The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
“Hiss and so forth,” Dappy said, kicking over a chair she promptly picked back up. She strolled up to the bar. “Do you offer mocha bianca frappes with cinnamon syrup? If you do I would like one.”
Emberblaze walks in and wonders why no one is here anymore.
Wistep had been gone for a long time, and she knew it. But what she didn’t expect was the eerie silence that greeted her as she awkwardly pushed her way through the door and crashed into a statue. Wait, no. It was one of her fellow BlogClanners glued to the spot. After a quick glance around the tavern, she had the very sudden realization that everyone seemed to be frozen. What was going on?
Spotify, who had also just come back, was startled. What had happened? She glanced, unsure, at Wistep, raising an imaginary eyebrow at her, confused.
“THE DAY OF RECKONING HAS COME!” Dappy shouted, summoning a hail storm of Chipotle chicken tendies. After the dust had settled she said, “Happy Mid-Winter’s End Eve! Eat your presents.” She poofed away while saying, “TODAY DOESNT COUNT IM NOT PAYING FOR ANY DAMAGES THAT MIGHT HAVE OCCURRED TO THIS ESTABLISHMENT!”
“OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM, EIEIO!” Cinnamon screamed, barging into the hazelpage.
Dappy poofed back, and flopped onto a pile of chicken. The glorious tendies weren’t touched. “WHAT THE HEC HAPPENED HERE!” he shouted. “WHY HAS NO ONE EATEN THE CHICKEN?!?!”
What be this?
EAT. THE. CHICKEN TENDIES. THEYVE BEEN HERE NEARLY A MONTH. EAT THEM CLO.
OKAY DAPPY!
but seriously what be this?
This is the Hazelpage! It’s a secret page Josh made a while back. I believe at this point it’s just used as a place to be random 😛
oof how do I find this if it’s not in recent purrs 😛
bookmark it?
okay then 😛
Look up “Hazelpage” on Google? 😛
Or on the search bar by your name when you log in?
Navy cannot do gymnastics. Especially cartwheels.
But Navy somehow cartwheels into the Hazelpage and orders a lemonade, even though she knows perfectly well that she does not like lemonade. (FIZZY STUFF BURNS YOUR TONGUE!!!!!!)
What an odd place, thinks Navy.
“How about some chicken tendies?” He offers the chicken to Navy.
“I’m actually vegetarian and have been for my whole life, sorry!” She says
(That fact is actually true lol)
Dappy walked over to the bar. “I oRdErEd My CoFfEe OvEr A mOnTh AgO mAy I pLeAsE hAvE iT?”
Ivie poofed into the Hazelpage. She hadn’t been here for ages!!! The last time she was here she was still a kit.
So she sat in a chair and admired the gothic, European look of the place . . . For 2 and a half minutes. And then she poofed her iPad into her hands and rewatched her favourite episode of Hetalia. Again. The last time she had watched anime in the Hazelpage it had been with Rose, watching Lucky Star and something else!!
Small Flower dropped from the sky out of nowhere onto the Hazelpage. “WoWiEo! tHiS pLAcEe hAs ChANGeD a LoT !!” even though she had never actually been here before. But she had heard stories from the eLdErS that this place had once been a huge part of the secret page battles “all’s fair in love and war” but she had never believed them and she STILL didn’t believe them — even less after seeing what a warm and friendly place it was.
oWo I need to bookmark this page
“Hmmmmm. Yeah. That might have been me.” He looks around at the piles of chicken tendies and a few obliterated tables and chairs. “Yeah, definitely me.”
“wOwO !1!!!!1!! they have cHiCkEn tEnDieS? cats dont eat chicken tendies but i guess now they do”
She pads up to the bar. “May I please have a five-month-old Awshucks latte please? thank you so much here’s five million dollars”
She hands the dead cashier fifty dollars, then rolls away to chat with Dappy at a table in an eerie corner. “So what did you order?” she asks, head lolling to the side creepily. “I ordered a five-month-old Starshucks latte.”
“I ordered a mocha Bianca frapp with cinnamon syrup a month ago. And then I ordered it again.” He pops a chicken tendey in his mouth. “I may have over done it for Mid-Winters End Eve.”
“I’m very much not dead, thank you,” huffed Emberdawn from behind the counter.
She dipped a chicken tendie in hot sauce. “Oh, sorry,” she mewed casually, “you looked pretty dead to me.” She then picked up the container of hot sauce and poured it into her mouth.
“Just because this area is dead doesn’t mean the occupants are,” Emberdawn grumbled.
Iceflower popped up from where she was sleeping under the counter, bonking her head. “I’m trying to sleep and you people are yelling about ‘chicken tendies’?” She huffed, secretly craving a big plate of them herself.
“Are you the cashier? Could I get a pumpkin spice latte?”