The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Windpaw glances around the Hazelpage from under the sofa. Seeing how crazy it is, he decides to make it more hazardous “I’ve always wanted to make a wormhole…”
“No no no no no!” Redblaze yelps. “We can’t have wormholes in here- it’ll ruin the borders of the Hazelpage!”
Flower frowned, “But the borders will live right?”
Redblaze makes worried noises
Flower cocked her head, “you good?”
Redblaze is too busy making noises to hear
“Can I help??” Aquila asks way too eagerly.
“The more the merrier!” Windpaw responds joyfully!
“Yayyy!!!” Aquila screeches happily.
“WINDPAW!” Frost yelled.
“I think to create a wormhole you would have to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow” Shadow replied.
“Sounds easy enough!” Windpaw stayed optimistic
“Yeah!” Flower says, “But I don’t understand half the things shadow said! sO LetS Do It!”
”I can do more then help. I can create the whole damn thing.” Rosettestream (formerly Creamblossom), meows regally, and in one graceful twirl puts on a cloak of infinity. ”You see, among other things, I happen to be Sorceress Supreme and guardian of the Infinity Stones.”
“I’LL HELP IF WE CAN THROW MY BROTHER IN IT!” Flower yelps eagerly, then pauses, “Wait no, he’s the one that gets off the couch to get the snacks during the movie…CAN I GO IN IT???!!!!”
“YES” Windpaw screams
Flower looked as if she was gonna explode, “OMG YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!”
“According to Google, all I need is 2 black holes…” Windpaw muttered. Then, he put a sign on the wall of the Hazelpage. “Black holes necessary! Donations accepted!”
Poppypaw read the sign and turned to Windpaw. “I know a guy who has a bunch! You gotta sell your soul to him to get one,though.”
“Souls necessary! Donations accepted!” Windpaw puts up another sign
Flower looked at her, “I’m willing to give half of mine if you give half of yours,”
“Wait…. I know what to do…” Windpaw leaves the Hazelpage and runs back with 2 blobfish. “Now where do I find this guy?”
Slatepaw has a brilliant idea.
“Ohh, wait! I remember seeing somewhere that a black hole would mean squeezing the Sun into an area as large as Manhattan. So now, we need two solar systems, a galaxy-sized compressor, and 9 lives per cat just in case we explode during compression…
Blobfish may come in handy. Find more.”
“Lucky I have a pocket dimesion!”Windpaw pulls out a pocket dimesion and jumps in. He soon returned with 2 blobfish. “They have suns inside”, he explained, “And Manhattan”
Flower stepped back in shock, “NOT THE BLOBFISH, wait I can’t think of any other animal that would be less traumatizing for me so just continue,” she then continued to wave her tail excitedly.
“We can use krypton’s solar system, nothing lives there now!” Said Flower being that super nerd.
“Yeah, use the Krypton’s solar system and duplicate. I have just have happened to morph our entire solar system into doggos with wings that are basically immortal. But I also had a duplicate ready, but oh, I happened to turn that into Warrior cat OCs.”
“I can take them to him if you don’t mind.” She steals a bag of the counter and shoves the blobfish in it.
That would be great!
“I believe it was 1 black hole and 1 white hole, not 2 black holes, and I don’t know other than performing basic cosmocreature magic where you could get a white hole.” Raven shrugged, morphing into a cosmodog and flying all over the place for absolutely no reason.
Flower looked at Raven puzzled, “So do we get 2 black holes or one white hole and a black hole.”
“In order to open a wormhole, we need one black hole, one white hole, and one wormhole,” replied Raven, most likely making this even more confusing, “Yes. We need a wormhole to open a wormhole.”
“Wait…so if we can find a wormhole to make a wormhole…why are we making a wormhole if we can find one?” Flower asked confused, “This is hard for my one brain cell to process…”
“Maybe we can create a password,”suggested Oakpaw, “That way the dark forest cats and twolegs can’t get in.”
While no one was paying attention,Poppypaw ran out of the Hazelpage with the bag of blobfish and came back in with a box. It read,”DO NOT BREAK,BLACKHOLES INSIDE.” She handed it to Windpaw,looking pleased.
Willowpaw flops onto the couch and immediately falls asleep
Frost covered a snort
”Undignified” Rosettestream mutters quietly, almost imperceptibly…then curls up on the floor below the couch and dozes off.
Redblaze debates about joining her
Flowerpaw cocked her head, “I was gonna say something but I forgot what it was…the peacefulness here is blocking out my one brain cell”
Rabbitflame prances in and takes a look around. “Wow…… I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this.”
Rosettestream quirked her tail tip questioningly and tilted her head.
”You were expecting this to become normalcy?”
“Nah, i mean like the theme of Blogclan.”
Flower cocked her head, “What does normalcy mean??” she paused then laughed, “I’m just messing, I’m not THAT dumb”
Frost growled. “ARGH WRITING IS SOOOO HARD!” She shouted, slamming her water bottle down on the table. “I swear, if I don’t have any ideas for Shattered Mirrors, I’ll dieeeee.” She whined.
