The internet is a storm of URLs, wi-fi and strings of dangerous code, whirling and thundering. Out in the wilderness you can only survive so long unaided, but in here, behind the mellow yellow windows, a safe and comforting place awaits. This place is a respite from the internet; the fire crackles invitingly and alluring rainbow-coloured drinks are poured into glasses. Exciting chatter fills the rooms from tables bustling with friends, eating from trays of warm, rustic carum bread and hearty stews. Gentle music comes from the band in the background.
[image description: a busy tavern lit by orange light]
Come in, chat away, have a great time! The old location may have been overrun by the Codekind, but this new building has three-meter thick walls, three floors and turret bedrooms to rest in at the top! We’ve returned, free from the battles of the secret pages! A safe micro-community of equality and no judgement. Hang up your HTML-reflective suit at the door and settle in with a drink and a meal.
Notice Board: Free candy in the bowl on the counter! What types of candy are there? Yes.
Mallowpaw hoards a bunch of stuff he found in his secret cheese laboratory, then pins a sign to the door of the Hazelpage. The sign says, ‘everyone who is part of the Catnip alliance, sign here’, so he can keep track of who is on his side in the catnip war. He then loads his cheese cannon with 15 catnip plants and 3 rotten waffles left over from the Pancake-Waffle war for good measure. He fires the cannon at the crayon supporters. “Take the catnip! TAKE THE CATNIP!” Mallowpaw chants.
Pumpkinpaw sees the sign and signs her name, bringing her whole catnip army to come. “TAKE THE CATNIP!” she yowls with Mallowpaw.
“NEVER!!!! WE WILL FIGHT THE FIGHT AND WIN THE WAR!” Flamilton yells from the H Tower, where she’s watching the Crayon/Catnip Battle play out. And for good measure, they chuck crayons at the catnip supporters.
Pumpkinpaw steals all the crayons, waiting for the demise of the crayon side when they run out of crayons. “YOU SHALL NEVER STOP US!” she yowls from her catnip base
Shroomi yeets lettuce-lemon-salad-smoothie at the nearest Pumpkinpaw
LETTUCE IS BETTER THAN CATNIP AJAHAHAHASAAAS
Pumpkinpaw gasps and starts throwing catnip at Shroomi. “HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT??” she yowls. “CATNIP IS SUPERIOR TO ALL! ALL HAIL CATNIP!”
Flamilton laughs maniacally from where they’re watching the chaos unfold in the H Tower. While they don’t like either, anything’s better than catnip.
Firepaw walks up to Flamepaw and says, “That dumb cat-nip army will never win”
Pumpkinpaw throws catnip at Firepaw and Flam. “CATNIP IS SUPERIOR TO ALL, WE SHALL WIN THIS WAR!” she yowls.
A NEW WAR HAS BEEN STARTED!!!!! BOW TO DARTH FALLOW AND THE EMPERMOUSE OR JOIN PURRINCESS LECLI’S REBELLION AND GET DESTROOOOOOOYED!!! (More info on the previous page)
NEVER! LETTUCE SHALL REIGN SUPREME
Flamilton, being the way that they are, in fact doesn’t check the last page and stares confused at Fallow. “Ya know, I’ve never seen Star Wars…”
HOW DARE U????!!!!!! GO WATCH STAR WARS RIGHT NOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!
“I think I’ll go Ahsoka mode during the war, no thanks,” Harpy Wynn shrugs, thinking whether to join the empermouse or the rebellion.
“CATNIP SHALL WIN THIS WARR!” Pumpkin yowls as she throws catnip at everyone. “I HAVE NEVER WATCHED STAR WARS BEFOREEEE!”
WATCH STAR WARS FOR STARCLAN’S SAKE!!!!!!!!!
Pumpkinpaw throws catnip at Fallow and runs away. “Nah, I’d rather throw catnip at people.”
Darth Fallow defends herself with her light sabor and slashes the catnip away. ‘WATCH STAR WARS, Y’ALL!’, she yells.
Join the lettuce army! DOWN WITH CATNIP
Hey Shroomi, do you wanna team up with crayons to destroy catnip? ALSO, ARE YOU IN THE EMPIRE/DPRH??? OTHERWISE YOU WILL GET DESTROYED TOOOOOOOO!!!
Hmmmm will an immense amount of lettuce be on this team as well as crayons? I am willing to make a… Temporary alliance. Just until catnip is out of this..
“DOWN WITH CATNIP!” Flamilton agrees. “However the H’s will for sure win this war!” they grin, skipping merrily back into the shadows.
“DOWN WITH EVERYONE WHO IS NOT A CATNIP SUPPORTER!” Pumpkinpaw yowls as she starts firing at the non-catnip supporters
‘DOWN WITH EVERYONE WHO NEVER WATCHED STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!’, Fallowpaw yells.
“NOOO!” Pumpkinpaw yowls as she throws more catnip at Fallow. “WE SHALL NEVER BE DEFEATED!!!”
Kli overhears and immediately goes into hiding (I did not watch Star Wars :0)
HOW DARE U????!!!!!!!! GO WATCH IT!!!!!!!!!
