The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Wren caught the potatobrine and ate it. “Thanks, I was hungry for potatobrine.”
*tears you open and takes potatobrine from your stomach and licks him and no I’m not okay my life is falling apart before my eyes bro 👊😞*
“GASP!!” Shadow gasped. “DID YOU JUST LICK MY POTATOBRINE??!!”
Inhales
🤰🤰🤰
Are you mentally ok do we need an insane asylum
👃🏻👃🏼👃🏽
Who nose 😛
“You’re welcome also I make the best potatobrines ever btw” Shadow boasted 😛
Fox Trot might have died, She was laying there, unmoving, She might be breathing
Slaps speeding ticket on Embix
Is this a biography on my one remaining brain call
Cell**
Lol
Yes.
I heckin knew it
Wren pulled her back closed and takes the potatobrine. “GIVE. ME. MY. POTATOBRINE. OR. I’LL. SLAP. YOU. WITH. A. FISH.” Wren pulled out a rainbow color-changing fish and grabbed it tightly. “This is my prized possession. I call him Slapping Fish.”
please slap me very hard with the fish
Rose grabbed her suing supplies. “WREEEEEEEEEN! That is a beautiful specimen of slapping fish, BUUUUUUUT it is eerily similar to MY slapping fish! Any comments?” She held out a pencil like a microphone.
Wren slapped rose with her fish, creating magical rainbow sparkles. “Mike’s better. Can it do this?” She threw it, and Slapping Fish started to fly. “And there’s more than one fish that can be used for slapping in this world.”
Rose gasped. “How dare you!1!!1!! FISSSSSSHIIIIIIIE!! FERNANDO!!!”
A beautiful pterodactyl crashed through the front door, carrying a fish in his mouth. He dropped it on Rose’s head.
“Thank you, Fernando,” Rose scratched his ear(?). She then proceeded to slap Wren. “ORIGINALS FOREVAAAAAAAA!”
So many typos
Rainie walks in, seeing Rose getting slapped by the fish. “Alas, the slapper has been slapped.” She proceeded sit down and ask Ember for a hot coco.
Gosh darn it, I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole.
Take me with you
We’re already here. (Alice and Wonderland reference, dude.)
Eats you
“Hmm… probably a week,” said Robin. “Honestly, all I want to do is get away from Herobrinepotato, I’m not sure if it’s good or evil.” She gave Embix (does the math: 20×7= 140) 140 bitcoins that had magically appeared in her strangely empty pink wallet.
(YEET THE WALLET BE MAAAAGICAL)
Emberdawn accepted the coins, and gave Robin a key with a room tag on it. “Your room awaits!”
“FIRST, it’s POTATOBRINE. SECOND, DID YOU JUST INSULT MY BEAUTIFUL CREATION?!” Shadow said.
Lion sat down.
Maple sat down next to Lion
“Hey there ! I’m Maple, what’s your name ?”
Fox Trot was a l i v e, she managed to not die, She now had a large purple bruise on her entire face though
“Are you alright?” Wishi asked.
“Not Really No” Fox Trot was dying inside
Raven walks in after a bad day in school, and asks for a hot cocotini.
Shadow made a mental frown. Why did everyone keep eating her Potatobrines? To protect them, she had to summon something else…
“YEET!” Shadow screamed again, but this time the stalker banana showed up. Shadow screamed with fear this time. “WHAT HAVE I DONE??!! WE MUST HIDE BEFORE THE BANANA KILLS US!!!!!” Shadow ducked under her table and hissed like a frightened cat.
Then, suddenly, her heroic Potatobrine flew up and started to fight the evil stalker banana. “No!! MY POTATOBRINE NOOOOO DON’T DIE!!!!”
Wishi untied her bandanna and threw it at the Potatobrine. It wrapped around it, and suddenly the Potatobrine emitted a golden glow. “He’s more powerful than the banana stalker now!”
Maple clambered under the table
“I am not dealing with whatever is going on here !”
Last minute, she remembered her water and quickly grabbed it off the table, taking a big drink of it after she was sure she was safe
As she walked up the stairs, Robin cheered for the banana stalker under her breath. At least it wasn’t flying and knocking people over. At that thought, she used her telekinesis to grab the Herobrinepotato and ate it because why not. She was hungry. On another thought, she ripped the stalker banana up from the floor, peeled it, and ate it. She ran up the stairs before Shadow could summon another Herobrinepotato to hunt her down.
(Welp Robin is officially the enemy of the Herobrinepotato)
(Also I’m calling it Herobrinepotato because I love the tensioooon)
(Darn I meant to put “of MoldClan”)
Shadow raced up the stairs. “YOU DARE INSULT ME AND MY POTATOBRINES? YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE DANGERS OF THE STALKER BANANA HE DTALKS AND HUNTS EVERYONE DOWN! AND DON’T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT HARMING POTATOBRINE! ALSO IT’S POTATOBRINE NOT HEROBRINEPOTATO! AND OH YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT I WILL GET YOU!” Then she stopped and remembered not to shout anything out when she read a mind. So she quickly made another Potatobrine that had steel armour to hunt her down.
Fox Trot Screamed at Robin and threw the army eggs after her
*tips fedora* m’lady
Suddenly, everyone’s favorite unicorn went into the tavern. She looked around at the chaos and weirdness, and rolled her eyes. “I hate this already.” She shot a beam of pure rainbow from her horn, silencing everyone. “Can everyone please shut up?”
(Lemonunicorn has returned.)
Emberdawn pointed at the sign of rules, which until now had generally gone unnoticed. “No hate messages in the tavern! This is a safe space in the forest of webs, so our visitors get enough negativity and struggles out there. The Hazel Tavern is a break spot, not a high school cafeteria where everyone can go ham on each other.”
She stopped for a moment. “Not that anyone has so far, but still. Rules are rules, and I will have to use the powers of moderation to keep things nice and relatively calm around here.”