The Hazelpage

The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.

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[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]

Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.

Notice Board:
Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.

14,453 comments

    • Shimmers looked up from where she was hiding under the couch. “I’ve given up trying to stop them…” she mewed sadly. “I suppose could, though…” She wiggled out from her hiding place and clapped her paws hopefully. Instead of all of the chaos-causing things disappearing like she had wanted, the floor of the Hazelpage was covered in whipped cream.
      “Great,” Shimmers sighed. “Now I look like a puffy cream cat! Joy.” She hopped up onto the couch and curled up under a blanket.

      • “WHIPPED CREAM FLOOOOOR!” Viper yelled, diving onto the ground.

        • “y e s” Ember said, holding the tiny dragon baby on her head as it flopped into the whipped cream. “I really, really love whipped cream. I mean its soft and poofy. Whats not to like?”

        • Captain gave out a meow of surprise as Viper dove into the ground. “I sure hope that she doesn’t get a sugar rush…” she thought to herself. She sat up on the couch and tried to clean her captain’s hat to the best of her ability, for such a large dive had splattered it with whipped cream. She looked to the side, where Shimmers was hidden under a blanket. “Shimmers, look what your whipped cream did!” She meowed sadly.

        • “The other day my friends and I managed to finish an entire can of whipped cream by using it on spicy Doritos and other odd things. It was an interesting experience since it ended with one of them shoving an entire half of an orange smothered in the stuff into her mouth while laughing uncontrollably. She then proceeded to drink the rest of the cream. That was a fun day” Navy reminisces.

      • “Whippy Cream! Whippy cream! My mom said to never give a kit whipped cream,,” Lilykit says, licking her lips. “I’m going to eat it ALL!”

      • Nilla charged into the room, raising her head and hollering, “Guess what? I CHANGED MY PURRSONA!” Before she slipped on the whipped cream and fell with a splatter. A few seconds later she re-emerged from the whipped cream, covered in the cream. “Oh great, who put this here? Now I’m even more cream-coloured.” She gestured to her brown paws that were covered in the cream, and to her fur which was a similar colour to the cream. She licked her paw. “Yum.”

      • “GIMME ALL THE CREAMMMMMMM!” Silvy barged in as she flung all her cookies away and dived head first into the soft and poofy floor.

  • “WHIPPED CREAM!!!” Mistfeather yowled before jumping off a couch and swimming in the whipped cream while eating it.

  • “RED HAS ARRIVED!!!” vae cry out, waltzing into the Hazelpage, a mysterious source playing Fly Phoenix Fly from League of Legends following vaem in.

  • can the next page be a peace page, I dare you all to have one whole page of peace, and if you guys win I will write a story about the first five characters you but in the fan fic organization

  • Swirly stared at the lime ooze. “NOOOO IF ONLY I COULD SHOVE ASHFUR INTO THIS TO SOAK IT UP😱😱😱” she grabbed her ashfur drawing from 2018 and it quickly absorbed barely an ounce of the ooze. “Well um, that wasn’t the greatest hero plan” she said, standing like the cat in the “when your parent are arguing about divorce but you tell them you set your phone’s language to Japanese and can’t change it back to stop them” meme.

  • Lilykit buys a huge whippy cream bottle and puts whippy cream on ham and on choccy milk. “Who wants some Whippy ham and Whippy choccy milk?” she screeches over le noise.

    • “Not a fan of ham, but I would love that whippy choccy milk,” Silvy mewed to Lilykit, “Here, you can have a magic cookie in return for the milk.”

      • *gives le milk* “Thanks Silvy!” Lilykit mumbled through cookiw

  • Dawny revealed that they were the one who’d stolen Shimmers’ magic, all along.
    They clapped their whipped cream and probably toxic sludge-covered paws.
    All of the danger goo vanished, along with the gross whipped cream and ashes.
    “How about we keep the whipped cream in inflatable pools, instead?” They asked the Chaospage, somehow being heard over the craziness.
    “If the whipped cream is in pools, then it won’t get nasty junk or toxic sludge in them!”

    • “How about we keep all the whipped cream in a giant coconut shell instead?” Silvy suggested, as she clapped her paws and summoned a huge coconut shell containing fresh whipped cream.

        • “Your right,” Silvy mewed, scrunching up her face, “I must have been distracted by the whipped cream.”

    • “Stole my magic?!!” Shimmers asked. “I don’t remember anyone stealing my magic!” She clapped her paws and any toxic sludge disappeared and was replaced with more whipped cream.

  • *EPIC GASP* “MORE WHIPPED CREAM!!?!?” Swirly yowls. Diving into the whipped cream. “Oh wait I’m short and I’ll sink” she says. “JUST KIDDING NO IM NOT AHAHAHAHAH” she mews, revealing that she is in fact 5’2, or very tall for her age. She dips a taquito in whipped cream and says “that is not poggers”

  • Daydream dipped a broomstick in whipped cream and started to eat it like it was nothing. She gulped it down and yelled, “THATS POGGERS”

  • “BEHOLD! I HAVE FOUND MY MAGICAL MITTENS” shouts Swirly, using her powers to make a taquito fountain. “YES” she says. She dove into the taquito fountain and ate all of the taquitos. She then layed on her back, because her belly now hurt and had inflated to three times it’s size.

  • *bursts through the door* I haven’t been here in a while . . we still throwing food?

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