Creamos stands on a stage “how many sides are in this war now?? I regreat starting it 😓”
“I know; it’s hard to keep track of the battles and wars going on nowadays, ahaha.” Harpy Wynn agrees.
“Welp, it’s too late!” Pumpkinpaw starts throwing catnip at random people while munching on more catnip. “We have a truce, right?”
Yes
Queen Froggo had dissapeared for quite sometime, but she burst out into her kingdom singing “You’ll Be Back” From Hamilton with no real reason.
Harpy Wynn creates King George’s cape out of thin air and yells the lyrics along with froggo.
Flamilton appears from the shadows, having been summoned by Hamilton. And not only that, but they’re fully decked out in their King George III regalia. “yOu’LL Be baCk, sOoN yoU’lL sEe!”
Leppo ducks behind a crayon bush to avoid being hit by catnip after putting on her crayon crown.
“you’ll remember you belong to me-“
I already asked this on the allegiances chat page, but I didn’t get a reply there so I’ll ask it here:
Hey Empermouse/Mousebrain! I saw you were on the available metro list, so can you please be my metro? Ty if you consider me as your appendix! It really means a lot to me! The Empire/DPRH will win this war!
oh yeah I forgot to put my metro listing 💀
give me a second I’ll post it
I saw it! And replied!
Queen Froggo felt exhaust weigh her down. Now that the kingdom was at war, she was always tired. In fact, even when she tried to sleep all she could here were canons and gunshots.
“There must be an end to this!” The half black, half pale ginger Scottish Fold yowled, she’d had ENOUGH. She grabbed her ultra high tech microphone.
“Let all cats old enough to worship frog gather beneath the castle for a kingdom meeting!!”
She could see Mushroompaw with her salad smoothie and Flamilton in her “H tower”. Then all gave their attention to her and she noticed she still had her PJs on— well her frog onesie. She shouted, “Can we all just agree to disagree and get on with our lives?!?”
“NOOOOO THE WAR MUST CONTINUE!!!” Yowled creamos as she tackled one of the H’s followers
Frogpaw sighed and dodged one of Mushroompaw’s yeeted lettuce.
NOPE, DARTH FALLOW IS JUST STARTING TO BUILD THE CRAYON STAR BASE FOR THE EMPIRE/DPRH!!!!!! WE’RE ONLY JUST STARTING THIS WAR!!!!!
Shroomi gathers and yeets lettuce
Fernpaw blinked at Frogpaw while nibbling on catnip.
“NOOO, THERE IS NO FUN WITHOUT A WAR!” Pumpkinpaw yowls as she throws catnip at Froggo
Koi blinks and teleports to the Queen. “Hmm… how do I know if this is a dream, what if I’m just here existing in this world that is…. war I guess. Also I love frogs, they are cute.” Koi recalls that they’ve never participated in any wars fully.
Icemeadow wipes away a tear at Froggii’s wise words. “You’re right,” he mutters. “There must be an end to this.” Then, he remembered the contract he signed. “Unfortunately, I have already made my choice. Good luck, Froggo. I’m rooting for ya.”
Pumpkinpaw watches over Icy closely. “YOU BETTER NOT BETRAY US CATNIP LOVERS!” she yowls into his ear.
Flamilton watches this from afar and smiles. “Maybe.” Flamilton says, confused. After a long pause, she realizes exactly what she said. “And by that, I mean not at all!” they grin, skipping back inside the H Tower from their balcony. From their spooky room similar to Alastor’s radio room, she cackles over the many speakers the H’s have placed among the Hazelpage, “THIS WAR WILL LAST FOREVER! Well, until us H’s win, of course!”
“NO, THIS WAR SHALL LAST UNTIL US CATNIP LOVERS WIN!” Pumpkinpaw yowls as she throws some of her unlimited catnip at Flam.
Koi nods in agreement. “In fact, I don’t think this war is ending anytime soon… but for the most part I do support the Triple-H’s… don’t tell Pumpkin… I don’t want to be attacked… also can I get a tour of your tower, it’s very interesting?”
Silverstar picked up a stick and duct-taped a flag to it. “Behold teh new chaotic Clan, your local AbsurdClan!” Silverstar yowled, catching everyone’s attention. “We live for the undefeatable power of memes of adorable baby animals!!!” (xD this is so random…) *tapes a piece of paper to the wall, which says ‘SIGN UP FOR THE CHAOTIC ABSURDCLAN WHERE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, EVEN FLYING HOT CHILI PEPPERS’*
Pumpkinpaw rips the paper and writes on the wall, “CATNIP IS SUPERIOR TO ALL, BOW DOWN TO CATNIP OR PAY THE PRICE!”
Silverstar rips the old paper down and puts an indestructible sign with a security camera attached to it up on the wall. Silverstar picks up a Meme Beam blaster and chases Pumpkinpaw around the place with it. “AAAAHDKDKFLFKDJG YOU CANNOT DESTROY MY POSTER WITHOUT FACING THE CONSEQUENCES >:3 /j (which btw is getting blasted by the meme beam which will play memes of cute cattos in your brain forever BEHOLD THE AMAZING POWER OF MEMES”
Pumpkinpaw grabs a wonderful disguise as a trash can, goes up slowly towards the poster, and puts the sign back over it. She then gets back to her secret base and starts laughing maniacally.
