The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
*yeets around*
”Careful not to over do it!” Creamy meows knawing on a piece of corn beef, ”1. I like my eating space quiet and orderly, and 2. I’m allergic to yeeting.”
“Hoi… Pebble,” Frost said. “Yeet to you too.”
“Watch out for the giant cactus!” Bloomie calls.
“Does…that even make sense?”
Icepaw yeets.
Willowpaw bounces into the tavern. “I don’t wanna do schoolwork” she groans. “I’m just gonna yeet some cake okay?” She grabs a slice of chocolate cake and yeets it at the wall
Redblaze looks at the splat. “B-but that’s a waste of perfectly delicious cake.”
“BUT REDBLAZE IM HAVING AN ADRENALINE RUSH I NEED TO LET IT GOOOOOO” willowpaw starts Singing let it go at the top of her lungs “LET IT GO LET IT GO I WILL RISE AT THE BREAK OF DAWN! LET IT GO LET IT GO THE PERFECT GIRL IS GONE” willowpaw jumps on the table and screeches “THE FLOOR IS LAVA”
“Ah!” Cinderpaw screams. She jumps onto a couch. “Don’t touch the floor because the floor is?”
“Larvae,” Windpaw responds
Aquila picks her self up off wherever she last was, “Floor….lava…..?” she mumbles, “Wait ahhhhhhhhhhh” she screeches as she realises and remembers playing it in primary school, and then leaps up onto the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. She hangs on as it swings from side to side like a pendulum on a big clock.
“What’s primary school?” Cindy asks.
“You call it elementary school, don’t you?” Aquila yells down from her perch on the chandelier, “it’s for kids aged 4-11 if that helps!”
“In America, we do call it elementary school!” shouts Rabbitflame as she dashes like a shot from a gun across the floor and onto the coffee table.
“Ahhhhhh funnnn” Aquila screeches from the sofa, too lazy to get up and join her.
“WHAT THE STARCLAN?” Frost yelled, jumping on a sofa.
Redblaze blinks at the floor, slowly registering what’s going on then leaps up onto the tabletop, knocking over several drinks
Windpaw looks up from his book, blinks, sighs, and resumes reading.
Raven quickly jumps onto the table, which instantly burns up in the lava. However, before the table burned up, Raven shapeshifts into a literal raven with a cape and just casually flies over the lava.
Flamey jumps up and down before leaping onto a chandelier. She crashes to the floor, then runs over to join Aquila on a sofa.
Creamblossom shakes her head. ”That poor cake, Willow, how could you!”
Willowpaw grins “like this!” She proceeds to yeet another cake at the wall
Bloomie stares at the smashed cake as it slowly drips down the wall. “Poor cake…”
Cindy runs in. “Hoi guys! Anyone wants to sit with me?” She plops down on a couch. Vipvip, a waitress, comes over to her table. “May I have a vanilla beam frappucino? Extra whip cream please. Oh, and a small french fries. I have….” She counts her pixels. “Is 17 pixels enough? Let’ see…. 8 for the drink, 4 for the fries, and 5 for tip! Thank you!”
Aquila drops off the chandelier and falls straight onto a sofa opposite Cindy’s. The sofa sags a lot as she lands with a massive thump, “At least it wasn’t the floor!” she mews cheerfully.
“Well, hi, Aquila! How are you?”
“I’m great!!!!!” Aquila yells, “I’m making fajitas in DT today and I have to carry oil to school and my container isn’t completely leak proof so I’m probably gonna get covered in olive oil! 😛 How are youuuu??”
“I’m great!!”
Rabbitflame rushes over with her lemonade. “Definitely!”
Bloomie picks up yet another sofa. She set it down next to Cindy’s couch and sat down, slurping her coconut water. “I’ll sit!” She smiles.
“I think I’m the only neko here.” Frost muttered, “Ugh, writing is hard.”
“I think I’m the only shapeshifter here,” says Raven, still in raven (the bird) form hovering over a floor of lava.
“Cool!” Frost meowed, swishing her black tail.
Pear slowly sighed and carefully walks over to the fireplace. She somehow had shoved a math workbook in her pocket, which she took out now. Carefully, she ripped each page out and dropped them into the fire with an evil smirk on her face. Slowly she placed the cover into the flames. “Now I don’t have to do math,” she mutters under her breath.
Frost stared. “Uh….”
Redblaze blinks forlornly at it. “That’s my revision sheets” she mews
“Shucks.” Rabbitflame mutters. “Some of my homework pages were in there.”
Rabbitflame’s teacher, Ol’ Bent-back, looks up from across the room. “Eh? Whozzat? Rabbitflame, you ain’t got your homework done? Out with the whacker!” Rabbitflame’s teacher starts running at her with a weed whacker, shouting curses while Rabbitflame ducks underneath tables.
Redblaze yelps and hides behind a chair
She’s been doing a lot of that recently
Bloomie claps. “Great show! But next time, I wanna see more fire.” she grins. “Maybe a flamethrower?”
“Ohh, definitely!” Pear smiles ominously.
“I might be able to bring one of my OCs that can literally shoot fire out of her eyes, but careful, she seems to hold a grudge against anyone who needs to breathe.”
