The Hazelpage

The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.

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[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]

Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.

Notice Board:
Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.

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  • Fox Trot stepped forward, sat on her huanches, and lifted a microphone to her fox form’s muzzle. She took a deep breath, dimmed the lights and put on her best dramatic announcer voice “Testing, Testing, you now have an announcer for the rap battle”

    • Dappy thought just winging it would be interesting so she nodded and said “Yeah.” She thought about a team name for a bit. She turned to Etherflight. “Maybe our team name could be the Shooting Stars, or the Mystic Arrows, or the Soaring Dragons? I dunno, just somethings that popped into my head.”

  • Rose remembered this place existed and popped out of nowhere. “Oh hey yall, just letting ya know I have achieved ultimate power by becoming a warrior and now can destroy this timeline. But I won’t because that’s boring.”

    She settled into a seat. “However… that doesn’t mean I couldn’t make a little chaos…” She smiled to herself, waiting for anyone to get the references.

  • “Epic Rap Battles of Blogclan ” Jag said standing on a table . ” who dares to battle me , the best rapper on Blogclan.” Jag yanked a mop out of someones hands and chucks it at a random person .

  • Wavey leaned over the bar. “Hey, can I have some popcorn? This is gonna be good.”

  • Dappy realized she had been waiting for an online rap battle for three days and began contemplating life.

  • Ya know what, screw it. I’ll go first.
    Wishi opened her mouth to spit some lines and get this show movin’.

    “Oh, great Kate above
    Here we go on another mission
    I’ll give you just a second
    To reflect on your poor decision

    Nobody needs you or your toxic spite
    So just take your bags and then take flight
    And while your ‘glory’ is at its height
    We’ll see our chance, we’ll win this fight

    And maybe if you set aside
    Your hubris and your dangerous pride
    Maybe you will no longer be blind
    And realize we can match you stride by stride.

    But I understand if that’s out of your reach
    There are a few who you just can’t teach
    And honestly, just hold your breath
    None of us need that eagle screech

    All the choices we have shunned
    Your ego leaves us shocked and stunned
    And while you preen over all you’ve done
    Just know that we’ve already won

    But if you feel the need to carry on
    I’m sure we can endure
    Now take your time and waste your lines
    And we’ll fake insult from your words

    Now pitch your act and boast your claim
    Now’s your time to shine or fall
    Now drop the act of pride
    Just like you’ll go in and drop the ball.”

    Ok, I decree it Flighty’s turn.

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