Silverstar turns around to see the sign back on top of HER sign. Silvs rips the paper down and tosses it into the volcano.
Koi gasps and grabs all the flyers before making them into paper airplanes and flying them into everyone. “Oh my gosh I love chaos?!?! I MUST MAKE MORE MARPITERLEAFS!!”
“want to make a truce with me and the catnip side? -not that you didn’t get a good impression of my allies here ANYWAYS” Creams asked as she attacked a crayon lover
AND YOU WILL REGRET THAT THIS CRAYON LOVER IS ME!!!!! Darth Fallow grabs her light sabor which has a crayon as handle and rips all of Creamos’ fur off with it and than yeets it into a volcano. Creamos is now bald.
Silverstar yeeted both Creamo and Darth Fallow into the volcano with her patent pending Meme Cannon. “MWAHAHAHAHA!!! CYA ON THE FLIP SIDE (why did I just quote the horror book that I read last night…) >:]” /j
Darth Fallow quickly puts her Darth Vader helmet on. With that on, she can’t be hurt by the lava and she climbs out.
CREAMOS GROWS HAIR FLUFFIER THEN LAST TIME “NOW FACE MY POWER” Creamos flys out of the volcano and yeets Silverpaw into the volcainno
Silverstar uses her magical meme powers to float her out of the volcano without her fur being singed then chases Creamo with her meme beam. 😛
*Epic battle between Silverstar and Creamos*
Silverstar found a large piece of cloth and some sharpie markers, and scribbled the AbsurdClan logo on it, and taped it to the giant fort that she had put up in 0.0001 seconds somehow. Silverstar taped pictures of memes everywhere. “We live for chaos and memes!” Silverstar declared.
Lettuce
Catnip
memes
Triple-H
Crayon light sabors
Tadc
Sausage
Pumpkinpaw grabs a microphone and starts speaking to the cats of the Hazelpage.
“EVERYONE WHO HAS NEVER WATCHED STAR WARS/DOESN’T LIKE IT, WE MUST SET ASIDE OUR DIFFERENCES FOR A TEMPORARY TRUCE IN ORDER TO DEFEAT THE STAR WARS LOVERS! WHO’S WITH ME?”
ME! *holds her meme beam at the ready in case this “truce” is a trap*
Darth Fallow sends some tie-fighters to fire at Pumkinpaw. The pilots of these tie-fighters are all mindless clones of Darth Fallow. Now let’s hope none of them get the C’Baoth problem…
ME!
Koi nods their head. “Huh… sure. But can we leave the Spaceballs lovers alone? Pleeaaaaaseeee :<"
“ME!” Kli cheered and flung catnip, crayons, and lettuce into the air (anything I’m missing?).
Harpy Wynn ignites her double-bladed lightsaber, putting on the Emperor’s robe, and sneers in a very Palpatine-like way: “Such atrocities mustn’t be made…”
You’re right! I, Anakin Fallowwalker, am now Darth Fallow and I will recieve orders from my lord Palpatine. *bows*
We actually need a list of who’s on what side bc this is getting confusing 😛
I̶’̶m̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶T̶r̶i̶p̶l̶e̶-̶H̶ ̶s̶i̶d̶e̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶o̶l̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶i̶d̶e̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶n̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶r̶s̶
I’m on the crayon side, the Empire/DPRH side, and the Star Wars lovers side!
Their is:
Triple H
Tadc
Mouseemperos (whatever their name is..)
Lettuce
Meme side
Catnip
Crayons
Peacemakers side (whatever their name is)
Maybe more sides idk
ik ik- people need to put what side they’re on on their display names.
But my display is too long for three sides😭
(I suppose I must confirm I’m still with the Triple-H’s and am still on my Blog break, I am just also on my little Blog pop-in! I’ll be back, like before, we will fight the fight and win the wars…)
We should make official posters and stuff for each team :00
I found a beautiful picture for the H’s 😊
https://www.canva.com/design/DAGD7POyyCk/t0hyqyVIjYwClBMQqBL_YA/view?utm_content=DAGD7POyyCk&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=editor
I am the Crayon leader side and on the Triple-H side bc Crayons and Triple-H have teamed up
“I’m on the catnip-crayon-waffle-pancake-sausage-sandwich side, and I spend me days spectating the war and re-watching Hazbin. If anyone wants to chill in my house it’s on Hazelpage Ln, house 5465* . So yeh.” Koi grabs the latest edition of One Piece and crawls backwards into her house, whispering stuff to sound creepy.
*Nah, it not my real address, I can’t do that 🤪
MelodyPaw walks into the hazelpage, holding a bottle of catnip juice that she was about to crank open. “I heard y’all from outside! Star Wars truce you say?! I’m in! And I haven’t watched Star Wars, so when y’all done, I’m on the ‘not watched Star Wars yet’ side, ahl’right?” MelodyPaw said in her southern accent, ripping the bottle for her catnip juice and she started to chug it.
(Im on catnip and haven’t watched Star Wars yet sides)