kicked off, I just wanna remind y’all to please keep the violence and mature topics toned down while we’re in here <33 I know you guys are just having fun, but let's not get too crazy!! ily all :))
Haha I can’t wait for the addition to the hazelpage! Wait oh no IS IT GIANT ROBOT CHINCHILLA ARMIES??????!?!?! /lhj
I mean that can definitely happen 😛
xD GIANT ROBOT CHINCHILLA ARMIES LOL
Sounds splendiferous! >:D
Why did you put oh no? A giant robot chinchilla army would be splendid, and would end the war! The most superior side would win! /lh
I can imagine Alastor saying this for some reason 😛
What do you mean with violence?
stuff like detailed depictions of drowning, bombs/blowing people up, etc; generally I’d like to discourage writing about brutally killing/injuring each other 😭
And is it ok if you comment something like: ‘*throws insert person in a volcano*🤣🤣🤣’ Like, if it’s obviously a joke and it isn’t detailed?
I think that’s fine lol
Ooo that sound exciting!! Does it have anything to do with the BlogFic in the discord?
oh naw the blogfic’s a separate personal project!!! the revamp will be different >:DD
Oh ok!! I can’t wait aahhh! :DD
the hype is unreal
🕺🕺🕺🕺
:00 Hi Livvv
YAHOO new thing!! :00
okay :DD no violence *proceeds to drop Clancymeal on Liv’s doorstep*
oh no are you going to turn the page into Sol’s, just like the tenth Tavern?! 😨 /lh /hj
YAYY FOOD
👀
umm, hi, I haven’t been here for a while, can you guys give me a summary of what’s happened/happening? *bribes with cookie 🍪*
Flucifer snatches the cookie at the speed of light and gobbles it up. “Weeeeeelllllllllllllll,” Flamilton says, matter-of-factly, pulling out a map of the Hazelpage and one of those pointy stick pointer things that teachers in the old movies use, “Currently, the Triple-H’s are being bombarded on all sides by Catnip on the east, TADC on the south, and Misc. on the north, with Crayons fighting TADC over there-” they point to a spot on the map- “However us H’s have been pelting them with Hamilposters and Husker plushies, so TADC has been backing away! They just can’t comprehend good music,” Flucifer scoffs before continuing, “I believe the Crayons are still worshipping the Grilled Burnt Sienna Crayon, and have been hurling them repeatedly at TADC as well, aaaand we’ve been blasting Loser, Baby repeatedly at Catnip, so sometime soon they should get tired of that and leave for a little bit!” Flamilton finishes, panting. “However, I don’t know how you can get tired of Loser, Baby! I’ve been listening to it on loop for the past hour :D”
okkkkkkkkkkkkk thanks! I am proud to say I understood half of that >:3
“Magictastical!” Flamilton smiles. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a bone to pick with TADC, so toodles!” Flucifer skips away, throwing magictastical backflipping rubber ducks at whoever crosses their path.
“I have to admit though, Digital Hallucination is fire; but NOT as fire as the entirety of the Hellaverse and Hamilton!” she mews, directed at Creamos, showing her that any H is better than TADC. “AND JAX IS OVERATTED!” she screams.
“Nothing can beat the Hamilverse OR Hellaverse!” Flamilton agrees happily.
“Girl, the Hamilverse is HISTORY; literally.”
She mews like a knowitall. (btw I’m not misgendering u it’s how i talk)
“That’s what makes it so splendiferous!” Flamilton grins, ignoring the fact that at least 32 people are staring at her strangely.
(Oh, dw! I’m totally okay with any pronouns, so you can’t really ‘misgender’ me haha! <3)
Kli walks over nervously. “Uh, so, what in StarClan are those?”
“Actually, according to the brain’s physiological functioning, it is quite literally impossible to get tired of Loser, Baby! It’s such a banger, nobody can hate it!” Foampaw adds, purring to the song blasting in the background.
(Just to be sure, don’t take this seriously- this is just a joke, I’m not a rocket scientist haha)
“I agree! Look, the math says it all!” Flamilton holds up a piece of paper with the word “MATH” written in red ink and underlined.
Koi explodes into existence and nods. “I must agree, I spoke with Math earlier today and it quiet literally said ‘it all! ir all!’ but then added ‘Loser, Baby is impossible to not get tired of! it all! it all!'” They take a bite of their Clancymeal :3 “It got tiring after a while but it speaks the truth!”
They bow and backflip into the chaos.
“wait, who’s on what side?” asked Silvie/painted, “how does we even remember?”
“Why, it’s quite simple, my friend!” chuckles Alasquirt, pulling on a business suit. “You just know! I only have two and a half brain cells, so it should be easy! I’m on the Triple H side, obviously, because the most superior side is the.. most superior side!” They run off cackling for no reason to go bombard the catnip base with their SquirtlegunbreezeCANNONS.
I know that some of these cats are definitely on some sides :p
TADC side: Creamos/Caine (TADC side is allied with Catnip side)
Catnip side: Pumpkinpaw/dawn, me (Silverpaw/storm but my other alias is on the wolf side hehe) and Twisted
Triple-H side: Flamepaw/spirit, Squirtblaze, Robo (I think???), Frogpaw/Froggo (IDKKKK)
Star Wars side: Fallowpaw/Darth Fallow
Three Caballeros side: Rosepaw/heart, Fallowpaw/Darth Fallow
Wolf side: Ravage, Twisted, me (as Magnolia), and MAYBE you if you’ll join?
yes I’m on wolf side!
I am on the wolf side fur sure!
I am DEFINITELY on the Triple-H side!!!
As crayon leader I am on the crayon and since triple-h us teamed up with crayons then I am also on the triple-h side
*ahems*
“Aw you forgot me! Oh well!” Foampaw mewed. “Makes since I’ve been gone for a while, I’m on the triple H side! :’D”
omg I can’t believe I forgot you lol
That’s fine, like I said I’m not as active on here as of recently 🙂
“7 year absence, to be exact.” mews Lionpaw.
WAIT CAN I JOIN THE WOLF SIDE???? Lemme just make a wolf OC real quick XD
go to ravage’s wolfclan here to join!!! you’ll have to ask her :p https://blogclan.katecary.co.uk/wolfclan/
wait aren’t I on the catnip side?
i’m on the h-side btw just so you know >:D
HAMILTON FOR LIFE!!! (in my opinion)
Caine appers with the bazuka thing Jax had in ep 2, nd starts shooting it everwhere “MWHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHA”
*that weird fudge monster guy comes up and swallows Caine*
Caine spawns outside of the monster and gasps ” *gasp* you actully WATCHED the anazing digital ciecus to know who the fudge monster is Loinpaw??????? ” she dances cause why not, and she pues airpods and listens to Best in show (another Jax song)
“YAS I HAVE BUT HAZBIN/HAMILTON IS WAY BETTER!”
Koi runs away before Creamos begins blasting that Jax song, playing Twenty One Pilots at full volume and drowning in Clancymeals /lhj
guys imma be taking a blogbreak on weekdays >:3 cya all when I get all my exams finished!!
good luck on your exams!!
See you, and good luck on those exams!
actually scratch that I CANNOT BEAR TO BE WITHOUT BLOGCLAN FOR A DAY /lhj
LOLLL
SO REAL