”Life is hard.” Rosettestream mutters, then meows aloud ”I can help you brainstorm if you want Crystal. Then you can stop dying…your…your not dead right 😉 ”
“I’m not, but I probably will.” Frost grumbled. “but sure you can help!”
Redblaze puts on a thinking face.
“Maybe someone could smash a mirror?” she mews
unhelpfully“I WILL!” Flower says breaking mirror, “I was helpful AND it was fun! That was helpful right…”
Slatepaw’s face has an amused look on it.
“Do we buy another mirror now? That was the only large one around…”
Redblaze screeches. “Nooooo!! That’s bad luck! We’re cursed!”
“Wait…so I WASN’T helpful” Flower said sadly, then perked up, “Oh cool I’m cursed! HEY SLATEPAW I’M CURSED!!! EVERYBODY I’M CURSED!!!!”
Flower looked at her paws waiting for her fur to change, “Will I turn into a black cat now or something??!!”
Redblaze sits huddled in a corner mumbling incoherently
Maledictus is also an option if you are immersed in the world of Harry Potter and the Wizarding World.
Flower crossed her uh paw or uh arms or uh front legs stubbornly, “I CaN StIlL Do ThaT, I CaN FiGuRe OuT HoW To GeT ThErE. I’ll use Windpaw’s wormhole!” 😀
“Nah, it’s fine, after all it’s just a fanfic, I posted the prologue on the fanfiction page, but I still don’t have any idea’s.” Frost pouted.
Flower also pouted, “so I’m NOT cursed?”
“Probably.”
“SwEet,” Flower said barley paying attention to anything she bounced around the room.
“I mean I guess the title is called Shattered Mirrors, so someone can smash a mirror.”
Flower clapped her paws together excited, “Does that mean I can smash another mirror??!”
“Sure if you want to, it might give me an idea.” Frost shrugged
Flower grinned, took a mirror over her head, and smashed it down onto her head.
She rubbed her head and she said, “Anything yet?!”
“Smashing your head helps no one, and harms your brain.”
“What brain,” Flower asked, “I only have one brain cell, actually me and my friends share the brain cell. I think M has it this week…”
“Ooh! Yeah! Thanks, Flower!”
Minktail hops up on a table.
“Let’s say, hypothetically, I’m a little kitty cat,” she begins, her face serious. “And, for the sake of debate, let’s say I dance-dance-dance.” She waves her paws in a little dance.
She’s been watching too much TikTok. That audio of Ben Shapiro haunts her.
Rosettestream narrowed her eyes mischievously. ”Wow Mink, I didn’t know you auditioned for the CATS movie!” Rosettestream teases (gently she hopes).
Red peaks her head into the Hazelpage for the first time in like two months after she went inactive on the blog because she was too lazy to check. “What’s up everyone?!” she calls
“I’M DOING FINEEE!” Frost screamed, grabbing her flamethrower (just look at my siggie)
“I’m alright” Shadow replies.
”Oh well you know,” Rosettestream meowed with a wave of her tail ”I’m surviving. Thank you for asking 🙂 ”
“Hi other Red!!!!” Redblaze yelps
“I’m doing GrEaT!” Flower says eating some ice cream, “I also forgot…I mean just didn’t have time to check blogclan and just came now! if my I remembered there was ice cream I would have came back sooner! I meannn uhhh, how’s everybody’s life been?”
“AHHH HIIII REDDDDDDDD” Aquila yells at the top of her voice and races over to her friend, opening the door fully, “Come on in!!!”
Slatepaw peeks into the Hazelpage, only to find a large selection of cats writing dialogues in the comments.
“HOI SLATEPAWWWW” Flower said gleefully, “WE’RE GONNA OPEN A WORMHOLE WANNA JOIN!!!!” Something on everycat’s faces told here to calm down, “You can jump in it with meeee!!!!!!”
“I’m not a cat!” Frost said. “Well sort of, I’m a cat human, a neko :)”
Flower sat down on a single pillow, “I’m very happy with my warrior name! Even though there’s still 659 days left until I’m a warrior! I already know what I’m going to do when I become a warrior, I’m going to give an apprentice a mentor!” She said proudly hoping that by some strange miracle someone was listening.
“Now that would be very nice,” Slatepaw said, joining her with another pillow. “I think the apprentice list is very in need of mentors, and probably will be for a long time, longer than 659 days.” 😉
“The day the apprentice list dies is the day I wear high heels,” Flower added hoping the apprentice list never dies.
“Ummmm…..” Flamey glanced away, thinking of how she wore high heels to walk around her house. “To be fair, I don’t actually wear them outside!” She said out loud before realizing she was talking to herself.
Flower shivered as she remembered that one time she wore the smallest heel and tripped like ten times in 5 seconds before tearing them off.
“I just could never do it…” Flower whispered with a dark look on her face.
now you know what’s in my nightmares“My friend tried to teach me how one time. I’m okay at walking in them but they hurt my feet.” Poppypaw stated,remembering how she tripped around the house for an hour and then took them off.
Flamey thinks of the 10 inch platform heels she tried on at her cousins and refused to take off until she twisted her ankle. She smiles, her eyes flicking side to side.
