The Hazelpage

The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.

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[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]

Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.

Notice Board:
Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.

14,451 comments

  • (replying from let the chaos begin)

    “Yes yes! Sing about my furniture!” Daykit yowled as she threw a chair and a yoga ball at Hawkie, “The chair is Slippery Boi, the yoga ball ids neptune. NKOW SING” (I will be joining StudioClan as Shockwhisker\Yayeet)

    • Hawk looked at Daydream. “We must perform the Test of The Studio.” Hawk grabbed a random medicine cat apprentice, Tablepaw, and let Tablepaw yeet something. “If you perform the right action, then you shall be a Studioclan cat.”

      • Daydream sweated intensity. “Uuuh” she picked up Tablepaw yeeted him. She also ate a broom. “Please just let me in I know who Reedshine’s great great great great great great grandson.”

    • Leopardkit stares at the couch Shimmers hid under. “Flicker.” She meows to her Sandwing. “Drag her out from under the couch.” Flicker ignores her and rips the couch to shreds.

      • “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! What did I do to deserve this?” Shimmers wailed. She clapped her paws to make a force field appear around her. Shimmers then ran to the other side of the Hazelpage, far away from Flicker and Leopardkit, and the force field moved with her.

        • “Powerful magic.” Leopardkit meowed. “I like potions more…” She drinks a pale white potion and breaths ice breath.

  • Lilykit / Lilydawn (Call me Lilykit, Lilydawn, Dawn, Lil' Chill Pill- that will never stick- says:

    Hey I’m ba- *sees everything* Imma goooo
    ooooo. *sips juice box*

  • “Oh gosh I missed this place-” Emby said. crawling out of her black hole of inactivity on this place. Yawning she sat down and smiled. “I’m ready for some chaossss.”

  • Annnnnnnnnnd *dramatic entrance*
    Mistfeather comes flying in on Taquito. She bursts down the doors and jumps off mid- flight. She lands and screams ‘long live Wakanda’ while holding a flaming torch.

      • “Ooh, are we having a dragon party? Flicker is my pet dragon.” Leopardkit points at Flicker who is ripping a couch to shreds right now. “I have more dragons.” Suddenly, two dragonets fly into the Hazelpage. “That’s Glow, and that’s Bright.” The dragonets set the Hazelpage on fire. “Yikes!” Leopardkit yells. She hops into a sink and turns the water on.

        • “O’ I SUMMON THE FEARED CLOUD TOWER REPRESENTATIVE, ICY GAZE, AN ICE-SKY DRAGON MYTH HYBRID!” Hawk succeded in summoning a Dragon-person.

          A two-leg-looking dragon popped into existence.

          “Life, how could you do this to me? I made a mistake, HOW COULD YOU D O THIS TO M E?” Icy Gaze shouted.

          • “What is that?!” Leopardkit screeched, still in the sink. She summoned Flicker by her side and leaped on her back. Flicker shook her off until she fell into the pit of inactivity.

            (Inactivity warning)

            • ~hollyfrost looked back and fourth, than summoned her seawing/icewing hybrid (or is it hybird? i get confused sometimes-) ~”this is princess snowflake” she said (idk if it’s a real WOF dragon tho- )

              • Blazestrike decided he had had enough and summoned Mirage, his Rainwing-Sandwing bodyguard. Mirage sauntered over to the other cats and dragons and purred, “You have 5 seconds to tell me what’s going on or you’re going to get a faceful of magic spit and Sandwing venom.”

                • “i have no idea! i swear!!! they started it!!!” hollyfrost screeched

  • “EVERYBODY, GATHER AROUND!” Hawk/Si had an important, VERY important announcement to make. “SOME TWITTER MEMES ARE INSULTING XENOGENDERS! BUT THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE… I MAY CHANGE FROM HAWKWHISKER TO SILENTWISP OR SILENTWHISPER!” Hawk/Si sips a Sprite. “Y’all can go now, and anyone able to go on Twitter and protecc Xenogenders, please do. I, myself, have a Xenogender, Catgender! I’m too young to protecc my rights on Twitter right now. Once I turn 13, I shall repay your favors by protecc you.

    • 💚WolfStar, MothPool, and Lams are some of the BEST SHIPS EVER💚 (Turtlepaw🐢🐢🐢) says:

      “That’s terrible! I hate it when people are rude to others just because of their gender,” Turtle says, a frown on ker face. “However,” ke adds, “if I ever get Twitter one day, I’ll definitely help protect xenogenders.”
      Right Hand Man

  • Moonkit and Moonwatcher start watching Hunter x Hunter with Opalkit – Kurapika is attacking a blue weirdo with da phantom troupe symbol on his back

  • Lightning crackles as a shadowy traveller makes his way to the doors of a dark building. Pausing at the door, he knocks once, and then comes inside. All the chatter stops instantly as the tavern’s occupants stare at him. Reaching into his night-black cloak, the spectre-like figure pulls out… a bright green present! Throwing back the cloak hood to reveal a weather-beaten, yet kind face, Santa throws the rest of the presents onto a table. “What’d I miss?” he says. Then he notices where he is and face-palms. “I knew that GPS system was unreliable. Kris should focus his talents on making gifts, not these newfangled devices! Last time, his Naughty-or-Not machine malfunctioned and the toy workshop blew up! And then his (rant rant rant).” Finally stopping, he grumpily said, “What are you waiting for? I want one C++ Cherryade immediately!”

    The End

      • Blazestrike wandered over and said, “Oh, Santa Claus was just here. It was kind of surprising, since he’s not exactly a regular, but not that surprising compared to all the other chaos here.”