The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Alasquirt is mapping out a battle plan
to rickroll all the other sideswhen they suddenly shriek out in pain. They clutch their foot, screaming in agony. “My foot! My foot! MY FOOT!”“IT’S FALLEN ASLEEP! HELP!” They shout, falling off their chair and the battle plan sliding off the giant table. “What do I do?! I can’t feel it!” Alasquirt desperately looks around for assistance, still screaming and clutching their foot.
(Seriously, my foot fell asleep 😭) edit: page flip? WILL MY FOOT’S PRAYERS BE ANSWERED?!
Flucifer jumps up from a nearby couch in the Triple-H Tower, where they most definitely were paying attention to Squrr’s battle plans and not just watching Hamilton. “DON’T WORRY, WE CAN STILL SAVE IT!!!!!!” they yell, madly shaking Alasquirt’s foot. “DON’T GO TOWARD THE LIGHT!!!!!!” Flamilton sobs madly.
The very inexperienced doctor Lio turned around so she coud have deniability. /ref
(FIVE, DUEL BEFORE THE SUN IS IN THE SKY PICK A PLACE TO DIE WHERE IT’S HIGH AND DRY /REF)
NUMBER 6 LEAVE A NOTE FOR YER NEXT OF KIN, TELL EM WHERE YOU BEEN
NUMBER 7, CONFESS YOUR SINS, READY FOR THE MOMENT OF ADRENALINE WHEN YOU FINALLY FACE YOUR OPPONENT /REF
8, YOUR LAST CHANCE TO NEGOTIATE, SEND IN YOUR SECONDS SEE IF THEY CAN SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT (Help i forgot to type the hell pr heaven part in my last comment ;-;)
NUMBER NINE, LOOK ‘EM IN THE EYE, AIM NO HIGHER, SUMMON ALL THE COURAGE YOU REQUIRE, THEN COUNT!-
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, NUMBER TEN PACES, FIRE! /ref
Flamilton gasps. “I didn’t know you were a doctor, Lio!”
Squrr keeps screaming, mostly because they have no idea what they’re doing, or what anyone else is doing. Their foot continues to tingle in that horrible way it tingles.
relatable, I just realized MY own foot was asleep while reading this 😛
😛
“Guys I haven’t been in here since April… WHAT IN STARCLAN HAPPENED!? When I started my unannounced break I think crayons were popular… but now there are SIDES? I em so confused…” Aspie shouts as she walks into the chaos of the Hazelpage. She tosses a banana into the chaos. Because what could go wrong with a banana?
“PAGE FLIPPPPPP”
“Welcome back to the Hazelpage, good fellow!” King Foamy told the confused feline. “A little bit after you left, myself and Creamypaw started an all out war! The two original sides were TADC and Triple H (Hazbin Hotel and Hamilton), but the war has branched out with other sides from the beloved Crayon side to the newly formed Fry+Tajin side!”
Flamilton appears out of the shadows to steal the bananananana. “WELL HELLO THERE MY FRIEND!” Flamilton grins maniacally. “As you’re getting back to being used to the chaos, would you care to join the Triple-H Army? We have Hamilton sing-alongs, Husk plushies, aND cookies!”
“Hi there! Would you like to join the catnip army?” Silvs mews excitedly. “We have catnip cookies that make you smarter, catnip gummy bears, and more! Would you also like to join te wolf side?”
“Oh and forgot the cheese lovers side!” Silver bounces.
“Yes, Catnip and cheese!” Ivo yells, jumping off her cheese mountain
Ivo appears from behind her mountain of cheese “dear Fallows! Come here! I have some very special cheese made of fries for you. It totally isn’t just cheese with fries😁” she grinned innocently
Flamilton pulls out his state-of-the-art Hand Binoculars. “Oh, this will be fun…” /ref he grins, excited to watch this chaos unfold.
Silvs spots Flam and hears them from like 100 feet away. “Real,” she whispers in a loudspeaker as she watches the chaos.
“Darth Fallow can not be late again” Ivo stared around “guess I’ll have to remind 🍟 with a little cheese!🧀”
‘NOOOOO, WHY U RUINING DA PERFECT FRIESSSSSS??????’, Darth Fallowfrie yells desperately.
“BECUASE IT’S CHEESE DNSHEIUDIJDEKJENDIJDEN” Cheeso snapped
Cori walks in and looks around. They notice the chaos and immediently decides to try and become part of it. She looks around once more and then looks around for someone to ask about the recently added kookies on the menu…
“HIYA CORZIP!” Flamilton appears out of thin air to greet their fellow Hamilsquad member. Leaning down, they whisper, “now make sure to steer clear of the catnip and TADC armies! They have personal stuff against us :D” before yeeting a Husk plushie at the nearest member of the Cheese Army.
Haven’t been on here in a while, is Darth Fallow on top yet?
NAUR THE H’S WILL FOREVER REIGN SUPREME DD:< /lh
“Supreme is such a silly word.” King Foampaw mentioned before saying the word “supreme” slowly, multiple times. By this point it was just ear torture for anyone around them.