“Don’t worry, I’m a pear,” says Pear.
Rabbitflame decides that it’s time she confesses. “Okay..” she mutters, taking a deep breath in and bowing her head. Suddenly she lifts it back up. “I’ve been hoarding the rainbow-sprinkle donuts with rainbow frosting.” she mews, ashamed.
Viperfrost drops her cup in shock as she gasps. “What?”
“Yeah.” Rabbitflame admits, not meeting Viper’s eyes. “That’s why there’s been so few; I take most of them at night.”
Bloomie screams and runs out of the tavern, coming back after 5 minutes to refill her glass of coconut water.
Frost widened her eyes. “WHA?”
“You WHAT!?” Pear gasps.
Poppypaw’s eyes widen as she slowly spoke. “How could you?”
“Oh, okay, I don’t care.” Raven, in raven form, leaves a bunch of pixels on the counter and grabs a boba-flavored cream puff with her talons. “I’ve always liked the cream puffs better anyway.”
Pear stood up swiftly and silently. A sinister grin spread across her face. Slowly, she made her way to the fireplace once more. From the depths of her hoodie pocket she withdrew a tattered book with menacing equations scrawled within it. Moving deliberately, Pear ripped the first page out. A hush fell over the room as she balled it up and threw it into the roaring fire. She repeated this process until all the pages were demolished. At last, Pear slowly dropped the workbook cover into the inferno below. Everyone caught a glimpse of the words “Pre-algebra” as the flames flickered faster. At last, the torturous publication was gone forever. Pear laughed evilly, and popped a Tic-Tac into her mouth.
“Two more workbooks until I destroy them all.”
Redblaze shifts some papers around herself
“Okay but paws off mine.” She mews
Raven takes out all her workbooks that is related to math and throws it into a portal leading who-knows-where-except-her, all while in raven form.
“You can’t reach mine, they have all my doodles in there anyway,” she snickered.
“You know, my teacher 6 teacher asked us what we were going to do with our homework books at the end of the year. I think he expected us to keep them or something but everyone said they were going to burn them! 😛” Aquila mews.
“Pear!” Frost gasped.
…
“Can you throw my science homework in the fire too?”
“Sure!” replies Pear, tossing Frost’s homework into the flames.
Bloomie shrieks and pulls out a flamethrower, dousing the tavern’s fireplace in strange pink flames. After a minute or two, she lowered it. “That should do the trick!”
Pear grabbed a flamethrower that totally wasn’t stolen from someone and burned another book.
Windpaw got up and stood next to the wall phone, ready for a emergency.
Poppypaw got up and joined Windpaw. ” I don’t think that’s safe,Pear.”
“Maybe you should burn books someplace else?” offered Raven, in raven form.
Icepaw shyed away from pear. She didn’t like fires.
Redblaze screeches and grabs a water pistol, aiming it at pear
….
“SOMEONE CALL 911!” Frost yelled. “And hey! That was my flamethrower!”
“It’s mine now,” declared Pear.
Windpaw pulled out a document of safety requirements for your new flamethrower and handed it to Pear
Poppypaw looked over at Frost. “Most of us are cats,the police wouldn’t take us seriously.”
Then call animal control
“Burn it!” Bloomie screeched. “BURN THEM ALL!!!”
Windpaw turned on the sprinkler system.
Creamblossom hungrily devours a plate of cranberry sauce, fried chicken, and two burritos, then sits quietly on the stairway, watching the drama of the Hazelpage unfold…and hoping no one noticed she ate so much food of course.
Aquila noticed :)))) 😛
“Creamblossom….” Frost squinted her eyes.
“YEET!” yells Ttera for no particular reason.
”Huh. Okay.” Creamblossom nods, ”That totally makes since.”
“Hoi!” Frost chirped.
“Yeet!” Redblaze yelps back
“Howdy,” Bloomie grins.
Flamey waltzed into the Hazelpage, a crown atop her head. “Bow before me, for I am Queen Flamethrowerflower the fourteen- hundredth!” She flips her hair over her shoulder, making her crown fall off. She hurriedly grabbed it, trying to make it look like it was intentional.
Poppypaw laughed quietly as she saw Flamey’s crown fall off.
”Empresses, do not bow to Queens. Especially not ones who are so careless with their regal attire.” Creamblossom meows, trying not to laugh.
“I, Frostcrystal, will never bow to anyone,” Frost lifts her chin. She snickered as Flamey’s crown fell.
Windpaw said, “I’ll bow if you name every queen 1-1399.”
“Eh, no thanks,” answered Ttera.
Rabbitflame comes into the Hazelpage riding a unicorn. She pours a cup of coffee and takes a sip. “Eh. Too bitter.” She holds the coffee out to the unicorn, who promptly vomited rainbow-colored throw-up into it. Rabbitflame stirs it up with a popsicle stick and sips her coffee again. “Better.”
Cinderpaw shoots her a disgusted look. “Can’t you do that somewhere else?”
Poppypaw shook her head. “Really? That’s not the best way to make your coffee less bitter.”
“My unicorn is special, it’s barf is lollipop flavored.”
“UGHH i’m so hungryyyyy. I want Mexicannnnnn” Cindy whines.
“Not meee!” Frost said