The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Blackkit appeared out of nowhere. “Oh gosh what is this place?!” He sat down and curled his tail around him. “I guess I’ll order something?” Blackkit stood up and walked over to the counter. “Hey, where’s the menu?” he said to one of the cats behind the counter.
Wren appeared out of the shadows and slipped over to the counter. “May I have five bottles of CSS Cola? I know it’s unhealthy but whatever.”
Emberdawn pulled the bottles out from under the counter. “Here you go.”
No one answered his call. “Never mind…I’ll just get some chicken from the table.” He jumped onto the table and grabbed a drumstick.
Dappy saw the bartender reappear. “OH EMBERDAWN YOURE BACK! Now can I please have the mocha Bianca frappe with cinnamon syrup I ordered a month ago?”
Blackkit started to groom himself in the corner. This place is nice, he thought, I might as well stay here for the night. He walked up to the counter. “Can I have a room upstairs?” He asked.
Emberdawn nodded, reaching for a room key. “Room 2-17!” She told him, pointing at the stairs. “If you want to extend your stay, just come back to talk to one of the staff members.”
Blackkit snatched the keys out of Emberdawn’s paw. He padded upstairs.
Cinnamonpaw skedaddled over to the counter. “Heeelllooooo, do you guys sell chocolate chip cookies?” She asked.
juni yawned. everything was boring
Holly jumped onto a random bar stool. “Can I order some Nachos? With extra extra extra extra extra cheese? Even though cats can’t eat cheese?”
Dappy was beginning to get impatient. “Can. I. Just. Have. My. Coffee. It’s. Been. Over. A. Month. Embix.”
(Dappy, cats can’t eat coffee)
Because you DRINK it 😛
Also we may be humans? Or cat-humans? Because I don’t think we’re just cats
(Last I checked, we’re humans 😛 )
“Don’t Worry,” Hollykit yawned. “I’m sure they’re still making it.”
Blackkit licked at his paw to clean off the last scraps of the chicken he had earlier. He had come down from his room. Blackkit walked up to the counter. “Hello! Do you sell instant noodles? I love instant noodles!”
Wren grabbed her five bottles of CSS Cola and handed Embix 60 pixels. “Thanks.”
She walked over into the shadows and chugged them. She finished quickly, but was still hungry, so she gulped down the bottles and then all the tables and chairs and everything on them. She was still hungry, so Wren ate the order counter. “I HAVE THE POWER TO EAT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING AND IT WON’T HURT ME!” she yelled as she began to try to eat the bartenders.
“WREN STOP I HAVE THE POWER TO CONJURE FOOD PLEASE EAT SOME BEEF JERKY.” Dappy made a large bag of teriyaki beef jerky appear.
“OH THANKS I’M ALWAYS HUNGRY! AND WHY AM I YELLING EVERYTHING?!” She ate the beef jerky so quickly it looked like it just disappeared. Wren then lunged at a poor random bystander and began to eat them.
Suddenly, a giant heap of endless food appeared!!!!1!!!!!1!!!1!!!!!! It had watermelons, and tomatoes, and sushi!!!!!1!!!!1!!!!!1!!!!!!1!!! Wren let go of her victim and dove into the huge pile. “NO ONE GETS ANY OF THIS!!!” She yelled at everyone.
Hollykit sneezed. “Okay.”
“Oh and if you have any fresh-kill or something can I have it? Here take 95 pixels.”
Blackie looked eagerly at the food Wren was gobbling down. Blackkit pounced on some sushi and grabbed it quickly. “No food gets past Blackie!” He yelled triumphantly.
“HEY!” Wren yelled indignantly at Blackie. She grabbed her two awesome weapons – Jayfeather’s Stick and Boomerang Google Translate – and yeeted them at him, while using her watermelon powers to summon creatures made of watermelons, like cats, birds, slapping fish, and alicorns.
“Oh great…” Blackkit sighed. He dashed as fast as a swooping eagle to his room. “ESCAPE FROM THE CREATURES!! AHHHHH!!” He yelled to everyone in sight
Hollykit ran for her life, screaming.
“I’ll also take some instant noodles. Curry flavour. I’m practicing being a poor student for when I inevitably am.”