I like fries AND cheese.
TEAM LOADED FRIES, ASSEMBLE!
I like fries and ketchup
and fries and ice cream
fight me /lhj
for a sec I read “fight me” as “bite me” and I thought you were making an Uzi ref 😛 (uzi is a character from muderder drones)
Just gotta pop in her like the English nerd that I am and say that “Bite me” was around before Uzi aha 😛 /nm
smarty-shoes /lh
MURDER DRONES MENTIONED :DDDDDD (huge murder drones nerd here lol)
I’m not a nerd about it but it’s cool >:3
V IS SUPREME
Yes she is!! She’s my favorite character <3
YAS
nahhh, I actually haven’t seen Murder Drones, although I’m intrigued by it!! (also one of my irl friends also calls ‘murder’ ‘muderder’ lol 😛 )
Tbh fries are only good when they’re warm :(((
‘YES BUT CHEESE IS NEVER GOOD’, Darth Fallowfrie screams and she tosses some frozen fries at Silvsto. ‘TAKE THAT!!!’😛
:0 HOW DARE U
“CMERE FALLOWS!” Ivo shrieks, grabbing a random piece of salami and throwing it at Fallows “TAKE THAT!”
‘Okay, I like salami, it’s not cheese’, Darth Fallowfrie meows unimpressed while eating it.
“If you think regular cheese is bad, vegan cheese is AWFUL. *note: it’s actually really disgusting.”
HOW DARE YOU???????? DO YOU LIKE ICE CREAM?? HUH??? IT’S MADE OF THE SAME THING THAT CHEESE IS MADE OF, MILK. /lhj /nsrs
‘HOW DARE U ASSUME I HAVE SUCH HORRENDOUS OPINIONS????!!!!!!’
“HOW DARE YOU HATE CHEESE????????????? HAVE YOU EVER EATEN CHEESE BEFORE?????”
‘YES I HAVE, IT WAS TERRIBLE!!!’
“oh- what kind of cheese was it?” Silvs asked, curious.
*if you say blue cheese I am probably going to puke /lhj
IDK, NO ONE TOLD ME WHAT KIND IT WAS!!!
Firez stomps into the room and takes some cheese from her secret stash and flings it at Darth Fallowfrie. “TAKE THAT FRIES!” she screams maniacally.
Yes FRIES AND ICE CREAM AMAZING
I had some fries at Chick Fil A about an hour ago
They were undercooked >:(
Underbaked?
THEY DIDN’T TASTE LIKE FRIES SO I’M MAD >:(
THE SAME THING LITERALLY HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY A FEW WEEKS AGO-
I WAS ENRAGED >:(
it was waffle fries
would you like to join the cheese side?
HA! No :)) /ref /lh
Loyalty to the Triple-H’s for ALL OF ETERNITY >:DD
I AGREE VERY MUCH WITH THAT STATEMENT MY DEAR ALASQUIRT
FOR SHAME D:< /ref
FOR SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME /ref
(HEED NOT THE RABBLE WHO SCREAM REVOLUTION THEY HAVE NOT YOUR INTERESTS AT HEART /REF)
CHAOS AND BLOODSHED ARE NOT A SOLUTION /ref (even though chaos and bloodshed are most definitely a solution let’s be honest 😌)
THAT HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY BUT THEY WERE OVERCOOKED
Wait do loaded fries exist in other countries :0?
Silvs does an epic catapault into the hazelpage grinning like she is insane (maybe because she is /lhj) “I exist”
then she throws catnip gummy bears and goodies, and mozzarella cheese everywhere. “AHAHAHHHAHAAHAAHAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA sorry I am insane.”
She then sings chipi chipi chapa chapa at the top of her longs. “CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA DUBI DUBI MAGICO MI BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA DUBI DUBI DABA DABA…..”
I think I need to start reading the text I type on my mom’s phone before sending them because cookies autocorrected to goodies……….
WHA-
“I APPROVE” Ivo yells, chucking Silvs some cheese while singing “HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY”
Lol
Flamilton casually hides behind a very large Hamilton poster. If there’s anything they hate more than the Catnip Army, it’s Catnip and the Cheese Army working together.
and cheese army is working with part of Triple-h so RIP /lhj
Jeffireson walks into the room. “Why, if it isn’t my second comment on the Hazelpage!” she announces. She takes a good look at the chaos, greets people, and hums songs from Hamilton until they are all stuck in her head for eternity.
Silvs flings cheese and catnip gummy bears and cookies at Fi. “FRIES SHALL NEVER REIGN SUPREME EHEHEHHEEHEHEHEHEEHEHEEHEHEHHE”
“CHEESE IS SUPERIOR TO FRIES! CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!” Fi screams. She flings cheese at all cheese-haters. “TAKE THAT FRIES!” Fi screams while eating Silvs’s cheese and catnip gummy bears and cookies.
*note: Catnip side and Triple-h are mortal enemies ehehehehehehheehe but maybe that will change due to the cheese and fries war….
