The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Hazy was tempted to add his muffin buttons to the war, but now realizing that it was over, he decided to wait until the awkwardness resumed.
Hollykit watched the crazy cats. “For rainbows!” She suddenly yelled, and rainbows with Kawaii faces danced ballet around the room singing ‘Let it Go’
Fox Trot shifted back and layed face down on the floor “Truce!” She muffledly screeched
Beepaw went over to Maple and said quietly, “you ok, Maple? I know this place is insane, isn’t it?”
Hazelspots had been a common patron at the Hazelpage. She would come in for days at a time, get a frothy warm cup of rainbow-colored coffee with cream, slide an assortment of coins plucked from various pockets in her bag across the counter and go to sleep in the beds in the back. After a good night’s rest, she’d leave for the next week or so before returning. But one day, her attendance had simply…stopped. No familiar sound of pockets jingling with fifteen pairs of keys that didn’t unlock anything, no unusually deep voice calling out ‘the usual’ to the waitress at the counter before taking a seat, no girl in adventurer’s attire with her legs crossed, laughing drowsily in the corner, toasting to another night with friends…
Nobody at the Hazelpage would ever know, but she had been captured. The stirring, almost apocalyptic world outside was a place she had learned to survive in after years and years of practice, but she had been caught off guard and stolen away, whisked away far from her home, left to travel across the entirety of the internet back to where she loved. But she had broken her chains, stolen a sword and gotten back in business. Trekking through the wild wilderness of the Internet, she had finally made it back to her favorite place. She delicately placed her hand on the door, hesitating for a moment. Would anybody even remember her? Outside, she could hear people singing gently, laughing and toasting and so happy. Her heart swelled with memories as she swung open the door, her clothes much more ragged and torn than before from the attacks along the way.
“I’m back.”
“Hi! I’m Navy, welcome back! I don’t remember you but I’m sure we’ll get to know each other soon!” A girl with short, brown hair was sitting at the bar, glasses askew amongst all of the recent mischeif that would take far too long to explain. She glanced at her surroundings. “They’ve been fighting a war in here. I think they’ve truced for now, but I can’t be sure…” she shook her head as if to clear her thoughts and held out her hand. “Nice to meet you anyway!”
Wavey turned around. “Spotzel!!! Welcome back! I sent you a message a while ago, did you ever get it?”
“Yesssss there’s vegan foood!” Lion clamoured. Her eyes widened for a moment, “Gosh I’m too addicted to Pokémon, I read pinapple as pinap.”
YES POKEMON
Fox Trot stood up, she was a wreck, well, she always was a wreck, but she looked awful now
Navy sat at the library computer, at last free from the last of her science homework. She searched up Blogclan and found Robin’s link to the Hazelpage. She could almost see the door in the pixelated distance, the whirring of the computer still singing in her mind. She was so close, she could almost smell the potatoes and the stench of the slapping fish. She leaned forward and breathed in, the sharp, disgusting scent filling her nostrils. She was almost there…
“AAAAHHHH!” Navy yelled as she landed hard on a bar stool smack bang in the middle of the Hazelpage. Dusting herself off, she got up and pretended that nothing had ever happened. “So how’s life for you guys?”
Wavey snorted. “I have no idea what’s going on with the fish and potatoes, but otherwise pretty all right. You?”
“Good. My friend Violetpaw just joined the blog!” Navy bounced up and down excitedly.
Beepaw sat alone at the bar, feeling lonely. ‘I need more friends,’ she thought.
Jaydapple slipped into the seat next to her and wailed, “Beepaw, I’m LOSING MY CHARM!”
Beepaw snorted and said, “go away, Jaydapple.”
Jaydapple looked hurt, but he looked down and left.
And Beepaw was alone again.
Fox Trot had been the unlucky soul in the middle of the room, “It was decent.”
Lunaheart felt like the hazelpage needed more excitement, so she gathered everyone and made them raise their wands, and then 5 million unicorns, two billion spongebobs, and 21 beat boxes appeared. But the unicorns began poking everyone, the beat boxes played too loud music to songs. And the spongebobs….. were faultless
“You eat my potatoes, THEN DO THAT?” Shadow screeched. She was about to faint.
Robin got smacked to the wall all of a sudden when the room filled with many things of Luna’s creation. “How-much-more-excitement-can-the-Hazel-page-hold?” she squeezed out. “Some-one-help-me-”
Edit: I’M THE FIRST ON THIS NEW PAGE YEEEEET
“I… I have no idea what’s happening here. Anyone care to explain?” Ivy glanced around the hazelpage, completely bewildered.
Robin collapsed on the floor as the Spongebobs and unicorns and beatboxes disappeared. “Thank goodness for that,” she muttered. She stood up and brushed herself off, then walked over to Ivy. “The Hazelpage is basically where you can get drinks and stuff, and it’s also a place where people can roleplay literally anything, as long as it happens in the Hazelpage. Hence the potato wars, the fish wars, the Spongebob-unicorn-beatbox sea of drowning, and so on.”
Licks ur eyeballs
“no, Roo, I know what the hazelpage is. I just have no idea why there are magical spongebobs and unicorns and beatboxes attacking me. this never happens in a normal place.” she rolled her eyes.
Roo went to crawl under a rock to stay forever in embarrassment“Ah, gotcha,” Roo said. She supposed that it was a rhetorical question, so she decided not to answer it. She then decided to answer it, going against her Law of Embarrassment. (Never say anything that you might regret later). “Who ever said this was a normal place?” she retorted. Roo then went to the bathroom to wash her eyes out after a certain someone (I’m in me mum’s cAr) licked her eyeballs. It was disgusting .
👁👅👁
Raven sit down. It’s sort of like a restaurant; you can get a drink and chat. Beware of slapping fish!
This is the true dimension that the government is trying to hide from us
And i can legally eat you here 👁👃🏼👁