“Your warrior name is very pretty.” Redblaze agrees
“Why thank you,” Flower said, “It took me 4 months to figure it out!”
Raven is eavesdropping, for some reason, and finds out that Windpaw is planning to make a wormhole.
Of course, being a shapeshifter and also having a made-up creature called a cosmodog on her list of available animals, she shapeshifts into one of those, except with raven-black wings instead of the usual snow-white.
Being a cosmodog, she has the ability to open portals, which can be called wormholes by planetmortals, however these portals do not work how they seem to work.
She opened one straight to one of her OC rooms.
Angry growling followed. “–are you implying that seals ARE FISH?!” After hearing a false mammalian statement, Raven immediately closed the portal and morphed back into cat form.
Redblaze blinks from her corner.
Willowpaw walks up to the bar, “can i have a pumpkin spice latte without actual coffee? Im not allowed to have it but i want to try a pumpkin spice latte. Pleaseeee?”
“Sure!” Cheetah chirped, sliding it over. “Coffee tastes terrible, anyway.”
“Really? Coffee smells heavenly to me,” Slatepaw said. “But I haven’t had actual coffee though, only tiramisu and coffee-flavored cakes.”
“I don’t really mind the smell all that much, it’s just the taste that bothers me. I would much prefer a vanilla frappuccino.”
“Don’t listen to her,” Flower told Willowpaw, “Coffee is delicious and your going to love it!”
“It’s just so bitter…” She murmured. “It would need at least a pound of cream to taste okay.”
“NOOOO CREAM RUINS IT,” Flower screamed in horror, “Putting cream in coffee is like putting hot sauce on pie. I was raised on black coffee, I know the wonders of SwEeT bitterness. My cousins though…they’re parent’s give them like a drop of coffee and like the rest is milk and they say “they drink coffee” but they will never understand the beauty of black coffee. They do the same thing with hot cocoa, all whip cream no chocolate…”
Flower shivered.
“Hot sauce on pie, yum…”
YES YES!!!!! my lil bro gets a mocha at the coffee shop, but then when we get home, he puts a gallon of chocolate syrup in it and says “yum. coffee” 😠😠
“I agree.” Poppypaw said . “Coffee tastes weird.”
“Thank you!”
Slatepaw is starting to get seriously concerned. “How early are these people affected by the adult coffee addiction?”
“Well, I tasted my first cup of coffee when I was 10, then I had another cup of coffee when I was 11 and since then I’ve been given coffee on holidays and whenever I get a starbucks gift card,” Flower said in a matter of fact tone.
“I’ve only tried it twice,so I don’t think I’m addicted.” Poppypaw said in the same tone as Flowerpaw.
Flamey leaps in. “Fear me, for I am The Floof Supreme, Floofystixsdazzlejazz IIIV!” She perches a tiny crown on her head and walks over to a sofa, where she sits down heavily. Her crown immediately falls off, and she proceeds to plop it back on her head and start snoring.
Flower tip toes off the couch and slowly walks far, far, far away from her scary royal snozziness.
“You are not a queen if your crown can’t remain on your head for more than 5 seconds,” remarked Raven, flicking her now fluffy tail. “So I shall not fear you. I will remain apathetic as usual.”
Flamey gets off her couch, having been able to hear everything. “You dare offend the great Floofystixdazzlejazz VIII?” she says in a squeaky voice. She plops her tiny crown on her head before standing on a coffee table, flapping her arms like chicken wings, and bouncing around in a circle. “WHAYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYO!” she screams before her crown falls off and she picks it back up.
A squeak rings in the cozy atmosphere as the door cracks open, revealing a small, round form. “It’s been a while since I last visited here,” the ball of mozzarella mumbled to herself as she slowly rolls into the warm room.
Viperfrost’s eyes widened at the sight of the cheese wheel. She quickly used a napkin to cover up the plate of sliced cheddar in front of her.
The mozzarella settles on an old bar stool, basking in the warm lamplight and the aroma of the beverages around her. It’s so comfortable that she begins to melt. But suddenly, a scent of another individual of her kind seeking help catches her attention. From some cheddar, to be specific. She rises and scans the surrounding, yet not even a shadow from a cheese other than herself can be found.
Viperfrost flinches, rapidly shoving the plate of cheddar underneath the napkin holder itself and covering it with a tarp.
Slatepaw debates whether or not she should tell the mozzarella wheel that Viperfrost is hiding cheddar.
Viperfrost shoots an accusatory look at Slatepaw. She knew for a fact that Slatepaw had eaten some provolone just earlier!
Still suspecting, the cheese sits down once more just to catch a very stale scent from some provolone.
Redblaze’s nose twitches and she stares at the roll of cheese as it enters.
Cinderpaw runs in, her paws banging hard on the oak floors. Being a RiverClan apprentice, she loves to swim, so her fur is all glossy. “HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” She screams. She orders a vanilla bean frap and some sweet potato waffle fries. “Does anyone want to sit with me?!” she screams and turns into a neko. “Ah, much better.”
Icepaw runs to her and screams hysterically