NEVER D:<<
I second what flam said YOU ARE OUR SWORN ENEMIES
>:(
k imma make y’all even more my enemies
*deep breath*
MLP AND TADC ARE BETTER THAN HAMILTON (even tho I’ve never watched hamilton :P)
Idk what the flippity flip tadc is but GO MLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TADC is the amazing digital circus! (I haven’t watched it but Digital Hallucination is really good!)
and YAS finally SOMETHING WE AGREE ON!!!
LIES
DISGRACE
FOR SHAAAAMEEE /ref
DDD:<<<<<<
NEVER NEVER NEVER HAMILTON SLAYS!
“Why hello there, my friend! Want a free squirt gun?” Alasquirt Squrr runs into the scene, smiling brightly to greet Jeffireson.
Silvs yeets cheese sticks at Squirt “HERE TAKE THE CHEESE FOR FREE!!!”
“Sure!” Jeffireson said. She snatches the squirt gun from Alasquirt. “TAKE THIS, CHEESE-HATERS!” she yells, and squirts the squirt gun at all the cheese-haters.
“Mister Jeffireson, welcome hoOoOme!” /ref Flamilton grins, handing Fi a bucket of water balloons. “Use them wisely, my friend,” they caution, nodding solemnly before yeeting one of their own water balloons at the nearest Catnip Army member.
That water balloon hit Silverpaw and she turned around slowly. “WHO THREW THAT?!?!??!?!?” /ref (from a fanfic I wrote a long time ago xD) She held a large bucket of catnip water balloons. “I HAVE SOME CATNIP WATER BALLOONS AND I AIN’T AFRAID TO USE THEM!” /lhj
Flamilton makes awkward eye contact with Silvy for approximately 30 seconds before speedily pointing at Fallow. “FALLOW DID IT!”
Pumpkinpaw runs across the entire Hazelpage throwing catnip confetti. “WEEE TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! WITH THIS NEW KNOWLEDGE I HAVE OF BEING A YEAR OLDER, CATNIP SHALL WIN THIS WARRRRR!”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” Icemeadow shouts excitedly. “We’re unstoppable now!”
HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY!!! CATNIP HAS ALL THE POWER- WE ARE ALLIED WITH TADC SIDE, WOLFCLAN SIDE, AND CHEESE SIDE!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUMKINPAW!!!!!
my birthday is also in EIGHT DAYS!!!!!!
Flamilton promptly drops a Hazbin cake cutely on Pumpkinpaw. “Oh, how silly of you to think!” they chide. “After all, us Triple-H’s shall fight the fight and win the war!”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUMPKINPAW!” Jeffireson shouts. “CATNIP WILL WINNNNNNN!”
(what is triple-h?)
(The Almighty Triple-H Army is a combination of Hazbin Hotel and Hamilton and is one of the armies in the war!!! and, might I add, the best one >:DD)
Darth Fallowfrie yeets a pot of hot tajin at the cheese side and then yells: ‘FRIES ARE SUPREME!!!’
the word supreme is overrated
NO, IT’S NOT!!!
Twisted catches the fries in her maw and yeets cheese back (cause I think the wolf side is allied with the cheese side or smth)
(Nope, no alliances here, just pick ur fav from the two)
actually I believe we do have alliances!! iirc, Catnip and TADC are allied and the Almighty Triple-H’s and Crayons are allied :DD
cheese side is partly allied with catnip because Cheesekit/heart is part of catnip army I think- but you can just choose which one you like best xD
:0 I’m the leader of the cheese side then? 😏
yes
you have to be
I think we shouldn’t do alliances, we can just be on multiple sides without forming alliances cue I don’t really like that
TADC side is allied with catnip though 😛
Can we please not do alliances? They make the war less fun
as you wish, but only for the cheese and frias war for now because that’s the main one
*yeets cheese sticks at Fallowpaw* LET THE WAR BEGINNNNNNNNNNNNNN
“Have to disagree with you there!” /ref Flamilton calls from the Triple-H Tower. “‘Supreme’ is literally in Triple-H’s! Most definitely!” they grin.
Foampaw was reading back on the HazelPages for any weak points of the other armies, and saw the Wolves bringing some of their friends into the mix.
“Hmm.. I wonder if I could bring some of my buddies in here…” she
🤫🧏mewed deviously in a corner, drinking a vanilla milkshake with sprinkled butterfingers on top.(But seriously, is it allowed to bring in fictional characters? :0)
THIS JUST IN:
or maybe its just me who only now realized thisHazel Burrow is a canon character whom I totally forgot about…
Silvs kicks down the door of the Hazelpage, a bucket of catnip bater balloons and a cheese stick blaster gripped in her paws. “I’M BAAAAAAAAACK!!” she yowls. “And with POWER BECAUSE MY ALL TIME FAVE K-POP GROUP 2NE1 HAS MADE A COMEBACK!!!” She held up a 2NE1 lightstick and a Blackjack pin.
Darth Fallowfrie immediately yeets a whole pile of fries at Silvsto and then aggrissively starts cooking more so she can eat them😛